Militant breastfeeding

Hooray for Andy Burnham, young groovy new minister at the Department of Health, who is bringing in new rules saying that women should have a right to breastfeed wherever they are (Sunday Times). It's bad enough as a lactating mother to have to whip out a tit in public places - all those perverts and pathetic little boy men all desperate to get a look at your tackle. But even worse is some nuisance busy-body telling you to put them away - what are you supposed to do, let the poor little baby starve? Or scream? No one likes that much either. Anyway there is a more serious point about this. When I was breastfeeding I often used to take my little girls to the playground in front of the Mosque in Regent's Park London (it's near where I live and I used to love it as a child). I'm not particularly self-conscious but unhooking your boobs and plugging a baby onto the nipple while a burkha-clad posse of ladies with disapproving husbands hovers near you is discombobulating to say the least. For a while I tried to be super-discreet. And then I thought, bugger it. It's a free country. I'm not shouting at them for covering up everything but their eyeballs. Why shouldn't I feed my baby? She's hungry. So I did. And yes the multi-cultural clash felt a bit uncomfortable but the freedom of all of us comes from not being intimidiated. So yes, I welcome this new government ruling. It would have felt good to know that I had the weight of the law on my side when the disapproving wahabis were in the area. My breastfeeding days are now over, but it's great news for the rest of womankind. What do you think?

Comments

[Philippa]

"Could you please stop breastfeeding? We have had a comment from another customer....." said to me this morning by a cafe staff member while I was (discreetly) breastfeeding my six month old baby in the community centre cafe run by our local authority in Central London. I have the manager's details to write a letter of complaint, but where do I start?!

[supermother]

I've virtually never seen a woman bottle feed. Certainly no one I know has bottle fed. Over 22 years I always wanted someone to stop me and make a fuss and they never did but let us have this law which they already have in Scotland. If people are upset by babies feeding those people need therapy. A baby feeding is such a special image of beauty that artists have painted it for generations.

I always fed the twins one on each side and that limited for practical reasons really doing it when out and about except singly.

Of course we need this law.

I've always found breach of the peace interesting. It's whether a person might start a fight. So if someone is likely to be appalled you're top less sunbathing in a park the police could make you cover up but presumably if you're in a liberal area of London where nudity is fine or a beach then it's allowed but no general law thou shalt not be nude (not that with breastfeeding you can see anything - just some people, those who need therapy and probably had defective potty training, think the idea of it is awful). Tha man who walked from Land's End to John a Groats naked I thought it was a bit unfair to stop him. Most of the time he was on hills away from anyone.

[Charlotte Lasseter]

I have four children and I breast fed in shopping centres, on buses, in restaurants, parks, beaches... anywhere. Nobody batted an eyelid: I do not think people realised what I was doing.

It is sad that we need to have rules. The UK just isn't a very child friendly place is it?

[judith]

Good for you Henna and if I was still breastfeeding I'd come and join you. My baggy jumper, your burqa, same difference.

To be fair to the writer, I think it was the husbands she was unnerved by- I can't help noticing that most of the disapproval people have experienced on this post has been from males.

[henna]

i am a burqa clad lady who hovers around in regents park mosque and would like to say i would be delighted to see a fellow mum breastfeeding around there! I have done so myself on the bench outside the mosque exit of the park , although babe's head and my boob was well covered by my headpiece it was clear what i was doing and nobody seemed to mind in the least....perhaps it is a pre-conception that burqa wearers are unfriendly that is alarming you unecessarily

[North East Quine]

Don't understand the bit about the burkha clad ladies. My husband had a Saudi colleague, whose wife was completely covered up and one of the things that baffled her about life here, was how few women breastfeed. She said it made no sense to accept Page 3 girls, and then let embarrassment stop us from breastfeeding. She said back home in Saudi women breastfeed everywhere they go, though admittedly under her black gown, you couldn't actually see anything.

[Natasha]

My mother once told me that when I was a small baby (about twenty years ago now) she stopped one day for a tea break in the local supermarket cafe. She asked a member of staff if it would all right to feed me - he said it would be. She settled in a corner to breastfeed, only to be instantly set upon by the man she had spoken to before. It turned out that he had assumed she had meant bottle feeding.

He asked her to withdraw to the toilets to feed me. Her answer was a crisp:

"Absolutely not. Would you eat your lunch in a toilet?"

After that he left her alone to get on with it!

[sarah]

I breastfed both my children until they were 2 (years not months old). I got to the point where they would come and discreetly lift my top when I was sitting down, have a snack and go off and play again. I am a big woman and in consequence have fairly big bresats. I truly don't think I ever caused offence - indeed people used to come near when I was cradling the baby in my arms to see what a sweet thing he was (either of them) and only realise that I was breast feeding when they were right up close. I was always able to fullfil my needs as a mother, the baby's need for comfort/food and the public's desire for discretion. I never ever took my breast out but slid up my bra over my breast under my top and the top so it came just above the nipple, fixed the baby on and held him so he covered my bare midriff and that was that. With a little bit of respect to others and by not flaunting my motherhood and my 'rights' I was always afforded a lot of respect - and for a long time. Breast feeding is one of the best things I did for my kids - and for myself and I was never once embarrased or felt it wasn't my right - but I was discreet

sarah

[Lisa]

It must be a slow news week: this particular bill has been knocking about for over a year. Why bring it up now?

[ShefMum]

I, too, have merrily breastfed wherever, whenever, and never had any problems. However, a friend of mine was once breastfeeding in the doctor's surgery waiting room when she heard "yeah, get your tits out". No one said anything. This may be because in our area of Sheffield, only 2% of mothers breatfeed, citing reasons such as "It's disgusting", "It's unnatural"(?!), and "my boyfriend would be freaked out by it". When girls do branch out and decide to breastfeed, cheered on by midwives and positive propaganda, they are often beaten back by the disapproval of mothers and sisters, and give up after a few weeks.

I have no point to make by all this, I just think it's really sad.

Oh, my friend was also asked "Do you have to do that here?" by a young, apparently childless man while sitting next to a shopping centre play area.

[MotherAtLarge]

Up here in Scotland, the right to breastfeed in public places is enshrined in law. And quite right too. But it still takes some nerve though, doesn't it, to whop out one's boobs and start feeding. I remember some terrible fumbling and nervousness in the beginning. Now that's all over, I like to navigate around Edinburgh mentally by places where I breastfed my daughter. Happy memories.
It helped that I had a good and militant friend who was breastfeeding her son at the same time. Strength in numbers, and all that.

http://www.motheratlarge.com

[Lazy Mummy]

I breastfed my daughter all over the place restaurants, cafes, airports/aeroplanes, bookshops...the only place I ever felt uncomfortable was in the restaurant of a department store while visiting family in Teesside (I live in the US these days). There, while I discreetly fed the nipper with my husband sitting between us & the rest of the restaurant, out of the corner of my eye, I realised a couple of the older generation were staring disapprovingly from across the room...while eating their lunch in a cloud of smoke and fag ash (this was three years ago). Some legislation can't come quickly enough.

[spymum]

Hooray, this is great news, but how sad that people still have problems with women doing what is entirely natural for their children in the first place.

Breast feeding is the one thing I managed to get right/do well when my two were little. I never had anyone ask me to stop, but I have friends who were. And it is so hurtful and upsetting.

Anyone who finds breast feeding odd or repulsive must be a serious, Grade A weirdie.

http://poshmum.blogspot.com

[Debbie]

Where we live (Australia) it is a legal right for women to breastfeed their baby anywhere. It is illegal to ask someone to leave or to stop. Female politicians have even breastfed their babies in the parliment chamber. I always fed my children where ever we were and whenever they needed to be fed, right up to about 15 months. It is the best possible option for the baby (although I happily acknowledge it is not possible for everyone nor everyones choice) I just thank my lucky stars for having my children in a country where they are so welcome pretty much everywhere and where brestfeeding is seen as a wholey natural and beautiful experience.

[GARTH REX]

WHAT SORT OF WOMAN ARE YOU?

"I beg your pardon, Madam, but nursing your child at the table is not in keeping with the elegant graciousness of our restaurant! I am afraid that I must ask you to... cease and desist!"

"But Waiter, my baby is hungry! No one can see anything! She is only a month old..."

"I am sorry, Madam! This is not a nursery! Surely you know that we must maintain standards of decency for our guests?
Good Heavens! What sort of woman are you?

"Waaaa..aaaa...aaaaaaaaa!!!!"

"I beg you pardon, Madam, I am the Manager here! It does appear that some delightful little person is ready for lunch!"

"Oh! I mean...well, I am sorry... I did not bring a bottle.."

"Waaa...aaaaa...aaa!!!"

"Please, Madam, our guests are becoming upset. Surely there is another, shall we say, natural, way of providing lunch for the angel?"

"You mean....? Here...? Now...? "

"Yes! For heavens sake! Your child is hungry! What sort of woman are you!?

[Mary]

I also have breastfed (3 babies) without every having had a single negative comment or as far as I've ever noticed any disapproval. If the baby is latched on and getting on with it, people rarely even notice. I do wonder whether it's easier in London than elsewhere in the country.

[Kim]

I do think that bringing in a law about this is overkill.

I happily breastfed my daughter in public, and no-one complained. On two separate occasions, I was actually approached by older women saying how nice it was to see someone breastfeeding in public.

People who object to seeing women breastfeeding must, in my view, have something wrong with them. What do they think breasts are for?

[jane]

The daftest reason not to breastfeed in cafes/restaurants that I heard on the radio was that 'it might upset people who are having their lunch'....I did a real double take. What the hell do you think the baby is doing?????? Yup, it's having its lunch!!!!!

Anyway, it's perfectly possible to b/feed a baby without the slightest flash of a nipple to offend either ancient ladies or those males who consider nipples the sole perorogative of their personal sexual appetites.

As others here have said, not only was I not aware it was ILLEGAL to b/feed in public, but I did it merrily all over the place l4 years ago.

[barbara]

Protecting the right of a mother to breastfeed in public is only one of the 7 objectives of the Breastfeeding Manifesto and by no means the most important one. How about reporting on the other six too?

[Mumtoone]

Give us the right? I like Serena believed we already had it. Are you saying someone might come and knock my door with CCTV evidence of me feeding my daughter somewhere and press charges against me???? Where/when is it illegal?

[beta mum]

I breastfed in parks, restaurants, pubs, cafes, boats, planes, trains, and no-one ever complained.
I even carried the baby, while being fed, around our local indoor play centre to supervise two-year old throwing himself into ball pools.
With the aid of many of the afore-mentioned baggy jumpers/tee-shirts depending on the season, no-one seemed to notice or care. Not that it would have made a difference to me if they had.
My kids are now 6 and 8, so it wasn't that long ago.

[kieransmum]

There has been a thread on mumsnet recently which discusses the fact that breastfeeding in public is not generally regarded as a problem in most Moslem countries, even though in many cases the women prefer to cover their faces whilst doing so.That has been my experience in Egypt.
I think this piece is a little misinformed/ oversimplistic.

[Serena Williams]

I am GOBSMACKED! I've just read the Weekend Times story in the weekend papers that the government is considering "giving women the right to breastfeed in public".
Giving women the right??? Don't we already have it?? Please tell me that when I finally drop my latest, half Australian half English baby into the world, it is not coming into a backwards place where women's breasts are okay to flap merrily in the breeze on Page Three of The Sun, but not to discreetly nurture their babies???
It is true that from the start of my life in England I have noticed a strange puritanical attitude towards breastfeeding. I have only ever seen one baby being breastfed in all my travels to child-friendly places (and, who am I kidding, I rarely get to go anywhere else) I thought this was just misdirected prudishness at first, but then I have seen plenty of said Page Three girls' assets displayed in newsagencies, in a manner so casual that we know none of us are allowed to get into a femmo outrage about that....
I have always said I am not a nipple nazi, as my lovely friend Wendy so lovingly called me, however I think I am going to have to change my mind about that now. The health benefits of breastfeeding are absolutely unequivocal. Being breastfed until at least nine months makes a baby demonstrably smarter, their whole lives. Breastfed babies are not always more relaxed in those first few months of life, it is true, but the health benefits for the baby are undeniable.
So brilliant is collostrum, the stuff mothers first make upon the child's birth, that a few years ago the winning Australian Football team used the cows' equivalent of it to win the grandfinal (they probably all use it now) Also, oxytocin, the chemical that is released into women's brains upon orgasm and breastfeeding, is one of the best treats I've ever had, for a long time with each baby. Not just did it help me bond well with my children, but it also gave me lots of zen to make friends in a way that I never had before.
I hope that I get a good many months' supply of natural unbottled oxytocin when this baby is born too!
And, legislators of Westminster, if you can't give us this basic right, and soon, then expect to see me on your doorstep, holding an illegal one-woman-and-babe rally. My little one will be wearing one of my favorite t-shirts: GO Mothersuckers!

[Judith]

sorry, the Joking was about feeding at the wheel, not the post just before mine.

[Judith]

I hope she is joking!

Seriously, I have fed three without unnerving anybody by sticking them up a baggy jumper. Also an excellent way to disguise my lack of progress on getting my figure back. Fair's fair: we can make an effort not to flash too much flesh and others should make an effort to tell the difference between sexually provocative clothing and a hungry baby.