You've never had it so good

Many of us groan about the difficulties of juggling work and family life - but we should count our blessings. Research this weekend shows that more people are working flexibly than ever before and this piece by acclaimed American economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett (below) reveals how bad things used to be (she was denied tenure as an assistant professor because 'she had let childbirth dilute her focus') when her US university offered no maternity leave. Hewlett has campaigned tirelessly to try and create a new kind of career structure where women can take 'off ramps' to deal with raising their families but then have 'on ramps' so they can get back on track - and has persuaded top firms including Goldman Sachs and General Electric to take up her model. Her new book on all of this is fascinating (details at the bottom of the piece and check out her website above). Even within my own working life things have got better; with my first baby six months was the maximum maternity leave you could take - now many women take a year (if they can afford to). The first few years are undoubtedly tough and there are times when it all feels too knackering to be worth it, but it does get better.  How is it for you, ladies? What would make your lives easier? Are you still stuck in a world where linear, masculine career paths are the only ones on offer?

Hewlett writes: Hitting the job market at age 56 involved more than the usual indignities. Cold calls were interspersed with creative strategies on the let's-cover-up-my-real-age front. My stroke of brilliance: dabbing pancake make-up on the back of my hands to disguise incipient age spots. Hands are a dead give-away, capable of betraying the tautest size 8 body.
The whole ridiculous process made me sick at heart. Back in the 1970s women crashed through all kinds of career barriers - but little did we appreciate the complexity of the road ahead. Those of us who also wanted children had no idea how hard it would be to raise a family and conjure up the linear progression of a successful male career. My first detour or "off ramp" was a predictable tale of being forced out of a career by child bearing troubles. In the September of 1979 I discovered I was pregnant with twins. I was delighted but scared. My first child - an adored daughter - was just two years old, and I was daunted at the prospect of "balancing" three small children with my demanding job as Assistant Professor of Economics at Barnard College, part of Columbia University, New York. I was at the six year mark and my tenure review was just starting. This pregnancy was problematic and I gave serious thought to taking time off from work. I consulted my Dean and was told that since the College had no maternity leave policy, I wasn't entitled to a leave of absence. Time off would - most certainly - have dire consequences.
Ten years of hard, grinding work had gone into my career and I was only eighteen months away from tenure. Given a cutthroat academic job market could I really give up the possibility of lifetime job security? I agonized, and decided to stick with my job. Two months later I was sitting in my office, bone-tired when my waters broke. It was much too early to go into labour - I was only twenty three weeks pregnant. I spent two days lying flat on a hard hospital bed, sick with fear and praying to some ill-defined deity. One of the babies died. My obstetrician had no option but to induce labour. Afterwards, for quite some long time, life was truly hard to bear. I mourned my babies with an intensity that frightened me. In addition to a heavy load of sorrow I was ridden with guilt. If only I had given up work, if only I'd had the guts to risk my career. That winter as I struggled with a bitter brew of regret and grief, I had some flickering new awareness of the constraints that come with children. I had taken too much for granted. In rejecting the domestic life of 1950s mothers I'd assumed that I could do the family thing in my spare time.
What I thought I needed to concentrate on - with laser-like focus - were credentials, career ladders and success on the outside. I now had a new humility. Healthy, happy families didn't just happen. They were painstakingly made. These glimmerings of insight rearranged my priorities. Six months later when I became pregnant again I took an unpaid leave of absence — to nurture a high risk pregnancy and what turned out to be a premature child. And I paid the price. In the summer of 1981, despite a unanimous recommendation, I was turned down for tenure. I was told I was uncommitted and had "allowed childbearing to dilute my focus." As I moved out of my office at the end of that academic year it struck me that the shape of the career model was all wrong for women. Linear career progressions were not where we were at, as, tugged and pulled by family responsibilities, we slithered and skittered down various pathways. And yet a continuous cumulative employment record was a pre-requisite for success. Today, the stresses of trying to juggle a family and career are more recognised. More people work flexibly than ever before - both women and men - and I like to think I've played a key role in making that happen. In February 2004, in an effort to flag up the problem of women dropping out of the workforce because they could not hold down a linear career, I founded the Hidden Brain Task Force. Our aim was to develop alternatives to the male model. Over the next eighteen months I reeled in 34 global companies (including General Electric, Time Warner and Goldman Sachs) and persuaded them to commit to both funding the Task Force and creating new career models which would allow women to rejoin the workforce after having taken time off — to create "off-ramps" and "on-ramps" up and down which women could travel according to whether their business or domestic lives needed priority.
Bringing these companies on board was the hardest thing I've ever done, but together they represent 2.5m employees operating in 152 countries. The policies they adopt can have a huge impact on the global workforce.
And it's not just to benefit women. At the launch of one of our British research projects at the House of Commons two years ago, various private-sector leaders spoke of the European baby bust and the need to restructure work so that older people can stay in their jobs longer — to fill out the talent pool and ease the pension burden.
At the same event a senior executive from Time Warner pointed out that "women who leave or languish are, in effect, the canaries in the coal mine, the first and most conspicuous casualties of an out-dated, dysfunctional career model."
By the time I set up the Hidden Brain Drain task force I was at the end of my own infuriatingly "on-off" career. A short while after my second child was born I landed a great job as executive director of the Economic Policy Council, a think tank based in Manhattan, but in 1987 I hit a second wall. I was becoming my worst nightmare - a burned out, tuned-out mom. How could I help my five-year-old and deal with separation anxiety when I needed to catch the 7:30 am shuttle to Washington two out of his first three days of kindergarten? Something had to go. I resigned the week of my 40th birthday and as I moved out of yet another office I knew that was the end of my "male" competitive career. Even if I managed to become a successful writer, I would never again be seen as an up-and-coming hotshot, a contender for the impressive title. But I knew what I needed to do. I went home, and started a new career as an author. I worked odd hours, travelled rarely, and saw a great deal of my kids. In purely personal terms these years were successful. I learnt to enjoy my husband and children. We did stuff together; finding time to plant geraniums, play Pooh Sticks or visit the penguins in the Central Park Zoo. This carefully contrived equilibrium lasted for a decade. Then, in the early 2000s, I veered off course for the third time. My career was on the rocks again, my books were not selling. For a few weeks I felt sorry for myself. Then I went looking for a job. I had a huge sense of urgency. As a woman on the "north" side of fifty, I knew that time was not on my side. Whatever shot I had at a late-in-life career was now-not later.
I secured two teaching positions, then set up the task force.     Why didn't I throw the towel in? Everyone would have understood had I called it quits. The fact is I still yearned for the power and influence I'd tasted as a young college professor. Now with my big kids grown and my remarkable husband caught up in his own second career I was free to go for broke. I was inspired by the notion that this time around I really could make things happen. I was convinced that powerful demographic shifts-ranging from baby busts to retiring baby boomers to shortfalls in the talent pipeline-were forcing employers to consider my message and solutions.
How glorious it would be to break the stranglehold of the male competitive model - to create alternative pathways to power for women. For me this would be a precious legacy - to make a difference in the concrete options facing my daughters and an entire new generation of young women.

Sylvia Ann Hewlett's Off-Ramps and On-Ramps, Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success is published by Harvard Business School Press

Comments

[Sadiqa Alam]

Hi, I can understand the situation all of you are in. I am a professional accountant with two degrees. I spent 9 yrs at my two jobs which were quite high pressure. When I became pregnant with my daughter, I left my work and now it is 2 yrs since then. I want to go back to work but here in UAE where I live, the head hunters & companies are finding it hard to digest the 2 yr gap. I have no idea what to do next? They are not looking at more than nine yrs that I worked non stop but only at the 2 yr break with a lot of negativity.

[Isabel's Mummy]

I read this article with intense interest as I am about to give up work (next week is my last)to care for my two children age 1 and 3 full time. It helps to know that there are people out there in exactly the same boat. I went to a 3 day week after I returned from my second maternity leave and effectively said goodbye to my career and two-fifths of my nice salary! I am happy to take the time out now, but nervous that I will never ever get back to where I was. I wonder what I will become and how people will view me, including my own daughter when she gets a little older. Will I loose my separate indentity, will I miss the buzz of a busy office? Will I go slowly nuts at home? And most importantly can I ever hope to get back out there when the time is right for my family? From June 1st when people ask me what I do I will say 'I mind my kids' - Yikes!!

[jane]

A brilliant article that sums it all up. We need legislation to give parents the right to part time and flexible careers (ie, not just poorly paid, dead end dogwork!) and this has to be a legal right, in order to level the playing fields for all employers. America sounds a nightmare place to be a mother.

[Jackie White]

As a small business owner and fulltime working mum, I see both sides: my clients need their deadlines delivered, yet my kids still want their mum back with daylight hours to spare.

I don't think the trend towards flexitime is limited to just women -all my male/female staff want it; it's getting harder as an employer to balance the needs of demanding projects AND be flexible! Women can have it all, but perhaps not all at once?

[supermother]

I didn't want to be home with the babies and I'm glad I wasn't so traditional career paths worked for me as they do for many women who work full time and have spouses who see children as much a father's as a mother's responsibility. Avoid marrying sexist men. Marry someone who loves your career and likes children and is proud of you and what you have achieved and who thinks housewives are a bit... well not really what he wants... and ensure you don't establish sexist patterns once the children are there.

For those who want breaks, whether they are male or female, don't be put off career wise. Plenty of people achieve things when they are older. My principal advice on this is eat well, keep fit, don't drink too much and stay slim. Those factors have a huge impact when you get to 50 and beyond. So keep off those cream buns.

[Judith]

My advice is, never compete on quantity. The workplace is full of young people able to stay at their desk forever. Compete on quality- be the one person who knows something really well, and they will wait for you to be there.

[Jennifer Wilson]

Sorry and to add to my other comment our out of school club doesnt take place on the school premises, the children have to be walked by the teenage girls over at least two busy roads. Not what I would call a true out of school club.

[Jennifer Wilson]

My job was a project and when I discovered I was pregnant with twins all thought of returning to work part time after they were born went out of the window. In fact when they reached 9 months I could not have left them. I was not a maternal type person at all before they were born but after I was. However my comment is that jobs should fit around women, perhaps more jobs appraised to see if they could be performed around "core hours" of say 10 until 2. I have been off with my children while they are pre-school age but have had to create myself a future career as an artist as our out of school club is run by teenage girls you wuoldnt want to leave your children with and as yet I havent found a job that will work on a 10 until 2 basis. So I have to hope my art takes off ! So my situation is not a lot different to the article. Another point is I get fed up with people implying I shouldnt be off with my own children - I have never EVER had a positive comment about it except from my husband thank goodness. Many people who have grandparents around helping out at least three days a week or more dare to ask me why I am not working. We have two grandmothers in our family but it is more a case of us looking after them. They do the odd bit of babysitting but many many people are relying on grandparents. I do not want to see them subsidised as childcarers with yet more state subsidies (paid out from my taxes) as to me those families already seem to be managing an awful lot better than mine.

[Wonder Woman]

"How is it for you, ladies? What would make your lives easier? Are you still stuck in a world where linear, masculine career paths are the only ones on offer?"

I love working and balance a 30 hour week with three children under 6, still managing to collect them from school three times a week.

My life would be easier if there weren't so many school holidays and if Mrs Doubtfire were on hand to do 'jobs' for me!

In a company which employs over 3000 people the majority of the directors are male and those that are female have no children! Sometimes I dream of changing the mould but other times I don't think I've got the fight left in me without there being a negative impact on my family.

It's certainly eaiser now to have a flexible working arrangement than it was 6 years ago and I can only see things improving further for the next generation.