Has motherhood changed whom you perv over?

I've noticed a certain maturing of my sexual tastes. Whereas once I would drift of in a dreamy reverie over the thought of a shy 17-year-old boy in an indie t-shirt - with me showing him the ropes on a sunny afternoon - motherhood has completely ruined that. When I see teenage boys now, they just provoke an advance-fret that they might break my daughters' hearts in ten years time. I also find myself speculating on what temperature wash I would put their t-shirt on, in order to get the mayonnaise stain off the front. And whether they have nits. And if they're worried about SATs. And whether I should ask them if this nu-rave malarkey is all it's cracked up to be. And then make them tie their shoelaces up.
Similarly, any scenario where I would be coquettishly crying out "Give it to me, Daddy!" like Marilyn Monroe in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes", has gone to blazes. First of all, "Daddy!" is now, forever, a word screamed at three o'clock in the morning by a six-year-old who's just had a bad dream about Cybermen. It's never going to be used with casual abandon again. It's lost it's playfulness. And besides - as you realise, when you re-watch all those old classic movies - grown women flirting with men and using the word "Daddy" just sounds a bit ... child abusey. This aspect fairly ruins "How To Marry A Millionaire."
My main lust now is for Alfred Molina as Doc Ock in Spider-Man 2. I'd like to think it's because I feel that, by having sex with him on top of a burning sky-scraper, I could turn him from the darkness into the light. That my irresisible sexual magnetism and knowledgeable way with a man's anatomy could, single-handedly, save the world from destruction. I suspect, however, it's more likely to be down to Ock's arms. He's got four! He could get the shopping in and carry a child up the steps!

Picture: "I'm playing ping-pong with myself with the other two hands."

Comments

[J]

I cant tell you HOW worried my 15 year old son was by the thought that I might have posted on this one...he was relieved to see that I had confined myself to grammar.
Seriously, as my own chilkdren become young adults I look at gorgeous young guys and just see someone else's little boy.

[Starling]

"he looks like he's at least partly composed of sextoys!"

Is this supposed to be a bad thing?

Anyways, I now perv over women. Beat that :P

[supermother]

Over whom you perv... yes that stuck out to me too.

Actually even the language is sexist isn't it? It's suggesting women having sexual feelings is bad - a sort of Madonna/Whore difference we shouldn't permit in 2007.

[J]

"Whom" you perve over? Surely, "over whom you perve".

Come on ST, pedantry has to be all or nothing

[Ian]

"I quite like them about 23/24. Not really any brains to speak of at that age, but who's interested in their brains??"

Blimey - its a good job your talking about males here 'cause if you wrote something like that about women it'd be construed as sexist and imagine would cause offense from all sorts of touchy women.

[Cheryl]

...I too find him strangely attractive. I told my husband and he couldn't believe it. Not sure it's the arms though...

[emma]

Ha ha Caitlin, interesting perspective but can't say I agree. The older I get the younger the men seem to be I drool over....no I don't fancy 17 year olds. But I am 36 and I quite like them about 23/24. Not really any brains to speak of at that age, but who's interested in their brains??

[Gipsy]

Actually, when you put it like that Rivergirle I can begin to see his charms.

I have developed a strange attraction to Barry Scott. I think it is the enthusiastic attitude he has to cleaning.

[rivergirlie]

caitlin - that is DEEPLY worrying. he's tasty, i'll grant you that, but in spiderman, he looks like he's at least partly composed of sextoys!

rivergirle