Claire Verity - "baby expert", or dangerous psychopath?

Just finished watching Channel 4's new show on baby care, "Bringing Up Baby." Three experts are pitched against each other in a "real life experiment", to see which of three differing child care methods is best. In a nutshell, there's two touchy-feely lentil weavers with ethnic pashminas, and then Claire Verity - former nanny to Jerry Hall, from whom she has possibly stolen hair-clippings in order to fashion her own, distinctively rigid blonde "do."
Verity believes in four hourly feeds, no cuddling during those feeds, and leaving the baby outside in the pram for three hours at a stretch, in the middle of winter, crying as much as it likes. By using her method, Verity reckons you can be throwing a party within twenty four hours of giving birth, as your life will have "returned to normal. I guarantee it." Verity is obsessed with the idea of parents drinking wine from 7pm onwards, whilst their 24-hour-old baby wails itself to sleep upstairs. That's pretty much her signature manoeurve.
Maybe I'm fatally soft, but there seems to be two pertinent points here.
1) I would kind of expect HAVING A BABY to change your life in some way. I mean, if you want your life to stay "normal", maybe don't try mix up you and your partner's DNA in a procreative crucible, and then poo out the next generation. And,
2), I can't really see how Verity's methods differ greatly from the kind of dissociative behaviour that would have any "underclass" kid being whisked into care. Left outside to cry, drinking, displaying little or no affection. The only difference seems to be that an "underclass" kid would be being raised by parent[s] scrabbling around to afford their 7pm bottle of Lambrini, whilst Verity has clients who can afford her fees of £1000 a day.

Mothers who already hate Claire Verity explain why here, here and here

Check out Jenny Colgan's post about Claire as well

Comments

[Jane]

Good for you, E! What a terrible, terrible story about poor Bill Oddie's mum.

[E]

25 years ago, I had the same experience. We lived with my mother-in-law and she insisted on bottle-feeding my daughter (I breastfed her secretly at night)and put brandy in her bottle if she cried, and wouldn't let me go to her.
I ran away with my daughter when she was 2 weeks old.

[Anna]

I haven't seen the programmes, but the story reminds me of another programme I saw a few years ago, where Bill Oddie revisited his childhood home and memories. As far as I recall, his mother spent many years in a psychiatric institution because of (in those days undiagnosed) depression. She had had another baby and been forbidden, by her mother-in-law, to go to the baby when it cried. The mother-in-law stayed with her (possibly lived in the same house, I can't remember now) to make sure she didn't go to the baby, even though she was terribly upset when the baby cried. The baby, who was quite small and frail, had to stay in a separate room by itself, had strictly regulated feeding times, etc etc. The baby died.

[AL]

I happen to know this girl and it is not pretty. She has duped you all well and truly.
I read that she charges £1k per day!! How crazy, and no qualifications to boot!!....

Trust me when i say that this is only the tip of the iceburg....

Channel 4 are a bunch of suckers for not checking her cv properly!

Makes me wonder how many more get away with it?

[mike butler]

Look at the work of Dr Frank Lake at www. bridgepastoral.org.uk. He was 50 years ahead of his time and would refute Truby King for all the psychological damage caused to children in early life.
mike Butler

[Georgie]

Hi

Check out what my mother told me about 'pram parks' in response to my blogging about BUB in the 1960s, (She is now pro-attachment parenting I ought to add)

http://motherland1.blogspot.com

"In 1963, I went to Sainsbury's in Paddington and parked Catherine in the row of prams outside and went and shopped and paid and walked home carrying two huge paper bags of groceries. After about 5 minutes I wondered WHY I was carrying these heavy bags?????!!!!! And I went back feeling very guilty! Those were the days - I wonder if there are any photos of those pram parks outside shops then? The Peter Jones one in Sloane Square featured very smart babies with monogrammed blankets and lacquered coachbuilt pram with leather suspension straps for good rocking etc and all the babies were pink and white and well-fed, strapped in chattering to each other and dropping their rattles! Nannies and/or mothers were upstairs trying on clothes.

It was absolutely standard procedure and nobody would have dreamt of pushing a pram into a shop! We never imagined anyone would steal a baby!........ Until someone did and it was on the news more and more: distressed women who couldn't have babies etc"

[J]

lol wonderbra I think that is fantastic.

You have made me think to ask how a certain august libary near me provides for breastfeeding...

[Wonderbra]

Yes, slings are fantastic. It can be intimidating to breastfeed in public at first, fearing verbal attack from prudes. I remember how, doing research in an august library on deadline, I wore a sling, covered by a wraparound poncho thing. Sitting as far away as possible from everyone else, I fed and cuddled my tiny newborn. I think I was seen as a really unfortunate fat woman with severe digestive problems. I'd certainly have been removed if they'd known the truth. It wouldn't have worked weeks later though.

[Caroline]

I know a woman who used to leave her son crying for hours on end because she was too busy reading to be bothered to attend to him when he needed feeding or changing. This boy has now turned in to a pretty disfunctional adult, unable to form relationships, insecure, antisocial, avoidant. I am about to have my first baby and will be loving it and attending to it as much as I possibly can. Routine is fair enough, but without love and cuddles? Human beings aren't robots.

[Jane]

Thank you! Mind you, if God IS in a smiting mood, then I do happen to have a rather long list of those who could do with a jolly good smiting....!!!! Starting with Becky Johnson in the Lower Fourth, who nicked my Mars bar out of my desk the first week of term... yes, she could certainly do with a good Smite to learn her a good lesson. Then there was (etc etc)

[The same]

Responding to the "It's the same (sick!) psychology" comment.
Dear Jane, I couldn't agree more!!!!

[J]

Tracy, I agree about the sling and it's the only way you can get out with three under five as I had. With a bit of cunning you can feed the slingee without anyone seeing, while shopping etc., if the new baby is a total slowcoach and life has to move on while he makes up his mind whether to eat anything this side of Christmas.

About the only thing I havent done while breastfeeding is drive the car :)

[tracy]

In reply to the amazonian comments. I'm no hippy nor living in a jungle (I live in somewhere that scarily resembles stepford) and slinging, breastfeeding and cosleeping is completely realistic. Makes modern life easier. Trying to juggle all kinds of things at once is much easier, managing the school run when you have a hungry baby would be incredibly stressful for all involved if I didn't have a sling. I can go shopping, have a hand for each of my other children, go to music festivals, get on the tube with none of that hassle of escalators and buggies and no worries about fitting contraptions into your car boot. It really is a piece of p***.
It's not about revolving around your babies needs, it's about easily attending to them while going about your lives. Don't knock it until you try it.

[Jennifer]

Claire Verity has become so contentious that she's just been "uninvited" to the Baby Show at Earls Court in London in two weeks by Tommee Tippee, the company that invited her to appear.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/child_health/article2584661.ece

[Jane]

Yup, that line's a classic. REALLY poisonous! I think the only way you can riposte is in kind - say someting in a limpid voice like 'well, actually, it was his great sense of humour'.....

[Mary]

Reminds me of the Mrs Merton line: "So Debbie McGee, what first attracted you to short, balding millionaire Paul Daniels?"

[Mumofboyz]

By the way, you can now join a Facebook group called Parents Against Claire Verity. If you are so inclined.

But maybe there is no need. Having watched the second episode, I now conclude that CV is digging her own grave by appearing in this sorry excuse for a programme. Maybe the editing paints her nastier than she is. But her methods didn't seem to achieve anything better than the others and she comes across so badly that I can't believe anyone will ever employ her again.

[Jane]

"As for Mick Jagger, sorry but I look at Jerry Hall and think, she didn't, did she? maybe I didnt see him when he was still gorgeous..."

He was NEVER gorgeous, he was ALWAYS a sleazeball, he was ALWAYS a really yukky person to his wives, and he is now a TOTALLY sleazy, pathetic old git. I LOVED it when he got cross about being on the front cover of saga. Stupid old goat.

Wonderbra - glad I could help!!! I do wonder about pyschologists sometimes, the things they come out with (usually after lengthy research conducted at the tax payers expense). However, many do say sensible things.

[J]

Mary I love the idea of employing the dog. Actually we could employ remote or virtual dogs, not even there.

As for Mick Jagger, sorry but I look at Jerry Hall and think, she didn't, did she? maybe I didnt see him when he was still gorgeous...

[Mary]

This woman (CV) is so dreadful that I was quite fascinated. Does she actually have any training or is she just a psycho? If I wanted to go out to dinner and leave somebody in charge who would ignore the baby's crying, I could employ the dog for a lot less than £1000. Speaking of which, my husband was equally fascinated but kept muttering "Mick Jagger didn't, did he?"
And what are the parents who chose her thinking? Would you use a child minder who treated her own baby like that?
For me the 1960s woman seemed most reasonable, although I didn't like her views on breastfeeding. The other one seemed a bit mad; I don't think they have many bugaboos in the Amazon.

[J]

I agree with Lazy Mummy. I am bound to be more interested in the teen stage. Only problem is, they can read what you post if they dont trust you to behave... Certainly my eldest child is not likely to consent to being unpicked on alphamummy.

[Wonderbra]

Jane, you just cheered me up so much, I'm sitting here giggling away about the monkeys now and the 50's morons. Thanks!

[Jane]

"They couldn't believe, as they offered me sleeping pills, that I could hear and identify my own baby's cry, an insticnt that has evolved over the past million or so years."

This is very common - my mother used to tell me that she could hear me crying, even when I was in one of those 'baby wards' that newborns used to be dumped in (nine months of absolute physical intimacy with another human being - then plonked three corridors away - INHUMAN!!!!). The nurses always seemed surprised, apparently, and couldn't understand why new mothers said they could hear their babies crying.....

Now, these days, even though the main reason for it maybe lack of nurses, at least new mums get to have their babies with them.

I can also remember reading a 'fancy that!' article about how babies in ICUs did better when they were able to lie on their mums, even all wired up - 'kangaroo care' I think it's called. The wonder is that anyone wondered at it....

let alone the moron pscyhologis in the 50s who studied monkeys, and was amazed that, given the choice, a baby monkey always went to the fake mummy monkey who was warm and furry rather than the wire one that had the milk....Honestly, how stupid do some people have to be! It's really quite scary.

[Wonderbra]

When I had my first daughter about 13 years ago, I was sent to a unit where you had a few days rest and were taught to bath your baby and breastfeed. In fact, you weren't allowed out, in theory, until you could do their exercises, give the baby a bath without ducking it under water and had attempted feeding. It was a place for the privileged, although I felt I was in a Magdalen Home for the Wayward! Husbands had strict visiting times and there was a woman who had lost her baby among us at mealtimes. This help was meant to be a treat and a support to new mothers and no doubt cost the taxpayer dearly. They heavily advertised, with great pride, their "babysitting service" recommending the local tandoori, where you could go as a couple and take advantage of their expertise.
We had been through 5 years infertility treatment, so just longed to be at home, with our creation, as a family, not going on a hot date. They couldn't believe, as they offered me sleeping pills, that I could hear and identify my own baby's cry, an insticnt that has evolved over the past million or so years.
I thought they were well meaning, but misguided and I staged a hasty getaway in the night. After an enlightened hospital birth, where I was able to choose what I did and how, it was weirdly prescriptive. I think the message has to be, trust your own instincts, something TV expert Tanya Byron seems to have realised. In my view, why would you trust a stranger you have never met to know more about your child, who is part of you?

[Jane]

" I hate the assumption that a newborn baby is a "little madam" (or male equivalent) trying go get one over on its parents."

If this is CV's attitude towards babies and children, then I think what is happening inside her is that she is someone who chooses to work with babies and children NOT because she cares about them, and enjoys them, but for precisely the opposite reason - she hates them and wants to control and punish them for existing. And punish the parents for having them in the first place.

Presumably she has been unable to find adults (other than vulnerable parents) to control and punish, so she's picked on those she can - ie, babies and children.

It's the same (sick!) psychology of those who believe in God not becasue they want a God to be loving and kindly, but because they want a God to smite people - using, so usefully for the believer, them as a willing vessel of smitation.