Lady hair: a full, frank and furry discussion.

Having realised that it's perfectly possible to discuss body hair without being horrible to small children, I now want to start a new thread on the subject.
Here's where I'm coming from, viz hair: I thread my eyebrows whilst waving a picture of Elizabeth Taylor at my threader. I thread my upper lip whilst waving a picture of Hitler, with "NO" written across it, at my threader. I get my legs waxed, because bright pink 40 denier tights look awful with hairs coming out of them.
After that, however, it's Teenwolf all the way. I don't bother shaving my armpits because I never wear strappy tops, and time spent shaving my armpits could be spent reading Grazia. And, besides, shaving lets all the cancer from deodourant in. That's what I heard, anyway. And I'm going to be frank - my pubic area looks like the back of Mika's head. Although obviously not with a pair of bright red GAP trousers underneath it, and a slighty "clashy" t-shirt. Or a falsetto voice saying "Humphrey, we're leaving" issuing from it. Actually in almost every way it's not like the back of Mika's head. Try to forget that.
I firmly don't believe in bikini line waxing. About as firmly as I don't believe in being hit in the face with a baseball bat every six weeks. Aside from the pain - I bruise like a peach and bleed like an, erm, woman - it seems bizarre to me that you'd do something which means that, for a sizeable majority of the time, you have stubble in your pants. If waxing's all about the aesthetics, then aesthetically, it's illogical. So I've gone for the retro look for my "welcome mat". It's the kind of thing you'd see in 1970s Swedish porn movies. I'm sure you can probably buy wigs, to get the look, from Camden Market, or somewhere in Hoxton.
From what I can make out, most women do their bikini lines so that you don't get what is delicately refered to as "spider legs" - or "pant moustache" - when in a swimming costume, or in nice underwear. I can't believe we're spending precious hours of our lives habitually modifying a part of our body to fit into clothing, when the clothing should just COVER THAT AREA. I still cling to my Boden boyleg, halterneck swimsuit as a small bit of sanity in a world gone pubically mad. Honestly - waxing yourself to fit into pants? It's like trimming your hands to fit into gloves.