11 stupidly expensive gifts for pampered preschoolers

Researchers say that raising a baby costs more than £180,000. We say, these people obviously don't know where to shop.

The dedicated parent can easily make their way through that sum in the first few years. Here, a starter list of some of the most fabulous baby bling around:

1. Silver Cross Balmoral - £895

After all, it's called the Bentley for Babies, with style that the brochure describes as "pure pram glam" - all chrome and leather with hand-sprung chassis and hand-spoked wheels. Spring for a black uniform with hat for your chauffeur (aka nanny) to complete the picture. At Harrods.

2. Armani baby bottle - £34.95

For your child to develop good taste, you must feed it to him from birth. If you just can't fathom buying a baby a bottle from Armani, pick up one from D&G or Dior instead. At Harrods.

3. Armani dummy - £22

Oh come on. You're just having a laugh, now. http://www.twfashion.co.uk/product_detail.aspx?s=011190331155

4. Tiffany feeding set - £320

Tiffany baby items range from the adorable (Tiffany Meadows 3-piece baby set in bone china, £90) to the elegantly luxe (Limoges alphabet boxes, £125; sterling silver bunny bank, £780; Paloma Picasso sterling silver porringer, £290). While the sterling silver Tiffany baby rattle used to be a traditional gift for infants in the US (£160), these days, why not pick up the Elsa Peretti Padova baby set to ensure that the silver spoon (along with fork and baby cup) are inserted into baby's mouth as early as possible? At Tiffany.com

Elsa Peretti Padova baby set

Baby rattle

5. Missoni mint and pink baby vest - £209

This impossibly stylish vest has the signature Missoni zig-zag stripe on the chest. Missoni lovers can also get a baby sling made from Missoni fabric from the US - or at least they could before the item sold out, from the Etsy website. Missoni vest, available from Harrods.

6. D&G baby moccasins with shearling lining - £87.95

Exquisite, butter soft and very fashionable footwear for someone who never walks. Available from Harrods.

7. Baby Dior pink snowsuit with silver buttons and fur-trimmed hood - £110

The only thing to wear in Val d'Isere. From TW Fashion

8. Corsican Paris Iron Canopy Baby Crib - $3,349

A cast iron canopied bed fit for the dribbling, non-speaking, incontinent princess. http://www.minitots.com/store/detail~Corsican-Corsican-Paris-Iron-Canopy-Baby-Crib_1253.htm

9. Bunny and butterfly chandelier for your baby's room - $465

Is a chandelier made with a bunny, butterflies and feathery white trim the height of sophistication? You decide. http://poshtots.com/catalog/Bunny-and-Butterfly-Chandelier//10547/product_detail.asp

10. Baby chic bassinet - $850

It takes a parent with a certain sense of drama and perhaps no bad associations with the bassinet from Rosemary's Baby to fully enjoy this item. http://poshtots.com/catalog/2364/Baby-Chic-Bassinet-with-Linens/2364/16458/product_detail.asp

11. Angel flight crib - $2,350

Hand painted "by talented artists" and featuring flying cherubs. Sweetly anachronistic or creepily twee? http://poshtots.com/catalog/121/Angel-Flight-Crib/121/14048/product_detail.asp

Comments

[Rachel]

I'm glad I'm not an alpha mummy. Reading these comments just shows how truly ignorant and incapable of independant thought you all really are, despite your obsession with education. Beneath all of your arguments is the basic assumption that going to university and earning a high salary are the only signs of success in life. (Woe betide SM's daughter if she falls in love with a plumber or somebody whose mother has had a bout of depression! She would be disowned.)
I'm so glad that my mother encouraged me to follow my vocation to train as a nurse (despite my 3 As at A level - from a comprehensive school in the countryside by the way) as I have met some wonderful people who are not obsessed with money, and have not had to spend my working life with narrow minded consumer drones like yourselves.

[supermother]

Yes, some of my children have done dull jobs and even the Caribbean one was hard work - looking after the beloved offspring of alphaparents.

On universities some people do courses with work placements too and don't have all the holidays. My daughter's friend who graduated and moved to a job on over £60k worked most holidays for the bank he's now at. Most law students are recruited from those who have worked at the firm's vacation schemes etc

Some say making your children have debts makes it more likely they will take the course seriously and get a proper job after it. I haven't gone down that and we have a deal that I pay if they graduate debt free but I don't support them after that.

I've never taught in a university (the pay is too dire) but I am sure they would argue that they need those months off to research and do the other parts of their roles, paid on the basis of numbers of reports published etc.

[Lisa]

Apologies Supmermother for misreading your post. Actually, though some of the places I worked were terriblly dull (retail can be mind-numbingly boring), some of them, despite terrible working conditions, were fabulous, and I made really good friends that I'm still in touch with. I think what's important is learning to make the best of all situations, and being able to learn from all situations.

[Jane]

I think they need SOME experience of macjobs, just not too much! Just enough to make them grateful they are at uni and to inspire them to work harder so they don't end up in macjobs all their lives.

I am unsure that spending three years at uni getting deeper into debt is the best thing to do, if you could do a first degree in a third less time. From what I can see students spend five months of the year not at uni - that's not very efficient to my mind. Yes, it depends how much vacation essays etc they have to write, but why not extend the term time and get them to do the work in term? I do suspect the whole five months 'off' business is more for the convenience of the uni-staff than for the students.

One good thing that does seem to be emerging from imposing fees is that students are now demanding that they get value for money from their fees, and not to be bummed off with, as I heard on the radio, nothing better than a library card! Maybe the quality of teaching will improve where it needs to. (Yes, I appreciate that not all university researchers make good teachers, nor vice versa!)

There does seem to be a lot of 'pot luck' when it comes to how well courses are taught and how good the teachers are, especially when it comes to tutors. (Though, again, yes, some students aren't worth decent tutors either, because they basically CBA to knuckle down to study)

[supermother]

I thought you were complaining about having to work all university holidays in dull places. I am sure my daughter had as much experience of different people working somewhere like the Caribbean as if she were in Macdonalds in London. I think it's good for them to work in university holidays (and the extent to which parents fund their children at university is a very interesting topic with no right or wrong answers to it) but if they don't have quite so much debt it does ease things a bit. I graduated without debts and I'm glad my work allows me to ensure my children will.

[Jane]

I certainly agree with the principle that all of us should spend some time doing a horrible low paid menial job, just so we realise how horrible doing them is, and not only be grateful to those stuck doing them, but also to inspire us not to get stuck doing them (though in a well ordered world we'd all take our 'fair share' of the necessary horrible jobs)

[Lisa]

Hm. Well, as lovely as swanning around the Caribbean would've been, I am actually very glad that I did spend my summers doing shift monkey work. For a start, I have learnt to deal with all manner of people, from screaming irrational chefs, to people who are just so lovely and polite, you want to take them home and keep them forever. As for the reasons why I worked was not because my mother was on her knees scrubbing the kitchen floor etc., but because I was unable to get a student loan because of technicalities involving my date of arrival in the UK.
However, because of having all those crap jobs and the skills I learnt from them, I now have a job that many would kill for, advanced to the next corporate level two years faster than normal, now have a more senior position than the Caribbean swanning individuals and earn more than them.

[supermother]

One way you can avoid your children working in macjobs all university holidays for low pay whilst jealous of their fellow students have been to exotic locations and are relatively rested (see post below) is to be an alpha mother, get off those knees scrubbing the kitchen floor, carve out a well paid career. In a sense there is that duty to our children and yes yo might get a bit of pleasure working in the local charity shop or just working out ready so you look good for your husband in true Stepford Wife fashion or whatever but if you have a proper alpha job as a woman not only will you be a lot happier but you can aid that university experience to the benefit of your own children when the time comes..... And I think mine who have gone abroad or worked abroad surely anyone of any class or education could do that. I don't think there were class qualifications for my daughter's job this summer in the Caribbean, just a lot of work, research, effort on her part to get that job.

[kieransmum]

Jeez I knew there were disadvantages to living in the North, but I didn't know they were so big. Supermother was right all along! Get me to South London now!

[Lisa]

KM, give it time. When I first moved over, you could only get your South African basics (rooibos tea, Mrs Balls Chutney) from specialist S'African or health shops. Now they're everywhere! Soon, boerewors will be everywhere, though biltong has already taken over south west London.

[Jane]

J, I agree. One good way 'in' though is to volunteer to help with something or other (schools always have 'something or other' they want parental help on!), even if it's nothing to do with what your own children are doing. Because that way, if you interact with staff in any way, or other pupils, you can find out a lot of what is going on, plus you become a more familiar face,including one that staff are more likely to 'like' because they know you are off your backside for the school!, plus you actually start to learn your way around the school. I help with a sixth form activity, nad it's been a very useful knowlege gaining exercise.

Plus of course it's a good way for parents to 'put something back in' and help support the school. Also makes you appreciate all the 'extra-curricular' work that staff put in, eg, going to events held in the evening simply to support their pupils and I very much doubt they are on time and a half for working unsocial hours!!!

The PA is another excellent way of 'getting in' though it can depend on who is 'running' the thing as to whether you feel you fit in. I don't much with mine, though I'm sure it's more a question of just 'those who run it' rather than the rank and file, but I tend to avoid it for cultural/class differences.

[J]

Can I add an extra element which is how much the parents participate?

At primary school it seems so easy to be part of the system. You normally take'n'drop and help with something. By secondary the kids do their own commuting. It seems much harder to make it work.

Point taken about the twinning system Lisa - that does make a big difference. To be fair the classes I saw in Khayalitsha and elsewhere were at the rough end of even township schooling. As for UK, I meant integrated classwise rather than racially, but I do take your point that you were in a privileged section of society here as well so that may make your comparison fair enough. Certainly English children are very much less grateful for opportunities here, mainly I think because they don't know any different and feel 'entitled', is that wrong or not? I don't know.
On your other point - yup, white South African mothers who worked have always had a hard time.
I have a South African friend of seventy, who worked as a teacher when her children were already school-age. The night before she was due to start work, her mother rang to tell her she kept having dreams about her grandchildren starving to death and it was a divine sign that she wasn't to start work!
On whingers: there are whingers in all nations, I am probably oversensitive to expat SA whinges because I hear them so often. But you know what you SHOULD be complaining about? The lack of decent boerowors and biltong except at exorbitant prices over here. Now that really is a scandal. We can get Polish sausage in the supermarkets now, so why not that?

[Lisa]

one further thing to add in defense of South Africans you encounter in the UK, if you think we're bad, you should meet our parents. One of the reasons I started reading the alphamummy blog was to find out what women's experiences are of having children, working, not working etc. after being told repeatedly while growing up (and now as well) that a woman's place is in the home with her children. And that's it. I can only think of a handful of woman my mother's age (grandmothers now) who worked at any point after having children. I also recently found out that my mother was fired (way back when) when she told her boss that she had fallen pregnant, and hence would be leaving in six months time. Shocking.

[Lisa]

Yip. You've spotted the white South African, and I do know that as a group we do whinge a lot. About everything.
I did leave a while ago, and I understand from other South Africans who have come over more recently that the school system has deteriorated somewhat in the old country. However, I did go at times to schools in townships (as my school had a twinning programme with one of them), and it may be looking at it with hindsight (and hence 20:20 rose tinted vision), but the children did seem to appreciate everything they had and were, on the whole, really lovely. As for my experience of schools in the UK, the sixth form college was in a predominantly white, middle class area. In fact, thinking back on it, I can't recall a single person who wasn't white, so I don't know if it's integrated schools at all.
I agree with Jane that maybe uni students here would benefit from more intense courses, or else (for many people I went to uni with) the reality of what a privilege they have been granted. Obviously, this does come from someone slightly bitter who spent their summers working shift monkey jobs for barely minimum wage while some of my fellow students went on exciting holidays to exotic locations, and came back rested and ready to face the new term.

[kieransmum]

That made me laugh out loud, WB, it is wonderful.
Lisa - just to add, having read through my post I wanted to reassure you that I am NOT accusing you of being racist, subconsciously racist, racist by default, culturally insensitive or any of those shibboleths, it is just that I have heard a lot of white South Africans complain about the same thing and I have tended to find they have little or no experience of township education. So my apologies if what I've written comes across as aggressive - it wasn't meant that way, but when I re-read it I thought it might.

[kieransmum]

That made me laugh out loud, WB, it is wonderful.
Lisa - just to add, having read through my post I wanted to reassure you that I am NOT accusing you of being racist, subconsciously racist, racist by default, culturally insensitive or any of those shibboleths, it is just that I have heard a lot of white South Africans complain about the same thing and I have tended to find they have little or no experience of township education. So my apologies if what I've written comes across as aggressive - it wasn't meant that way, but when I re-read it I thought it might.

[Wonderbra]

I just thought I'd rather pooterishly add that there is definitely natural selection in the world of Silver Cross prams; Someone gave us a very smart one with a crest. It hated being in the West Country where there are no pavements and my children loathed it, wailing and trying to get out from a very early age, evidently realising that they were way above their station. Not aiming high enough or just bumpy and uncomfortable, who knows? But they never slept in it and it was hardly ever used, until our dog suffered for a very long, sad time, finally dying of cancer. He loved going out in the pram, as being a tiny dog, he had never had such a privileged view of his surroundings and he could no longer walk. When he died, I couldn't bear to look at it, so I gave it away. Anyhow, those prams really do belong in Hyde Park with a uniformed member of staff.

[kieransmum]

Lisa - do you mean South Africa or South Asia or South Australia? If you meant any of the latter, apologies - I'm answering as though you were from South Africa.

Are you a white South African, and when did you leave? The reason I ask - as someone who has many South African friends and relatives, and has lived and worked there - is that white South Africans in the UK often complain about this country, the working-class attitude to education, behaviour in schools, etc. Did you spend time in South Africa in a black or coloured-majority school, in one of the formerly disadvantaged areas such as Soweto or Khayalitsha? I have, and I promise you, there are worse standards of behaviour amongst the students than anything I have ever seen in England. Sure, many black kids are desperate to be educated but in many schools just as here a minority of angry alienated youth are out to wreck the system and make life hell for everybody else.
Poor disempowered underachieving groups tend to produce impossible-to-manage classrooms, it doesn't matter where they are in the world. White South Africans in general were educated in a highly segregated educational system where they were only amongst a social elite (still are today, in many ways, with black middle class joining the white in some areas, rather than empowerment of the majority). Then they come to England and when they see an integrated school system they are puzzled as to why some students are less motivated than their friends were back home.
I just want to point out that you are not necessarily comparing like for like.

[supermother]

People might find the genetic elements repulsive but they are a fact that you can't get away from. When my sister was choosing the donor for her children all those kinds of things could be checked and people do subtlely or subconsciously do a good few checks when they're picking a partner too.

(Colyton Grammar school is 28 on the state and private school league tables, that's true, credit where credit's due - it's the 3rd best state school in the country behind Herietta Brnette and QE Barnet).

As for children not appreciating their university education that will be true for some. I have 3 there at the moment so I know huge numbers of all kinds. I do think the 3 years and long holidays are great though in terms of personal development. My daughters have done such life enhancing things, grown up so much through working abroad etc in university holidays.

[Jane]

I don't really think that starting school at four is particularly linked to students abusing their educational opportunities, more that they need a good slap and told to be grateful for living in the UK etc etc etc. Perhaps one good thing to come out of the uni-fees situation now is that finally maybe students will NOT take tertiary education for granted (pun intended!). Maybe now they realise they are going seriously into debt will wise them up as to the tough economic realities of life. (I speak as someone who did not so wise up - and have paid the consequences of being allowed to muck about at uni!!).

As to uni-fees, I wonder if it would help if uni courses were two years intensive rather than three years with five months holiday... what's the point of having all that holiday if you just earn rubbish Mac-wages??

As to starting school so early, I'd probably agree that school per se is not the right place for a child that young, but obviously they do need some kind of approrpirate education/mental and social stimulation - ideally a mix of good home care and part time nursery education should do it.

It angers me that if you want your child to be in a particular primary school you HAVE to start them in reception class - you can't just home ed them for a year and join them in in year 1 or 2.

[annamac]

Is there an inherited gene which governs trolling on blogs?

[Lisa]

I came over from SA when I was 17 into an excellent 6th form college, and noticed some key things. first of all, like the Pakistani and Indian immigrants that SM has spoken to, in general, British people do not appreciate the educational opportunities that are presented to them. Obviously, there are some appalling schools, but students are also provided with facilities and opportunities for free that children in other countries could only dream about. Even at sixth form level, and following on into a Russell Group University, many students just didn't care. At sixth form they would sit and text each other during class, not hand in work, talk over the teacher, and at University, they would much rather get drunk than attend lectures. There was a prevailing view that "first year doesn't count, so you don't have to do anything", which very often continued into subsequent years. One thing that has come up in various studies as to why British students are under-performing is because they start school so young. Four is not the sort of age a child (unless they have the inclination to do so) should be stuck in a classroom for hours at a time, being force fed reading and numbers. Countries like Germany, Scandinavian countries, France etc. only start school at 6/7 and kids consistently out-perform British children by the age of 11, despite the late start. I think this is for a variety of reasons: at an early age, you learn through play and being given the opportunity to explore, develop imagination etc. is much better for younger children. Secondly, having been stuck in school from the age of 4, by the time most children get to 16 they're totally fed up with school and can't wait to leave.

[margot]

Supermother - argh! Stepping away from this now, as I disagree so strongly with so much of this, I can't actually formulate a coherent sentence. This will teach me to keep my private life to myself in future - my gut instincts were right.

[j]

"(Depression is partly genetic as is schizophrenia and propensity to alcoholism etc ... which means picking the right genetic father for children is equally as important as schools. I would put it at 50% genes and 50% environment)."

or indeed, the right mother, SM.

Tell me, at what point did you have your fiances genetically screened? I find it so hard to introduce into general conversation..and then there's the pesky problem that they haven't cloned the schizophrenia gene yet, darn it, and people keep getting these spontaneous mutations...