25 most offensive children's T-shirts

How we dress our children says more about who we are than who they are, experts say, and the popularity of edgy knowing slogan T-shirts for children is growing. So do these baby vests and children's wear represent hilarious social commentary, offensive attitudes or lame jokes? You decide.

Shirts that say…

…my parents have affluenza

1. For the haves and the have mores

"Being a brat is fashionable" says the website selling this Swarovski-bejewelled vest with "diamond-like" closures. But wait, we thought the Paris Hilton thing was out.

2. Greed is good

Remember how wonderful the Eighties were? Neither does anyone else, partly because Michael Douglas was its poster boy. Before you buy this item, just ask yourself - do I really want my son to grown up to be an oleaginous self-described sex addict who marries an ambitious Welsh crumpet, however talented she may be?

… my parents épater le bourgeois

3. I’m this many (displaying a raised middle finger)

Isn’t it cute teaching your kid to flip the bird? Surely there's a UK version of this for two-year-olds

4. All Daddy wanted was a blowjob

…mummy's body is funny

5. Pardon my nipple breath

6. I tore mommy a new one

7. I'm more of a boob man

8. F!#k the milk – Where’s the whiskey tit?

…my dad thinks he's Snoop Dogg

9. Motha sucka

10. Playground pimp

11.  Lil Pimpin

…my parents like the Farrelly brothers

12. iPeed

13. iPood

14. Don’t forget to wipe my ass

15. Wipe my butt sucker

…my parents are suversive social commentators

16. Binge drinker

17. I drink til I pass out (just like my Daddy)

18. What happens in preschool stays in preschool

19. My mom is a MILF

20. Kickin' ass and takin' naps

21. Cuter than baby Jesus

…my parents think a Lolita bedroom set is a good idea

22. Me luv you long time

There's nothing like having your daughter's shirt reference the slogan of Asian prostitutes

23. I'm gonna be hot

24. I enjoy a good spanking

25. Hung like a five-year-old

Comments

[djdigit]

These are amazingly funny!

[Matt]

In an age where our society is regularly shocked by sexual assaults on minors, lets sexualise young children by dressing them up in tarty short skirts and strappy tops. Do, lets.

And since we're all acting like utter fools, lets give them idiotic slogans too.

For the love of all things holy, or if your not into that, all things right, stop turning our younger generations into mockeries. In fact, stop making mockeries of yourself. I don't have any dislike for parents who dress children in this rubbish, i merely pity them for how incredibly dim and short sighted they are.

(PS. Im a moderate at heart)

[Fat Mumma]

We have one which gets interesting reactions - 'Raised By TV'... some people laugh, others think it's completely inappropriate... which makes me laugh!

[Roger]

Best one I've seen, worn by my daughter's 10-year old Goth friend (on her black t-shirt):

"If you think I'm a bitch wait till you meet my mother"

[cass]

I work at a zoo and all day long I see stupid tee shirts on parents and adults. Maybe not offensive in a "we should do something about this" sort of way but tired, played out, stupid.

"Daddy thinks HE'S in charge!" is one I'd happily never see again. It doesn't molest my soul and my core values; it's just boring.

[Bob]

How about this for a baby T-Shirt?

Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy and The Easter Bunny don't exist, but that's ok because I can't read yet!

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[TH]

i have a sense of humour - and a baby (the two are not mutually excl.) and have always found these kinds of tshirts over the top and wrong, frankly.

i did the "give peas a chance", "insomniac", et cet (and my 2 year old is sporting a Hillary in 2008 shirt) but nothing rude or inappropriate. they're babies/kids and the world is too rude as it is.

i agree with other posters that the whole princess/girlie thing is hideous. as are sequins and glitter on little girls clothes - so hard to find non-tarty toddler clothes.

[Brenda T]

As I had ripping between the vagina and the rectum during childbirth it is actually strictly accurate to say that my child had "torn me a new one". And I must admit I laughed out loud reading that one. With legs crossed naturally. Its not the sort of thing that I would put on my child but a sense of perspective is needed; I think the most offensive ones are the ubiquitious "diva/princess/sexy" style ones for little girls to be honest - icky icky icky but then I have boys so shall be spared all those pleas to purchase.

[Emily]

I'm not sure about these t-shirts as I think they are a little extreme. I've put some slogans on my babies. I had 6 month onesie that said: I can't read.

A toddler shirt that said: My Daddy Rock's

And: I eat at Mum's.

They made me smile. (SHRUG)

[Jane]

I suppose such T-shirts do serve a purpose however. As well as warning other parents not to let their own children mingle with such wretched children unfortunate enough to have such 'wags' for parents, they will also warn teachers of which children are going to be the problem children in school (ie, the problem children are the ones with the problem parents...)

[J]

AP agree that that is very funny :)

[Irene]

Wilst some might be humourous some are just disgusting,people who put their children in these have exrtremely bad taste and obviously no pride in themselves or their children,Personally I think these sort of T shirts should be banned for children, still but then that is I guess limiting the freedom of speech or censorship, its a pity people don't realise repsonsibilities come with freedom
I am so glad I don't have friends or family who would even think of buying these for my grands(or for themselves for that matter)although I know they would go in the bin, I may be old fashioned but I fimd sexist remarks, profanity and downright crudity totally uncecessary, what people do or say privately is their affair but not in public

[MANDY]

For me personally those that are crude and using sexual or references swearing are uncalled for.
Everyone is individual and what i find funny another wont. thats life. Unfortuantly some peoples sense of humour is way off my scope and some others are way below. I wouldnt put any of the above on my kids nor my grand kids when they come. Then again I wouldnt have their names emblazed for a stranger to call to them either!!

[Delilah]

I did buy a bib for a baby shower recently which said "Give Peas a Chance"....

[AP]

These are all just awful and I'd rather see a kid wrapped in burlap than wearing any of them, but the words I saw recently emblazoned across the seat of a nubile teenager's sweat pants were a bit more saucily amusing:

BACK AWAY SLOWLY

[Jennie]

I cannot believe anyone would buy a t-shirt like that for their child! Its absolutely beyond me; teaching children to be thugs is the last thing we need with our unfortunate chav-britain status growing.

[Anna]

Disgusting. Some people earn money selling shocking things, no matter how offensive they are, even to small children who cannot read it and don't know they are objects of perversive laughter for adults. "Enjoy a good spanking" - no wonder this slogan appeared in Britain where children were beaten for so many years at schools (I dont't want to imagine what happens at home). I hope this kind of hideous "humour" will never be sold in my country.

[Thorrun]

How sick will this society get?

[WHATAREYOUDOING?]

The slogans are wrong...my sense of humour can be pretty wrong too so although I found them amusing, I wouldn't dream of exposing kids to anything of the sort.

Acquiring an appreciation for such a sense of humour later in life can be perfectly harmless, once one has an understanding for the serious impact the treatment of a young child by oneself and others can be. Dressing ones children in t-shirts like these is negligent.

[Brian]

Pathetic parents. Really pathetic.

[J]

I enjoy a good filthy joke, but only if told about, and by, consenting adults. Also, jokes are fuuny once, and they are funny in the right circles. So I can't see myself sharing a real shocker with the sweet old lady in the queue at the GP.
So I can see people liking the idea in theory- "wouldnt it be shocking if the baby said this" and I can just about see why you might give a parent a T shirt like that, in the same way as you would give a chocolate willy if that was your sense of humour- never intending it to be used, if you see what I mean. (and no, I have never given a choccy willy, it's not my style).

What I dont get is people actually using them on their kids, day in day out. I do think that's just plain creepy.

[Loobster]

I think they're pretty tasteless, on the whole. Some may just be harmless fun, they are at the very least extremely tacky and I don't think I'd dress my child in (any) of them. At the other end of the scale, those which have sexual references and jokes are extremely strange.

[MontysMa]

I'm pretty horrified that anyone would chose a t-shirt that says 'My Mum is a MILF' - Oedipus complex anyone? As for 'I tore Mummy a new one' that's just....wrong.

(Sorry I refuse to use the US versions of mum and mummy out of principle!)

[Jane]

What a lot of 'extra posters' we're getting on this one. Has this been cross-posted elswhere, like the cycling helmet article?