25 most offensive children's T-shirts

How we dress our children says more about who we are than who they are, experts say, and the popularity of edgy knowing slogan T-shirts for children is growing. So do these baby vests and children's wear represent hilarious social commentary, offensive attitudes or lame jokes? You decide.

Shirts that say…

…my parents have affluenza

1. For the haves and the have mores

"Being a brat is fashionable" says the website selling this Swarovski-bejewelled vest with "diamond-like" closures. But wait, we thought the Paris Hilton thing was out.

2. Greed is good

Remember how wonderful the Eighties were? Neither does anyone else, partly because Michael Douglas was its poster boy. Before you buy this item, just ask yourself - do I really want my son to grown up to be an oleaginous self-described sex addict who marries an ambitious Welsh crumpet, however talented she may be?

… my parents épater le bourgeois

3. I’m this many (displaying a raised middle finger)

Isn’t it cute teaching your kid to flip the bird? Surely there's a UK version of this for two-year-olds

4. All Daddy wanted was a blowjob

…mummy's body is funny

5. Pardon my nipple breath

6. I tore mommy a new one

7. I'm more of a boob man

8. F!#k the milk – Where’s the whiskey tit?

…my dad thinks he's Snoop Dogg

9. Motha sucka

10. Playground pimp

11.  Lil Pimpin

…my parents like the Farrelly brothers

12. iPeed

13. iPood

14. Don’t forget to wipe my ass

15. Wipe my butt sucker

…my parents are suversive social commentators

16. Binge drinker

17. I drink til I pass out (just like my Daddy)

18. What happens in preschool stays in preschool

19. My mom is a MILF

20. Kickin' ass and takin' naps

21. Cuter than baby Jesus

…my parents think a Lolita bedroom set is a good idea

22. Me luv you long time

There's nothing like having your daughter's shirt reference the slogan of Asian prostitutes

23. I'm gonna be hot

24. I enjoy a good spanking

25. Hung like a five-year-old