Jobs for a 7-year-old: potatoes and pocket money

Patricia writes in with this story about her upbringing, with which I identify strongly. Is anything so sweet as the long-awaited treat like an ice cream, that you've saved up for all on your own?

Reading with interest all the very valid comments on helping children cope in today's very materialistic society I thought I would share with you my childhood and how we all helped run the home.  My mother came from Italy after the war, taught herself English by going to the cinema and worked hard throughout her life. She brought us three children up to have good Christian values and to look after each other. 

My jobs where, before school (aged 7 onwards) I would have to clean the "grate", roll up the old newspaper and lay the fire for the evening.  On return from school (with my own key) I would then peel 5 lbs of potatoes, as these were cheap, ready for when mum came home at 5.30 from her office job so dinner could be cooked, usually a stew as this was also cheap.  Or when we finally got a lodger we used to have Pasta with some mince meat in it - wonderful. Mum used to go out to work again in the local Pub and my brothers would then look after me.  You may ask what Dad was doing - in the Pub drinking the earnings!

So mum had a hard life and we children shared the tasks that needed to be done. We got pocket money each week, although a small amount it was yours to do what you will with - I would save mine, this took a few weeks (only got 3 pence) and buy a tub of icecream and a flake bar and before everyone came home would eat this all to myself - delicious. 

Children are part of a family unit and Parents should be teaching them that everyone benefits no matter how large or small a job is, it is doing the job in the first place that counts not the monetary value it holds.  Material things should be something you acquire when you are at work and can pay for them out of your own earned money. 

So Working Mothers and Mothers who are at home bringing up their children, give them values - give them boundaries - give them love, be the friend to them when they are grown, and hopefully you will have a rounded individual at the end of it.

Comments

[supermother]

Working parents give children independence. I feel it's a gift mine have had - yet another benefit of being an alpha mother, working, having a career because the children are given a gift of independence, having to learn to do things for themselves etc in a way that molly coddled children of some (not all) stay at home parents don't learn. Resilience and learning to manage things, things going wrong, coping on your own, vital life skills.

[glitter_junkie]

Great story, and a good example to think about.
I agree with Supermother - my mum and nan were both housewives - although they both have had jobs, though never when raising children, neither had 'careers'. And here I am, a post grad about to be cast into the world of work. Sometimes I wonder if I can do it, and wish I'd had an example to follow.

[Lisa]

In his autobiography, Sidney Poitier talks about how, from as early as he could remember, it was his job to go and collect water from the well for the family, and about how important it made him feel; that he was making such a great contribution to his family.

[SingleParentDad]

Thanks for your reply Patricia. I agree whole-heartedly with your sentiments. Responsibility is the key, or one of them, to successful parenting.

[Maddilion]

We didn't have sweets in the house full stop, and weren't allowed to buy them from our pocket money. Sweets were a proper treat given to us in limited amounts by grandparents. Did I have a deprived childhood, no. Did I save up for things I wanted and respect them more, yes.
I did the ironing from about 10, was cooking roast dinners on my own from about 12 and love the sense of independence my parents gave me while standing by us (brother and I) and watching us flourishing and growing under their watchful gaze.
My Mum worked away from home for the week from when I was about 15/16, (very unusually she was also the main breadwinner in our household) so with my Dad also out at work every day; a lot of the ‘chores’ fell to Patrick and I to look after, I enjoyed the responsibility of looking after everyone at home, and as PA now, not much has changed with my mother-hennish role!?

[j]

why eat their sweets when you can chuck them away?

[supermother]

My 9 year olds peel potatoes every week although not every day and that's because their teenage brother makes them - if they want the food, they have to peel and it's great. They know much more about cooking than some other children. But you have to adapt these things for your own life and lifestyle.

If your parents work hard and have a good work ethic you probably will. If you're 3rd generation never had a job then it's harder to see that work ethic. Yet another reason for women to have careers too - good example to the children.

[Patricia]

At least you are saving your children's teeth by eating their sweets, but oh what about your teeth. Sorry but sweets didn't get a look in in our house, but when Mum used to come and visit when I had my children she always brought me a Flake chocolate bar as well as 2lb of sugar, a chicken and some fruit, a throw back to rationing I think. All greatly received though.

[mumoftwo]

Even worse (confession) I actually eat my children's sweeties (jelly worms, shrimps, cola bottles etc) when they go to bed. Luckily they are quite forgetful about the quantity as they don't have pocket money yet and just have what they like (unlike me, who, due to rationing, would have counted them out and have hidden them). Am I a really terrible mum (I feel sure Patricia's lovely mum would never have done something like this)?

[mumoftwo]

I was only allowed sweets once a week (with my few pennies pocket-money, though I think this was down to my mum's stinginess as this was in the '70's). I still eat children's sweeties now and love the Woolies pick and mix for exactly the same reason.

[Patricia]

Thank you singleparentdad. Mum was a very special Italian Lady and I hope you can find one just as precious but sadly no longer with us. I failed to mention that I have brought up 2 lovely children giving them the same values. So it is really down to us parents to keep up the good work that our parents and their parents did. Don't leave it to the schools, get stuck in and you will be rewarded.

[SingleParentDad]

Fantastic story, and I agree it is our job (parents) to raise well rounded individuals. I think it links well to some of the comments on the homework post. And I think I touched upon that on my own blog.

I was much luckier at home and rarely had chores, but strangely I still know the value of hard work and teamwork. I must ask my folks how they managed it.

Now all I'm wondering is if I could land myself one of these beautiful Italian work horses, that Patricia's Dad managed to snare.