Cloth nappies: too worthy for their own good?

Cloth nappies are the Mooncup of parenthood. Worthy, green and incredibly impractical.

Theoretically, these items are great. Use and reuse the silicone rubber Mooncup instead of bleached disposable tampons. Swaddle your baby's bottom in soft cotton with a colourful leak-resistant cover instead of taping on a throwaway nappy that will take 500 years to degrade once it hits the landfill. That's probably why the washable nappy is more popular now than any time since the 1970s.

Yet just as I can't see myself rinsing out my Mooncup in the office sink standing next to my editor, I couldn't commit to spending valuable time before work, after work and on the weekends administering a cloth nappy regimen.

"It's easy," proponents insist. You simply have a couple of locking buckets for putting used nappies in, you have a soaking bucket (with a few drops of essential oils), you wash them in the high temperatures and dry them overnight on the radiators. You have liners and slightly larger clothing to accommodate the bulk. There's a reason that disposable nappies were invented - because they ARE more convenient; that's true no matter how you slice the cake.

Additionally, the choice between disposable and cloth is less clearcut than it seems. Increasingly it's a choice between saving landfill or saving carbon. "A four-year study by the Environment Agency has found that the damage caused by burying nappies is matched by the electricity and water used in washing and drying them," according to this Times article.

Ultimately, my husband and I chose disposables because as two full-time working parents, we found they fit best with our family. I disliked how much rubbish we were throwing out, I used biodegradable nappies when I could. And, yes, I felt a bit guilty that I wasn't being a "good mother" by using cloth nappies.

Which really brings us to the worst thing about cloth nappies: the smug mummies who use them.

Cloth nappies have become part of a lifestyle, one that demonstrates you have a certain amount of time to commit to doing the right thing (perhaps because your family only needs one income), one that illustrates that you have really, really strong green credentials and one that shows just how devoted you are to bringing up your child the "right" way.

Not all parents who choose cloth are unbearable. I know several who can use them without trumpeting the practice as a action worthy of canonisation. But this quote from an FAQ about cloth nappies on the website of Snazzypants.co.uk, the "Real Cloth Nappy Shop", encapsulates the thinking of the other kind of parents:

"What else will you need?…a huge smile, for people who ask what you are using and you tell them proudly 'cloth, don’t you?'"

Can you imagine being encouraged to say something similar with other parenting decisions? "We're sending our child to private school, aren't you?" "We're teaching our child Mandarin, aren't you?"

As a matter of fact, I'm not.

On the other side of the fence:

10 reasons you should ditch disposable nappies

Dirty nappies to be made into roof tiles

Comments

[Sarah]

I've never had experience with reusable nappies, but I have to take issue with Mooncups and other "alternative" sanitary protection being dismissed as "worthy".

I use reusable cloth sanitary towels, and a Mooncup when I can be bothered, for one person: me.

The cloth towels in particular are FAR more comfortable than ANY disposable, they are easy to take care of and keep clean, they are way more absorbant and less prone to being smelly, and they are, long term, SO much cheaper than the disposable ones. Plus, I never have to waddle in desperation to the supermarket because I have run out only to find that they don't have any decent ones in stock and I have to wear something in my knickers that feels like it's made of cardboard. Ugh!

The issues re landfill and so on are an added incentive, but I use them because they are better than disposables, it's as simple as that. They get washed with my normal washes of clothing (requiring no hot wash or special wash at all) - the "extra" soap/water/detergent is absolutely minimal.

The only benefit to disposables is that someone else deals with them. They are more expensive, less comfortable, less effective, less convenient. People assume that they must be pretty disgusting, hard to get on with, and so on, but the reverse is true.

[Nappy Admirer]

I do agree that disposables are overall more convenient, except for the shopping trips to large supermarkets (to secure the best deal) and the huge boxes which allow one to secure the best deal and the constant bin-emptying, and the storage of the bags, in areas where only bags are only collected once a fortnight and the charges which some councils are levying for large quantities of refuse, the disgusting smell and possible health risks in changing rooms and toilets because of the excrement in the bin and and the possible alterations to the environment as a consequence of the methane generated by the huge numbers in landfill.
The study conducted by the environment agency was based upon assumptions such as; each cloth user buys 36 new terry nappies every 6 months. Ask any granny, a set of 24 terries lasts a good three children until they potty train.

[Agostinho]

It seems to me that this lady Jennifer is really opposite to any concept of environmental protection whatever it is. I just hope that her children and other children will not be like her in the future. Otherwise our planet will definitely be destroyed in the next generation.

[Eluned]

I recommend EC. It made me so much more attuned to all my babies' needs and it just feels right after a while. I read somewhere that they only invented nappies because of upholstery and carpets and before that every mother and baby did the EC thing. Don't expect it to go smoothly at first though lol.

[mmmm]

Mooncups are great, I urge you all to try one! On my heaviest day I would still use back up if I was going out for a long time, but at home and/or on all the other days I've had no problems. They are sooo much more comfortable than tampons/towels though they do require a very hands on approach which takes some getting used to. But the freedom of not having to buy/throw away loads of crap is great.

When nappies enter my life I'll let you know if I manage to keep up the green thing. I'm tempted by the idea of EC but I guess it's easy to be tempted by that sort of thing from a long distance. Anybody recommend it? Sorry, going way off topic here.

[Jan]

I used cloth diapers with my first child and with younger brother and sister (and no I'm not that old) and I never felt superior in any way as I stood over a toilet bowl using the flip and swish technique.

[Eluned]

I'd never heard of a mooncup before I just looked it up! Interesting. Never been a fan of internal sanitary products though, I use organic cotton pads myself. ^.^

I've done the disposable/cloth nappy thing alternately with my first two. Have to say I prefer the reusable kind. Disposables just feel wrong. But then I'm not a fan of nappies anyway. I don't like the thought of them sitting in their own crap until someone notices and the nappy rash was just not cool so I got into the EC thing and that worked fine for us.

[Vanessa]

Wow, I had no idea that people had different cleaning things for different jobs - I just have a kitchen spray which gets used in kitchen and bathroom, with kitchen roll. For everything.

And dishes get done in the dishwasher - I don't think I've washed up in 15 years.

[helena]

It's always worth remembering that MILs actually like knowing their DILs are hopeless house-slatterns. It's very important not to be more house-proud than they are, unless, of course, they are actually anti-houseproud in which case they need to see that their DILs are sad, dreary little hausfraus.

The key point is that they should be able not to feel threatened by you.

[mumoftwo]

Oh yes, my mum doesn't sit in judgement, just sees us for the slightly over-worked harassed messy family we are and cleans up after us when she comes (not the rest of the week obviously). However, I think it is different when a MiL comes to stay, for a start, I want to impress her, not show her how slummy I really am. However, if she moved closer and started coming round and doing the washing-up, I doubt I'd complain.

[helena]

Yes, but the hose still has to 'plug in' and it's that bit I hate, the idea that it's linked to something. And you'd have to keep changing the plug in point too. I think nothing can make me feel better about hoovering, alas, and it's the thing I'd far rather hand over to a cleaner, not that I like anyone in the house though.

[Annamac]

Central vacuuming systems exist, Helena. It's just that you would probably need to buy a new house to get one (don't suppose it is possible to install one on an older house).

[helena]

It's just that I simply can't clean things with the 'wrong' implements. My M-i-L once gave me a weird dustpan and brush set with long handles, the idea was you didnt have to stoop down to use them. I was utterly hopeless at it, like using two hockeysticks simultaneously, and gave it away. I knew I'd offended MIL but it was just cluttering up.

My SIL runs a holiday let, and if I'm there I help her clean it, but she has these dolls-house-size scouring pads (cut in half, like I said) and expects me to clean with them.

Housework is bad enough to do as it is, without having to do it with implements that send you crazy! One of my real bugbears are hoovers because you have to drag them around with you - I'd love a 'magic' one that only had the actual 'sucky bit' and the dirt got sucked up and vanished into another dimension, rather than into a clumsy great lumpy maching towing behind me like a ball and chain.

On the Mil/Mother front, it's all about power - the old adage 'Daughter am I in my mother's house, but mistress am I in my own' - when they come to stay their goal is to reverse that! (My MIL does it very politely, my mother was far more robust in telling me I was doing everything wrong.)(But I'd willingly have her back now to tell me again, and I am sure she's keeping a beady eye on me and shaking her head at me from her cloud.)

By the way, has anyone ever shared self-catering accommodation with another housewife? It's another little polite 'tug of wills' in the kitchen. The only way I've made it work is by allocating roles, or taking it in turns. One evening I'll be the chef and she the scullery maid, then vice versa. No other way of surviving!

[Lazy Mummy]

J - you mean you need to practice poking around for when you're a M-i-L? ;)

I love my M-i-L but I'm not as capable as Gipsy of knowing where things would live in her house. After 2 nannies, a cleaner, a S-i-L who lived with us for a year (including bf for a while) & numerous family long weekend visitors, I'm used to having to look in 5 different places for some things & trying to remember who was in the house last & where they put things. Takes a minute or two, but far less hassle than doing it all myself & having family to stay is always lovely (not being sarcastic).

Agreed, I don't think type of cleaning stuff tells you much at all; we tend to use green products (minimal bleach/toxins) for cleaning fluids but sponges, towels, etc. are whatever's in the store when we go, combined with old towels/teatowels/ripped up t-shirts.

[J]

mo2 there is such a difference, isnt there, between someone who can clean the place up and not make you feel small, and someone who pokes about under your sink?

I need to remember how it's done for when I am a MIL :(

[Sho]

My sisters-in-law scrubbed our flat from top to bottom when they came to vist us right after daughter #2 was born. I didn't mind in the slightest, as I got to concentrate on #1 (since #2 was also being taken care of by her doting aunts).

We used cloth nappies for both daughters, when they were very tiny we had some shaped ones, but soon moved onto terry squares, which did for both babies. We soaked in a bucket, chucked solids directly into the loo, and washed and dried every other day. (in the summer they went beautifully bleached white because of the sunshine).

With #2 I relaxed a bit when we were out and about and bought disposables - but only because they were both in nappies then and I didn't want to carry 2 wet nappies round with me if I had changed them.

With #1 I used the terry nappies all the time.

We do try to be green, but being in Gemany a lot of it is forced on us (we have 6 different bins...). Not that I'm complaining.

I was also interested in the Mooncup discussion. Now I seem to be in the throes of the menopause I probably won't bother - I wish I'd heard of them 20 years ago.

[mumoftwo]

My poor mother does partially clean my house at least once a week...she can't help herself when she sees the state we live in (and she is very kind of course)!

[B]

Oh, and to continue with the gender issue, I cannot imagine having either a mother or a mother-in-law with the slightest interest in our house's domestic cleaning arrangements...

[B]

J, I was also going to add that equipment is chosen by the housekeeper/whatever's on offer in Tesco and products are chosen according to what will not upset the septic tank's digestion, but couldn't decide if that sounded more pretentious or more worthy! Incidentally, when you have a septic tank and cannot be bleaching cloths constantly, recycled kitchen roll is perfect as it doesn't hang around gathering germs and then spreading them over work surfaces, and it decomposes nicely either in the tank or on the compost heap.

[j]

Helena I am a tad worried by the idea of having such a focus on cleaning kit, for men or women. My choice of mop tells you what was on special offer at tesco about two months ago, and what my cleaner prefers so she gets her own. Frankly I havent a clue what is there at the moment, the place is clean and that is enough.

On the soap issue, did you never think of stashing the weird green soap safely away until just *before* her next visit? ("oh it was so great, I've just replaced it, look, there's nearly a whole bar left, no, dont worry, I'll let you know when it runs out") Obviously for that to work, you do have to remember to dust it when you get it out of the cupboard ;)

[B]

Helena's "I think women can be categorised very effectively by what kind of mops they use" has made me come over all Supermother...in our house cleaning implements are not gender-specific.

[Gipsy]

Oh goodness me. I really don't like Fairy Green Soap or those green cellulose scouring things, or brillo pads. And I can't abide washing up with a brush. I use the ones with a sponge on one side and a scourer on the other, and when it has had its time washing dishes, it moves to kitchen surfaces, and from there to the bathroom, and from there to the loo. I find the blimin things last forever. For mopping up spills, I find jay cloths brilliant, and would much rather use one than a sponge (which leaves too much moisture behind). I just leave the jay cloths on top of the box containing the cleaning stuff, whereas the cleaner puts them in a bag inside the box. Either way you have to move them to get to the cleaning stuff, and my way the cloths are much easier to grab in an emergency. Most of the other changes the cleaner has made have been great, and I've adopted them as well.

My mother in law is really lovely too, and I wouldn't change her for the world. But she does like her way of doing things. And when she's been in the house, if I can't find anything I just look in the place it would have been in her house.

[Debbie]

Life is too short to spend it washing nappies, particularly when you have a baby or two. I used disposables for both mine right through, but also toilet trained before two, so they were totally out of nappies younger, rather than carrying on for another year or two as seems to be the trend.

Also where we live it is very hot and humid all the time, so didn;t want wet cloth against the babies skin causing nappy rash and bacterial infections in 5 minutes in a tropical climate.

Go disposables that's what I say!

Although on the J cloth/Kitchen towel things, we actually use old cloth nappies (yes we had one pack in case of emergencies and for general wiping up)or old worn out towels as floor clothes, which work heaps better than paper towel or J cloths.

[helena]

I don't use kitchen rolls to mop up anything as they are far too wasteful. They are good in lunchboxes for sticky fingers. I got a good idea from my own MIL who puts one on the microwave tray when she wants to heat a croissant or something like that. Stops the croissant ending up in 'something nasty' stuck on the MW tray.

It's interesting to hear your views on mops/cleaning cloths.

I think women can be categorised very effectively by what kind of mops they use. Me, I cannot abide J-cloths as they are far too flimsy and screw up to nothing at all. I hate brillo pads as they are all scratchy and nasty and go rusty in a corner of my sink. I use, but hate, bath sponges, liking them because they are big to clean a big bath with, but the scouring surface is far too wimpy, and after a mere six month's use the whole thing goes pathetically floppy and you have to throw it away and fork out for a new one.

I adore cellulose sponges, as they are just the right size and consistency for mopping, but I can only wash up with a brush. I have one of those that squeezes soap out as you use it, so I can wash under running water as I hate plastic bowls in the sink because they go all murky on the bottom side and get yukky vegetable peelings stuck to them.

I love those green scotchbrite scouring things (not the ones with sponge on the other side, though they are OK in a pinch), which are best for saucepans. My sister in law has tiny hands, and cuts them in half (the scotchbrites, not her hands), and when I am with her they are impossible to use, like something from a doll's house.

My mother loved Fairy Green Soap, which I never did, but whenever she came to stay she always bought me a huge bar saying to me 'Darling, you're out of FGS', and the wretched thing would last for ages, and only ever get used up finally just before she arrived again, which was cue for 'Darling, you're out of FGS, I've bought you a new one'.....

As for my MIL, she is a lovely, lovely lady, but she will put my serving spoons in with my desert spoons. She's done this for twenty years, and I think she'd trying to tell me something, but I don't listen.....

[Gipsy]

Actually, I've never really known what to use kitchen roll for. I don't like fatty foods, and usually grill bacon. I have a bag full of jay cloths that I've been washing and reusing for a couple of years now, and they're still holding up OK. Totally invaluable for cleaning up during potty training. Every time my mother in law comes over, she seems to leave behind a kitchen roll, and it is either still there the next time she visits, or has ended up in the bin from too many drops on the floor (I can never work out where to stick the thing either, and just get annoyed with it where I put it).

What do people use kitchen roll for? I hate seeing anything go to waste. And I've got a roll at the moment that is just going to end up raggy and in the bin too at this rate.