Cloth nappies: too worthy for their own good?

Cloth nappies are the Mooncup of parenthood. Worthy, green and incredibly impractical.

Theoretically, these items are great. Use and reuse the silicone rubber Mooncup instead of bleached disposable tampons. Swaddle your baby's bottom in soft cotton with a colourful leak-resistant cover instead of taping on a throwaway nappy that will take 500 years to degrade once it hits the landfill. That's probably why the washable nappy is more popular now than any time since the 1970s.

Yet just as I can't see myself rinsing out my Mooncup in the office sink standing next to my editor, I couldn't commit to spending valuable time before work, after work and on the weekends administering a cloth nappy regimen.

"It's easy," proponents insist. You simply have a couple of locking buckets for putting used nappies in, you have a soaking bucket (with a few drops of essential oils), you wash them in the high temperatures and dry them overnight on the radiators. You have liners and slightly larger clothing to accommodate the bulk. There's a reason that disposable nappies were invented - because they ARE more convenient; that's true no matter how you slice the cake.

Additionally, the choice between disposable and cloth is less clearcut than it seems. Increasingly it's a choice between saving landfill or saving carbon. "A four-year study by the Environment Agency has found that the damage caused by burying nappies is matched by the electricity and water used in washing and drying them," according to this Times article.

Ultimately, my husband and I chose disposables because as two full-time working parents, we found they fit best with our family. I disliked how much rubbish we were throwing out, I used biodegradable nappies when I could. And, yes, I felt a bit guilty that I wasn't being a "good mother" by using cloth nappies.

Which really brings us to the worst thing about cloth nappies: the smug mummies who use them.

Cloth nappies have become part of a lifestyle, one that demonstrates you have a certain amount of time to commit to doing the right thing (perhaps because your family only needs one income), one that illustrates that you have really, really strong green credentials and one that shows just how devoted you are to bringing up your child the "right" way.

Not all parents who choose cloth are unbearable. I know several who can use them without trumpeting the practice as a action worthy of canonisation. But this quote from an FAQ about cloth nappies on the website of Snazzypants.co.uk, the "Real Cloth Nappy Shop", encapsulates the thinking of the other kind of parents:

"What else will you need?…a huge smile, for people who ask what you are using and you tell them proudly 'cloth, don’t you?'"

Can you imagine being encouraged to say something similar with other parenting decisions? "We're sending our child to private school, aren't you?" "We're teaching our child Mandarin, aren't you?"

As a matter of fact, I'm not.

On the other side of the fence:

10 reasons you should ditch disposable nappies

Dirty nappies to be made into roof tiles

Comments

[Eluned]

I recommend EC. It made me so much more attuned to all my babies' needs and it just feels right after a while. I read somewhere that they only invented nappies because of upholstery and carpets and before that every mother and baby did the EC thing. Don't expect it to go smoothly at first though lol.

[mmmm]

Mooncups are great, I urge you all to try one! On my heaviest day I would still use back up if I was going out for a long time, but at home and/or on all the other days I've had no problems. They are sooo much more comfortable than tampons/towels though they do require a very hands on approach which takes some getting used to. But the freedom of not having to buy/throw away loads of crap is great.

When nappies enter my life I'll let you know if I manage to keep up the green thing. I'm tempted by the idea of EC but I guess it's easy to be tempted by that sort of thing from a long distance. Anybody recommend it? Sorry, going way off topic here.

[Jan]

I used cloth diapers with my first child and with younger brother and sister (and no I'm not that old) and I never felt superior in any way as I stood over a toilet bowl using the flip and swish technique.

[Eluned]

I'd never heard of a mooncup before I just looked it up! Interesting. Never been a fan of internal sanitary products though, I use organic cotton pads myself. ^.^

I've done the disposable/cloth nappy thing alternately with my first two. Have to say I prefer the reusable kind. Disposables just feel wrong. But then I'm not a fan of nappies anyway. I don't like the thought of them sitting in their own crap until someone notices and the nappy rash was just not cool so I got into the EC thing and that worked fine for us.

[Vanessa]

Wow, I had no idea that people had different cleaning things for different jobs - I just have a kitchen spray which gets used in kitchen and bathroom, with kitchen roll. For everything.

And dishes get done in the dishwasher - I don't think I've washed up in 15 years.

[helena]

It's always worth remembering that MILs actually like knowing their DILs are hopeless house-slatterns. It's very important not to be more house-proud than they are, unless, of course, they are actually anti-houseproud in which case they need to see that their DILs are sad, dreary little hausfraus.

The key point is that they should be able not to feel threatened by you.

[mumoftwo]

Oh yes, my mum doesn't sit in judgement, just sees us for the slightly over-worked harassed messy family we are and cleans up after us when she comes (not the rest of the week obviously). However, I think it is different when a MiL comes to stay, for a start, I want to impress her, not show her how slummy I really am. However, if she moved closer and started coming round and doing the washing-up, I doubt I'd complain.

[helena]

Yes, but the hose still has to 'plug in' and it's that bit I hate, the idea that it's linked to something. And you'd have to keep changing the plug in point too. I think nothing can make me feel better about hoovering, alas, and it's the thing I'd far rather hand over to a cleaner, not that I like anyone in the house though.

[Annamac]

Central vacuuming systems exist, Helena. It's just that you would probably need to buy a new house to get one (don't suppose it is possible to install one on an older house).

[helena]

It's just that I simply can't clean things with the 'wrong' implements. My M-i-L once gave me a weird dustpan and brush set with long handles, the idea was you didnt have to stoop down to use them. I was utterly hopeless at it, like using two hockeysticks simultaneously, and gave it away. I knew I'd offended MIL but it was just cluttering up.

My SIL runs a holiday let, and if I'm there I help her clean it, but she has these dolls-house-size scouring pads (cut in half, like I said) and expects me to clean with them.

Housework is bad enough to do as it is, without having to do it with implements that send you crazy! One of my real bugbears are hoovers because you have to drag them around with you - I'd love a 'magic' one that only had the actual 'sucky bit' and the dirt got sucked up and vanished into another dimension, rather than into a clumsy great lumpy maching towing behind me like a ball and chain.

On the Mil/Mother front, it's all about power - the old adage 'Daughter am I in my mother's house, but mistress am I in my own' - when they come to stay their goal is to reverse that! (My MIL does it very politely, my mother was far more robust in telling me I was doing everything wrong.)(But I'd willingly have her back now to tell me again, and I am sure she's keeping a beady eye on me and shaking her head at me from her cloud.)

By the way, has anyone ever shared self-catering accommodation with another housewife? It's another little polite 'tug of wills' in the kitchen. The only way I've made it work is by allocating roles, or taking it in turns. One evening I'll be the chef and she the scullery maid, then vice versa. No other way of surviving!

[Lazy Mummy]

J - you mean you need to practice poking around for when you're a M-i-L? ;)

I love my M-i-L but I'm not as capable as Gipsy of knowing where things would live in her house. After 2 nannies, a cleaner, a S-i-L who lived with us for a year (including bf for a while) & numerous family long weekend visitors, I'm used to having to look in 5 different places for some things & trying to remember who was in the house last & where they put things. Takes a minute or two, but far less hassle than doing it all myself & having family to stay is always lovely (not being sarcastic).

Agreed, I don't think type of cleaning stuff tells you much at all; we tend to use green products (minimal bleach/toxins) for cleaning fluids but sponges, towels, etc. are whatever's in the store when we go, combined with old towels/teatowels/ripped up t-shirts.

[J]

mo2 there is such a difference, isnt there, between someone who can clean the place up and not make you feel small, and someone who pokes about under your sink?

I need to remember how it's done for when I am a MIL :(

[Sho]

My sisters-in-law scrubbed our flat from top to bottom when they came to vist us right after daughter #2 was born. I didn't mind in the slightest, as I got to concentrate on #1 (since #2 was also being taken care of by her doting aunts).

We used cloth nappies for both daughters, when they were very tiny we had some shaped ones, but soon moved onto terry squares, which did for both babies. We soaked in a bucket, chucked solids directly into the loo, and washed and dried every other day. (in the summer they went beautifully bleached white because of the sunshine).

With #2 I relaxed a bit when we were out and about and bought disposables - but only because they were both in nappies then and I didn't want to carry 2 wet nappies round with me if I had changed them.

With #1 I used the terry nappies all the time.

We do try to be green, but being in Gemany a lot of it is forced on us (we have 6 different bins...). Not that I'm complaining.

I was also interested in the Mooncup discussion. Now I seem to be in the throes of the menopause I probably won't bother - I wish I'd heard of them 20 years ago.

[mumoftwo]

My poor mother does partially clean my house at least once a week...she can't help herself when she sees the state we live in (and she is very kind of course)!

[B]

Oh, and to continue with the gender issue, I cannot imagine having either a mother or a mother-in-law with the slightest interest in our house's domestic cleaning arrangements...

[B]

J, I was also going to add that equipment is chosen by the housekeeper/whatever's on offer in Tesco and products are chosen according to what will not upset the septic tank's digestion, but couldn't decide if that sounded more pretentious or more worthy! Incidentally, when you have a septic tank and cannot be bleaching cloths constantly, recycled kitchen roll is perfect as it doesn't hang around gathering germs and then spreading them over work surfaces, and it decomposes nicely either in the tank or on the compost heap.

[j]

Helena I am a tad worried by the idea of having such a focus on cleaning kit, for men or women. My choice of mop tells you what was on special offer at tesco about two months ago, and what my cleaner prefers so she gets her own. Frankly I havent a clue what is there at the moment, the place is clean and that is enough.

On the soap issue, did you never think of stashing the weird green soap safely away until just *before* her next visit? ("oh it was so great, I've just replaced it, look, there's nearly a whole bar left, no, dont worry, I'll let you know when it runs out") Obviously for that to work, you do have to remember to dust it when you get it out of the cupboard ;)

[B]

Helena's "I think women can be categorised very effectively by what kind of mops they use" has made me come over all Supermother...in our house cleaning implements are not gender-specific.

[Gipsy]

Oh goodness me. I really don't like Fairy Green Soap or those green cellulose scouring things, or brillo pads. And I can't abide washing up with a brush. I use the ones with a sponge on one side and a scourer on the other, and when it has had its time washing dishes, it moves to kitchen surfaces, and from there to the bathroom, and from there to the loo. I find the blimin things last forever. For mopping up spills, I find jay cloths brilliant, and would much rather use one than a sponge (which leaves too much moisture behind). I just leave the jay cloths on top of the box containing the cleaning stuff, whereas the cleaner puts them in a bag inside the box. Either way you have to move them to get to the cleaning stuff, and my way the cloths are much easier to grab in an emergency. Most of the other changes the cleaner has made have been great, and I've adopted them as well.

My mother in law is really lovely too, and I wouldn't change her for the world. But she does like her way of doing things. And when she's been in the house, if I can't find anything I just look in the place it would have been in her house.

[Debbie]

Life is too short to spend it washing nappies, particularly when you have a baby or two. I used disposables for both mine right through, but also toilet trained before two, so they were totally out of nappies younger, rather than carrying on for another year or two as seems to be the trend.

Also where we live it is very hot and humid all the time, so didn;t want wet cloth against the babies skin causing nappy rash and bacterial infections in 5 minutes in a tropical climate.

Go disposables that's what I say!

Although on the J cloth/Kitchen towel things, we actually use old cloth nappies (yes we had one pack in case of emergencies and for general wiping up)or old worn out towels as floor clothes, which work heaps better than paper towel or J cloths.

[helena]

I don't use kitchen rolls to mop up anything as they are far too wasteful. They are good in lunchboxes for sticky fingers. I got a good idea from my own MIL who puts one on the microwave tray when she wants to heat a croissant or something like that. Stops the croissant ending up in 'something nasty' stuck on the MW tray.

It's interesting to hear your views on mops/cleaning cloths.

I think women can be categorised very effectively by what kind of mops they use. Me, I cannot abide J-cloths as they are far too flimsy and screw up to nothing at all. I hate brillo pads as they are all scratchy and nasty and go rusty in a corner of my sink. I use, but hate, bath sponges, liking them because they are big to clean a big bath with, but the scouring surface is far too wimpy, and after a mere six month's use the whole thing goes pathetically floppy and you have to throw it away and fork out for a new one.

I adore cellulose sponges, as they are just the right size and consistency for mopping, but I can only wash up with a brush. I have one of those that squeezes soap out as you use it, so I can wash under running water as I hate plastic bowls in the sink because they go all murky on the bottom side and get yukky vegetable peelings stuck to them.

I love those green scotchbrite scouring things (not the ones with sponge on the other side, though they are OK in a pinch), which are best for saucepans. My sister in law has tiny hands, and cuts them in half (the scotchbrites, not her hands), and when I am with her they are impossible to use, like something from a doll's house.

My mother loved Fairy Green Soap, which I never did, but whenever she came to stay she always bought me a huge bar saying to me 'Darling, you're out of FGS', and the wretched thing would last for ages, and only ever get used up finally just before she arrived again, which was cue for 'Darling, you're out of FGS, I've bought you a new one'.....

As for my MIL, she is a lovely, lovely lady, but she will put my serving spoons in with my desert spoons. She's done this for twenty years, and I think she'd trying to tell me something, but I don't listen.....

[Gipsy]

Actually, I've never really known what to use kitchen roll for. I don't like fatty foods, and usually grill bacon. I have a bag full of jay cloths that I've been washing and reusing for a couple of years now, and they're still holding up OK. Totally invaluable for cleaning up during potty training. Every time my mother in law comes over, she seems to leave behind a kitchen roll, and it is either still there the next time she visits, or has ended up in the bin from too many drops on the floor (I can never work out where to stick the thing either, and just get annoyed with it where I put it).

What do people use kitchen roll for? I hate seeing anything go to waste. And I've got a roll at the moment that is just going to end up raggy and in the bin too at this rate.

[asilon]

Annamac - I had a couple of shaped nappies, but most of mine were prefolds (flat cotton rectangle, lots of layers inside it) or terries. And now they live in a big pile under the sink and get used instead of kitchen roll. Oh yes, I'm such a martyr, and so 'lucky' that I only work part-time, that I can spend my time washing my dirty cloths and thinking about how wonderful I am. Or not ;-)

[Annamac]

I don't think many people are opting to use the old-fashioned terry squares, Helena. From what I can gather (and I'm sure people will correct me if I'm wrong), washable nappies are shaped and sized - i.e. they are fancy absorbent pants. Hence the high initial financial outlay. Agree about the usefulness of terry squares, though. I have some that I inherited from somewhere, and though I never used them as nappies, I use them for lots of other mopping up jobs for which a muslin just wouldn't be absorbent enough. I have one with a hole cut in the middle which makes a particularly fine bib for a very small toddler with a big ice cream :-)

[helena]

BOB: Perhaps the concept of 'doing without for the sake of the planet or your family' is a rather alien one to Jennifer Howze...

I do dislike this constant b*tching about the 'other camp' of mums that the column writers seem to indulge in, whichever camp they personally happen to be in. I know they are journalists and therefore professional wind-up merchants, but's very tiresome and childish to make those kind of snide, carping b*tchy comments.

There is a genuine debate to be had as to whether the total environmental cost is higher for disposables vs terries (as they were called in my day!), because of all the hot water and detergents that terries need. But sniping at smug mothers is hardly helping such a debate.

One bonus from terries, by the way, is that they make excellent sweat cloths for the gym once your baby no longer needs them. Just the right size.

[elle-zo]

god, Jennifer Howze, turn down the mega-b*tch factor a notch or ten why don't you?

You'll give yourself an ulcer with all that rancor and bitterness

[Baggofbones]

I would love to use a Mooncup, but the Mooncup people have advised against it (apparently severe complications while giving birth aren't compatible with Mooncups. Boo hoo.)

We bought a whole heap of cloth nappies before our son was born, and sold them on Ebay not long afterwards. Great idea; not so great in practice (especially with aforementioned complications rendering me immobile for some weeks...)

Slightly different point, but: did anyone else find this comment even slightly offensive in Jennifer Howze's piece? ("Cloth nappies have become part of a lifestyle, one that demonstrates you have a certain amount of time to commit to doing the right thing (perhaps because your family only needs one income)")

I should think that most normal (i.e. non-megabucks-earning) families "need" two incomes, but some families are prepared to go without the things they "need" because they feel that family life works better that way. I felt this was a rather snide comment, and rather insulting to people who have given up their incomes for whatever reason. It certainly doesn't strengthen JH's argument!

My own experience is that cloth-nappy-users do not bang on about using cloth nappies any more than disposable-nappy-users bang on about disposables. On the whole, we all have more interesting things to talk about than nappies!

[Lazy Mummy]

Here in the US, there are cloth diaper services in some urban areas; we tried it but the quality of the nappies is actually really crap - they're not v. absorbent at all (memories of my brother in the '80s & terry towelling nappies used in our family). Our baby got really bad nappy rash using the cloth ones so we switched to disposable (the "green" unbleached ones with fewer chemicals). Yes, we feel some guilt about this, but you have to do what works for you. If we have a second one, we'll probably try the cloth options again - there are some better designs available even just a few years later than there were then.

[Annamac]

I considered using washables the first time around, but back then I lived in a house with no central heating and no tumble drier. Just getting the clothes dry in winter was bad enough. These days I believe there are nappy laundry services you can use, but I daresay it costs. The second time around my circumstances were entirely different, but sadly very stressful and I really didn't fancy adding the task of nappy washing into what was already an overfull day. Also, the initial financial outlay seemed like a lot at the time, especially as I knew I wouldn't be having any more children and so wouldn't be able to reuse the nappies.

[Eve]

Cloth is increasingly a fashion statement. Not really a criticism and they are very attractive; but does blow the "cheapness" argument out the water.

[Indith]

I have a mooncup. I use cloth. I don't think that they are part of my lifestyle, nor do I spread the word about them, I mean how often does your choice of sanitary protection come up in conversation? Do you routinely compare nappy choices with other parents? If someone asks me about cloth due to interest then of course I'll tell them about it but that is all (and it has happened that I've been asked by a total stranger in a changing room). Why tar us all with the same brush? The vast majority of cloth and mooncup users are perfectly normal people who do not see converting others to cloth as their main purpose in life.

[Stephanie]

Just wondering why the pic accompanying this article had to be a toddler in a dispo!! A lovely cuddly cloth bum would've looked MUCH better!
(And yes, we use cloth nappies..and a mooncup..and washable san pro, bum wipes, face wipes..I could go on!)

[Gipsy]

oooh how bizarre, that's one reason why I don't like using tampons too. I thought it was just me. I mostly only use them if I'm going swimming or have run out of pads.

I also hate putting them in - the feeling is just ugh. Which is strange as I never felt that way about using a diaphram.

[asilon]

Gipsy, the thing that amazed me, was that all the testimonials saying how the women *felt* better, turned out to be true for me. I still got cramps, but a certain 'dragging' ache just disappeared. Wonderful things. I don't proselytize about cloth nappies, but I'll recommend Mooncups to everyone!

[Wendy V]

The Mooncup is brilliant. Been using one for about 5 years, never needed to replace it, and have saved a fortune on tampons. I'm a total convert.

[Gipsy]

I really like the idea of a mooncup and am thinking of getting one. I don't think they sound gross at all. No more or less gross than tampons or pads.

[Melissaria]

(I meant utterly unconvinced - MUST proof-read...)

[Melissaria]

Cloth nappies are very easy to use. I'm also utterly convinved by the arguments about energy used to wash them etc. When set against the energy and resources used to manaufacture disposables, pacakage them, transport them to the supermarkets etc, etc...it simply doesn't make sense. Especially if you use Ecoballs or similar to wash.

What the cloth nappy promoters don't tell you though is that it is a pain in the bum (no pun intended) finding clothes that fit over them. You buy them with the idea of saving some money and then find out that Cut4Cloth and Wilkinet charge £25 for one pair of dungarees!

We manage with a mixture of cloths and disposables. It's never been a problem.

Oh, and sorry to be grim, but it's far, far easier to dump a poo filled nappy liner down the loo than to scrape the contents off a disposable...

[La poule]

Well I try not to be annoyingly smug, but I do use cloth nappies (even though my husband and I work full time too) and a mooncup (which is completely amazing, and that every woman should consider, just because it is so comfortable and convenient and better for your body, regardless of environment). To compare cloth diapers and disposable, you have to take into account how they are made: a lot of energy and water are used to make disposable diapers. And bleaching and such are very polluting too. So if you look from beginning to end, cloth is more ecological.

[asilon]

So, dealing with your own normal healthy clean menstrual blood is "gross", whereas someone else's urine and excrement is fine? We do indeed live in a twisted world.

[Chris]

What's all the fuss about regarding the time it takes to use washables? I bunged mine in a bin, when the bin was full in a 60 degree wash and then in the tumble drier. About one minute's work. The folding of the washed nappies did take some time - but so does going to the shops to buy disposables.
Mooncup however - that just sounds gross!

[supermother]

In 1983 disposables didn't work very well and often leaked. We therefore used cloth nappies. At one point in about 1988 we had 3 children in cloth nappies at night. The children's father was actually in charge of them (as we both worked full time and like most couples we divided up various jobs between us). That was a lot of nappies and the drying was a problem too as a tumble drier was too expensive to run but we managed. It was certainly not on environmental grounds and the jury is out on that anyway. With the twins we used disposables.

[j]

oh dear...I do realise that I have grown up during the explosion of un-green and irresponsible thinking, so I must have some things I am due to rethink and do differently. The thought of the mooncup for some reason is not at all what I fancy.

Is it OK if I give up the car instead, till I hit the menopause? it can't be long now...

[asilon]

Yeah, a mooncup is definitely practical, and if you have to empty it in a public toilet, you can give it a wipe and put it back. Much easier than cloth nappies :)

I used diposables with my first and second, and was experimenting occasionally with degradable ones for the 2nd. Then I got a Keeper (US version of the mooncup) and tried using cloth pads. So much better than disposable sanpro (which feels absolutely horrible now if for some reason I end up using it), that I couldn't bring myself to use disposables for the 3rd and 4th.

I agree about the lifestyle bit though. It's not been so bad lately, but I've seen so many messages on home education email lists and boards that start off, "I had a home birth, didn't vax, use cloth nappies, co-sleep, do extended breastfeeding, carry it everywhere in a sling, etc, so now obviously I want to home educate" - duh! FFS people, think for yourselves.

[Lucy]

My naughty little brother once broke free of his nappy (he was two, with chicken-pox, in his defence) and ran into the garden, there to depoist a neat pile of poo by the swing. If only we'd been twenty years later - Mum could proudly have said, 'But mine poop under trees - don't yours?'

Brilliant article; v. funny and interesting to consider the downside of all that washing of terry nappies!

[Sarah]

I don't think the Mooncup is impractical at all, if anything one of the reasons I prefer it is that it's so much more convenient than the alternatives, not to mention more comfortable. You can also leave it in for up to 12 hours, so unless you work unreasonably long days, you should be able to avoid changing it at work. You can also empty it and reinsert without rinsing if you have to.

Does anyone here use cloth (reusable) menstrual pads? I don't really like pads at all, but I think these have to be more comfortable than the awful chafing disposable ones. I imagine it's the same for babies with nappies, the soft cloth ones cause less irritation and rash than the disposables.

It's an individual decision, of course, but really I don't see why resuable nappies have to be such an impossibly huge chore. I think the key issue with this (and the mooncup etc) is that some people just don't like the idea of it, and so will come up with any number of reasons that they can't do it (just as 'I don't have time to cook/exercise/whatever generally means 'I don't like it, so am not prepared to make the time'). Which is fair enough, but if you do like the idea, I think it's possible for most people to make it work, so don't be put off and convinced that it's impossible!

[Gipsy]

Jennifer, you had me laughing out loud about your comment re: washing the mooncup in the sink. I realise now that you meant the basin in the loo but for a minute or two I had an image of the Times' journo's using the sink in the office kitchen for washing hands etc after going to the loo.

One thing with the mooncup - you can leave it in for a lot longer than a tampon. Most places do have at least one loo (usually the accessible ie disabled one) with its own basin.

We used disposables all the way through. I would have loved to have used washables. All my friends in NZ do. But then, all homes (or very nearly all) have a utility/washouse seperate so you can have a soaking, washing, drying regime going with reasonable ease.

I feel guilty about the amount of waste we've added to, but as a mum I find there's so much to feel guilty about I'm beginning to be a bit numb to most of it now.