Would you have sex with your husband every day?

I've just found this site called Mommytrack'd, which hits all the right working mum buttons. They have an anti-princess reading list and pieces about topics such as why Americans should watch Tori Spelling's show and Random Acts of Rudeness. But I think my recent favourite is an entry on a new book by a woman who has sex with her husband every night for year.

Have you heard about this book, 365 Nights? It’s about a woman who gave her husband, for his fortieth birthday, the “gift” of sex every night for an entire year. FYI, it’s not a novel. It’s non-fiction. As in, there really is an actual woman - with children – who had sex with her husband every single night for an entire year. When I first heard about it, my immediate reaction was oh, God, I hope my husband doesn’t hear about this.

Which was my reaction as well. Read the full post here.

Comments

[j]

You are all very very nice and I have enjoyed it so much- I have only come back as I didnt say thank you for the other kind things properly and now I find there are more! thank yuo all for being so kind.

I think I will try school gate out for a bit, depending on what they post. Yes, I've missed Caitlin too.

[mumoftwo]

Oh, J, I am sorry, you are a great contributor with a very sane and humorous take on things, but I do understand how you feel. I do like the mix of topics (not enough actually about working mums though) however, the community aspect is not really there any more and perhaps never can be whilst the posts are very public (unless you like confessing the details of your love life to millions). If you find another great place to hang out, let us know.

[tsk]

I too have been lurking for some time now, and will greatly miss J's contributions. If you are all thinking of hopping to another site, please make it known to those of us that are kept sane during the 4am feedings by your posts!

[LM]

J,

Thanks for that. I agree, that's not good (especially when, I believe, comments were made by Jen that if people wrote with questions/feedback, they would get a response).

Is there anywhere else on the web that you'll be for intelligent conversation?

All the best.

[Lurker]

I have been lurking here for a while, and enjoy reading J's comments as they are rather inciteful and interesting.

Jennifer Howse, please show the courtesy of responding, and J, remember it isn't just Jennifer Howse's blog (though it feels like it at the moment): one day soon Caitlin will return (how long is she going to be on "staycation"?!)

[j]

I have popped back to say, I hope you all have fun.

I do have to go, not because of the COP so much, but because I emailed Jen two or three times politely over six months, and I posted as few polite questions as well over the same period, and not once has she done me the basic courtesy of any reply. I dont feel after being deliberately ignored for so long, without even the simple courtesy of a reply, that I can support her blog any more.

[LM]

KM, I thought that might be the case. Well, pass on my best wishes to her (I think you sometimes have contact with her outside of AM).

[KM]

Can I just say that J is I think gone for good, which is a great pity?

[LM]

But on this occasion I'm going to be boring & say "What Gipsy Said" because I think she's right. I've been posting on AM for a long time (since about the beginning - though initially in a different guise) and haven't seen cliquey behaviour from J or KM or Gipsy (for that matter).

Seriously J, hope you return - if not, I hope to catch you elsewhere on the internet (maybe I'll pop over to mumsnet & see if you're still there - though I find it a bit overwhelming).

[Gipsy]

LOL Lucy - I didn't mean it to sound like I thought we didn't agree. I often think exactly the same thing myself, and of course you can't just post 'me too', that would be boring :)

[Lucy]

(For the record, Gipsy, I quite often read your posts and think 'yep, what she said'. Hence the lack of interaction.)

[Franziska]

I have been with my other half for nearly ten years now and only the other day we realised that we still have sex about 5-6 times a week. I never even thought about this being unusual. Ok, we don't have kids, but we both have a hectic job and quite a social life but we make sure to always have time for some frolicking, whether it's in the kitchen, in the lounge or indeed in the bedroom.

[Gipsy]

K, you sound familiar?

As this is a blog and not a discussion forum like Mumsnet, my posts aren't generally in conversation but just a comment on the piece in question or on other comments. I'm not nearly in the same league as KM or J when it comes to being fairminded and balanced in my posting, so perhaps I am a little biased.

I would say though that you're completely wrong to level such an accusation at KM or J. I don't think there is a clique'y bone in either of their bodies. They respond to people based on their comments, and never do so based on who is doing their commenting. I do not think it is in either of them to be exclude people in the way you are suggesting.

Also, you know, Delilah never responds to any of my comments, nor do I respond to hers on the whole, simply because that is the way it works out. I don't think Delilah is excluding me or that I am excluding her - I think that she has viewpoints that are so different from mine and vice versa there's nothing either of us say that the other one wants to comment on! In the same way Kim and I hardly ever have any exchanges and ditto Lucy. But I always love reading what everyone here on AM has to say for the most part.

[Christine]

My husband and I have been married for 6 years now, and we have sex between 3-4 times a week. Like every couple I imagine, we hit a small bump in the road when sex became slightly mechanical and more part of the routine than something either of us waited impatiently for! Hence when I see this 365 day sex gift, I'm not sure it’s a gift per-say. Its as if I were able to buy a pair of Louboutin stilettos every day for a year. Granted, that to me, slipping my feet into brand new pair of louboutins can cause an immediate emotional orgasm, however I wonder how long my orgasmic delirium would last should something so special become so common in my life. Take the diamond industry for example… what is the difference between Crystal and Diamond? One is common the other is incredibly 'rare'. (I put that in parentheses due to the fact that it isn't rare at all, just controlled by the worlds handful diamond mining and distribution companies, but I digress!!)
Now please don't misunderstand me, I think I would shrivel up and die if I didn't have sex at least twice a week, but doing it everyday would (in my eyes!) make it less of a luxury and more of a chore (eventually!). I enjoy playing hard to get, or delaying our next encounter in the bedroom. Being spontaneous to me is what really makes things exciting. How can you be spontaneous if you're having sex everyday? There's only so many rooms in the house!

[Lucy]

Personally, I don't care who knows what about my sex life, or much else, and it wouldn't be hard for anyone who knew me to cut through the cunning alias of my real name - but J's point is that this is a forum where people share some often very personal information, and many don't realise it might be made more public - eg., written into a mainstream article as opposed to hidden in the mass of comments on a blog. If you're X, who comments that she's just had an abortion, or Y who can't have babies, you perhaps don't want to see your own words quoted back at you without warning.

[Patchouligirl]

My husband wouldn't know what to do with sex every night for a year. He'd honestly rather sleep most nights.

[D]

Have to say I agree with you K. This is a public blog on a newspaper site. If you don;t want something to be public, don't post it. We are all intelligent women, lets not be naive in thinking we can say something "off the record" and they won't use it. Silence is golden if you are worried about what use your words might be put to.

[Kim]

Well, K, that was a helpful comment, wasn't it? J is one of the most interesting and likeable posters on Alphamummy, and now she's buggered off. Great.

[j]

K, thanks for that, though we try to answer other people too. But I take your point, AM is not for me, so I will be off.

Have fun.

Actually, you know, it's not me I'm worried about. I never posted on either of the original threads. I was worried about other, sleep deprived, postnatally vulnerable people.

[K]

Seriously J, get over yourself. You're posting your opinions (anonymously) on a public blog, which is accessible from pretty much anywhere in the world - and you're concerned about privacy?? If you don't want your opinions to be read/reproduced, then don't post.

I note that AM has just posted some T&Cs, can't wait to hear your complaints about those....

I used to love AM, but more and more its becoming an "in-crowd" where the regulars (Gipsy, KM, J) only answer or acknowledge each other's posts. A bit like Mumsnet.....

[j]

Thank you Lucy and LM. That's kind of you. The main thing we wanted is missing, though. The Times wont let us say that we dont want something reused elsewhere, so whatever we post, they can reuse without permission in the paper. Just so you guys who are posting about your sex lives know...

[LM]

J - T&Cs have just (today) been posted. Hope you come back soon.

[Lucy]

J, I see where you're coming from, and I think it is damn rude that you're not getting an answer, but I would be sad not to hear your take on things any more, I've really enjoyed reading what you have to write.

[j]

OK that's 24 hours and as usual, no reply.

I was happy to carry on posting, as Jen had promised a code of practice, but her continued refusal to reply to any of my questions on this, or to do as she promised back in- what, May?- leads me to wonder if it was a purely cynical exercise to keep us all quiet without doing anything.

If not, Jen, please clarify.

Until then, I may lurk but I shan't post and I am sure all will carry on just fine without me.

No permission granted, Jen, for the reproduction of any of my comments in any format whatsoever.

[Lucy]

[Ahem. From my no doubt extensive knowledge, that is. Oh, I do lecture.]