Scared of "Big School".

Not Dora. She went off for her first day at junior school with a cheery, "It will be nerve-wracking, but exciting also." No - me. I've been used to being top-dog at the Infants school. We were the Big Parents - looking down on the nervous, scuttling, amateur parents in Reception and Year One with pity. We were cock of the walk at Infants. God, we knew where the adult-sized toilets were. We so knew where the adult-sized toilets were. We knew where to go to blag spare Lost Property cardigans, could greet the dinner-ladies by name, and get let in by the care-taker with just a nod of greeting. And we totally ruled the bench by the gate. No other, younger, more jejune parents dared sit on it.
Now Dora's gone up to junior school, however, I'm back to square one again. I feel like - well, a kid on its first day at school. I haven't got a clue where her class-room is. Other, big, more insouciant parents - parents of kids in years as dazzlingly high as Year 7 - sit on the benches. They know where to go to give in the dinner money. I'm so bewildered and intimidated I'm seriously considering bottling it, giving the envelope to Dora, and just telling her to sort it out, instead. I'm too old to slowly work my way through another hierarchy - gaining new friends, consolidating power-bases, avoiding rogue cliques and working out who it's permissable to bitch about - again. Maybe I'll just veto the whole palavar, and home-school her, instead.
Pending that, however - one other thing. The Junior school uniform. It's black mary-janes with knee-length grey socks. Am I so wrong to want to buy similar for myself? I'M ONLY 33 FOR GOD'S SAKE.

Comments

[LM]

Christine- my apologies, you have answered this before!

Personally, I'm fine up to about 3 inches and start having problems above that. I think a part of it is I'm always rushing, wherever I go, and like Sho, I'm a Yorkshire lass by birth & upbringing and despite spending two decades in the city, my natural inclination is towards long strides, which get curtailed by really high heels. So, I just need to stop being a wimp & start wearing those 4" heels and learn to be a few minutes earlier, not rush.

(I think it was SM who said she could run after twin toddlers in her high heeled stilletos - that's pretty astounding to me).

The boots sizing thing is really annoying isn't it? I would have expected someone with your shape to have no problems, but I do think the definition of "knee-length" is based on someone with short legs. As I said, I'm not tall, but I have long legs & they never come up to my knees.

[Sho]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/A3724977

if only I knew how to make that a clickable link

[Sho]

There's a rather fab article on h2g2 about how to walk in really high heels. I'll see if I can find it.

[Christine]

LM,

You have asked me before, but I don't mind! ;-)
Its just a question of practicing. Wearing high heels to do chores around the house, or if you need to drive somewhere to pick up the little ones in nursery, wear the higher heels than your comfortable with.... well, perhaps not when picking up the little ones! I think I've already mentioned before I end up having to kick them off and run after my 2 year old.
Do mundane things, away from prying eyes until you're more comfortable walking in your vertiginous heels. Then use them when you're going out to a restaurant (and being driven the whole way, so you only really need to walk from your table to the car). Eventually they become second nature.

Of course, having big feet is also an unfair advantage, and I'm a size 8! lol

As for boots, I have the exact opposite problem. I have long legs, and my calves are skinny! So most boots look ridiculous on me, like my two year old wearing his father's work shoes. :-(

[Sho]

Oh streamline... and multitask. So that means for me:

Everything has a place. If it's not in it's place it is because it is being washed/cleaned or someone didn't do what they were supposed to. The rule in our house is: you are not allowed to move other people's things (unless it's a parent moving a rucksack off the middle of the stairs, or something)

I am very strict on this because I am very keen on being able to grab and go. This rule extends to things which seem petty, and believe me I get nagged to death about reminding people of this (but the family admit that it works. This means: never put a bag down without making sure that the zips are done up - so if you have to pick it up in a hurry, everything doesn't fall out. Shoes are left on the shoe rack, with the laces undone (or straps undone) or whatever so we don't spend 30 seconds undoing knots.

Etc etc

And really, I do think I sound petty and nasty - but the schadenfreude when they miss the buss because they had to undo laces, put everything back in the rucksack and then run upstairs for the nth time is great. That lasts until I remember that I then have to drive them to school and i get That Face And Go Shouty.

:-)

Ironing: I do it whenever I watch the TV (haha) or a film. Washing: we have 2 laundry baskets. They are either outside the bathroom waiting for dirty clothes, or by the washer waiting to go in. (that's why there are 2) No excuses. If it's not in the basket it's not washed. If it's grubby - well, you don't wear it to school.

If you don't put your clothes out the night before the worst will happen: Mummy will get clothes out when she comes in to check you before she goes to bed. (that really is a huge threat)

Our girls also take a small bottle of water to school. Because we're such greenies (and I'm a thrifty Yorkshire lass) we invested in those metal ones, which only get water in them (less time spent scrubbing foul juice out of them) If they're not by the fridge in the morning - you go thirsty.

The reason we have all this "rules & routine" is that since i had children I am forgetful. And since we don't like getting up early, we stick to it more or less. This means also that weekends are pretty much free to do what we want (mostly involving cycling and swimming) and we make sure that every night unless really unavoiadable, I read to the Gruesome Twosome before they sleep.

And I'm still really stressed and never feel that I'm on top of things!!! Which is the only thing that saves me from feeling that I'm like some kind of 3rd world dictator.

[Weaselwords]

Ooops, x-post LM. Sorry, don't know about the length issue with the Duo boots. I'm a small person with ridiculously wide feet (not calves), so have only paid attention to the width issue.

[Weaselwords]

LM, sadly Duo are based in the UK, but do ship to the "Rest of the World" :-). See Duoboots.com. Am quite fancying the over-the-knee biker boots myself. (Although to be frank I would probably look like a superannuated principal boy, so best not go there...)

[mumoftwo]

I think high heels with a strap across (ankle or across the front) are really great and have been wearing them for years (not necessarily Mary Jane's which are quite rounded at the toe which I do like but weren't ''in' for ages) You look sexy, get the height, but can still run in them and it stops them looking too predatory... unless of course, that's your intention!

[LM]

Thanks, Sho & Mo2.

No school lunches where we are so usually whichever of us is taking her to school is making lunch while we're eating breakfast/making our own lunches (we're very big on the packed lunch in our house; work cafeterias just don't quite do it). Lunch is usually sandwich, carrots, fruit, so not too hard. I need to shower in the evening more though - that would help - as would not trying to throw laundry in at the same time (and cleaning up for the cleaner - don't even ask).

The real challenge is that we have more hours with our daughter now than when we had a nanny which is great in that we like spending that time with her, but hard in that the extra time used to be our exercise time; still trying to work out where that goes in the schedule.

I like the spreadsheet idea. I sometimes think my home life would be far smoother if I project managed it like I do my work life (though my husband doesn't react well to being herded).

Sho - on the long enough boots, I have the same problem. I'm only average height, but with short torso & very long legs, and I find it really hard to get boots that come up to my knees. They usually stop mid-calf for me (which is partly why the width is an issue too), so now I'm off to check out Duo. Weaslewords - do you know if they do things by length as well as width? (Just looked at their website & it's promising).

[mumoftwo]

LM, I also think the trick is to minimise what you have to do (or put on the chart!) So my daughter initially wanted a lunchbox like many of the others and a packed lunch, but that's an extra twenty minutes rinsing and scraping out dead bananas every night and preparing sandwiches, having the food in etc. So I told her that she would be having school lunches, which in our area are really nice freshly cooked meals which can be purchased online for a whole term in twenty seconds...She didn't fuss, just has been eating them the past few days and is really happy with this, even though initially she thought you had to have a lunchbox to be a proper schoolgirl. So, I'd streamline everything, all shirts ironed on Sun, all placed in 'the place' for school stuff where things get returned to every night too, then all you have to do is get them up, dressed (in the stuff already there) and eating breakfast. That's not to say disasters don't happen along the way, but the less you have to do in a hurry, the better.

[LM]

Duo? Never heard of 'em. I'm in the US - where are they based?

[Sho]

LM the key to your situation, I think is (and I hate to admit that I have mine on an Excel spreadsheet that I schlepp around on a USB stick) is to make a huge chart.

You need just to have days of the week listed along the top - or down the side - and the things that need doing along the bottom (or the top) or down the side. If you can put little pictures in the squares the children will soon learn to consult the chart to see what's wat.

As for the mornings - it's a hard lesson. I shout it every day at people who speed up behind me, overtake dangerously and generally act as though they are going to be late for work. The key is...

get up half an hour before you really have to.

We have our morning routine cracked now - we get up at 6:30 and the Gruesome Twosome are at the bus-stop for their bus at 7:27. (and very occasionally I have managed to get up an hour before that and go for a run. But I don't like to admit to doing that too often).

Boot tips... can anyone show me a style that comes right up to the knee? (and now I have learned to walk in high heels... they could have up to 4" of heel on them)

[Weaselwords]

LM, have you looked at Duo ("made to measure fit in 21 calf sizes")?

[LM]

Please do, Sho!

We are struggling with the new routine (pre-school, not nanny) and getting out in the mornings is turning into the scramble my mother always had with us, though different in that I only have one child (she had more), but have to be presentable for work (which she didn't).

Evenings are similarly varied. One issue, I think, being that neither me nor spouse have routine jobs with set hours/schedules and flexibility has pros and cons. So when there are different people picking up & dropping off the child every day at slightly different times, it's just hard to manage.

Christine - I think I asked this before, but how, seriously, do you walk in 5 inch heels? I have a hard time in 3 inch ones!

On another shoe-related note, does anyone else have a hard time finding knee-length boots to fit their calves? I have large-ish calves & really need a new pair of black knee-length boots (the old ones being pretty old & beaten up & unlikely to survive another round at the cobblers). The problem being I want something with about a 3 inch heel and with a square toe. I find most of the "extended calf" ones are really frumpy. Any suggestions? (I more or less live in boots in the winter).

[Lisa]

Thanks for the tips Christine. I did find a website called Maryjanes.co.uk, which is useful.

[Sho]

I don't have stilettoes but they are quite high (nearly 4 inches...) and... I have them in Brown and Black.

*shows off nicely turned ankle*

My routine is ruthless in that I stick to it if nobody else does. That doesn't mean, however that I do it every single week. I sometimes let a week slip - and because it's generally so routine, it doesn't mean the end of the world. (and mostly my routine is get home - do 30 minutes basic housework then flop in front of the idiot box with a book)

The morning routine is so finely tuned that if we get up even 5 minutes later than usual it throws us all into confusion. But then my military background allows for us to be ready "5 minutes before a parade"

P'raps I should write a book!!

[Rachel]

If you want super cheap, New Look had some a while ago.

[Christine]

Lisa, that depends on how high you want the heel to be. If you're going for the 3 inch range, than LK Bennett do some lovely black patent mary janes. They definitely had some last season, not sure whether there are any available now. Though I would imagine Mary Jane styles to be more prominent during Autumn/Winter collections. If you're looking for higher and racier stilettos 9 (i.e. 4 inches), then Office and Kurt Geiger have some gorgeous ones. I've noticed also a lot of platform Mary Janes out there in the high-streets, but I really dislike platform shoes (very rarely do I buy a pair,) And of course, if you have a serious lack of respect for your ankles and enjoy the perpetual feeling of vertigo, as I do, then YSL and Louboutin have 5 inch mary janes. So, you're spoilt for choice. I'll have a proper look tomorrow and give you a more detailed list! I've been meaning to go browsing the past couple of weeks but have been unbearably busy!

[Gipsy]

Mary Jane's have stilettos? They're starting to sound kinky.

I remember once when step son was about 12 coming home one Friday and announcing very excitedly and with great joy that he 'had something for me', before racing off to get it. I was thrilled - for a 12 year old boy to think of a parent at all is a big thing let alone get them something. He came racing back into the room holding his .... PE bag triumphantly. He was chuffed to bits that he'd finally, after months of nagging, remembered to bring his kit home on the day he'd worn it and not mouldy and encrusted after several days in his locker.

[Lisa]

Man, all this talk of Mary Jane stilletos is making me think they'd be perfect for work. Any advice on where to get a pair? (and not Christian Louboutin, Jimmy Choo etc., unless someone is willing to sponsor).

Caitlin may just have kicked off a whole new fashion trend.

[nicky]

Lol at Sho's eyebrows on Sunday, bathroom cleaning on Monday routine. :-D

I'd actually quite to be that organised, but there's not a hope. Ours is the sort of house where if I bother to make a plan, everyone else changes it anyway. Still, the upside is that I just leave Son to sort out his dinner money, PE kit etc, and it's his fault if he forgets something. Seems to work.
(He's in year 7 btw, not the Infants! I did used to help a bit then, honest.)

And I don't think I've owned a pair of Mary-Janes in my life. I'm obviously not a proper girl at all.

[Sho]

I'm feeling quite disappointed now - I'd forgotten that one!

[Gipsy]

Oh. I thought that term had gone out with the 60s!

[Rachel]

It's not rude - it means cannabis/marijuana. Get it?!

[Sho]

Gipsy, I bet you 50p it's rude...