Top ten sporting phobias

Very interesting report by Alexandra Frean in today's paper. According to a sports lecturer at Loughborough University, many children are put off sport for life by highly competitive team sports at school. The reports suggests that more individual activities, such as skating and gymnastics, should be encouraged to help build the confidence of less sporty pupils.

This seems like a lot of common sense to me: at school I was terrible at things like hockey and netball because I was quite shy, very miopic and not a little mal-co, which mean I was always dropping the ball or hitting it in the wrong place, resulting in embarrassment on my part and frustration on behalf of my team-mates (obviously I am using the word frustration as a euphemism here: they wanted to string me up). Swimming and cycling, however, I loved, because it didn't really matter if I was slower than the rest.

In my case, I hated sport so much at school it took years for me to eventually join a gym and get back to doing some exercise. Now I do loads of pilates and cycle, neither of which are spectator sports. Anyway, here, just for a laugh, are my top ten sporting phobias.

1. People who shout "let's max this one" when you're having trouble breathing, let alone shouting.

2. Friends who go jogging in the rain on a Sunday afternoon when all normal people are watching TCM.

3. Any sport that has to be played in a bikini.

4. High-fives at the end of an otherwise genteel pilates class.

5. Competitive yoga bunnies. The whole point of yoga is that it's a non-competitive activity. So stop showing off your back-bends, honey: no one's interested.

6. People who swim up your rear in pools. Neither of us is Michael Phelps, okay? Now get out of my gusset.

7. Competitive tennis dads whose three-year-olds carry top-end racquets and are dressed in perfect tennis whites.

8. Parents who encourage their children to mow down other people's (slightly slower and slightly distracted) children in pursuit of a ball.

9. Any sport where a theoretically innocuous piece of equipment can become a lethal weapon: hockey, baseball, lacrosse.

10. The mother's race at sports day. And the crazy lady who wins it.

Comments

[CS]

I hated PE with a passion as I was rubbish at it, I was always the last to be picked for teams. I was good at academic stuff but not sport and it always used to bring my end of term reports down...leading to more resentment. My form elected me as Games Captain for the term just to annoy the PE staff! Whereas my husband was good at sport at school and really enjoyed it...I'm hoping that my daughter has not inherited my bad hand-eye coordination!

[Gipsy]

I played hockey for a while at school. At the age of 12. We were told we could pick hockey or netball, and so thoroughly sick of netball as we all were (it is a staple sport in NZ) we all signed up for hockey. So then they made us play netball too as there weren't enough for a netball team.

And this wasn't PE! This was after school sports. It meant I spent a miserable winter playing netball on Saturday mornings (which unlike rugby NEVER got canceled, even though playing it on icy tarmac slick with rain was far more dangerous), and then had to go play hockey in the afternoon. Our team was so incredibly bad at hockey - or rather I should say our front row was so bad, that our goalie and half back ended up repping for the regional side (they were the only thing between us and utter, utter, utter humiliation. They got a lot of practice).

[Sho]

Gipsy, I didn't take that as a stomp - or attempted stomp, you ought to see my muscles after a weekend full of sport ;-)

I would love to play recreational hockey and/or cricket. No chance unfortunately, and I'm useless at football(soccer) which is taken very very seriously here and i wouldn't stand a chance.

My point with the "only" silver - is that at the top level it is too easy to say "well, we did our best". I'm not saying that i don't want our sportspeople not to do their best, but I want them to be at least a bit disappointed (my pet theory is that our team did so well at the olympics this year because as a nation we are learning to win as opposed to learning how to be good losers)

I think the Alpha Mummies probably know enough about me from this thread to see that I like that attitude in sport.
:-)

At one of the parents' evenings I attended last week the sports teacher made a special plea to make sure that we send the children to school with the correct kit for sports lessons. One thing is that sport is healthy, but the other is that they are on the look out for natural talent. If they spot a good swimmer/runner/discus thrower they will talk to the parents and try to put them in contact with a local club to nurture the talent.

But it also means that all children get a go at most things and the ones who really have talent won't just be picking the teams and leaving the uncoordinated children to sit on the bench. School sport is inclusive and talent is hothoused elsewhere.

As for the goth/anti-sport thing. Hmmmmmm I was a Goth (sill have those tendencies, if the truth be told) and even at my fittest during my Military service still drank like a trooper and smoked like a... well, trooper. Mind you, I also wheezed and moaned at the 5am running around in the mud sessions - some of my fellows actually looked forward to those parts. I bet they were all on the hockey team at school!

[Lisa]

I really, really, really hated sports at school. Most of the time it consisted of running around the school (at midday. In South Africa), which I thought was ridiculous, considering the risk of skin cancer (which, incidentally, the PE teacher later developed) and the unbelievable heat. Totally barking and incredibly boring. However, in primary school the BEST thing, that all the girls looked forward to from the age of 8, was when you got to choreograph a dance in teams when you were 11.

[mumoftwo]

I have reported it, KM. Not really sure why no-one just reads through them once a day just out of interest (and then takes out the rare offensive ones)!

[KM]

Are we allowed to report posts like Peter's? It seems to me to be fairly OTT.

[Gipsy]

Jarrad don't you know that every conversation is really about how rubbish the UK is ;)

Sho - sorry I didn't mean to stomp on you at all! I do think that having a winning attitude is good, and sports is good in schools especially secondary school. I loved PE despite being absolutely rubbish at sport, because we also did other stuff (dancing for example, which we used to do as aggressively as possible and have loads of fun. The 'dashing white sergeant' can be quite violent and a lot of fun!).

However, I just think that when you get to the top level, as the olympics are, you should be yay, I won a silver, not crying because you did. That's just how I feel, not how I feel things should be :)

[Dion]

Peter you little twonk, do you think you're convincing anyone that you're 'hard' by cutting loose like a little kid who can't have an ice cream? Peter's probably not even your real name; morons like you love the anonymity of the web because you can be as obnoxious as you like without anyone duffing you up for it. You poor, sad little no-mark. Bet that was the highlight of your day, wasn't it? That and your morning wank in the shower.

[Delilah]

Hmm... I think what all of this confirms is that lots of people are put off sport by the way it is taught; not that sport itself is negative or harmful.

I hated sports like netball and basketball, but I did like hockey and rounders, about the only "running around with a stick" options available to girls at my school. But we only got about two hours of practice a week, consisting mostly of a game, which isn't enough really to build skills, just exhibit natural talent; most of us never made the team that got to play at weekends even if we wanted to. Plus, there was a definite anti-sport semi-Goth culture at school, much of which I find reflected in this thread - like too much fresh air and fun in the company of others might addle your brain and compromise your individuality. Consequently no girl I knew continued with team sports after school, particularly once they had access to a bar. I know a few British women who would like to do "social" hockey but the only ones around are horribly serious and competitive; so they end up at the gym or going running by themselves.

By contrast, my daughters(like most of their schoolmates here in small-town America) are signed up with the local athletic association for soccer. This consists of practice for nearly two hours after school twice a week, with one or sometimes (ugh) two games at the weekends. The same group that does the practices forms the team at weekends. The association has a policy of ensuring that every player sees active service in every game, in different positions throughout the season. Crucially, the practices spend more time on coordination games involving everyone than practice matches; and "having a laugh" is encouraged; perhaps because of all of this the team members seem genuinely fond of each other and there's a real sense of group achievement when they win. In other words, they learn to ENJOY being in a team.

Even so, my eldest daughter had bad seasons where she felt self-concious and wanted to give up; sometimes she didn't like the coach; sometimes the other players. I'm glad she didn't, because now (age 12) she really loves it and has learned a lot about the give-and-take of working in a group. Lots of girls here seem to continue to play soccer, hockey and lacrosse for relaxation, fun and socialising into college and beyond, there are lots of ladies' "social" teams around here, and no, it isn't an excuse for a bitchfest, it's just fresh air, exercise and fun.

[Jarrad]

...and there was me thinking that this was a debate about sport in schools.....

..what does 1994 have to do with it?

I think that some people play down the beneficial effects of overcoming an initial lack of ability - I remember the time I tackled the biggest lad at school during a rugby match. Sure he steamrolled through me (I was pretty small at the time) but it definitely made me feel better, and I got much more respect from my team-mates and the games masters.

[Sho]

Well, Peter, that added a lot to the conversation, didn't it?

For everyone else: I'm not advocating sport for all, nor that it should be the main focus of mine, or anyone else's, life. Just that since the Olympics I've been relieved to be able to say without people jumping on me, that winning is good. And the point about the girls crying because they "only" got silver isn't that Silver is bad (blimey, I'd probably give my right arm to be good enough to even be at the Olympics - let alone get a medal) is that they wanted to win.

That's the difference. Of course, I know that taking part is the point. My personal viewpoint is that I want to win - if I don't I go away and practice until I'm better. That's just me. I'm good at team sports too but, significantly, only when I'm the captain. Learning to play team sports at school showed me that I'm quite good at leading - so for me sport was worth it for that. Later on I learned how to lead in other ways.

Probably I had a point when I started... oh yes. I'm watching the opening ceremony of the Paralympics. It's all about never giving up. That's a seriously important life lesson, surely? (supplemented by: knowing when to call it a day)

[peter]

SHO... it's not possible to be away from the U.K. for too long.
It's a politically correct gutless toilet.
1984..1984..1984.. 1984.. 1984.. 1984..1984

[Nora]

School sports are as bad as the teachers. There are some very bad practices out there. No wonder people are put off. Some of us are naturally good at certain sports but are not 'favoured' by bad teachers. We all suffer as a result. GB schools are very bad across all subjects. Only a minority shine.

[sedgwick morrison]

In answer to Fraser James, cricket is played in long trousers because it can get quite chilly standing around all day doing nothing.

[Fraser James]

Why is cricket, the summer game, played in long trousers, when all the others are played in shorts during the winter?

[graeme]

I was put off 'team' sports at school, because they were invariably anything but! The game of whatever usually involved a couple of (aggressive) alphas or show-offs getting the ball and doing something with it until points were scored; thus rendering useless the other 9 (or however many) others who were on the field at the time. What was the point of us being there?

I've always preferred individual pursuits for this reason (cycling, running, sailing), whereby you only have yourself to blame if you lose.

[odtaa]

At the age of 8 I was moved to a small village school where I was the only kid that did not have football boots and the only kid who had not been taught to swim.

As sport was football I was an outsider and always the last to picked.

Sport is also about making heros and raising the status of what the American's call 'jocks', who are basically bullies.

In secondary school where football again was the only sport I and a friend managed to persuade, fairly easily I suspect, that I liked running and my friend and I then ran to this nearby forest, where we went fishing.

I personally find all talk about sport boring and most emphatic people talking about sport have limited conversation are tedious and mostly narrow minded.

In later life I did find out I like sailing but why or why are most sailing clubs mostly about racing.

You see the sporting mentality destroying the workplace where productivity is destroyed as managers compete for status, such as larger desks or comandeering the best computers, though they will never use them. This is why we work longer and unhappier than any other European nation.

I now long distance walk, rather than go to the gym, where I just cannot be bothered to pretend to be interested in meaningless statistics to fat, naked men with hairy bums.

I don't compete - I don't have to do- a few hours on the net, co-operating with others, gets me far more money than working as a wage slave.

When I'm unlucky enough to use the commuter trains I sit and watch in amazement as the alpha sport types struggle for position to be in the right carriage and push each other to be first of the train. I get off later, in a relaxed way, having read another page of my book.

I would suggest kids at school be taught drama, rather than sport, as it's more inclusive and everyone's role be it actor or stage hand is important.

Those who want to do team sports be allowed to do them, but there should be more opportunity to do individual sports such as archery, martial arts, sailing or encouraging of fell walking etc.

[Gordon Perrygrove]

Too much emphasis on winning. In a race of ten competitors there will be nine losers, just remember that. Sport should be a fun filled hobby and an excellent way to keep fit.
There is no shame in coming second by three hundreths of a second. Some of the Olympic events were so close at the finish that you could hardly say the winner is the best man.

[Baylor]

Jesus, this has got to be the whineiest forum I have ever read. Not everyone is good at team sports; the point is that enthusiasm can go a long way towards enjoyment and also respect from the sporty people in a team. Most on this forum seem to have made martyrs out of themselves and opted for the easy route of not taking part at all, even whilst other less than talented individuals would have taken part in the pouring rain. It’s not always about how good you are it is about toughing it out with everyone else and shared experience. By giving in to the sadistic PE teacher means that he/she wins; get up, rub the mud from your face and carry on, by far the best way to get them of your back. And by the way Yoga is not a sport, it is a warm up you do before taking part in a ‘sport’; and before a load of you get at me about how hard it is etc, I regularly do Salute to the Sun as a way to keep supple for the sports that I play.

[Sho]

I'm ultra competitive in everything - not just sports. It's one of my inborn characteristics I think and it is what led me into my favourite job. And we were all like that which just made us worse and worse - on the other hand it was just what our part of the Army needed.

I can see why people think that a will to win, and 2nd isn't good enoug, is an unhealthy attitude. However, I do think that some people (like me) are born like that, and the usual British way of the taking part being more important doesn't cut any ice with them(us).

In the real world (outside my head) I know that people don't like sport and that doesn't make them less worthy (or sporty people more worthy) than anyone else. I just think it's a shame if children are put off sport by the sadistic games-master/mistress and never move again.

We all know, because study after study shows it, that sport is really important in the development of children. At one of my daughters' schools they have one class for the ADHD children (identified after a 6 month study in cooperation with the University of Cologne). These children have one hour of sport a day - and they really run around. Their academic performance, not to say concentration, has improved so much it is nearly unbelieveable to see how they can now join in activities with the other classes - previously they had been too disruptive.

That's extreme - but i still firmly believe that sport can be a very valuable part of growing up - as long as there isn't too much pressure. (we all need a little pressure to give our best, otherwise a lot of us would give up at the first sign of the inkling of a stitch or something)

If it's about moving around and teamwork, the civilian equivalent of command tasks would be good for children. Getting accross the gym (or field) using only certain equipment provided sort of thing.

But... I've been at a parents' evening this week where we also saw the results of a study that showed that playing an instrument uses more parts of the brain than any other activity. Now we need to campaign for more music in schools too!

[Barrie Redfern]

After becoming ill caused by being made to stand in just a t shirt and thin shorts for nearly two hours during a torrential and freezing downpour my parents made sure I never took part in any pe or games again - from first year to leaving. For that I am eternally grateful.

[John Tomlinson]

The main reason why most people who hate comptetive sports do so is hideous memories of bullying and sadistic games teachers (with the odd semi-pervert thrown in) who bullied their charges in a manner that would have been absolutely unthinkable by their more academic colleagues.

[Lucie M]

For me it wasn't the competitive aspect of team sports as such that put me off at school, just the sheer dullness. Standing about, hockey stick in hand, while the sporty ones do their thing, not really knowing what's going on or caring either. I always looked forward to when we did more individual activities like gym workouts, circuit training, athletics, aerobics, because then you can really feel "the flow" and energy that you get from an absorbing activity - instead of getting bored from standing about waiting for your turn to run after a ball in the rain. So much more motivating.

Most of all, I hated the sanctimonious attitude of the Games teachers that by not being a keen or competent hockey player you were somehow deficient in 'team skills', and thus life skills, and in general one of life's pitiable bad eggs. They should encourage pupils to enjoy burning off steam with a variety of fun sports (a lot of girls love the chance to do aerobics, for example), instead of barking commands and having them play the same pointless game every week.

[Andrew Milner]

Don't you hate it when people ask: "So what sport do you play?" Almost as insensitive as asking, "So what church do you attend?"
Ridiculous assumption that playing or following sport is in some sense mandatory.
"Do I really look that stupid." Some people, so sensitive.

[LM]

Having never been any good at sport, but always been competitive (a sad combination, let me tell you), I can see both Sho & Gipsy's points of view on the winning thing.

But really, I'm with Sarah Vine on this one. I was truly terrible at all school sports except swimming. I was OK at distance running, but we only ever did sprints, and my hand-eye coordination was (still is) pretty bad so all those ball sports were torture to me (still are) and that was, what 90% of what we did at school in the UK? And like Sarah, in later life I discovered other things (mostly pilates & biking/swimming these days, but not obsessively & I don't have the time anyway). I'd love to play a team sport but know my limitations.

So, I'm all for introducing a broader range of sports/exercises for children. I'd be all for things like yoga & biking & rowing at school because these were all things I realised later that I could do well - it was the bloody ball sports that made me crap & last-but-one to be picked for the team every time. And I'm sure I'm not the only child to have had that trauma. (I believe pilates teachers say children have to be over a certain age to start that).