Children in Need playing dress-up - who really benefits?

Lorraine Jenkin, Alpha Mummy reader and author of Chocolate Mousse and Two Spoons, writes in with this observation about the Children in Need activities that go on at her kids' school. (Visit her blog at lorrainejenkin.blogspot.com and see left for her contemplative author's headshot.)

Who benefits most from Children In Need - children in need or Asda?

When we have a bucket rattled through our car window by a large woman dressed as a St Trinian girl, we know that Children in Need day is nigh. We are all aware of Children in Need and the amazing benefits that it brings to people around the world. However, I never knew that one of the beneficiaries should be your local Asda.

Yesterday, I was chatting with parents from the neighbouring primary school. They were berating a Children In Need day with a fancy dress theme of “someone who helps us.” Apart from my friend’s daughter (who wanted to be God), the majority wanted to dress up as nurses, firemen or policemen. The parents were discussing how far they had to go, in distance and effort, to get their outfits.

The irony of driving somewhere, often quite far, to spend money on buying a costume used to raise money for a charity was not lost on them, and most were aware of how daft it was. However, they were still all doing it (apart from my friend who was finding that a sheet and plenty of cotton wool was more than adequate.)

The situation was aggravated by the release of the Nativity Play casting list, so there was also a need for an angel’s costume, a lamb outfit or, rather less available, a donkey suit.  One father had left his daughter’s firefighter outfit in the shop and was on his way to ask for it back – I told him he was lucky she hadn’t wanted to be a nurse…

My point obviously is that this is a ridiculous scenario and if people gave the money they were prepared to pay on the event to the cause itself, Children In Need’s coffers would rise ten-fold. However, I am also aware that it is about more than simply money: Children in Need day is for having fun, raising awareness and joining in.

Therefore, I would like to make a call for the comeback of cobbled together fancy-dress outfits. Let's not make events about going to Tesco or Asda. Let’s make the credit crunch work for us and have Wellie boots and pyjama trousers for pirates, dressing-gowns and tea-towels for shepherds, pillow case dresses and wire coat hangers with tinsel hanging off for angels. Painting an egg box green beats standing in a queue with a crocodile outfit any day of the week.

Comments

[Hol]

We always had 'mufti' (or own clothes) days rather than dress up days - much simpler! The only occasions we dressed up were World Book Day, in which case I always used to just dress in black as a witch from Macbeth or in my grottiest clothes and a flat cap as the Artful Dodger. Cheap, cheerful, did the trick!

[mumoftwo]

Dr Smith, I found your comment a very interesting one. Would you have felt differently about charity events 'for the kids' if it had paid, say, for the counselling that you would have liked, or do you feel the whole idea of conceptualising 'sick children' as the recipients of pity and money who appear on TV screens but not so much in real life is a bad one? I'm asking as I don't have your experience, but do notice an intolerance or shying away from children in general in the UK, and from those with visible disabilities in particular, and it doesn't sit easily with the 'let's dress up and help those sick kids' rhetoric.

[Jane in London]

I gave a week's notice that we were having a dress up day at Brownies for Halloween. "Hats/masks/facepaints only and *no* elaborate costumes", and we even made masks the week before.

Still had several small Brownies dressed up as head-to-toe witches one complete with broom.

I did try to make it easy!

Blinking Mum-upmanship.

[KM]

It isn't so bad when children are really really small, and

a) think that their world is far better for being dressed as Bob the Builder or a fairy pirate

and b) aren't aware enough to know the difference between a pirate costume from ASDA and one Mummy made from his old top.

It is when the peer-pressure to have the best (which invariably means shop-bought) costume kicks in that it becomes awful. And yes, it should be money for CiN, not Tescos!

[Dr Smith]

...if you were really an alpha mummy you wouldn't be asking this question, but whether children who are sick should be exploited to this sentimental hogwash to make adults feel better? as someone who grew up with a serious chronic condition (now nearly 40) meeting ronald mcdonald on the hospital ward and having to endure other peoples charitable and patronising comments and views was so disheartening; maybe some kids get off on meeting an 8 foot clown, but all i wanted was respect and proper psychological support. In then end i found that for myself through avenues which were not charity related - like education, which i had to fight for.

[Rachel]

I absolutely agree, in principle. however, being a hectic working single mum, not only do i tend to fail to buy or make a fancy dress costume, but I usually miss the entire event altogether. i can recommend it.

[Claire King]

I agree.
Why shell out for Made-in-China nylon tat that is worn for one night only. Waste of time and money.
I made the girls' outfits this year and they had a ball.
I am neither a seamstress nor a smug-anything and I certainly don't have time on my hands. But there comes a point when you have to get a grip.

[Sho]

I almost NEVER buy costumes, especially for charity things. That defeats the object, and I'm ready to tell anyone and everyone that I'd rather give the money for the costume to the charity (loudly and at length)

Luckily we don't have a lot of that over here.

[LM]

Jen: did you make or buy the Halloween costumes this year?

[ww]

There was a bit of a parent revolt at my daughter's first school a couple of years ago after we had a spate of dress-up-your-children-and-give-us-your-dosh days with most of the letters coming out to parents at extremely short notice. One week we had a "Disney character day" and a "Dress in yellow day". I think that term there were four occasions (not counting the Nativity play as we had a reasonable amount of notice for that) when we were supposed to come up with costumes. Even if you're going to go the Blue Peter route and do it yourself, you need the time to do it. At the time, I was a single parent working full-time and had neither the time or the money. Yes, I managed to cobbled something together in the end, but all my daughter probably learnt is that school dress-up days make Mama v.v. cross. And I was not the only parent who felt like that either. The school seem to plan ahead a bit better these days and these events have become rather rarer and/or require less in the way of parental input.

[Caroline]

At last, sensible comments. Why spend money on fancy outfits when you can make your own [with the kids]

[mumoftwo]

Obviously I don't agree with Roger or John who don't have an opinion, being so baffled by the name of the blog...(perhaps it was the term 'playing dress-up' that attracted them to click on this link?)

[mumoftwo]

Totally agree, don't really have time or inclination for complex costume changes, luckily our Children in Need event has been to go in mufti (i.e. normal clothes). How sensible, you can tell the headteacher is a working woman herself.

[John Stephens]

Possibly something to do with Mrs Palin
John

[Roger Thersaurus]

What the hell is an 'Alpha Mummy'?