Top 7 sickest things about Lapland in England attractions

Update: Lapland New Forest closes

Two separate attractions have opened around the UK supposedly bringing the magic of Lapland to England. These two attractions are entirely unrelated, and are owned and run by different companies. But according to critics, it's not as merry a Christmas experience as it should be. Here are the strangest aspects:

1. At Lapland New Forest, Father Christmas was hit, several elves were attacked and a snowman - sickened by verbal abuse from patrons - "stormed off in full costume", according to the Sun.

2. The RSPCA was contacted by the visitors to the New Forest attraction concerned about the welfare of the husky dogs and reindeers featured, the Times reports.

3. Children cried after catching Santa with his beard off smoking a cigarette behind his grotto at New Forest, again according to the Sun.

4. The nativity scene at New Forest is painted on a billboard, says the Sun.

5. At Lapland UK in Kent, children aren't allowed to ride on the two rocking horses - the only toys in the Toy Factory.

6. Children over 18 months are charged £75 for entrance to Lapland UK, increasing as Christmas nears.

7. Queues to see Santa at Lapland New Forest were reportedly up to two hours.

Read the Times's review this year of Lapland UK in Kent.

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Comments

[Not such a yummy mummy]

I took my kids to Lapland UK in Kent last week and thoroughly enjoyed it - yes it was expensive but we'll only do it once and the look of awe on my youngest daughters face made it worth it for me. They also managed to extract that tiny piece of "child" left in my eldest daughter that is rapidly shrinking as she heads through the teenage years!

[Angela]

There are lots of us out there who aren't part of a nuclear family and the modern Christmas seems to be designed to torment us and make us feel like marginalised losers. Perhaps even some of those in traditional family units are slightly wary of the overwhelmingly "child-centric" Disneyfied view of family life that is often marketed as the ideal? Is this why everybody I know really, really enjoyed watching the whole Crapland saga?

[Jay]

That's totally wrong. Everybody knows Santa smokes a pipe, not cigarettes.

[KM]

Yes, you're right LM, it is different. It's the antithesis of all that. In fact, whilst I'm there I tend to I stock up on gifts in their shop because they have lovely stuff a lot cheaper than in the shops elsewhere.

[LM]

Fair point, KM, about the Middleton Railway; I'd do something like that. It's when it's promoted by shops and they're just trying to push more toys onto you that I can't stand it. (Though from a fairly young age, I remember my parents taking us to the local big toy store to gauge what we were interested in). But I wouldn't go to a grossly over-hyped, over-commercialised for-profit Santa park.

(OTOH, there are "cut your own Christmas tree places round here and that might be fun).

[KM]

Sorry, Jennifer, can't go ahead with the booking, my boobs are too big to fit into a Santa suit....

I disagree that all Santa attractions are tat, though.
We have just taken our kids to see Santa on a steam train at the Middleton Railway in Leeds - fantastic value for money, £7 per ticket (£3 for under-threes) and a good quality present for each child (grownups get a cup of tea and a miince-pie, less exciting but then I suppose I don't need a talking telephone toy)
Never usually promote things like this but it is FANTASTIC, very atmospheric, and all run by volunteers.
Bit of a local tradition up here. There are several competing railways that all offer good deals.

[John F]

People say that Christmas is all about the commercialisation and wringing every last possible penny from the consumer, but I just don't see it...

[LM]

Wouldn't pay for this tat at all, and actually am not into taking the child to meet Father Christmas at the shops either. If he happened to come to a school party or a Sunday School one (as happened when I was a child) that would be fine though. Last year, we went to see reindeer at the local nursery for free and bumped into Father Christmas by the poinsettia display, which was fun but unplanned. The one thing I will shell out bucks for in Seattle is The Nutcracker (set/costumes designed by Sendak of "Where The Wild Things Are" fame & it's a stunner). And some years for The Messiah.

But as others have said, Christmas is about family & friends. It's the same decorations year in year out (they are, after all, old friends) - some home made, some collected or given as gifts, listening to Kings College Choir sing carols while baking mince pies and making the Christmas Pud, and going to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. I'll spend money on presents if they're the right presents (but discovered long ago that I'm a cheapskate next to most Americans). And it's about making the perfect christmas stocking (everyone who sleeps in our house on Christmas Eve gets a stocking from Father Christmas, even if they're closer to 70 than to 7).

[David C. Dickinson]

Lapland New Forest: What do people expect from a British attraction, it sounds like most of them: very expensive professional fee for a very cheap amateurish product! During the 33 years I lived in the US I took my family to many attractions, at a fraction of the cost of a British one. Check out www.northpoleny.com Santa's Workshop, North Pole, New York. It takes a full day to go on all the rides, visit Santa’s house, visit with Santa and mrs. Claus, the toy factory, the reindeer stable, go on the train ride through the forest. Real log cabins, Alpine chalets. No mud, free parking, all rides etc. included in the $18.95 adult $16.95 child comes out about £13.61 and £12.17. including sales tax. And if you don’t get to see everything it is free to come back the next day.

[David C. Dickinson]

Lapland New Forest: What do people expect from a British attraction, it sounds like most of them: very expensive professional fee for a very cheap amateurish product! During the 33 years I lived in the US I took my family to many attractions, at a fraction of the cost of a British one. Check out www.northpoleny.com Santa's Workshop, North Pole, New York. It takes a full day to go on all the rides, visit Santa’s house, visit with Santa and mrs. Claus, the toy factory, the reindeer stable, go on the train ride through the forest. Real log cabins, Alpine chalets. No mud, free parking, all rides etc. included in the $18.95 adult $16.95 child comes out about £13.61 and £12.17. including sales tax. And if you don’t get to see everything it is free to come back the next day.

[Jos Costello]

Christmas is putting the tree up together and putting on all the things they've made, it's the ritual we have where Daddy sneaks downstairs first on Christmas morning to make sure Santa isn't still there and we don't interrupt him, it's baking and eating bread together, it's making cards and sending them off to everyone. You can get a lot of glittery stuff for thirty quid - what happened to Christmas being about family?

[Mike]

Admittedly this does sound more-than-normally-dire, but it should be blindingly obvious that it's going to be a festival of tat: that's what Christmas is, plastic elves, excruciating music, broken fairy lights and fake snow. My sympathy lies more with the rather unhappy looking animals than anyone naive enough to pay through the nose for yet more ghastly, tacky, reindeer-flavored drivel.

[Mike]

Admittedly this does sound more-than-normally-dire, but it should be blindingly obvious that it's going to be a festival of tat: that's what Christmas is, plastic elves, excruciating music, broken fairy lights and fake snow. My sympathy lies more with the rather unhappy looking animals than anyone naive enough to pay through the nose for yet more ghastly, tacky, reindeer-flavored drivel.

[Mike]

Admittedly this does sound more-than-normally-dire, but it should be blindingly obvious that it's going to be a festival of tat: that's what Christmas is, plastic elves, excruciating music, broken fairy lights and fake snow. My sympathy lies more with the rather unhappy looking animals than anyone naive enough to pay through the nose for yet more ghastly, tacky, reindeer-flavored drivel.

[Jarrad]

Anybody seen the film "Bad Santa"?

The Lapland New Forest sounds like a nightmare but I have to say - what did the people who paid such an exorbitant price think that they were going to get?

Anyone who pays that kind of money to visit Father Christmas was seen coming a mile down the road.

A fat wallet is no substitute for imagination.

[Jennifer Howze]

KM, you're hired! i can't get my husband into a suit....

[Jo]

I never enjoyed sitting on Santa's knee. It was always a bit scary and boring. We used to go to the grotto at Kew Garden's. It was really interesting because they had little talks and mini plays for the children and then Santa turned up at the end to give out some chocolate money. One year was all about what the different gifts the Kings brought actually were, what Myrrh actually was.

[Sho]

KM I'm with you - as a Yorksirelass I am terribly "spend-averse" - but even if I didn't live in a place with a high chance of a White Christmas I would never subject my children to such a load of tat.

For me a good family Christmas is one where we spend time getting out the old decorations - plenty of which are from pre-kindergarten craft attempts, and placing them lovingly where they are least likely to catch fire from the bazillion candles we now seem to have acquired. Every year we make a few new things, nothing is thrown out, and when it's not raining, troll off to one or other of the wee Christmas markets nearby for a spot of ice-skating and glühwein.

Who needs a pretend snowman and a father christmas who smells of Silk Cut?

[Hol]

£75 for children over 18 months? They don't even charge that much at the major theme parks (Thorpe, Chessington etc) for adults, never mind toddlers!

Spreading the bah humbug spirit more than the Christmas spirit, I'd say...

[Claire King]

Oh I give up on my computer. Can I have a new one fore Christmas please?

[Claire King]

My daughter has seen the news and is very worried about Santa Clause not being able to make it out of Toyland in time for Christmas.

[Claire King]

My daughter has seen the news and is very worried about Santa Clause not being able to make it out of Toyland in time for Christmas.

[mumoftwo]

There was a great suggestion by SM on another thread to take children into churches with nativity scenes. To me, the nativity story is just so magical. We've been re-enacting it at home with our multi-coloured toy donkey, with the children playing different parts and singing songs from their school. My littlest was playing Baby Jesus, and lay down in the manger with a cover over her, then we heard her say 'crack, crack' and she jumped up and shouted 'I'm out of the egg now mummy' (oh dear, perhaps my sex education talks have been less successful than I had anticipated...)

How can you compare that to staring at a crappy snowman made by someone else?

[Tara@Sticky Fingers]

Ye gods! Is this really the magic of Christmas?
We went to a similar thing at the NEC in Birmingham last year that was SO expensive and SO yawnsome that we vowed from there on in to create our own magic. Hubby will be hiring his Santa outfit next week . . .

[KM]

I just can't get my head around it. Yes, I know, I am the skinflint of the site, yes I know that working mothers have lots of money to burn and are generally eager to make time with their children as special as possible, yes I know that it's a magical thing to see Father Christmas....

But YOU COULD HAVE ALMOST A WHOLE FAMILY HOLIDAY FOR THAT MONEY!

Look, let's meet halfway. I'll dress up as Santa for you. I'll only charge a tenner.