Alpha Mummy - Times Online - WBLG

Mummy news from around the world

Interesting news and comment from the wider world today.

Alice Miles laughs at the idea of cooking classes: "Initiatives such as these cooking lessons inhabit what I call the La-La land of politics: imaginery places where ideal citizens welcome ministerial plans with grateful smiles and promises to do their very, very best."

Jezebel reports on why eight-year-olds are hitting puberty these days, drawing on a story from the LA Times.

Boingboing.net writes about parents twisting themselves into knots because of online privacy issues with Facebook and MySpace but who willingly let their youngsters shell out birthdates, home phone numbers and addresses on a kids website.

So much for the myth of the healthy Mediterranean diet: Spanish children don't eat tomatoes.

A highly amusing blog from a 40something woman

We're slowly catching up with the Alpha Mummy mailbag. Apologies if you've written in and heard nada in response. It's the whole so-overwhelmed-with-our-to-do-list-we-have-hide-the-unanswered-letters-in-the-online-equivalent-of-the-cupboard.

Thanks to reader Lena for sending in this great blog, written by Ms R, who refers to herself in the 3rd person: Woman of Experience. A snippet from the recent "Depression sessions #2: even more fun":

Unfortunately today looks exactly the same as yesterday (see below, can't be bothered doing links). At some point Ms R found herself crying while putting washing into the machine (sorting those whites does it every time)...Here [in Islington] you will find the kind of affluent, older mother who is to be found talking to her two year old as if it were an adult.

'Vladimir, you will incur substantial punishment if you persist in that high risk strategy. I will isolate you.'

This woman also believes her children are the natural heirs to the Dalai Lama and are destined to complete their MBA’s by the time they are eight.

'And Tristiana is so good at ballet, I’d be surprised if the Bolshoi didn’t come calling soon.'

Oh f*** off [ED: sanitized for your protection]. (Ms R loves children but stops short of worshipping them and declaring their specialness at every opportunity. And non-humorous mummy bloggers, I am not in the mood ok).

We love it.

Bedwetting, knicker flashing and expert help

Every night around 3am our daughter climbs into bed with us as a result of our latest ongoing issue: bedwetting. She was doing so well, out of pull-ups, staying dry all night, and suddenly she's regressed. We go through a box of detergent a week. I was glad to find out from the folks at Great Ormond Street that this is normal, although I should check to see if she has an infection. We've just launched a new tool in conjunction with the Body & Soul supplement featuring doctor's answers to your most burning children's health and behavioural questions: tantrums, fussy eating, shyness, night terrors and so on. You can find it on the Child Health page, where there's lots of great advice, including my personal favourite (and something we're also dealing with): "my little girl keeps showing her knickers in public". You do have to nip that exhibitionist behaviour in the bud, as Lindsay Lohan's mum knows.

More abortion discussion, plus news from all over

It suddenly seems that there's more news than ever relating to motherhood and children. A smattering of the top stories today:

Libby Purves maintains that doctors opting-out of performing abortions is inevitable. "There was eventually bound to be a shortage of volunteers to cooperate in what is sometimes an act of sorrowful mercy, but sometimes one of careless selfishness or neurotic control-freakery." Stand back and let the discussion begin
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/libby_purves/article1662848.ece

Kate Middleton's mum is painted as the worst kind of stage mothering, trying to muscle her daughter into the Palace while uttering words like "toilet" and "pardon". All the while running a mail-order kids' party supply business. The nerve of the woman!
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1663063.ece

http://www.partypieces.co.uk/Default.asp?&cookie%5Ftest=1

Which class are you? Take the Telegraph's quiz
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/portal/main.jhtml;jsessionid=4UTVXQZJ434BHQFIQMFSFGGAVCBQ0IV0?xml=/portal/2007/04/17/nosplit/ftquiz117.xml

Shocker: preachy finger-wagging abstinence education doesn't work for teens
http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,,2058066,00.html

A depressing story from the Guardian about the surge in number of child abuse images on the Web
http://society.guardian.co.uk/children/story/0,,2058878,00.html

And finally a review from the New York Times on books about empty-nesters and adult children
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/08/fashion/08books.html?ex=1176955200&en=9d11e5ea87677517&ei=5070

Good reading!

Blogs for dads that mums like too

Reader and stay-at-home dad Mike Adamick (www.mikeadamick.com) responded to our list of best blogs for working mums with a list of his own: must-read blogs for dads. Some of these look pretty cool. We especially like these two:

• Gets the vote for the most attractive mummy pic on the home page: http://www.adventuredad.com/
• Gets the vote for promoting stylishness and good design alongside parenthood: http://www.daddytypes.com/

Here's the rest of Mike's list:

www.sweetjuniper.blogspot.com

www.metrodad.com

www.rebeldad.com

www.flailingmyarms.blogspot.com

www.ihatesnaps.wordpress.com

"The list goes on and on, but I think these are probably must reads for dads -- and moms, too. I hope you'll check them out. And again, nice post -- I love your blog!" Just remember, on Alpha Mummy, flattery will get you everywhere.

A mini news update on mummyhood

The Times: I hate yummy mummies - are they the epitome of a fradulent charade of parenthood? One writer thinks so

The Guardian: How to make your return to work guilt-free - advice on how to not be a frantic mum and stop saying "we're going to be late"

The Guardian: What the government is doing about the gender pay gap

The Independent: Affairs between students and teachers - more frequent than you'd think

10 things to know before picking your child's school

Resources and tools

1. How do you find a school near you? - With this handy online tool

2. How does our chosen school rate with Ofsted? - Get the government agency report of schools you're considering

3. Where is your school in the top school rankings? - The Sunday Times' list of top schools, from primary to secondary, pre-prep and independent

4. How does it fare in the Good Schools Guide? - Not every school is included but this book parses them on everything from academic programs to fashionability of the school uniform. The site has both free and paid-for content.

Choosing a school

5. Shocker: Carpark gossip isn't always the best way to pick your child's learning institution

6. Private schools are 'no better for A levels' - Research suggesting the brightest pupils do well no matter where they study contradicts other recent studies

7. More than half of secondary schools are substandard

On paying for private school

8. Get ready for some sticker shock - The cost of a private education can cost more than £350,000 from ages 3 to 18

9. The big maths problem - Should you shell out for a house in a good cachement area or pay private school fees?

10. How your home can pay school fees

Volume 1: Things to read before going back to work

REPORTS

The NetMums survey of working mums: Highlights: 88% of mums working full time would rather work part time or stay at home with their children, and the great division between ‘housewives’ and ‘working mums’ is a media-created myth.

Department for Education and Skills reports: Highlights: Children who have care outside the home are intellectually ahead of those who don't, although they can have worse behaviour. Preschool has a positive impact on test scores up to the age of 16.

Daycare Trust Survey on childcare costs Highlights: In 2006, they found that full-time childcare costs between £7,000 amd £21,000 per year. Their hotline offers free information and advice.

The Impact of Working Mums on Children's Early Learning (PDF Link) Highlights: Paul Gregg's research found "Employment begun later than eighteen months and part-time work undertaken at any time has no negative effects." There's a BBC Q&A with Paul Gregg here.

USEFUL INFORMATION AND ORGANISATIONS

Childcare Link: Government-backed website points you in the direction of the different types of childcare and early education in your area. The site is a bit clunky and not fully comprehensive, but it's probably a good place to start.

Working Families: Useful site with factsheets about flexible working, maternity rights and childcare options.

COMMENT

Turbo Mums Don't Work: 'Perfect stay-at-home mothers are producing a generation of useless monsters', says Daisy Waugh.

Are working mums as bad as junk food? Rachel Johnson, (now at The Times) wonders why mums who work are branded the chief well-poisoners of modern society.

The government has killed family life argues Lifelong Labour supporter Maureen Freely. "I feared that the people at the top were interested in families only because they saw in them a source of cheap labour. No, let me correct that. A source of unpaid labour. Slave labour."

And finally... Here is a rant from the Daily Mail, arguing, among other things, that housework helps your children's grades: "The study of 3,400 volunteers over 25 years found that the length of time a child stayed in education and their future earnings was directly linked to the hygiene in their homes."

If you've seen better research, found handy links or read more interesting comment, please post the links in the comments.

10 great blogs every working mum should read

For most people, 'blogger' is synonymous with 'boring', 'geeky', 'self indulgent' and most of all 'pointless'. And most people are right - of the 55 million blogs in the world, at least 99.9% are unreadable. Fortunately, that leaves 55,000 half-decent blogs, so you're bound to find something you like. Here are a few of our favourites, in no particular order. Please let us know what you're reading in the comments:

1. Babble
New site launched by the people behind the the high-end sex site Nerve.com. It's great-looking and very arty, with articles about taking your kids to Japan and plenty of unfeasibly well groomed columnists.
Representative quote: "Once upon a time I was new to the playground scene.  I used to wear things like white cords and vintage trainers that I didn’t want to mess up."

2. Juggle
Wall Street Journal property writer Sara Schaefer Munoz writes a serious, grown-up blog about the issues facing busy mums.
Representative quote: "While the nanny-parent relationship is a situation that exists outside the traditional workplace structure, it’s arguably one of the most important managerial challenges working parents have."