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Oy vey - the nursery gifts

Let's just say the Christmas present for my dad ("I like anything, sweetheart, as long as it's esoteric WWII airplane memorabilia") or my husband ("I'd love the B&W Nautilus speakers for a million pounds") are a piece of cake compared with organising gifts for the nursery staff.

It's as complicated as court politics at Versailles. Do we buy something for her favourite nursery teachers past and present? Only her current teachers? A present for the whole group? What about for the teacher who often babysits for us at short notice? Or the nursery owner?

I live in fear of giving the gift that they open, then turn to each another and say, "it's the thought that counts". Because of course if we had enough money I would love to give each of them holidays in France and expensive wine and dates with George Clooney that let them know how much we value having people we trust to look after her while we're at work. Someplace where she runs through the door in the morning and forgets to kiss me goodbye.

In the end we got a couple of small things for her nursery teachers, a little something for the babysitting teacher and a group gift (lame, I know, as it's hard to share a gift but -hey- it's the thought that counts).

Nurseries v nannies, I mean, 'friends'

Interesting story by Rosemary Bennett on the front of today's paper. Apparently nurseries are struggling to fill places. The assumption is that the so-called have-it-all-generation (never was there a more damaging or innacurate term for the emotional and intellectual muddle that is juggling work and children) have finally seen the light - and decided to stay at home and look after their children. Surely this has far more to do with the constant stream of scare stories in the media about how nurseries turn children into mini-asbos than a mass return to the values of our grandmothers. Most households now require double incomes to support their mortgages (a situation that is only likely to get worse as interest rates rise over the summer). I think women are just choosing alternative childcare, namely nannies and childminders, people who will fit in around their needs, who will often look after baby in the home and who won't send him or her home at the slightest sign of a cough - or take half an hour to get around to changing a nappy. Britain today is a magnet for well-educated, intelligent economic immigrants from countries such as Hungary and Poland. Nurseries simply can't compete with this seemingly bottomless pool of quality, value-for-money labour. Why take your child to a nursery when you can take your pick of flexible childcare? An afterthought: Interestingly, "relatives and friends" are now the most popular form of childcare, used by 52 per cent of working parents. Hmm. I wonder how many of thse "friends" are nice Polish ladies undeclared by employers who can't afford the crippling nanny tax that government still refuses to review.

What they're not saying about daycare

Stop. Here’s a great piece on the US site Slate about the day care study and some analysis straight from the horse’s mouth, the researcher who did the study. It turns there’s a lot of misunderstanding and oversimplification about the study, as well as one big mitigating factor: the quality of daycare and the quality of the parenting the subjects received.

As the author Emily Bazelon says:
“The study's results, properly explained, do not suggest that kids who spent a year or two in day care when they are 3 and 4—or, in my opinion at least, kids who go to excellent day care for longer periods—will talk back to their teachers and throw more than their share of spitballs when they get older. These kids will behave themselves just fine. As long as their parents don't screw them up.”

Check it out: http://www.slate.com/id/2162876/

Another study about nurseries and antisocial children

Plenty of debate (at least over my breakfast table) about this new Government report which says: "Children in full-time nursery care are more likely to display antisocial tendencies and anxiety than those who stay at home or attend part-time." Altough, in the very last line of the article, it also concludes "Children who spent a long time in daycare tended to be more confident and sociable."  So, long daycare breeds sociable, antisocial children who are confident and anxious. Just like their parents, really.

If you want to read the full report, rather than the headlines, you can download it here. Alternatively, there's a thoughtful leader article from today's paper, which concludes that the government should encourage employers to offer more flexibility, so that long wraparound care days (8am-6pm) is no longer necessary.

 

Update on sick child

Thanks to everyone for their comments and good vibes. Was having trouble adding this as a comment so am posting separately to update. She seemed fine last night and this morning the doctor diagnosed muscle strain - ears, throat and glands all clear. I'm much relieved and she's as chipper as ever. Although she did seem a bit discombobulated when i showed up at nursery to take her to doctor. she seemed to be channeling the attitude of a 16-year-old, embarrassed mum had turned up early at the party

The call you don't want to get

The nursery calls. My daughter is complaining of a sore neck. There is swelling and redness although she's playing and eating well. Want to drop everything and rush home to take her to the doctor's surgery, then spend the rest of the day together doing Play-Doh and dressing up Polly Pocket. Except I still have hours and hours of work to do and can't get away. Husband and I agree to set up doc's visit for tomorrow and he'll get home early today. Sometimes the "work" part of "working mum" feels like the least important part.