Year 3, week 1: liar, lawyer

Attended my first pupillage interview last night as the newest member of the pupillage committee. What struck me most was the enormous irony in the fact that for a profession that prides itself on honesty and integrity its entrance interview judges people on how well they lie. I mean, the rubbish that was being lapped up last night was incredible and when we all went for a drink afterwards we speculated on what the answers might have been had any of the candidates actually told the truth. Here’s a few of the less rude ones we came up with:

Why the bar? “To become a fat cat part-timer like the rest of you.”

Why law?  “Because I just love twisting the truth and taking technical points.”

Why this chambers? “Because you were stupid enough to offer me an interview.”

Why personal injury? “Because it’s easy and pays well.”

Why employment law? “Because litigants in person are always easier to beat.”
   
Why landlaw and tenant? “Because I’ll enjoy doing-over impoverished tenants and hey, it even beats being a bailiff or let's face it even a traffic warden.”

And then there’s the question that chambers asked in a rounabout way to a single mum who had worked hard to juggle her study and home life. In effect they asked her about her child care situation but they were really insinuating that she might have difficulties practising full-time. What she should have answered was: “You just fell into the biggest elephant trap in history boys. Either you give me a pupillage and guarantee a tenancy or I'll drag both your bottoms and your reputations through not only the Bar Standards Board discrimination hearings but also through the media who are currently hungry for stories about rich, arrogant sexist lawyers."