paThe Worst Series Ever?

For a macrodelphological purist like myself, this has been a particularly painful year. It's been a bit like watching one of the Jaws' sequels. Every now and again you get a reminder of how good the original was, but you just feel you've seen it all before, but better. Still, we may yet be heading for a close ending. I'm assuming, of course, that there aren't further twists to come. Who knows, perhaps Glyn will walk out the door on Friday night, leaving Ash and Pete holding hands together: she sobbing her eyes out, he gurning like a spaced out Jim Carrey, when in walks this chappie to claim the prize.

sBut is it the worst series ever? I can never make up my mind which was the best. It's either 1 or 5. Nick or Victor. Wasn't as crazy about 2 as many are, and not as down on 4 as many others are ( though that too was destroyed on the infamous night when both Jon and Federico were shown the door. Another half-witted twist dreamed up in the Endemol madhouse ). BB3 was pretty good, but marred by Jade. Last year's had some pretty unlikeable characters, though at least they had some garish fascination. But this, quite clearly, has been the most stage-managed, and the most annoying.

Still, what do you think? Here are some highlights from the past. Can't find anything from BB1 or 2, and no one can be bothered to stick up anything from BB4. But this is BB3, this is BB5, and this is BB6. Compare and contrast.

Comments

[Helen Elzabeth]

I have to state this is the worst year in my mind. Last year was ok with no clear winner at the end. Anthony only won as Makosi lost it at the end...

I hate all the twists. I say go back to basics, 12 housemates, 12 weeks. Nominations each week and let's observe. Also a mixed age group. They are too young this year.

And Grace! Vile person.

[808tet]

Macrodelphological - is this a made up word Briff?

[Robbo]

BB5 was definitely my favourite. Wasn't that the first year Big Brother "went evil" ??? I loved all the Chicken Stu stuff. And Ahmed not being a sandwich and Victor schnizelling his chisel, or whatever it was. Even Jason was the best baddie on the telly that year...

[Gabrielle de Pauw]

Peter, I have the complete OED, all twelve volumes, but I can't find the word 'macrodelphological' - what does it mean?

Re past BBs, I liked the one with that sweet Scots guy who won, in his thirties, who was employed in the fish trade and apparently a virgin. He's now enjoying fame appearing in pantomime. As to the state of his celibacy, so far as I know, the tabloids remain unwaware.

[Gabrielle de Pauw]

Just seen the clip you posted, Peter. Frankly, given a toss-up between Shabaz and Nikki, I prefer Shabaz. At least he's honestly loopy.

[BritGuy]

Macrodelphological: of course it's made up, and amusing. For those who wouldn't normally get their news from the Times, "delpholgical" - of Delphi, so of an Oracle: forecasting. Macro: big. So Pete means he is a big-picture forecaster, something that is hard to do when Endemol is constantly shifting the goalposts. Though it has to be said that the manner in which they are shifting said goalposts seems to reduce the chance of a surprise on Friday.

[elcojone]

I think Ash is getting a really lousy edit. Is Endemol panicking that she might win? Serve them right. They have mucked around with the whole Big B. concept too much. She got the worst audition clip shown in that particular game - talk about bias on the part of BB. I hope the girl wins. The Nikki/Pete liaison is vomit-making, Glyn is more care-in-the-community than winner, Richard is so-so - I wouldn't mind him coming second, the other girl, can't instantly recall her name, pleasant enough but no winner.

[plugin]

not just a bad edit - they have given Ash a really really hard time period ! And they have got it in for her - why ? Even Davina keeps saying the public hate her - why ? I haven't meant anyone who doesn't want her to win. And as for Pete - has anyone ever in the universe of BB ever snatched defeat from the jaws of victory so overwhelmingly by a combination of cavorting with a screeching 80 year old baby and admitting (admitting ! on live tv) that an angel said he would win. Unbelievable!

I think that as long as you accept that BB has morphed into a weird hysterical freak show with no rules whatsoever, then it is still amusing enough.

[Pam]

What are you talking about, last year was much worse!

Who/what this year has been as dull as Anferney, as sexually manipulative as Saskia (and not in a good way - remember 'bark like a dog Derek'), as blatantly set up by Endemol to 'happen' to be the protagonist in the twists as Makosi, as unsavoury as Maxwell, as contrived as the Saskia/Maxwell romance, as uncomfortable to watch as the Garden Room inmates with next to no clothes on, as exploitative as the Kinga self love with bottle routine (left Jade Goody looking reserved...) or as clearly there to further their own agenda as Derek?

[drywoo]

I agree worst series ever. Alas anyone who now enters BB is looking for fame and money, not the experience. Although next year I am praying for some normal! people not wannabees, but the ordinary public (lord help us!!). There must be a few people left in the United Kingdom who have not auditioned for BB, are not promotion girls, are only slightly loopy and are willing to work out there psychological issues, humiliate themselves on national TV and thus become the publics most hated/loved hero of the 12 weeks, earn their 5 minutes of fame plus a tidy sum to keep them going for the next couple of years.

I would of course apply myself but being over 40 I do believe I have already misspent my yoof, and am now pay good money to a practicing psychiatrist.

[Peter Briffa]

For those who didn't take Greek at Uni, "macro" means great and "delphos" means brother. I don't know what big is as I didn't take Greek at Uni either.

I didn't say it "was" the worst, Pam, that's why I put the question mark there.

[Cee Cee]

I know this is preaching to the converted, but if you're looking for evidence of Aisleyne's shockingly bad edit, the Radio Times blog hits the nail on the head http://www.radiotimes.com/content/features/bigbrother/week13/03/

[Gabrielle de Pauw]

I can't reproduce Greek text on this Blog but I think you will find that the Greek word 'megalos' means 'big'. Makes sense, really - mega this and mega that. Like, mega-idiots.

[808tet]

Have got my Bren gun oiled and ammo loaded. All I've got to do is position and secure it on its mount and wait for those loons to troop out on Friday night. Heheeeeeeeeeeeee.

[Gabrielle de Pauw]

Cee Cee, that is the BEST BB BLOG ever, excepting this one, natch! What spot on observations! Read it, everyone. But still, Ash to win, just to p*** off the rest, especially the fake lurved-up Pete and Nikki.

[Cee Cee]

Damn right, Gabrielle. I will be in danger of actually laughing my ass off if a. Nikki is is first to leave on Friday (please, please, please) and b. Pete loses out to Aisleyne.

[hansgruber]

808tet, I get the feeling that I am going to read about you in the paper one day, the final line being, “…and then she turned the gun on herself.”

That said, I’ll be on the opposite side, on a grassy knoll if there is one, with my Sig Sauer.
We need to get a crossfire situation going, in case, due to the excitement of truly doing God’s work, our aim is affected.
Onward!

[Gabrielle de Pauw]

Hi, hansgruber and 808tet, I have a Webley air pistol. May I join your gang?

[Gabrielle de Pauw]

Gosh - I just Googled hansgruber's Sig Sauer reference and got 'this website is no longer available' all over the place. Except this site:
http://world.guns.ru/handguns/hg55-e.htm

[808tet]

Hansgruber
If I peppered you with my especially poisoned-tipped ammo which will be made up of runny cat cr*p,toe jam, 3 day old scud juice and one other secret ingredient, I truly could not live with myself and would 'turn the gun on myself'.

I have just consulted James Ellroy's American Tabloid to get an idea of what crossfire positions and manouvers (sp) we could adopt. I'm going to be Barb Jahelka Bondurant and you can be with Big Pete Bondurant, this i sas far as I've got. Over to you Hans.

[808tet]

Gabrielle
Yes. What fire power are you bringing to the table?

[808tet]

Gabrielle
Unfortunately a Webley air pistol will not cut the mustard, you can have one of my Uzis, a Kalashnikov and some of my special poisoned bullets. With regard to the American 'loid triumverate (sp) you can be Kemper Boyd.

[Gabrielle de Pauw]

My Webley is pretty nasty, honest. I also have a Pork Prodder (from Hong Kong) - nasty, spikey thing, for 'tenderising' pork ... and, oooh, just imagine applying it to you-know-who's scraggy backside ...

Ah, dreams, dreams ...

[hansgruber]

Gabrielle, of course you can join our gang! Bring what you can.

I am going to dispense with conventional armoury, and instead design myself a Heath Robinson contraption, from the barrel of which shoots a spring-loaded arm. And on the end of that arm is a prosthetic white-gloved hand, which administers a slap to the offender in question.
I give you the patented HansGruber Slap-O-Matic.

Nikki? Glyn? Richard? You have been fairly warned.

[808tet]

I'm sure Chuckie-D and Flavour Flav wont mind my bastardising their top toon 'My Uzi weighs a Ton':

Yo Briff, bust a move man
A time for a crime that I can't find
I'll show you my gun - my Bren Gun weighs a ton
Because we're Public Enemy number one

Don't you know, don't you know
I got a posse over force to back me up
Ain't it Hansgruber, Gabrielle myself and Briff?

It's no fun - being on the run
Because they got us - Public Enemy number one
Because we're Public Enemy number one
One - One - One
One - One - One