Big Brother Blog - Times Online - WBLG

Definitely my last post until the summer

but there is a quite marvellous break-down of the inanities and idiocies in the British press response to CBB in the new Private Eye. I particularly like the "Vote For Shilpa To Save Britain's Reputation" in the Daily Mail, on the day that she was up for eviction. Beautiful work.

'She's not a bitch, my Lord'

In what must be one of the most challenging jobs in the legal world, Dan-yell has hired some fancy London lawyers to look into whether BB's editing made her look worse than she really is.

Looks like a publicity stunt to me, though it might backfire if her lawyer concludes - and we find out - that she is every bit as much as a bitch as the programme suggested and has absolutely no cause for complaint.

But it does raise an interesting question: where does editing to make highlights more exciting end and mis-representation begin?

(And will Mobli be bringing a defamation case for tarnishing his reputation through association?)

Game over

Well, that was fun. Although thank God for racism, frankly, because it otherwise would have been a pretty dull few weeks. Whatever did happen to Lauren Harries? Do you think she's still sitting at home, waiting by the phone, her party frock all withered and worn?

So, pub, 24 or Dawn of the Dead? Can't decide. Anyway. See you all in the summer, provided they haven't axed the show, thanks for watching us watching, and thanks to the whole wondrous Times crew down the right hand side who made this blog happen. In fact, even if they have axed the show, let's see if we can run this blog for a month or so anyway, with everybody making up what they would like to be happening if it were still on. Or something.

Pip pip. Hugo out.

Hahaha

Look at Davina's face. She's just sitting there thinking "dontsayanythingracistdontsayanythingracistdontsayanythingracist" over and over again. Like trying not to think of an elephant. Maybe she's suddenly going to snap, and give a nazi salute.

How cool is Face

Shilpa wins

so Jermaine is on the way out. Do you think Shilpa is going to pursue a career in the UK now? What could she do? Jermaine, I am sure, should do a toilet book called "THE WISDOM OF JERMAINE". It's sort of like a cross between Buddhism and the inside of fortune cookies.

Dirk now.

Quickly. While there is still time. look at his crazy shoes. Is Face actually wearing Chelsea boots?

And now Preparation H

I suppose he hasn't been unpleasant on the whole.*

*Austin Powers gag. Sorry.

Boring Racist Jack and Boring Racist Danielle are out

Thus far, they have been boring. Danielle wears the weirdest clothes, doesn't she? Oh. Hold up. Davina is now playing that tired racism clip. And Danielle is smiling. I don't think she gets it at all.

I think, when he doesn't win

Jermaine's facade is finally going to crack. Screaming, stamping, running his fingers through his hair, leaving black streaks everywhere. I reckon he'll actually go for Dirk with a ladle and then just start bouncing against the walls, being the proper lovey diva he has thus far supressed. I'm expecting it to be rather like that bit in Fargo when the let the woman out of the boot with a bag over her head.

Go Dirk

It may be fruitless. Shilpa, so they say, is "unstoppable". But Dirk, the most regal of grumps, should win because his tone of rather worn forbearance, and jaded bitchiness, kind of matches ours as this particularly bizarre BB nears its end. If Shilpa does win, however, this does mean more of her fabulous mother, who seems dead intimidating and carries a little dog with her at all times (or in the one picture I've seen, to be more accurate).

Shilpa-babble

Just what is Shilpa going on about? Have they been piping funny gas into the house? "I don't want to think about anything," she said in that mad half-whisper of hers, which seems to suggest she spends most of the day staring long and hard into the void. About four or five times just total babble came out of her mouth in last night's show. And Ian - the chipmunk, the happy little thing who just agrees with what everyone says - nodded and assented "Yup" at whatever new dippy nonsense she spouted until neither knew what the other was going on about. Each exchange ended with a frankly wacko, heartfelt, hand-clasping "I love you". Plus, Ian still seems to be under the impression that the world will have veered off the tracks at the news that he is gay. Maybe Gordon Brown should have cut short that trip to India and gone straight to Wales to calm the nerves of a shattered nation, reeling after Ian's declaration. But, but, but... he did say something tantalising. That he'd been propositioned by a number of A list pop stars. He'd said "no" 'cos he had a boyfriend - yawn - but who were they? Come on Ian, save yourself from being crowned World's Most Boring Homosexual and dish, bitch.

And here's Danielle's mum

in the News of the World.

Jo: 'I'm not a racist'

Or so she tells The Sunday Mirror. Her Indian cousin-by-marriage begs to differ. 

So, who do we want to win, then?

I'm not that fussed, actually. Danielle will be out next, then Jack, leaving us with Ian (who I have begun to actively like - at least he has a brain), Jermaine, Dirk and Shilpa. I'd have bet my hat on Shilpa winning a week ago, but now I'm not sure it's the dead cert it once was. I don't think Ian has a chance. Jermaine does. I like Dirk, but does the public? Who's it going to be?

Was that out of order?

The interview, I mean. I think it might have been. Davina = big coward. Basically, in that interview, she totally slaughtered Jo because she never got to have a go at Jade. I mean, Jo is pretty nasty [as evidenced by her leaving Roy to go back to Frank, thus totally shaming him and Barry in front of all Albert Square], but still. It seemed shameless. Like, Davina wanted to blame it on her, so that Big Brother wasn't at all responsible. Yes? No?

Jo and Cleo

No great surprise. Although, bearing in mind Tim's comments, I did wonder, as always, why they dress up for eviction. I mean, it's all telly, isn't it? Cleo does always scrub up well, but we've spent the last few weeks seeing Jo lookig like a glum blonde version of Wee Jimmy Krankie.

And was anybody else still watching when they cut back to the live feed afterwards? Danielle very upset by the way they booed Jo. Although until just this second, I was trying to figure out why Shilpa was hugging her and saying, over and over again, "don't worry! You will walk out to cheese!"

Right. Off to the pub. I do have a life, you know.

Watching Shilpa and Preparation H holding hands

on the sofa, I had a sudden thought. Maybe she doesn't know he's gay. Maybe it just hasn't occured to her. So, when he says, "i love you" and she says it back, maybe she is, in her mind, dancing through orchards in a slightly see-thru sari, dodging around bushes and wobbling her head, with him in hot, rampant, hetero pursuit. Maybe she thinks her search is over.

I mean, you know, maybe. I'm just floating the possibility. Although to be honest, I thought it was more likely that she was about to do a little mini-vomit into her own hands.

The love that dare not speak...

Just before proto-Pat Butcher is kicked out... I have a confession, I like her. I like Jo. I know, Sordid. Wrong. Sordid. Wrong. So sordid. So. Damn. Wrong. Wash me clean. Ugggh. But Doogal's post yesterday about her living in twisted bliss with Shilpa, all that Spar and scratchcards thing, yeah, loved the sound of that... tacky bitch I am. I can't think of anything in Jo's defence by the way, but I just suddenly love her: the dressing gown, the fags, the constant moaning (Russell was so funny about that last night), the winding up, the scratchy negativity... She'll get booed but I do hope we don't have the days of tears and regrets and sackcloth wearing that attended Jade's exit (has she gone to India yet or is she still in Ongar?). I hope Jo just curls her lip and laughs her head off. Dressing gown and fag must be her eviction outfit.

The Big Issue

Has Cleo lost any semblance of respectability or unearthed an hitherto hidden truth with her "Jack you are so wise" comment.

Make your voices heard in our new poll *up a bit & on the right*

No great revelation here

but Jo really is a sour old boot.

Can't wait for that skanky dressing gown to appear on Ebay.

Late lookalike

(with thanks to Gordon, who called BBBM to point this out)

Liono; he kicks          Cleo; she kicks
Mumm-Ra's ass         Dirk's ass

And now... the re-vote

Did anyone spot this boo-boo/massive conspiracy (delete according to belief) last night? Anyway, the shambles continues... Basically, the phone vote has to be restarted. Now with even this most basic of things up the swanny, perhaps eviction votes could become a mass, national exercise in performance art. "To evict H, stick your head in the oven, to evict Shilpa run around with bowls of ice, to evict Jo, snarl and smoke like a chimney in Pat Butcher drag."

News from the Press Association - EVICTION VOTE CANCELLED IN BIG BROTHER SHAMBLES

Brother bosses were forced to apologise today after a hitch in last night’s show left viewers confused about how to evict Shilpa. The Bollywood beauty is up for eviction
tomorrow with four other housemates - Dirk, Cleo, Jo, and H from Steps. At the end of last night’s Channel 4 show, the on-screen message which flashed up on screen
incorrectly told fans to call a number to save Shilpa. Viewers were left perplexed as the voice-over correctly said to call the same number to evict the star, whose treatment
at the hands of Jade, Jo and Danielle sparked international fury. Channel 4 has now been forced to cancel all the votes that have been placed so far and restart the process
tonight. It says refunds will be given to all those who have already voted. Shilpa, whose win would be good news for Channel 4 following the race row, is favourite to
win this year’s controversial series. Endemol, the TV giant which makes Big Brother, released a statement saying: “This was a genuine mistake which was due to human
error. “We apologise to viewers and feel the best way to rectify it is to cancel the vote so far and re-open the voting again this evening, at the end of tonight’s show.
“We have consulted with our independent adjudicator before making this decision. “Viewers who voted can have a full refund and any unclaimed monies will be donated to
charity. “Following this error the profits from Friday night’s re-opened eviction voting will also go to the candidates charities.”  Channel 4 said: “Last night, at the
end of Celebrity Big Brother, there was an error in the on-screen information about Friday night’s eviction vote in relation to the eviction phone line details for Shilpa.
“While the voice-over was correct and stated ‘to vote to evict Shilpa’ the on-screen text mistakenly read ‘to vote to save Shilpa’.

Channel 4 comes out fighting

This just broken on the newswires. Sorry, lots of text to read but thought you might like to chew over this robust defence of Celebrity BB. They're not going to let the franchise sink in a hurry, it seems.

1 SHOWBIZ Brother Substitute RACE ROW ‘SAVED BORING BIG BROTHER’ <QA1> By Anita Singh, PA Showbusiness Editor

The Celebrity Big Brother race row
saved the show from being “the most boring in years”, Channel 4 bosses admitted today. Chief executive Andy Duncan and director of television Kevin Lygo said the
broadcaster had handled the furore “perfectly well”. They revealed no jobs are under threat despite the controversy. And the broadcaster is in talks with Carphone
Warehouse to resume its £3 million sponsorship deal for the next series of non-celebrity Big Brother, which kicks off this summer. In an interview with
Broadcast magazine, Mr Lygo said: “Let’s put this in perspective. This was in danger of being the most boring BB that we’d had in many years and we were thinking ‘Oh dear,
what can we do?’. “And then suddenly from the cooking of a chicken going wrong this argument erupted and then was taken on by the media and then erupted into this
extraordinary story.” Media regulator Ofcom has received more than 43,000 complaints from viewers who believe housemates Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd and Jo
O’Meara are guilty of racist bullying towards Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty. Mr Lygo said it was “a fantastic thing” that the show provoked such debate, adding: “I think
the programme was produced and managed very well. I think we made the right decisions all the time.” The Channel 4 board met earlier this week to discuss the
controversy. Mr Duncan said: “There was no mention whatsoever in the board meeting of anyone’s position in the organisation and I don’t think that’s on the
table.” Asked if he had considered handing in his resignation, Mr Duncan replied: “Not in the slightest.” He was criticised for the unapologetic statement he made
last week about Channel 4’s handling of the situation. But he told Broadcast: “I think the statement I made was very clear and very good. A lot of people who were
watching it live said it was delivered very well.” Carphone Warehouse announced last week it was suspending its sponsorship deal amid concerns about racism.
Mr Duncan insisted: “The commercial issues have been overplayed. The majority of advertisers have been happy to stay with the programme and we’ve been inundated with
advertisers wanting to advertise more around it. “Carphone Warehouse had to take a decision that was right for its organisation. I have to say we’re in discussions with it
about the summer. We’ve had a very good long-standing relationship. There was no shortage of other sponsors but we decided not to do it.” Mr Duncan and Mr Lygo
denied Goody had been tipped off about the race row and said the public were barred from eviction night to protect her from a “panto rabble”. The pair also defended
Channel 4 reality show Shipwrecked, in which public school-educated Lucy Buchanan, 18, branded black people “really bad” and called for the return of slavery. “If we
start going through the schedules and pulling out programmes that might or might not be offensive, where does that leave us?” said Mr Lygo.

This morning...

SHILPA (presenting it in a bowl): Snow! Snow!

JO (in bed): Go away.

SHILIPA: Snow?

JO: Ice.

SHILPA: It's so beautiful!

JO: F*** off.

This episode is best understood when one realises that Shilpa is from Tamil Nadu. And that Jo is horrid.

Who's up

According to an unsourced post by an amateur blogger on a rival site:

Cleo, Dirk, Ian, Jo, and Shilpa are all up for eviction.

Dirk - legend

According to Digital Spy he was hoping Boris Johnson would be in the house.

"He is very funny - I've heard him speak," he said of the floppy-haired one. "I thought he'd be great."

No prizes for guessing who had never heard of him. (Oh you Times snobs picking on those girls again.)

Shilpa not to win

A plague of frogs might well descend on me for saying such a terrible thing but... Dirk, we love you baby. Oscar The Grouch with a big fat cigar and mean, mean tongue.

Jo's running out of hair dye, apparently, so she may leave the house not only to boos but - oh the shame - her roots showing.

Issue of the week

Make your voice heard in our new poll. *points up a bit and right*

Cleo: misunderstood comic genuis or weird, washed-up 80s fag hag?

Ok, so I haven't been watching for a day or two

but still, I don't remember Cleo looking nearly so much like the dead guy at the end of The Crow.

Get a grip

Is it just me or is this getting a leetle silly? The girl from Shipwrecked says her stupid thing and we have yet more front pages and calls on Channel 4 to self-destruct. The Shipwrecked girl was challenged by everyone else, and anyway by showing racism you're not condoning it. Things have gotten very dumb very quickly. Big Brother, absurdly, calls Dirk into the diary room and painfully, painfully, painfully asks him whether he'd like to pursue action against Cleo for what is essentially just Cleo being weird and, as Dirk rightly said, sad and tragic. What was the issue - bullying, racial prejudice - gets totally clouded, lost, and Jade is everywhere "on the brink", crying her eyes out, threatening to go to India (which could possibly cause mass immigration on a scale real racists would not welcome). Please to whoever's doing it, don't smash Jade's windows. She'll just turn up on another daytime programme vehemently claiming she's not "racial".

Everyone just calm down. Shut up. Laugh at H's stupid hair. Jack's crack. Yes, Big Brother 8 should go ahead. No, no-one should resign. Especially not as a result of (the most offensive thing) demands by MPs who don't actually watch or care about the damn show. The point is, people always want to beat Channel 4 up. Big Brother is the latest stick. The show's a mess, for sure. That's why I like it, frankly. It also used to make me laugh. The eggshells the producers are treading on is making watching this final week a totally bizarre experience. I get the vibe lawyers and agents outnumber production staff in the editing gallery. Is anyone else sitting very straight up on their sofa during the highlights show, frightened teacher might have a go at them for laughing at ANYTHING?

Her name was Cleo

Big B: Cleo, did you spend most of last night harassing Dirk?

Cleo: No, it was my imaginary friend.

Eh, what was all that about? "One of my friends came into the house.."

Is she 6.

I have a confession...

I got a bit tired of the Jade/Jo/Danielle bullying/racism controversy and decided to turn my attention to something else on Sunday afternoon. I watched Shipwrecked. Now I realise this is a Celebrity Big Brother blog but I wanted to point out that while I was never totally convinced that Jade/Jo/Danielle were racist (sorry racial), I was left in no doubt about Shipwrecked Lucy’s extreme views. She clearly stated for all to hear that she hated fat, ugly and black people. Apparently these views are not that awful though because she is a naïve sheltered girl…

From the Guardian's media diary

"Will Ian please take his head out of the oven?" Big Brother makes an emergency intervention after Ian Watkins, otherwise known as the bloke who used to be in Steps, had his hair dyed by Jade and Danielle and - in the absence of a hairdryer - decided to put his head in the oven. The incident was sadly overshadowed by other events in the house last week.

There are no words. Except for "idiot".

Bullying! C4 boss must resign

Oh yes, a water fight ha bloody ha. But I have so had enough. How soon we forget. Have we learnt nothing? Dirk is being bullied. Horribly. I cannot bear to watch. Shilpa, who should know better, is laughing at him. Everyone is laughing at him, even the green topiary guy in 'Nowhere' is rocking side to side. His vile housemates anticipate his crack-up with evil glee. I'm writing a letter to the state legislature of Montana. I am writing to Bush. Dammit, I'm writing to Hillary and that Obama guy. And Pelosi. And also Cleo Rocos's MP. And John Major. And Blair. And the cigar people. No-one cares, cos he's white and a guy and he was in the A Team. But wake up. He's being tortured by a two-bit actress who has bought in a number of badly conceived, plain weird 'characters' into the house. When things fall quiet she puts on a wig, does a terrible impersonation and goes into role. The latest was a tart called Lola, or Ebola or whatever and she crawled all over him spouting deeply unfunny, croaky come-ons. It went on for ages till Dirk told her to get her 'fat ass' off the couch. The only bright moment came when Dirk sensibly posited that the A Team could be reborn as The Gay Team - "What were they doing in that van all the time?" H is evil. He's evil. We have to recognise it. Deal with it. Jermaine, pray hard my friend. Dirk is so horny he may well start mounting inanimate surfaces. Actually, Dirk's horniness is potentially the scariest thing in the house.

In other news: Jade is still crying. And saying sorry. And Jack said, like, two sentences last night. They didn't make sense and his voice was scratchy with disuse but hey, an attempt.

No one ever learns better

I've been sent the below by my colleague on the Times, Gabriel Rozenberg. Good points. Well made. He sent me it before Jade was evicted, but I've only just got to my email. Still, it all remains just as valid...

Something I have to get off my chest. In comments on an earlier post in this blog, Suzy calls on us to show 'Gandhi-Giri' to Jade, Danielle and Jo. "Don't crucify them, but show them what they did wrong, and shame them with your love and forgiveness." If only that would work.

The most depressing thing about Big Brother is this: no one ever learns better. Think of it like this. If you had cameras tracking your every move all day long, cameras which showed not just the stupid things you said but people's private reactions to what you'd said, wouldn't you expect to learn something from watching the tapes? You'd hope that people who are manipulative, unpleasant or just plain irritating would realise the error of their ways. But that never happens. Each year now has its BB villains - yet when they exit the house, to howls and whoops, and watch their gruesome highlights with Davina, somehow - aaargh! - the penny never drops. Millions of people may have each just paid 50p to tell you that you're a mouthy psychopath with the talent of a herring, but you're too smug-blind to twig.

When the storm breaks, each of Jade, Jo and Danielle will in turn blame the press, the editors, Shilpa and anyone else they can think of. Even if they act contrite, they will always feel privately they've been
stitched up, that no one really "knows what it's like in there", and so on. No catharsis. No self-knowledge. It's so frustrating. And unmissable, obviously.

Gabriel Rozenberg

Danielle's been dumped

according to the News of the World.

This the new India. And we don't take this kind of crap any longer.

Interesting piece in the Hindustan Times:

Race, nationalism and big money

(with thanks to Anirudh for sending in)

Jack

is also now doing the sunglasses indoors thing. except he's doing it at night. which means he's either very cool or very stupid.

or perhaps he's been crying about Jade all day and doesnt want us to see his puffy eyes. he did look a lot like a kid who has lost their mum in a big shopping centre for most of last night.

I ain't racial, some of my best parents are Muslim

According to the Guardian:

Goody's mother Jackiey Budden, who called Shilpa Shetty "the Indian" and refused to pronounce her name properly, is a practising Muslim who performed prayers while in the house. The prayers appear to have been cut from footage shown in the nightly TV updates

A sobering thought

For those who have spared a thought for Jade's kids, just imagine if Jackiey had been famous - what kind of life would Jade have had then? Richer, for sure, but also nationally notorious. Not a pleasant thought.

Hmmm...

Well, whaddaya think? Looks to me like BB told Jade a lot more about what had happened than we saw - she seemed to have her arguments pretty well thought out. But then, she did apologise to Shilpa, which was good. But was it all selfish damage limitation? I think the main thing we can deduce from this is that Jade hasn't changed between her first BB, four years ago, and this one - she has the same problem with controlling her tongue that her mum has. And whether that will change as a result of this, we can only wait and see.

Two sartorial points...

Has Davina had a plucking frenzy? Her eyebrows look much skinnier than ever before. It makes her face look different. Just shows you what a little thing can do. And Danielle - please stop wearing that long socks/short dress combo - that only works with a Britney-style school uniform.

Well well well...

Personally I'm quite pleased BB has got in there with some pretty tardy damage limitation, bringing Jade's controversial comments to her attention. It had got so out of hand. Hopefully now she'll go and we can draw a line under it and get on with the rest of the show. If only Jack had to automatically go out with Jade, as he came in. In the past few days he's started talking, but hardly any of it's been nice.

I feel really sorry for her.

And I still think Danielle's the nasty one.

Norfolk/Suffolk

Loved the look on Duck's face when he realised neither H nor Jack knew where Norfolk or Suffolk was. Jack actually said "Suffolk. Is that Norfolk?" You could see Duck thinking "But England's really SMALL! How can you not know every bit of it?"

Could we please desist

from the embarrassingly babyish, inarticulate, mud-slinging posts? I'm personally disinclined to moderate anything this evening if I have to wade through any more of this BORING offensive crap  - you know who you are. I've got a Ban button, and I'm going to use it. Allright?

Oh, and grow UP (unless, as I suspect, you're 12, in which case I might tell your mummy).

What am i gonna do with my rotten fruit?

just in:

CROWD BARRED FROM BIG BROTHER EVICTION

The public have been barred from tonight’s Celebrity Big Brother eviction, it was announced today.

The move follows fears that Jade Goody could be attacked by a hostile crowd following her alleged racist bullying of Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty.

A spokesman for Applause Store, the company which handles ticket allocation, said: “Due to the controversy and heightened feelings surrounding the evictees, there will be no crowd for tonight’s eviction.”

Hundreds of people who hold tickets for tonight’s show will be invited to attend the next eviction instead.

Longer version here

Cupla points

as this all rumbles on...

1. I honestly don't think any of the three witches will have their careers "ruined" by this. Not a bit of it. They'll lose some contracts, sure, but their profiles have rocketed. They'll issue the odd apology, keep their heads down for a few months, and then surface in OK magazine or the Mail On Sunday, doing a photoshoot in clothes bought entirely from the Edinburgh Woollen Mill, while hugging a dog and talking about how much they have "grown". This is 2007. Nobody gets ruined by anything anymore.

2. Yes, Tim is right. We have neared the stage where we are very nearly bullying them. I suppose we should be a bit ashamed of that. Nonetheless, we shouldn't forget how this started. The anger at Jade etc comes from us being embarassed, in front of the world. No small thing. Remember, much as we may sneer, some people admire Jade, and see her as a figure of hope and achievement, as a result for the ruthlessly selfmade creation she is. She has let them down, and for a while, they are going to hate her for it. But probably only until Channel 5 ship her off to Calcutta in the summer, to wash lepers.

Poor Danielle's agent

She did try.

Ello, ello, ello

According to the Evening Standard

"Police are today poised to enter the Big Brother house after launching a criminal investigation into the escalating race row. Hertfordshire constabulary has become so concerned with the furore surrounding the controversial reality show that officers are preparing to interview the housemates in Elstree ahead of tonight's eviction."

Presumably Jade will say something like: "Why are you wasting valuable police time picking on me. Why dont you go and arrest some racists or something?"

There's also talk of Jade getting a police escort to a safe house, but I haven't seen anything that includes confirmation.

Over on the Times Religion blog

Ruth Gledhill has an interesting take on all this.

"Britain's Hindu priests believe Shilpa is the very paradigm of the modern Hindu woman."

Hypocrisy

Yes I heard Currie call the three women "slags" on Question Time last night. Yes, I heard the laughs and applause she got as a result. First thought: Currie herself was once universally reviled. Good now she's found a way to be on the right side of the playground with the cool kids. That woman will say anything for a cheap clap. But the Princess Leia hairdo was, admittedly, brave.

Second thought: having heard all the opprobrium and hatred placed at the "slags" door on TV and now on this blog, it strikes me for a bunch of people who have been so overly concerned with the bullying and mistreatment meted out to Shilpa by the trio, you've all suddenly discovered your inner Jades. The bottom line seems to be that it is going to be perfectly OK to subject Jade (and Danielle and Jo) to absolute public condemnation, ridicule, vile comments (based on their appearance, apparent level of intelligence, their atttidues) and sit and watch, gleefully, as their careers sink and their lives are ruined. Many of you will say 'yes siree bob, natural justice' but to me your tone and attitudes are no better than the evil trio themselves. This time we're substituting class, education and just good old British snobbery in place of racism as the stick to beat them with, right? My, how much we have learnt this week about bullying and all. I do wonder if the visceral nature of the hatred and ridicule directed at Jade has an element of the snarling gaybasher who's really just a little bit gay themselves.

Now, you'll have to excuse me, I have to go and fish out my 'Kill The Pig' placard. Anyone know if Sainsbury's do burning torches?

That is so depressing

Shilpa's fantastic cuss to Jade last night ("You are famous for this! For this!") appears to have totally sailed over Jade's head. She didn't realise that "this" was Big Brother. She thought "this" was that argument, right then.

This makes me angrier than I can adequately express. It makes me want to vote her out and pay for her to have full schooling and an Oxbridge degree in logic, just so she fully understands what Shilpa meant, and feels like the banal, baffling tit she is. Honestly. She is stupider than cress.

Jade calls Shilpa 'poppadom'

And this has just surfaced on the newswires. On the plus side, all credit to Jade for using a word of three syllables.

Jade Goody, unaware of the controversy brewing around her, continued to make allegedly racist comments today - calling her housemate
Shilpa “Poppadom”. In scenes shown on Channel 4 tonight, Jade is asked to explain the nickname she used for the Bollywood star. She says that while talking to
Danielle she wanted to use an Indian name and the only word she could think of was an Indian food.<QA1> In a separate conversation that will be welcomed by Channel 4, Shilpa
tells H the behaviour of her housemates may not be racist. She says: “You know, when I actually thought about it, I know it’s not a racist thing. I thought about it for a long
time. It’s not racist. You know people say things in anger. “She tries to challenge me. She tries to challenge my beliefs.” In the Diary Room, Big Brother asked Jade
about the conversation with Danielle, in which she referred to Shilpa as Shilpa f***awhiler and Shilpa Poppadom. Jade said: “Shilpa Poppadom. I explained that for the
other two trying to get her name out. “Her name is not Shilpa Harry or Shilpa Tweed or Shilpa Mackintosh, she is Indian, so will have an Indian name. No racial
anything. “She is Indian, thinking of an Indian name and only thing I could think of was Indian food. Wasn’t racial at all. It was not to offend any Indian out there.
“Everyone knows I don’t like her. She don’t like me. What I said about her was not meant in a racial way - it’s not acceptable if done in that way. Mine wasn’t done in that
way.”

George or Shilpa

We've got this fancy press-search-database-thingy at work which tells you how many mentions people have had in papers/newswires from around the world in the last 24 hours.

It might be broken, or I might be doing it wrong but I just got:

Shilpa Shetty 360
Jade Goody 216
George Bush 198
Lauren Harries 0  (sorry Hans)

Shilpa doesn't think it's racism ...

but then, to be fair, she hasn't watched Celebrity Big Brother. In many respects, she's the least qualified person to comment IN THE WORLD. Apart from maybe Jackiey. Or Oswald Moseley.

Shilpa's changed her mind...

Just to drive us all to the edge of almost certain madness and worldwide conflagration... another twist -Shilpa actually goes back on what she said to Cleo about Jade's behaviour being racist... This just out from BB in footage to be shown tomorrow night. They claim it is unedited. Ommmmmmm....

Big Brother: Are you feeling happy?
Shilpa: Yeah I'm OK, happiness is a state of mind, I mean it just depends on what you think makes you happy, I'm happy. I'm happy and I try to be happy in every given situation, I wasn't happy, mm, 2 days ago. Um, well the way I live, if something has saddened me I try, it takes me a day to understand, analyse, and then I just leave it right there and then I move on, that's the way I've always lived. Today I am in a calm frame of mind so I would just like to say that um, an apology is definitely in order, and if Jade apologises I, I will apologise back and um, and make up with her. But I know that is not going to come forth from Jade's side, um and she thinks what she did was right and that was the right way to behave so I'm cool with that so I'd rather just be away, and keep my respect so that's that - I don't have anything against Jade, I just, I just don't like the way she speaks that is my only complaint against Jade, I have nothing to say against her as a person, I think she has really worked hard to be where she is right now, um, and I respect people who have come up the hard way but er, oh she definitely needs to brush up on some manners and the way she speaks.

Big Brother: Shilpa, you mentioned you were not happy 2 days ago, BB noticed that you had a conversation with Cleo in the bedroom following an argument with Jade. You implied that you thought the differences between the two of you could be racially motivated?
Shilpa: No actually I take that back. I thought it was cos everybody was having an arguement with me and I take that back. I don't think that is true, you know people say things in a fit of anger and erm, I stand corrected so, I don't want people to think and feel that way and I continue to feel that way. So even if I said it I would like you to please clarify and put this as a statement from my side if you can. That I don't feel there was any racial discrimination happening from Jade's end. Erm, I don't think that is true. That's it. I think that there are a lot of insecurities from her end but it's definitely not racial. So yeah, that's the way I feel.