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The highlight of this exercise in patronising futility was Mario saying 'I see things from a different perspective now." You do, do you? You see? With blackout goggles on? You muppet! At the end of the task they all regained their sight, more respect for Mikey and Mikey just stumbled off into the diary room. Darnell didn't self-identify as being visually challenged at all. So what did this task tell us about blindness? 'People opened their eyes," says Mikey. The RNIB is now running a campaign based around Mikey.
"I can smell you," says Lisa. "I've trumped," says Mario. Nice.
BTW how many hairstyles has Mohamed had now?
The saddest thing about this whole episode is the way Kat left the room in floods while Bex and Darnell just continued rowing. I don't think Kat is fake--she just is the sugar-fuelled love-child of Gok Wan and Nancy Lam. She'd drive me mad after five minutes but I believe she is, as Darnell says, 'keeping it real'. Can the same be said for Rachel? (note to self: stop forgetting Rachel exists). Or SLEEKIT Luke?
Jen's transmogrification courtesy of Dale-Stu's competing attentions has really upset me. She's now monstrous and her teeth, which I charitably though of as milk teeth, are now like Kirsten Dunst's in Interview with a Vampire. Stu still used to be a woman: FACT!
Oh Kat! Poor little cookie-loving, potato-resembling Kat. Those tears were too much even for my icy heart. It was like watching your mum cry - scary, unnatural, wrong.
In fact, over the last week, I've become a fool for her. Through PaintingGate, Spitfest, Dennis' departure and Sylvia's eviction, the saddest I felt was when Kat's cookies didn't arrive in the shopping. Bex is crazy to have a go at her - she's as close to a saint as that rabid house will ever get.
And why does Bex hate Rex so much? Why do the rest of them? What has he done? All I can come up with is that he brushed a fingertip over a monstrous amateur painting and immediately apologised, and he offered to cook restaurant-quality food every night rather than letting Lisa loose to serve up her entirely foul-sounding "normal food like casseroles and stews".
Although Bex was bound to blow her stack sooner or later. Have you noticed the amount of flak she's got about her perfectly normal looks? Idiots just keep making off-hand comments about her not being one of the hot girls. The other day, Luke said to Jen, in front of Bex: 'When you walked into the house, Dale was just like wow! And you were up against Rach and Steph so you did well. No offense Bex." Nice. Maybe Rex's cookie joke was the straw that broke the camel's back. Sorry Bex- I didn't mean to insinuate you that you look like a camel.
Is it wrong that I'm looking forward to Sylvia's first Mirror/Sun/Heat interview to find out if her boyfriend dumped her Stu-loving arse? Still, she did a stellar job at damage control in her eviction interview. She seemed funny, self-aware and warm-hearted - all the qualities she failed so dismally to show during her time in the house.
Yes that idiotic girl actually said that about her scrawl. Now that's what I call television. Brilliant, mad. I guess tonight we see what happened in the hours leading up to Dennis's eviction. But what a deliciously mad palaver. Actually more compelling than "Fight Night" a few years ago, because this was truly bizarre. I sat there laughing and disbelieving. It's hard to sympathise with Rex but I did. The madness of what he was apologising for was visible on his face. But something to note: this was yet another BB-engineered situation. I find it interesting that whenever somebody is ejected it's usually after a carcrash bit of behaviour fuelled by the booze the producers put in there to enflame passions which will in turn produce conflict. The purpose of the show is conflict of course, and it keeps getting in trouble because the 'trouble' that's produced isn't the right kind. It's a little too raw. The producers want 'nice' trouble - which is, in reality, difficult to control. Maybe someone should have as stern a word with them as the stern Scottish voice of BB who seems to have been elected to 'turf the housemate out' duty. BTW, I know you all hate her, but LOVED Sylvia's post-match interview - thought she was fab and funny.
LOVING Sylvia's boos...she's so rumbled! She is going to be faced with all her little and not-so-little lies. Will she see the truth? Will she do an Alex and deny everthing? Or will she trip over her stupid dress and not even make it to the interview?
Who nominated you Sylvia? Who didn't! Nine, count them, NINE! You thought Luke was your friend? You thought wrong. With Alex I thought Sylvia was a follower but it's clear she's her own, two-faced, woman. Stu stew Stu--can't wait to see Sylvia reunited with her boyf.
OMG OMG OMG! It gave me the fear--the fear I last felt when caught in a provincial town centre on a Fri night. If I closed my eyes and just listened I could have been outside a kebab shop wishing for a taxi and an armed guard. It felt dangerous and I just wanted to get away. I could have turned over but obviously I didn't.
Mo was the guy stepping in to stop the fight--typically he's the one who came off worst. Dennis is a coward and he's been a mincing bully--he has whispered, isolated and whined. He has highkicked hate for days. Mo is no homophobe, Rex is no art vandal (not that it was 'art'). Jennifer was a stirring bitch and Dale and Stu were competing to be the most offended-by-proxy and defensive and cocky. They were rutting and Bex was baying for blood. Dennis was removed at 117pm today and not a second too soon. Now he can cohost Alex's anger management show. Will two tribes go to war? Tougher now that Sylvia--the double agent and Stuart-stalker--has been cast out. I am sure her boyfriend will be waiting for her.
BTW I am no longer knee-deep in phlegm--thank you for your concern, love-tokens and lamentations. It was touch and go, obviously. Normal service is being resumed.
Yes, that's right. Dennis is gone burger.
He spat in Mohamed's face in an argument in the earlier hours of this morning and Big Brother's kicked him off the show.
Tonight's eviction programme is still going ahead though.
Read the full story here
Look, it's too late. But here's why: she's interesting and the House is in danger of becoming seriously dull if she goes. I mean, OK, she's not electrifying, but I like Sylvia. The dynamic with Jen is weird and toxic. If she goes, it means more Jack and Vera Glum and their bedsores and endless bum washing. And while I like Luke/Norris and his constant garden fence prattling and his diary room visits (please collate them on DVD somebody and soon), I fear he could as easily become very annoying very soon. Jen, despite the flurry of interest around her, stirs only mild interest... Dennis's Fame/Miss Grant dance teacher impression - "Right here's where you start paying - in sweat" - was fantastic. Did anyone else love that dance task? When will Dale and Stu a) acknowledge each other's presence; b) start touching one another?
On wk four of manflu so may now be properly delirious...but it seems to me there is something about Stu. Not something hawt or even just hot. Something odd. The muscles don't coalesce into a sexy body--they stand out as distinct muscle groups. They are too deliberate especially that 'little bit' of a six pack. Then there's the eyes. Mascara aside, they don't look like the eyes of a man. They are feminine. Nor is his hair coarse and open like a man. We never see much of a lunchbox when he's showering (though that could be because Sylvia has devoured it with her eyes). His Adam's apple is tiny. Stuart said he has a daughter but is he a father or a mother? I keep getting a whiff of FTM. Like I said, could be the meds.
Things I never want to see again: Lisa and Rambaux working out using household implements; Mikey 'whapping it out' over the toilet; Darnell lolling in the whirlpool bath like a cave fish; Dennis's buttocks; Dale eating rice crispies.
Gawd, Sylvia is a piece of work. She asks Stu (Ahhhh Stu. Drool.) if she can sleep in his bed, then proceeds to wake him up repeatedly to whine at him and tell him to stop flirting with her. Um, what? Come Friday, she's a goner.
But how did we end up with Mario living to boast another day? This time last week he was a dead man walking, now he isn't even up for eviction. Although, lately I'm less worried by him than I am by Lisa's attachment to her tights. Why doesn't she ever take them off? She was jogging in them. In the sun.
I still can't get interested in Darnell. On paper he's the most interesting - albino former gangster - on screen he's dull, dull, dull. Even when he was ranting to Luke about how he was two-faced, all I could think was, 'pan back to Stu. Or Dale, if Stu's busy.'
I've decided Kat's more observant than I'd given her credit for. Like, when said she looked like a potato. 
Tim Teeman is Arts Editor of The Times and a TV critic
Damian Barr works from home. Enough said
Veronica Schmidt writes on arts and entertainment for Times Online
Alex Hardy writes on Television for The Times
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