Words Not To Live By

Sometimes someone will say something and immediately, I’ll lose interest in continuing the rest of the conversation.

A few years ago I went out with a man who ended a message on my answering machine with “rock on”
As in, “I’ll try you again tomorrow….rock on.”
What’s wrong with good-bye? Or nothing at all. Just hang up. We weren’t meant to be.
I’ve discussed this with a few of my friends and I’m not alone. Certain sayings can be an instant turn off.

Here is a partial, not comprehensive, list of things people should stop saying:

1. Pardon my French (after cursing)

2. Anyhoo

3. We’re not in Kansas anymore

4. Rock on

5. What’s the plan Stan?

6. Give me a shout

7. Fancy Shmancy

8. I’m just calling to say howdy

9. Hell-o?

10. Who’d of thunk it?

Comments

[Teggy]

Er... I think you need to get out more... nothing personal

[Michael Greig]

Rock off, you sad woman.

[Justin]

Rock on . . what a prat.
Pardon my French seems to be an embarrassed way of saying pardon me.
Anyhoo - STOP watching Friends repeats!
Give me a shout - listens to too much bad radio.
Fancy Shmancy - I'm at a loss.
Howdy must be from someone living in 1984.
Who'd of thunk it? Again lost.
Hell-o - that translates badly into a blog. Where's the emphasis?

My vocab turn-offs;
'Basically' when trying to clarify every point. If I wanted everything basically explained I'd watch the morning news.

[dave morris]

I totally loathe the use of 'get to'
as in for instance, get to see, get to go, etc. Its clumpy, ugly, not to mention tacky.

[Bill Peter]

How did she become "Interviewer of the year"? With articles like this, who would want to talk to her?

[Eugene]

Keep on truckin', Babe!

[John Francis]

These horrid cliches suggest that cuteness and dignity are mutually exclusive concepts.

[Eugene]

An' I'm like....and she's like....so I'm like....

What happened to "I said, you said, he said" or the most elegant oratio obliqua?

[Mbaya CHoge Firelyte]

I agree. Americansims are VERY irritating - constructed as if by design to assume that both the speaker and listener are daft. Comes with having a bozo for president, I suppose. A bit like the reinforced Spanish lisp just to comfort some historical King. HANG ON A MINUTE - this article is 'totally' about America - what's it doin in the London Times??

[bill carr]

My mot noirs are awesome and cool. The latter which means everything and nothing at the same time, rather like 'nice', is especially annoying when spoken by adults who should know better but who want to seem youthful. 'Awesome' which has also replaced several worthy adjectives is used in a similar way by the same people who want to sound 'cool'
Both are examples of the dumming down of the English language, which has its origin in the USA

[Rotwatcher]

He got off lightly. Rock on.

[Dan]

That rather blows my chances, as I'm guity of 2 & 6, plus the use of "howdy" as a casual greeting.

Shame, really. We'll never know what could have been...

[Harry Owen]

How's tricks? Wake up and smell the coffee. Ooh, Freudian slip! Hair of the dog (every time drink the morning after is mentioned, as if they're the first person to use the phrase)

[Seth]

What about this saying?

Lighten up

[Pete]

seems most of those expressions are american and would rarely be used in the UK. Except for "give me a shout", since I use that all the time.

Yes, I am single. Ouch.

[Harry]

How's tricks? / That's a Freudian slip. / Hair of the dog (every time alcohol the morning after is mentioned, as if they've just coined the phrase) / I don't believe in coincidences / Never assume anything / That is correct.

[Max C]

Yeah, yeah. (for "Yes")
Y'know?
Innit?
To "benchmark" something (noun used as verb)
The "creative" (marketing BS: adjective used as noun)
At the end of the day.
To "scope" something (to measure it)
"I've been tasked with .." (I've been told to ...)
No problem[o]
There's no such thing as a problem - only opportunities
It's below my radar

[M]

"no worries" and
"not a problem" should also be added.

[Phil Atkin]

Were you based in the South East of England, 'innit?' would outrank all these. The richness, breadth and variety of the negative interrogative is being lost from our beautiful language. All that's left is 'innit?' - from 'She's got a new car, innit?' through 'They called the cops, innit?' all the way to 'They don't half sound like The Ramones, innit?'.

I'm fleeing to the country, right now. Aren't I?

[Juma]

The worst thing a guy ever said to me was "didledy" , like Homer Simpson's neighbour. I was speachless, because he didn't really mean it as a joke...... ( and I never called him back)

[jenny]

who IS this strange woman???

[Mike Beaudro]

As an ex-pat Brit living here in the US there are a few phrases that are really annoying to me - the number one and I can't give a sensible reason why, it just does!! 'from the get-go'. Also, for some reason my wife can still raise my hackles with an English, mainly Midlands phrase - 'that comes keen'. Relaying that something is painful. Why? I don't know!!

[Bartle Bull]

One thing people should be encouraged to say more frequently at this special time of year is "Happy Rocktober".

[Susan]

Can you add: blah blah blah, talk to the hand, and "that was so 15 minutes ago"?

[Eats Wombats]

11. Anyways

[Mo]

heh.. i like #5 & 9 :) we dont have them in england, do we?

good one,
cheers

[Paul Newton]

My favourite contender for things people should stop saying is: "Pissflaps akimbo" - it really irritates me.

[John]

I quite liked this little piece of trivia. My sister was once engaged to a bloke who often said things in 3s, e.g. "Good, good, good!". I ridiculed him so much, she had to dump him :-)

[Nick]

Zut Alors!

Try "Pay a visit to the Queen" (going to the loo); "Make like my jeans and fade"; and ANY corporate rubbish, such as 'Levelling the playing fields", "On the same page", or "Comparing apples with apples". In fact, in these cases, perhaps a lobotomy is indicated as treatment.

[john]

See ya later........

[thomas braun]

I hope to never converse with such a judgemental, intolerant "see you next tuesday"!

[DavidintheUK]

I wonder how many people find the phrase "turn off" a turn off?
If your commitment to building / maintaining a relationship with someone is so low that you drop out of a conversation because the person uses a phrase you consider uncool, I am astonished that you ever get to ask a second question in an interview!

[Tony Francis]

Dear Ariel, I am in Kansas, so I can't say "we're not in Kansas anymore". So what's the plan, Stan, for your next article? When you write it, give me a shout. Anyhoo,.... rock on!

[Jake Russell]

Whatever...

Very much so...

So he turned round and said and she turned round and said...

It beggars belief...

In point of fact ...

Cheers and beers...

I'll have to love you and leave you...

Right you are. Squire (optional).

To be absolutely/completely/perfectly honest...

Drop dead gorgeous...

That is so not true...

Putain merde arrete tes conneries t'espece de con - pardon my French.

[Michael Smith]

You could add:

1. Yeah baby! (or any other Austin Powers reference)
2. Not. As in, "That was really funny, not". If you think I am too stupid to get irony, then *&£@ yourself.
3. Innit, awright, lovely jubbly or any other cutesy faux cockney wide boy guff. Possibly acceptable if you grew up on an estate in the East End, but otherwise shuttit or I'll nut yer (sorry)
4. Ciao.
5. Are you alright? Just a stupid, stupid, stupid question. If I was alright would you be asking?

[Bob Sinclair]

Thanks for this. Really interesting.

[joe]

Wotcha Ariel,
I do agree.....8 out of 10. And there's lots of others.
But I've never heard 'what's the plan ... stan', and it has a certain appeal,in the right circumstances, and 'stan' can be amended. And 'who'd of thunk it' most definitely has something to commend it. I think these are in a different league to the other 8. I can already feel my brain limbering up to use them. You're a bad influence.
joe

[Tim Roberts]

Ariel,
You have to careful what you say these days, we all have spleens to vent and just because you can, especially with the Internet, it doesn't mean you have to.
Tim

[Beth]

i agree with joe... i think i'm going to start using the stan thing. i can't help it, though - i'm terribly impressionable. the only reason no-one's noticed my own verbal ticks is that i change them monthly (to avoid being caught out).

my current toolkit of conversational twiddles are:

neat! [i'm really trying to bring this one back]
lol [yes, i actually say it instead of laughing - so much effort saved]
jeez louise
okey dokey

and i could go on. but i don't want to give away the secrets of my dynamite charm.

[Vok]

I was going to say that those things don't annoy me at all and I'm guilty if truth be told of saying/making up quite a few of my own, then someone mentioned Ciao.

I HATE it when people always say that. I've always wanted to say Ciao the next time I see them as the first thing I say to them, just to see if they know Ciao can mean hello or goodbye.

[Susie]

I absolutely hate the expression "Do yer know what I mean?"

[Kath]

I'd say the vocabulary of Ricky Jervais in "The Office" provides a pretty good list of what to say when you want to get one other people's nerves. Though I don't remember him saying "bon app" before a meal.

But in comparison you Brits are rather lucky. Here in Germany people are now using English words whenever they want to appear particularly hip or urban. The result is inevitably sad, ridiculous and cringeworthy. For example, some dim witted politician launched an initiative called "Brain Up" - something to do with giving more money to universities. I'd rather be rocked on anytime....

[rob]

"Up" should never be used as a verb (as in "up the ante" or "upping our standards") unless, of course, "up" is immediately followed by the direct object "yours."

[Jobeth]

Keeping it real (or, really bad: keepin' it it real).

It is what it is.

Good times!

[cottonhill]

"Back in the day" - what day was that?

"Way?" answered by "WAY!"

he goes, then she goes - instead of says

lots of - "hella" this and that around here

especially among the dudes

but I loves to hear "he commenced to (whatever)" because it is usually an elder soeaking

not to mention the thousand "Whatever" replies I received when my three were teens

[pensky]

I won't be checking this blog out again any time soon. It gets on my tits. Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't y'all being a tad antsy re. other folks cutesy lingo? But while I'm here what about Kerry Katona on the Iceland advert saying "Big posh prawns"?

[JULIE]

i am guilty of see you later..aligator.

[Lisa]

What can I do you for?. How difficult is it to phrase this sentence the correct way around!!

[Imogen Joslyn]

I also hate it when people refer to my boyfiend as my 'other half' makes me feel physically sick!

[Linda]

As another British expat living in Britain, I despise their sloppy, lazy grammar. "Did you get your hair cut?" refers to a question relating to a specific timing of the event, as in "Did you get your haircut this afternoon?" Otherwise, the correct sentence is "HAVE you HAD your hair cut?". Also constructions such as "I just went swimming" or "I just ate". It's " I HAVE just BEEN swimming" or "I HAVE just eaten". Why do the Americans drop certain verbs like this? It's sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.

[The Garden Monkey]

Get Her!

[Bison]

Er...someone who speaks French and knows what ******** akimbo means should probably be moderating the comments here.

But well done to the two who got them under their evil radar.

[Sharon]

Bison - your response makes no sense! Well done to which two? What evil radar???

[alice]

My current pet peeve is the use of in-yer-face as an adjective, as in... "It's really in-yer-face" (when suggesting a colour/paint/wallpaper etc.) I would like it to be noted as a given that I never want think of anything you have to offer being in my face, thank you.

Actually, having said that, I might be a little less militant about it if the offender was devilishly handsome....

[Susanna]

What!?

[Lisa 2]

I agree with the other Lisa on "What can I do you for?". What are you attempting to say? Is it a weird pick up line or are you just stupid?

The one that drives me absolutely mental is "going forward". Grrrrrr

[Ian B]

Whenever i hear someone say "I'll just pop you through" on the phone, it makes me think of a hernia...

[eats wombats]

I forgot

If you will

(and YUCK!)

[Jennie]

It really annoys me when people say FEBUARY instead of February...

[Sandy Miller]

I love that list. More people should use these phrases, let's make the world a better place...