Heather Mills: Article # 4,401. But Who’s Counting.

Having watched Heather Mills on television this week, one thing was clear. Heather Mills is better than me. Why? Because she gives. She gives to charity. Who do I give to? No one. And not only am I am not giving to charity, but I’m not talking non-stop about how much I give to charity either.

Because if you’re going to give to charity, the main thing is to talk about it. People need to know how generous and caring you are. What kind of humanitarian doesn’t publicize their good deeds? It hardly counts if you’re not mentioning it every chance you get.

What’s the point of marrying a billionaire icon if you can’t let the world know you’re arguing about how he’s not giving enough to charity. If there’s any argument worth having, that’s the one.

If I ever marry an ex-Beatle billionaire icon I can only hope I’d be magnanimous enough to argue about that. I’d probably end up arguing with him about insignificant, selfish things. Like his snoring too loud. Or forgetting we had a fifth house. And then when we got divorced and I played the tapes I’d secretly made of us arguing, who would care?

Comments

[Sandy Miller]

What happened to your list making? Make more lists!! Now !!

[joe]

I agree with Sandy. Men like commenting on lists, but we need women to make them, and women like making them .... deep down we're fundamentally compatible. Maybe Sandy is a woman......no, must be a man.
joe

[Rachel Reese]

If I married a Beatle, I'd lay him on his back so he could not run away then spend all his money.....