Where am I?

HOME
  • COMMENT Blogs
Ariel Leve - Cassandra

Cassandra - Times Online - WBLG

« Why Men Lie (to women) | All Posts | What Makes A Woman Hard Work? »

November 10, 2007

What To Say When You Want To Stay Home

If you’ve ever been invited to something and you don’t want to go, it’s hard to know what to say. The truth? That never seems like a good idea. Try telling someone you just don’t want to go out. Unless you follow it with a detailed explanation and are able to argue your case like a skilled trial attorney, it's not going to work. The most common excuse is “I feel sick.” But everyone knows that’s code for: I’m not really sick.

Here are some excuses that might elicit a more understanding response:

1. I can’t go out, I went out last month.

2. My doorknob is broken – I’m locked in.

3. There’s a spot on my face. I think it might be Chicken Pox. Which is contagious.

4. I’m expecting a phone call from Madonna in Malawi.

5. I might be inspired to write something so I have to stay near a computer

6. My boiler broke and I haven’t had a shower for weeks.

7. The boiler repair man is here and I can’t leave him alone

8. I’m practicing staying home for when I have children

9. An hour from now I predict I’ll be very depressed. You won’t want to be around me.

10. I've taken a vow of silence. Except to tell you I can't go out.

** And to get uninvited: “Do you mind if I bring along Heather Mills?”

November 10, 2007 | Permalink Bookmark and Share

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451586c69e200e54f935b748834

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference What To Say When You Want To Stay Home:

Comments

Very Good.However,I have one more to add."I can't go out because I'm watching "The 100 Sexiest People in the World" on the TV tonight. Well,actually, no I didn't, but I did catch a bit of it as I flipped through the channels (I suffer from an acute form of remotinitus, thirty second attention span , finger spasms every half minute etc). At Number 83 was Micheal Hutchinson and he was most fondly recalled by a journalist named "Ariel Levy" who claimed she first fell for this love God whilst watching him on the tele whilst "baby sitting".Tell me this is a cruel lie and this person was just inaccurately impersonating you.That or they just managed to spell your surname wrong.

Posted by: Paul | 11 Nov 2007 08:44:40

»

The comments to this entry are closed.

Ariel Leve


  • Ariel Leve

    Ariel Leve is a New York based senior writer with The Sunday Times Magazine. Together with investigative features and in-depth interviews she writes a humerous weekly column, Cassandra. She has twice been nominated for British Press Awards. This year she was highly commended as Feature Writer Of The Year. She has written comedy for television and is currently working on her first novel. Click here to read her Cassandra column

RSS Feeds

  • Click for an RSS 2.0 feed

three random posts

Recent Comments

  • armstrongfl on Men Should Never...
  • Rick Kern on Why Men Lie (to women)
  • Rick Kern on Rudy's Phony Phone Call
  • armstrongfl on What Makes A Woman Hard Work?
  • John on Men Should Never...

My favourite links

  • Ariel Leve's Website
  • Read more from Ariel Leve
  • Dani Shapiro
  • Disease control and prevention
  • Beautiful art, made with knitting
  • 39 Second Single

Recent Posts

  • Men Should Never...
  • What Makes A Woman Hard Work?
  • What To Say When You Want To Stay Home
  • Why Men Lie (to women)
  • Heather Mills: Article # 4,401. But Who’s Counting.

Archives

  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006

Categories

Other Times Online Blogs

  • Faith Central

    Urban Dirt

    Alpha Mummy

    BabyBarista

    Ariel Leve

    Big Brother Celebrity Hijack

    Charles Bremner

    Comment Central

    Cricket

    Eco Worrier

    Formula One

    India Knight

    Inside Iraq

    Irwin Stelzer

    Lord Rees-Mogg

    Mary Beard (TLS)

    Money Central

    News

    Sports Commentary

    Peter Stothard (TLS)

    Richard Lloyd Parry

    Ruth Gledhill

    Surf Nation

    Technology

    The Click