What To Say When You Want To Stay Home

If you’ve ever been invited to something and you don’t want to go, it’s hard to know what to say. The truth? That never seems like a good idea. Try telling someone you just don’t want to go out. Unless you follow it with a detailed explanation and are able to argue your case like a skilled trial attorney, it's not going to work. The most common excuse is “I feel sick.” But everyone knows that’s code for: I’m not really sick.

Here are some excuses that might elicit a more understanding response:

1. I can’t go out, I went out last month.

2. My doorknob is broken – I’m locked in.

3. There’s a spot on my face. I think it might be Chicken Pox. Which is contagious.

4. I’m expecting a phone call from Madonna in Malawi.

5. I might be inspired to write something so I have to stay near a computer

6. My boiler broke and I haven’t had a shower for weeks.

7. The boiler repair man is here and I can’t leave him alone

8. I’m practicing staying home for when I have children

9. An hour from now I predict I’ll be very depressed. You won’t want to be around me.

10. I've taken a vow of silence. Except to tell you I can't go out.

** And to get uninvited: “Do you mind if I bring along Heather Mills?”