It all sounds familiar
Splits, resignations, media frenzy, calls for a new leader. It all sounds incredibly familiar to someone who has worked for John Major and William Hague. So I thought my Blairite friends in Downing Street and elsewhere might enjoy the benefit of my experience:
1. You will be tempted to call for unity. Calls for unity never work.
2. You are quite right, you are surrounded by nutters. But the funny thing about nutters is that they don't appreciate being called mad. Don't bother, therefore, attacking your internal opponents.
3. You were quite wrong. Things can't only get better.
4. Every cunning plan you dream up for diverting the news agenda will fail. Don't think that getting Margaret Beckett to make a speech on CAP reform will move your splits down the news.
5. There is nothing you can do. Nothing. And therefore the best thing you can do is.....
6. Nothing. The only card the Prime Minister still has is incumbency. He should keep his head down, keep his mouth shut, and keep going. This will fail to work, but do so less spectacularly than anything else. Oh and.....
7. Don't write anything down.
Given that underneath it we're all really fond of Blair, perhaps we all need to get our Diana Ross CDs out and sing one last song to Tony:
8. "Stop, in the name of love, before you break my heart"
Think it over Tony....
Posted by: Peter O | 6 Sep 2006 16:40:47
Whatever develops over the coming days and weeks one thing's for certain. If Gordon Brown wins the leadership of the labour party it will not win the next election. Oh please how on earth could humourless sour faced Scot be prime minister? Mind you if I were a conservative I'd be praying lord to god he wins the leadership..he's the greatest asset they have to winning the next election..bring it on!
Posted by: Paul Copson | 6 Sep 2006 17:49:30
It's really quite easy, first of all you sack Gordon Brown then you appoint a poodle in his place. After that you announce major tax cuts and tell the Israelis to give the Palestinians their land back. Then you go for another holiday and keep your head down.
You need some imagination Daniel, this has a long way to run. A leader's mettle is determined in conflict. Blair's been waiting for this. He's loving it because he has nothing to lose except his own self respect if he behaves like a patsy.
Will Brown show his mettle? Probably not because he has everything to lose. So Tony will push it to the wire.
Posted by: Marek | 6 Sep 2006 18:28:03
The Unions ,anti war brigade and the left wing think by getting rid of Blair they will solve there problems.Forget it.They have just given Cameron the key to no 10.Then they will wonder what hit them with real right wing policies.Thats why he only spins one liners at the moment.
Posted by: william rees | 6 Sep 2006 18:49:36
Labour has killed itself, bring on the new Tory government!
Posted by: Ted | 6 Sep 2006 20:27:02
Ooh! Comment Central - very fancy! Still, not quite CIF, what with the comment moderation and all...
Posted by: EqualOpportunity | 6 Sep 2006 22:55:22
Kamm is being droll, as usual.
http://oliverkamm.typepad.com/blog/2006/09/advice_for_the_.html
Posted by: David T | 6 Sep 2006 23:02:48
Announce a turbo-charged drive to propel key Blairite 2005 Manifesto policies (disliked by Brownites) into legislation prior to turning over leadership to a new elected PM for Party renewal.
Perhaps the CIA could detect terrorist activity at No 11 ......
Posted by: D Murray | 7 Sep 2006 01:03:15
Oi, Finky, I saw u on newsnight.
Have you been @ the biscuits, or has the picture above been photoshop'ed?
I think we should be told.
Posted by: Al | 7 Sep 2006 01:18:25
Biscuits
Posted by: Daniel Finkelstein | 7 Sep 2006 11:20:57