Your chance to name a Times columnist

Today, Comment Central offers you a unique opportunity - the chance to give a name to a Times columnist.

My colleague Tim Hames has always wanted a middle name. And now it is easy and cheap to alter your name legally.

So he is making this extraordinary request - he is asking Comment Central readers to suggest a suitable middle name. And if there is a good suggestion he will legally change his name to include the new one. There will also be a prize for the winning entry.

A political name would be particularly attractive to Tim - he has been drawn in the past to Lincoln or Madison. He has an encyclopaedic knowledge of American politics and an enthusiasm for it, so this might provide inspiration.

I don't suggest to Tim that he plumps for Nostradamus should anyone suggest it.

Comments

[Tim Worstall]

Christopher of course. It's the only decent middle name for people called Timothy.

yours etc.

TC Worstall

[Gabor Kovacs]

Dubbya

[GMcP]

Sherlock?

[John Hirst]

Machavelli?

[Maurice Colgan]

Wake up! it must be Ulysses off course.

[Peter from Kentish Town]

What about Milhous as in Nixon-- or Lembit ( I don't think the name is exclusive) or S. ( with no name) as in Harry S. Truman

[Neil]

Will he accept two middle names? If so I propose "Aaron Burr"

[Brian Thomas O'Connell]

How about 'Kinky' after the novelist, songwriter and would be Texas politician, Richard 'Kinky' Friedman?

[Peter Briffa]

Tim Lee Hames

Consider: Jamie Lee Curtis
Tommy Lee Jones
Jonny Lee Miller
Kathie Lee Gifford
Rickey Lee Jones
Gena Lee Nolin ( she was in Baywatch, don't pretend you didn't know )

I'm sure there are more.

[Alex R]

Goldwater?

[Ian Halligan]

I propose Hancock; or, if two names preferred, Franklin Hancock. I am sure
Tim will enjoy the connotation/ s!

Timothy Franklin Hancock Hames,

or, simply:

Tim Hancock Hames.

[David Boothroyd]

I was born without a middle name and have managed to avoid getting one since. I always said that if I were to add to my name it would be at least two middle names.

[Ross]

Tim Bin Hames. It's multicultural.

[Debbie]

How about initials? That would be unique.

Tim G.O.P. Hames
or

How about something strong, like the generals in World War II.

Tim "BULL" Hames

[dizzy]

Clearly it has to Eisenhower. A great President with the added bonus that you're initials would be "TEH" which is the most commonly mistyped word on the teh internet.

[Jonathan]

Middle names that could be surnames suggest a background, even a dynasty. Quincy is perhaps the best but there are also Walker; Calvin; Jefferson; Penn, etc. What about Tecumseh? or, since no rules as to gender have been specified, Margaret?

Or why not change surname? Tim Hamas has a ring to it.

[John Wilkinson]

Radioface?

[Dr Ben Ross]

Why not Lyndon Calvin?

This brings two Presidents of the USA and gives Tim the initials TLC, which anyone in the medical profession recognises as 'Tender Loving Care'.

A perfect name for Tim.

[Rupert Hinton]

Tim 'Blood' Hames
or
Tim James Hames

[Terry Collmann]

What he really wants is a new first name to go in front of Tim, such as River, after the American actor River Phoenix, and turn Tim into his middle initial, US style - then he'd be properly River T Hames. Or Sweet, to give Sweet T Hames (run softly ...) Or maybe, if he wants a real American look, with the initial at the beginning like L Ron Hubbard, he could add a new surname on the end, such as Estuary, to be the very transatlantic sounding T Hames Estuary ...

I'll get me coat ...

[Dr Ben Ross]

2 middle names taken from 2 Presidents:
Lyndon Calvin.

TLC, (tender loving care) Hames

[Susie]

Baldrick.

[Ben]

Jake.

[Faustino]

T (OldManRiver) hames
Tim Berrrr!!!! Hames
Tim Pani Hames
Tim Tam Hames (that takes the biscuit!)
(more seriously)
Franklin
Kennedy
Washington

[Chris]

Tim Kermit Hames (TK Hames) after Kermit Roosevelt, the remarkable son of Theodore (no, not the frog).

[J E Joseph]

Timothy Stevenson Hanes. In honour of Adlai.

[poldraw]

Monroe! After James "Get off me land" Monroe... Goes very well with Tim! And talking of ex presidents, how about Rutherford (or even Birchard)

[David Williams]

Inserting Oliver Spike would enable him to sign off as TOSH.

More kindly, Alistair Second (after Cooke) thereby opening up the possibility of hiding the stiff upper lip Americans think we all have.

Columbus seems far too innocuous.

[jill dimwit]

Ford

After Gerald Ford and Henry Ford.
He could also style himself T Ford.

[Slim 75]

Tim Baines Hames has a nice ring to it and pays tribute to, in my humble opinion, one of the most underrated US presidents of the 20th century...

[Another Tim]

Something bewhiskered and Victorian, perhaps? Something along the lines of Bartle, Wodehouse, Garnet, or Sleigh?

[Tom]

Surely his full name should become: Tim Timesonline Dot Typepad Dot Com Slash Comment Hames?

[Bethan]

ACACALLIS

A bit unusual and goes quite well with Tim...

[Chris C]

It's been mentioned before, but 'S' is surely the king of political middle names.

If Tim really wants to raise the bar, however, he should use it as a first name. He'd be like M or Q from the James Bond films (or like H from Steps)...

[Patricia Peacock]

Tim Jefferson Hames has a great ring to it.

[Burkean]

Yorkie.

[Peter Parsons]

Schmikelberger... unusual and definitely noteworthy...

[richard pryce]

It has to be Lofty, off It Ain't Half Hot Mum.

[Chris C]

'Emmeline'? Margaret?

[Seasider]

How about "Slim" for a touch of irony?

"Ultuous" for when he's feeling agitated.

"Orous" for when he's indecisive.

"Escent" for when...ok you get the picture.

Seriously now - how about "Times"?

Tim Times Hames. Perfect!

[Kanga]

Alexis, surely?

[Laconian]

Iolanthe (Reginald Perrin's middle name)
Maddox
Niles
Hudson
Gunnison

[Chris Paul]

Timothy should adopt a middle name in the tradition of family names as middle names - Hames. He should then adopt a third name linking him with his American interests: Eisenhower. Timothy Hames Eisenhower or THE for short. There's definitely an article in that Danny, yes siree!

[Dheigham]

If Tim is thinking from a US viewpoint, the fashion is dynastic. "Cabot" probably has the most lasting quality; much better than Bush or fly-by-nights like Lincoln.
If he is thinking from a European context, "De Toqueville" is unrivalled.
If his ambition is simply to struggle out of Thames mud, try "Murdoch"

[Peter Jenkins]

As i had the pleasure of Tim's teaching on the US system of govt whilst at Oxford, I would most respectfully suggest:

Tim Beltway Hames

referring of course to his intimate knowledge of Washington D.C. not a waistline...

[Nick F]

'Beauregard' after the famous Civil War general. You need more syllables Tim....

[Jesal Punjani]

I think Tim Marcus Hames has a good ring to it.

[mark c]

Watergate... suprised no-one has mentiond it!

[B Preece Smith]

Praise-God as in Praise-God Barebones to represent the great English republic and "Praise God and pass the ammo" to represent the great American Republic.

[john macgregor]

He and all other "allleged political jurnalists" should adopt the name Alistar Campbell.This will act as a permanent reminder as to how the porno writer emasculated the British press.I do not include the ever brave visual political catoonists

[stella b]

It should be Cromwell. Two syllables that capture perfectly Dr Hames' militaristic style and ardent love of republicanism.

[Scott A. Daggett]

Timothy John Hames
Tim John James
Tim J. Hames
Timothy J. Hames

[Chris Haukoos]

how 'bout Timothy D.C. Hames? The D.C. from Washington, D.C.!!!! I like it!