Brilliant entry: What Bloomberg should do with his billion

Top class response to my competition better ways for Michael Bloomberg to spend $1 billion than on a Presidential campaign.

The blogger Don Surber writes:

Well, I just happen to have a few ideas.

1. Pay for John Edwards’ next 2.5 million haircuts.

2. Buy 95 million box lunches from Nikola’s restaurants at the Newburgh Yacht Club to eat while pretending to go to Wendy’s. Oh, wait. That backfired on John Kerry.

3. Pull an Oprah and buy 35,211 Pontiac G-6s to hand out to voters.

4. Run the federal government for 3 hours, 14 minutes and 24 seconds.

5. A year-long subscription to the Charleston Daily Mail for everyone in New York (6,410,256 newspapers a day). Hey, I gotta plug the boss.

6. Purchase 4,316,546,762 packets of Kool-Aid. Oh yeaahh!

7. Pull a Hillary and rent 100,000 months of political consulting from state Sen. Darrell Jackson, D-S.C. That’s 8,333+ years.

8. Get 100 million hair plugs. Maybe not. Look at Joe Biden.

9. Buy 166,667 Brioni suits. You’ll still lose, but you’ll lose in style.

10. Get 3,333,333 $300 “massages” from an escort. Oh wait, the feds just shut down the DC madam.

11. Purchase 21,739,130 bra and panty sets for Britney Spears. I cannot overemphasize the importance of keeping this woman in underwear.

12. Buy 14,890,052,356 aluminum sheets for Ron Paul’s supporters. Their tin foil hats are rusting.

Every one a winner in my view.

Can you do better?

Comments

[Tim Worstall]

Hire Tim Worstall to write 1.45 million Thunderers? Works for me.