We Didn't Start The Fire competition

It is time, indeed long past time, to update Billy Joel's classic song We Didn't Start The Fire.

I have no idea why anyone accused Mr Joel and his friends of starting a fire and am willing to accept his protestations that he is not guilty. He is, I am sure, an Innocent Man.

But I don't think we can allow this song to end in 1989 with Tiananmen Square.

A Comment Central prize to the best update adding names and events from the past 18 years.

To help you here are the lyrics so far:

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenbergs, H Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye

Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new queen
Maciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dancron
Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge On The River Kwai

Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkwether, Homicide, Children of Thalidomide
Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia
Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go

U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Hemingway, Eichman, Stranger in a Strange Land
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex
J.F.K. blown away, what else do I have to say

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law
Rock and Roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Wikipedia helpfully provides a guide to the events and people named in We Didn't Start the Fire

And here is Mr Joel singing the pre-Comment Central version:

If you are too shy to post your lyrics here, you can send them to me on commentcentral@thetimes.co.uk.

Comments

[jailhouselawyer]

It's a work in progress...

Chernobyl and Purple Rain, America in Afghanistan again
9/11 Iraq war 7/7 Dafur Jon Snow on Channel 4
Bill Clinton escapes jail cos he didn't inhale
Monica went to the press with stains on her dress
Syria and Lebanon
Strangeways
Maggie's fall from power
Good Friday
Lord Archer and Aitken perjury

[Xboy]

No, please don't! That song is easily the worst thing recorded in the 1980s and updating the lyrics will only subject a new generation of innocents to the aural torture that is Billy Joel's music.

[Dan]

How about a U.S. version, in chronological order?

Hubble Scope, Gulf War ,World T.C. the first go
Waco Falling, Free Trade calling
G.O.P. in Control.

Oklahoma, O.J.
Disaster on TWA
Saudi Terror, Olympic error, Clinton wins again.

No clones, Tanzania, Littleton mania

Impeachment is a no go.
Sneak attack on U.S. Cole

Bush wins in Florida
A year before September’s war
Freedom for the Afghan
Department of Homeland
Shuttle gone
Saddam gone
Iraqi Freedom

W. wins again
Hurricanes then blow in
Democrats back for now
Virginia Tech falls somehow

Paris has to be re-jailed
Before we wonder how the system failed.

[Rush Montgomery III]

Well, here ya go...

Operation Desert Storm, Yeltsin ends the Cold War.
Warsaw Pact, Schindler’s List, the World Trade Center bombed.

Siege at Waco, Palestinians, banking scandals, O.J Simpson,
Rodney King asks everyone “Can’t we all get along?”

Mad Cow in the beef, Dolly is the first clone sheep,
Taliban’s Afghanistan, earthquake hits Kobe Japan.

Martha Stewart, Panama, Valdez spills the Exxon,
Chechnya and Sarajevo, Contras in Iran.

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Rwandan genocide, Northern Ireland ceasefire,
Mandela, Tonya Harding, Million Man March.

Tim McVey, Ross Perot, Netanyahu, Bob Dole,
John Paul the Second, Yitzhak Rabin, death of Rosa Parks.

Internet, dot com, William Clinton, Enron,
Hale-Bopp, Albright, Heaven’s Gate suicide,

Tiger Woods, Elian Gonzales, Columbine, Melissa virus,
Monica Lewinsky makes Bill Clinton wanna hide.

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

George Bush Jr., Al Gore, Tiger Woods, Kevorkian,
Vlad Putin, Anthrax, 9/11 attacks.

Taliban is back again, Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan,
Kenneth Lay, IRA, Versace gets whacked.

Weapons of mass destruction, Iraq claiming nuke production,
Saddam Hussein, caught and hanged, what else do I have to say?

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Rumsfeld, Schwarzenegger, Iran, Hurricane Katrina,
Trent Lott, Tom DeLay, Cheney blows his friend away.

American Idol, Paris Hilton, Michael Jackson, Lindsay Lohan,
Guantanamo, YouTube, AIDS, SARS, Bird flu.

U.S. forces on the shores, Iraq’s under martial law
Another flick by Michael Moore, I can't take it anymore!

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

[Rush Montgomery III]

Sooo... Did I win something? Where's my prize? haha

[Fonsy G (Belgium)]

I think Rush Montgomery III's Lyrics are easily the best among all i've read so far, and they resemble very much my idea of updated lyrics.
Congrats, mate!

[valerie king]

i think that i am starting to like this song and all that thw teacher plays it over and over.