We have a winner!

Time to finish a competition. I asked Comment Central readers to update Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire. You responded magnificently, as I knew you would.

In most cases this magnificent response was to ignore my competition and get on with more important things.

But in the case of the gallant and splendidly named Rush Montgomerie III, magnificence took the form of this fine winning entry:

Operation Desert Storm, Yeltsin ends the Cold War.
Warsaw Pact, Schindler’s List, the World Trade Center bombed.
Siege at Waco, Palestinians, banking scandals, O.J Simpson,
Rodney King asks everyone “Can’t we all get along?”

Mad Cow in the beef, Dolly is the first clone sheep,
Taliban’s Afghanistan, earthquake hits Kobe Japan.
Martha Stewart, Panama, Valdez spills the Exxon,
Chechnya and Sarajevo, Contras in Iran.

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Rwandan genocide, Northern Ireland ceasefire,
Mandela, Tonya Harding, Million Man March.
Tim McVey, Ross Perot, Netanyahu, Bob Dole,
John Paul the Second, Yitzhak Rabin, death of Rosa Parks.

Internet, dot com, William Clinton, Enron,
Hale-Bopp, Albright, Heaven’s Gate suicide,
Tiger Woods, Elian Gonzales, Columbine, Melissa virus,
Monica Lewinsky makes Bill Clinton wanna hide.

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

George Bush Jr., Al Gore, Tiger Woods, Kevorkian,
Vlad Putin, Anthrax, 9/11 attacks.
Taliban is back again, Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan,
Kenneth Lay, IRA, Versace gets whacked.
Weapons of mass destruction, Iraq claiming nuke production,
Saddam Hussein, caught and hanged, what else do I have to say?

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Rumsfeld, Schwarzenegger, Iran, Hurricane Katrina,
Trent Lott, Tom DeLay, Cheney blows his friend away.
American Idol, Paris Hilton, Michael Jackson, Lindsay Lohan,
Guantanamo, YouTube, AIDS, SARS, Bird flu.

U.S. forces on the shores, Iraq’s under martial law
Another flick by Michael Moore, I can't take it anymore!

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

What does he win?

This album - Remember: A Military Appreciation Project by The Right Brothers. Here they are singing Bush Was Right

Words may not have failed Rush Montgomery III, but they sure as hell fail me.