But do the trainers come in tartan?

Splendid news in the fight against obesity, a greater threat to civilisation than global warming or al-Qaeda. Nike has introduced a new training shoe specifically for Native Americans. As well as suffering from more chronic health problems their feet are quite different to those of your average American. People of a cynical disposition, should be made aware that the design of the Nike Air Native N7 "draws inspiration directly from Native American culture". I don't recall Sitting Bull ever wearing big white trainers but Hollywood Westerns only give a distorted round-eyed version of history.

Anyway, as a matter of urgency, we need Nike to come to the rescue of the Scots, the second fattest nation in the developed world, and provide them with culturally specific trainers. The Nike engineers would have to develop extra grip on the soles to prevent kebab-shop greasy-floor slippage, which I have a hunch causes many injuries in Scotland. The fight against flab, a greater terror than al-Qaeda or global warming, requires all our ingenuity.

Robbie Millen

Comments

[Craig, Liverpool]

The term 'Native American' should not be used. Are we to infer that the only natives of the USA are the ones descended from Indian tribes? What about the millions of people who were born there and whose parents, grnadparents etc were also born there? Aren't they native to the country?

[Olga Krause]

Scotland: true home of the brave!