Write a slogan for Scotland

This national motto stuff is catching.

In Scotland Alex Salmond decided the country needed a new slogan. The old one - the best small country in the world - seemed to him to encapsulate the worst of Labour thinking.

So he, apparently, spent over £100,000 to come up with this:

Welcome to Scotland.

Not, er, very inspired. Can you do better?

Post your suggestions here.

Comments

[Simon Stephenson]

I think it's rather good myself. To me it's saying:-

"Here's a polite greeting from this country - no more, no less. Hope you enjoy your stay.

We expect you're be surprised not to have had some attempt made to foist on you what we'd like you to think, but we don't do that any more. We regard mottos, mission statements and any other deliberate soundbites as being expensive, counter-productive and ultimately fruitless attempts to coerce people into thinking something different from that which is actually the case.

We regard such deviousness as an inappropriate way to behave. We're proud enough of our country, and confident enough of its people, to allow you to make up your own mind"

[john enger]

"Scotland living off Emgland for the last 300 years"

[Ben]

surely just Och Aye?

[Jose A Lopez]

“Scotland, where freedom died with William Wallace”

[Andrea J]

Scotland: It's called a kilt, yer numpty.

[r.b. glennie]

"Welcome to Alba - and don't pick up the pennies."

[Charlie. London UK.]

Was it Dr Johnson who said the best thing about Scotland was the high road to England?

[Tom Foster]

Welcome to Scotland - Sponsored by England.

[Colin]

I never pass the previous deplorable slogan without winceing at the thought of how it must be viewed by citizens of other small countries with far better claims to be "The best small country in the world". "Welcome To Scotland" suits me fine. It is plain, polite, and with no gimmicky nonsense. Just the way I would like my country to be seen

[Ted]

Here's my entry: "Freedom's just another word, until you've visited Scotland"

[Mason]

As the State of South Carolina was preparing to secede from the Union in 1860, James Louis Petigru observed that South Carolina was "too small to be a country...too large to be a lunatic asylum." Since Scotland and South Carolina are pretty similar in size, Scotland should feel free to use it. As a slogan, it is rooted in history, memorable, and brings a smile. What more could one want?

[Graeme]

Scotland; where the dole is cool!

[Graeme]

Scotland, You starin at ma bird? Sayin' she's ugly like!

or

Scotland, SQUARE GO!

or

Scotland, 300 years later and now we lose our manager to English gold... what a parcel of rogues...

or

Scotland, what were you thinking?

[Graeme]

Scotland, the only country daft enough to offer free education to Europe!

[Laughing all the way]

Scotland, there are more Scots in other countries than actually live here... what does that say?

[guy]

it should be'you can take our mcewans but ull never take our freedom,oh,u have,balls.'

[Mark]

As they (GG) say on ISIHAC: "You'll have had your tea?".

[rod morris]

Jings, crivvens, help ma boab!

[Torben]

How about that famous Trainspotting line, "We're a nation colonised by wankers"?

[Sarah Law]

"Bri-ga-doon, Brih-hih-ga-doooon..."

[mark]

I agree with Simon - surely we have had enough of spin, personality cults and the like. Plus it is misleading to say this is "all" they came up with as further reading shows.

A simple greeting works for me

[Andy McDonagh]

Scotland - not as tight as you thought!

[Alan Healy]

We've already got one -

Nemo Me Impune Lacessit
.

Disgusted by link on web page - "£100,000 for this ? " followed by pictures of Scottish flags .

A blatant attempt to elicit responses such as that of John Enger .

Shame on you , Thunderer of old .

[Marie]

They could have say something like

"Neither european,neither english,Scotish we are!Semper fidelis."(semper=always,fidelis=faithfull)

(I copied it from a very famous town in Britany....)but this sound good!

[Silver Shred, in the jam jar]

Where's "Emgland" ?

And where's your evidence for the £100k suggestion, Finkelstein?

[David]

I'm with Sir Alf Ramsey on this one.

[ron wilcox]

"Whusky, fooba' fightin'

[Marc Holt]

Scotland soon to be free!!!!

[Tom Smith]

Scotland: Welcome to Britain's Largest Council Estate

[ben]

Inventor of the modern world.

[Archie]

"Hae a drink. Jimmy"

[Matt Smith]

Last one out, switch off the lights

[Alan Lothian]

How about:
"It wisnae me"

Gordon Brown could use it, too.

I write as a Scot; I imagine my English friends will understand my motto.

[neilwp]

Scotland - the land of granite,whisky, tartan and deep fried mars bars

[Jez W]

"Welcome t' ma' caave."

[Eric Reynolds]

At the Border It says Welcome to Scotland(the worste is over!,

[Frank Upton]

Chips for tea, chips on shoulders.

[Martin Pilcher]

Scotland the Brave

[Andrew Sims]

New slogan, "Stop whining, start working" but i dont think it will catch on :)

[Uday S Kulkarni]

I think Scotland is a beautiful country and would have made more progress on its own. Yet it seems sensible to remain as United Kingdom for both England and Scotland.

[Edwin]

You'll Have Had Your Tea

[Riccardo.]

"we're crap and we know it (unlike that lot down south)"

[Richard Watson]

hows about...
Scotland- the 'we almost made it' country.

[R Bingham]

Scotland - On top of it

[Colin of England]

More accurate would be;

'Welcome to Scotland - unless you're English.'

[Colin of England]

More accurate would be;

'Welcome to Scotland - unless you're English.'

[Ken Robertson Oxford]

Three motto suggestions:
1. Essential double-meaning for split Scottish views "Union Blues"
2. "X marks the s(ubsidy)pot"
3. ALBATROSSACHS

[Edmund Burke]

"OK, we can't change the historical fact that the union of England and Scotland was the work of a Scottish king, who inherited the English throne. But come on, folks, how can we make it look like a filthy land-grab on the part of the Sassenachs? Can anyone come up with a motto?

[Paul Smith]

Scotland: come and see where all your hard earned cash has gone.

[Andrew Bremer]

Gimme,gimme,gimme!!!!

[Padwick]

"The home of Mel Gibson's imagination"

[R Bingham]

Scotland - More than just scotch

Scotland - A breath of fresh air

[Simon Moss]

How about taking a leaf out of the Welsh book and adopting the slogan common on road signs all along the English/Welsh border:

Welcome to Scotland, English go home

[Duane Lightley]

Welcome to Scotchland home of the Scotch people. Never Knowingly paid for something without using English tax payers money

[Frankie Cooper]

I think that they should have borrowed from Burns with 'Wha's Like Us?'

[Ann Keith]

Scotland for chips - on your shoulder and fried with Mars bars

[tally]

what's oors is oors and what's England's oors too.

[Chris]

Home of the eternal whine...

[Mirko]

Feel free to stomp on Scotland yards.

[Nick Trench]

Feck off home ya English bastards

[Jim Currie]

Better than labour's old 'Costa Clyde' for goodness sake! But how about borrowing the first line of the old song "There'll always be an England - as Long as Scotland stands"? Nah, nah nee nah nah!!

[Simon Stephenson]

Colin and Mark

Thanks for your support. Modernity will prevail though, I'm afraid.

Still, I suppose that as it's no longer necessary to grow up in order to survive, it's perhaps a good thing that we have become, mentally, a society of teenagers.

[Mr Lachie Todd]

Mr. Thinkelstein has always been a Scotophobe so his anti-Scottish sarcasm is nothing new!

Unlike The News of the S****s, which was left with more than ample amounts of rotten egg on its red-top face, after running a recent pack of lies about Scotland's contribution to the U.K. economy, Oxford Economics, a respected City of London firm of economic
consultants, recently carried out widespread research into this contentious matter and was astounded to find the following:

* Scotland brings in £9593 per head in tax - more than any other part of the U.K., except London!

* In the past financial year, the Scots paid £49 billion in tax with only London, paying more!

*People in the North-East of England claim on average £3284 per head in State Benefits compared to £3086 in Scotland!

Public Spending in Scotland at £9631 per head is lower than London at £9748!

Oxford Economics also found that none of the above statistics include the tens of billions of pounds of corporation tax and associated income from for e.g exploration licences in the U.K. Sector of the North sea which the Treasury has always calculated separately!?

It was also found from interviewing many economists, both in the private and public sector, that Scotland is the 4th best performing part of the
U.K. next to London, the South-East and East of England!

In the last year Scotland's exports increased from £32.8 billions to £41.5 billions which is an astounding sum for such a small nation of 5 million people!

However, the greatest export that Scotland has ever produced is her highly educated and innovative
people, one of whom I suspect rubbed poor Mr. Thinkelstein the wrong way, and he has never forgiven being upstaged?

Wherever the Scots have travelled, Australasia, North America, the African Continent, Japan, China, and England, their adopted lands have benefited from both their remarkable genius, and the Scots remarkable gene pool!

Indeed, I suspect that IF Mr. Thinkelstein was to trawl the CBI
register of large and SME's he would find that a large percentage have Scots CEOs, directors and managers, and many are based in London and the South-East of England! Trust the Scots!

However, I don't think Mr. Thinkelstein will go to these lengths because he wouldn't want the hard facts to get in the way of his
absurd views, would he?

[Ben Bow]

Welcome to the Scotland where men wear skirts and women wear trousers.

[jon]

We take cash!

[iii]

Abandon hope all ye who enter here

[martin hinton]

SCOTLANDS MAIN EXPORTS ARE
OIL AND GORDON BROWN AND THEY WANT THE OIL BACK!!!

[Graeme]

IS THE MODERATOR A RACIST?

[Cameron Ells]

Freedom's Friend

[Alan Addison]

Welcome to the Almost Independent Republic of Salmondia.

[malky y]

you've been warned!

[Frank]

Scotland: where Britain's leaders and scientists are born

[Robert the Bruce]

Welcome to Scotland - we're not so insecure that we need a slogan to make us feel important.

[Guy Cavendish]

How about: "Welcome to We Hate England-land"

or "Scotland: Land of the eternal grudge"

[A. Lear]

I'm alright Jack!

[DickW]

Everyone is welcome in Scotland...

[Jock]

Scotland. Look at the trash we have for neighbours.

[malky y]

this borders on offensive racism

[jim english]

Scotland: The place for people who cant make it anywere else on the planet,

[Graeme]

I'd like to commend Mr Lachie Todd for his comments...keep on hammering this home and quashing the appalling myths that many on this page (one amongst many!) have bought into.

How about, for a slogan,

"DON'T BELIEVE THE NEGATIVE HYPE" ?

[Papa-T]

Scotland: The Original Hill Billy's, or Hill William's or High Landers or whatever....thanks for the country,blue-grass & mountain music anyway.

[Andy]

Mmm, these games are fun aren't they! Can I suggest that next up, we have "write a slogan for blacks" and "write a national motto for Jews".

[K Wells]

Just add " You are" therefore "You are welcome to Scotland"

[Erin Dexter]

You won't be able to understand a word we say, but we're glad to have ya!

[Graeme]

Scotland, We'll set aboot ye!

[Graeme]

Scotland... sending black gold, electricity and water South and getting nothing but abuse and pennies in return!

[Graeme]

Scotland, where the British Empire got it's cannon fodder and where people still like the union, for some weird reason.

[Stan B]

"If it's not Scottish it's CRAP!" (credit to Saturday Night Live)

[Julian Cox]

"Blow your wind southerly."

[Chris]

Scotland, where whining is the national sport.

[dougie]

Scotland, there are more Scots in other countries than actually live here... what does that say?

i think the english could top that statistic also you cant move in edinburgh or the highlands without tripping over an englishman

[John Westrick, St Paul, MN, USA]

How about (in the principal Scot's gaelic dialect, of course!): "First I am, Second I was, Scotland does not change!" Many of you will recognize this as the motto of Chateau Mouton Rothschild after it was elevated to first-growth status in 1973.

[pk]

Scotland
Home of Salmond Lochs and Eggs

[jezz]

just a wee doch n doris just a wee yin tha's a'!

[Why no?]

Scotland, haud yer wheesht!

[Dave P]

Scotland: Insert Subsidy Here.

[david phelps]

"welcome to Scotland - no longer being bled dry by the English parasite (who's 300 year lifespan nears its end)"

or

"no longer shackled to a nation of whinging morons"

[Paul Wade]

Celtic By Nature

[JockeyethaNoo]

Where Scotch folk live

[raph]

Scotland: "Permit Holders Only"

[Bob]

Scots: Famous Grouse

[Twa Recruitin' Sergeants]

Go back to one of the old faithfuls, such as:

"Scots wha' hae wi' Wallace bled, Scots wham Bruce hath often led, welcome to thy gory bed, or tae Victory!"

Or more succinctly:

"Here's tae us wha's like us!"

Or:

"I care ferr naebody, nae, not I, an' naebody cares ferr me."

Or adapt a show tune:

"Cal-edonia, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain!"

"Ev'rything's Up-To-Date In Glasgow City"

Or a clever US-style promo with a saucy double-meaning:

"Scotland: There's A Whole Lot More Beneath Our Kilt!"

[ron wilcox]

FREE SCOTLAND,with every four gallons!

[Peter G]

Scotland! Gateway to the Orkneys!

[Kelly Van Rijn]

Scotland: Home of flat chested, red headed woman- and bad weather!

[Rusty Graham - Australia]

Scotland - Where the Bloody Hell is Your Creativity?

[Benjamin Ou-Yang]

Scotland - "We Stand with pride, We Lived in Truth, We Are Beauty."

I would appreciate if someone would help me with a Gaelic translation of this... it may sound nice (i don't know, perhaps?)

'We stand with pride' because the Scottish are still standing even being conquered. Their hearts are never conquered. THey never bowed to the English. They are who they are.

'We lived in truth' because who know who are oppressors and who are the honourable.

'We are Beauty' sums up everything because not only our land is beautiful, our people are a billion times better than the English.

[Bob Johnston]

This is Scotland - and you're welcome to it! - Bob J

[Doug George]

Welcome to Scotland where everything is paid for by the English.

[Dave Masu]

Sponsored by London.

[Jon C]

Scotland. You are welcome to it.

[craig k]

'Nice to CU Jimmy'

[Dean]

Welcome to Scotland - don't worry, on a windy day you can't really smell the gingas

[A Walton]

Scotland's identity, is being guarding by the Lochness monster.

[Dean]

When in Scotland, do as the Scotch (sic). Get blind drunk and you'll hardly taste the food.

[Dean]

Enjoy Scotland. Every magical day spent here will likely shorten your life expectancy.

[Dean]

Discover Scotland.

Well, at least the shortbread's not bad.

[Charles]

That's not a chip on my shoulder, it's an Englishman.

[Dean]

A wee visit to Bonny Scotland will surely make you feel better about where you live.

[Dean]

Don't dash.

Pebble dash.

[Dean]

Welcome to Glasgow.

Twinned with downtown Beirut.

[ken]

Scotland: Home of the Brave

[Julian Cox]

Welcome to Norway

[Rachel Selliare]

Scotland- the best is yet to come(i.e. drive 3 hours north)

[ken]

Scotland: Home of the Brave

[MB]

I'm surprised no-one's suggested the classic:

"Here's to us, wha's like us? Damn few and they're a' deid!"

or alternatively:

"Welcome to Scotland: you can speak freely now because we hate the English too"

Here's a slogan for England:

"Welcome to England: most hated country in the English-speaking world"

or:

"England: inspiring hatred for 1000 years"

[martinelv]

I spent five happy years at university in Glasgeee, when it was the european city of culture, way back in, erm, 1991. I encountered no anti-english behaviour, ever. But saying that, I was far too scared to leave the student circuit for fear of a severe face slashing. The amount of scots that I encountered with slash marks across their faces was alarming.

[Benzo]

Scotland : Wear the fox hat !

[Benzo]

or how about adapting A. Lears to :
I'm alright Jock !

[Mark D]

Gods Country

[Benzo]

Scotland : Home of the Heavy drinking Ned !

[Benzo]

Is that the best yecandoo ... pal

[Dean]

Scotland: Home of the Brave.

Unless we have to pay our way, then we run scared.

But it's the thought that counts.

[Dean]

Scotland

Hola! to all the Cubans wishing to see Communism in action.

[Dean]

Welcome to Scotland.

Please have consideration for other visitors looking at this museum relic.

All donations ungratefully received

[Dean]

Scotland.

Why?

Answers on a postcard.

[Dean]

Scotland - for when Chernobyl is fully booked.

[Dean]

Scotland

As Sir Sean says "Come visit, because I don't"

[Dean]

Scotland.

Come for the culture.

Be disappointed.

[Johnny Beavers]

We are a bunch are dirty Scottish theives

[Dean]

Scotland

Nobody brews bitter like we can

[Dean]

Welcome to Scotland.

WRONG WAY - you must be looking for International Transit flights.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

[dan]

How do you get a balanced Scotsman? You put a chip on the other shoulder.

[Dean]

Welcome to Scotland.

Subtitles available on Ceefax 888

[Dean]

See Scotland.

Discover Rab C Nesbitt wasn't a charicature.

[Dean]

Easyjet welcomes you to Scotland.

Never mind - at least it was only twenty quid.

[Dean]

Welcome to Scotland

Got any spare change?

[Dean]

Tartan

The best fashion accessory for ginga hair.

[Benzo]

We are not all Heavy drinkers ... some of us like a Whisky instead .

[Dean]

Welcome to Scotland.

Homesick for Albania yet?

[Dean]

Civilisation ends here

[Dean]

Welcome to Scotland

Please adopt local customs and cheer whoever is playing England.

[Dean]

Robert the Bruce.

Proving Scottish housing used to be more appealing, even with the spiders.

[Dean]

Welcome to Scotland

Don't outstay your welcome like we have.

[susan]

Shame that the Pugh cartoon linking to this site substituted the abbreviated notation of you are (you're) for what should have been the possessive notation ("your") in front of "plane" - it wasn't even particularly funny.

[Benzo]

Scotland : A nation with no sense of humour

This just came to me ... I can't imagine why .

[Bob]

I cannot help but be amused by the fact that a page dominated with allegations that all Scots are tight, spongeing, drunken bigots also accuses us of having a chip on our collective shoulder...

[David Simpson]

"English money is welcome - English people are not"

[Robert Carson (Bennie)]

My suggestion is not Scotland Forever but 'Forever Scotland...'
Please forward my fee- cheques welcome.

[Lisa]

"Scotland. Gave the world Adam Smith, John Stuart Mill, John Logie Baird, David Hume, Sir Walter Scott, Alexander Graham Bell and Ewan McGregor. 'Nuf said." or more simply "Scotland. Small country, big brains".
Sadly though, to know who many of these are and their great contribution to society requires more intelligence than many of the posters here possess.

[R Whitehand]

Welcome to Scotland - The land with more chips than a chip shop.

Or, Welcome to Scotland - We're Not English But Happy to use their cash.

Or Welcome to Scotland - The land of Fatties and Early Deaths. But it's all our neighbour's fault.

[Alba]

pog mo thoin, sasunnach

would, I think, sum up most Scots' response to the racist drivel getting churned out here.

Travel tip: try claiming you're Scottish, rather than English, when you're abroad, and see how much better your reception is.

[peter]

how about just: You're welcome to Scotland!

[Graham]

I would have expected better from Times readers, but sadly it's the same repeat-until-funny comments.

Was amused by the English FA's response to the proposed Celtic Cup (although we're not invited, we wouldn't want to play anyway).

[Mike Ryan]

dissenters forever !

[Markham Shaw Pyle]

Assuming Glasgow has a prior claim on 'Feck aff, Jimmy', it's down to the prior suggestion of 'Ye'll hae had yer tay' or, alternately, 'Git stoock in', isn't it.

[Douglas McFarlane]

This is just more racist nonsense by a few small brained journalists who live in London and don't even know what Manchester looks like, far less Scotland! Go and join your friend Kelvin McKenzie over at the Sun, you seem to have the same shallow mentality.

[Abel]

'Scotland ('sgot land) and not much else.

[Graeme]

Welcome to Scotland, you might know this country due to all the scientific discoveries and civilised changes we have brought the world... on the other hand you might not as England always try and take the glory...

PS - more people live in England (48.5 million) than English live abroad or claim English ancestry (39 million). The fact is that almost 35 million Scots or people who claim Scots ancestry live abroad, 7 times as many as live in Scotland so sorry... dougie | 28 Nov 2007 17:38:01... yer wrong pal!

[Julian Cox]

Dulce et decorum est pro patria hootsmoni.

[William]

See you, ya wee bampot.

[Malcolm Walker Bannerman]

A place full of magical history.

[Fitzgerald Smith]

So...yur here. Now feck off.

[Ron]

Alex do everyone a favour,dont keep on talking about it, do it and declare Scotland independent.

[coffeesnob]

this is the third world.

[coffeesnob]

scotland: if lost please return to its owner, england.

[Dean]

Scotland. The North just got even worse.

[Scott Benowitz]

I wrote in to The Times Online with this one three weeks ago in response to Greg Hurst's article about Gordon Brown's proposed national motto contest for the entirety of the United Kingdom- It works just as well here- How about "St. James Gate, Dublin- 1759"- Why not, it works well for Guiness...

[Priscus]

Someone quoted Dr. Johnson's crack about 'the high road into England'.
Notice the context - Boswell (a Scot) heard a good number of Johnson's (supposedly) anti-Scottish remarks, but never went off in a huff. He recognised them as typical English straight-faced humour - Johnson was pulling his leg.
We seem to have lost the art of laughing at all kinds of bigotry - if I were to tell some of the 'xeno-phobic' jokes that we used to tell, only a few years ago, I could very well get a criminal record.
So, I daren't repeat them. Many were based on the Scots' legendary meanness, thriftiness, humourless-ness and (now supposedly increasing?) 'political correctness'. The fashion now allows only mockery of the character-flaws of the English.
I just wonder whether if this posting is printed 'as-is', I shan't find the fuzz feeling my collar.

[Andy]

Welcome to Scotland - where the shoulder chips are biggest.

[coffeesnob]

please don't laugh at our shacks.

[Paul]

Audacity personified

[Gerd]

After having lived in Scotland for 20 years and now living in Thailand my slogan would be

Go back to sleep, Scotland!

[Charles Mitchell]

'You're welcome to Scotland' or perhaps 'Scotland, you're welcome to it'

[miko]

Scotland, nicer than Northern Ireland, marginally.

[Pete]

SCOTLAND--....oh to hell with it, deep down inside we're really English!

[Robert Dalziel]

SCOTLAND - GET IT ROUND YE!

[nabet laurence]

do it! come to Scotland.
do you like it, so tell me.
Just a message from France.

[Stewart Gardener]

Scotland: The Romans built a wall to mark the end of civilization - Nuf said

[Chris Kidd]

Scotland: Alive and well in North America

[MPW]

Oh, this is fun! How about:

"No, you're NOT in Ireland."

"No, we've never seen Nessie."

or,

"Those aren't bagpipes, but keep blowin'!" (hat tip to David Letterman for that one)

[gryff]

For the hard working aspiratinal amongst you, the road to England is over there, and for the lazy work shy, the dole office is over there stuffed with English gold.

[Iain]

How about

"Don't Worry you've left BNP and John Motson behind you....Welcome"

[mark warner]

scotland:turn back now its not to late

[Mike]

Welcome to the Scottish Socialist Republic

[Aussie]

How about:

'This is Scotland'

Behind the slogan would be beautiful images taken from around Scotland. It is a simply message but I feel will evoke memories, emotions and feelings that will be linked directly to Scotland.

Either that or:
'Pint of lager thanks'

[Gareth Young]

The Best Wee Country in the World - thanks to English money

[Jack]

Welcome Tae Scotland

[Iain]

"Scotland. We're liked better than the English.....FACT!"

[Rob]

How about. "Scotland, you're welcome to it." same thing really.

[George Sherston]

How about a paraphrase of John Smeaton?

This is Scotland - we'll set aboot ye.

It's also a fairly good translation of nemo me impune lacessit

[Michael]

Welcome to Scotland
Population: slightly fewer than in the English Parliament

[John Rogerson]

Welcome to Scotland, get a kiss in Glasgow

[David]

Two serious suggestions and one spoof:

1) The blandness of the motto they've come up with could be completely overcome by re-phrasing it: "Scotland welcomes you!". This is genuinely warm and welcoming, and a good advert for Scotland.

2) "Welcome to Bonnie Scotland!" Again, just one word different but makes a world of difference.

3) Spoof: "You are now leaving Britain!"

[Hackney Scot]

What was wrong with "Scotland for me" which I seem to remember from the 80s, which had a cheery wee tune? Appropriated also by wunder-band Belle and Sebastian on some of their teeshirts.

I think we should take the Nats at their word -- all those lengthy postings, attempting to "prove" that England *doesn't* subsidise Scotland - if that's correct, we can scrap the Barnett formula then, and Scotland can be completely self-sufficient? Raise taxes for itself and spend its money how its incredibly clever socialist governors wish?

I was born and grew up on the West of Scotland until I escaped at 23. Nothing, not a pack of wild horses, could drag me back to live in that stifling, smug, horrible culture. Everything you want to know about Scotland can be found in the novels of Andrew O'Hagan.

[Nicola]

Welcome to Scotland suits me just fine, and as a half-breed Scottish/English woman, I'm glad I don't live in either country with people who make such ignorant, stereotyped comments.

[dunlochan]

I'd like to see in Gaelic 'ceud mille failte' and underneath the translation 'a hundred thousand welcomes'. Trouble is no one could pronounce it, but does that matter, we can't pronounce the Welsh or the Breton signs.

Alternatively you could say 'The Scots welcome you'.

[Alan]

Its better than a gallic shrug, its a way of getting things done in an idiosyncratic manner buest summed up as : Scotland - Nae Bother

[Graeme]

Scotland, where if we do well in sports we're British and if we lose at sports we're Scottish.

or

Scotland, no houses on flood planes (unlike our neighbours...)

or

Scotland, only 5 million people and 1 third of the UK land mass, so we're not over crowded (unlike our neighbours...)

or

Scotland, the only country to discover oil and not get rich!

[Graeme]

Scotland, the only country to discover oil and let someone else get rich off it!

[Iain1917]

How about:
'Scotland: Sponsors of England since 1707'; 'Scotland,where England's water, power and oil come from'; 'Scotland: like England, but without the Germans'; 'Scotland: the Brits you can like'. Plenty of scope there. How about some English slogans: 'England: Even less popular than Germany'; 'Come to England: We really don't know the rest of the world despises us'; 'England: We'll rob you blind and then tell you that you owe us for the pleasure'; 'England: We're really crap at sports'. Of course, none of you English will object to any of these because it's only a bit of fun and you don't have a problem over your sense of humour. Oh wait, I forgot, you're all Krauts and don't have a sense of humour, do you?

[Doug]

For somebody so self righteous about any criticism of his own Jewish ethnic group, it seems hypocritical that he'd be encouraging the ridicule of another as he does here.

[Douglas McFarlane]

Enjoy Scotland, freedom from arrogant English attitudes (as displayed by the journalist and respondees to this blog).

[Douglas McFarlane]

I'm going to start one "Write a slogan for England" and we'll see how many of your bloggers enjoy that !

[Peter Jones]

Rabbie Burns - so he does!!!

[Sorcha]

How about Ceud Mille Failte - a hundred thousand welcomes?

[Phill]

Since when have the Scottish been considered a race?
Just another example of Scots loving to dish out abuse of the English but cant take it in return.

Believe me guys, nobody wants Scottish independence more than the English, we're sick to the back teeth of your incessant whining and complaining.
Get lost already!

[Chris]

Scotland: where rudeness counts as wit and they despise everything about the English except the subsidies

[Bill]

Say 'aye' to Scotland!

[Reagan]

"Some like it Scot"

[RAB McClair]

" We're delighted to report that we have no ties with our southern neighbours......and we want to invite you to our celebration party !!! "

[Chloé]

ooh aye, we are the land of Scot!
Tell us that we aren't that great,
we'll say "o load 'o rot!"
most of the time its raining here,
its never very hot,
ooh aye, hey nonny nonny,
we LOVE the land of Scot!!!!!

[Graeme]

If Scotland does gain independence and we leave the EU, then surely it should be something along the lines of...

So long and you should thank us for all the fish!

Slight plagiarism, I know... but the EU does pillage our fish stocks and the UK government does little to protect them.

[adden james]

Scotland: It's like England but more north.

[adden james]

Scotland: Where Harry Potter was really filmed!

[Shorb]

Mountains of Dreams or Carry on up the Sporron

Nope like Mountains of Dreams better. Good luck Scotland:))

[Gwilym Rhys-Jones]

Come back Hadrian. All is forgiven.

[olympian]

"Scotland - A Land Recently Discovered by Mel Gibson"

[William Gruff]

Why not simply: Gi' us mair!

[Alfie the OK - Occupied England]

Scotland, trying to mind our own business, at last.

[Gr8]

Scotland, FYI - Scots are a people, Scotch is a drink, but we're both quite tasty!

(Thanks to Saturday Night Live for that one)

[Felixstowe Fiddler]

Welcome to Scotland

You got a problem with that, pal?

[Stacie Geddes]

SCOTLAND Investors in modern thinking!

[David S.]

Welcome to Scotland,the most Narcissistic Country in the World.

[Strathturret]

The old Jack McConnell slogan was an embarrassment.
Welcome to Scotland is simple, neutral and appropriate.
Objecting about the cost is silly;I could quote Oscar Wilde about people who know the price of everything but...

[Lucifer]

Scotland for the Scots, Get The Brits (Sassenachs) out now!

Saor Alba

Thig Ar Latha

[DK]

How about for England "Oppressive by history, racist by nature"

[Reiver]

Free the border! Gaels and Normans out! Rheged Independence Front.