Write a slogan for Scotland

This national motto stuff is catching.

In Scotland Alex Salmond decided the country needed a new slogan. The old one - the best small country in the world - seemed to him to encapsulate the worst of Labour thinking.

So he, apparently, spent over £100,000 to come up with this:

Welcome to Scotland.

Not, er, very inspired. Can you do better?

Post your suggestions here.

Comments

[Simon Stephenson]

I think it's rather good myself. To me it's saying:-

"Here's a polite greeting from this country - no more, no less. Hope you enjoy your stay.

We expect you're be surprised not to have had some attempt made to foist on you what we'd like you to think, but we don't do that any more. We regard mottos, mission statements and any other deliberate soundbites as being expensive, counter-productive and ultimately fruitless attempts to coerce people into thinking something different from that which is actually the case.

We regard such deviousness as an inappropriate way to behave. We're proud enough of our country, and confident enough of its people, to allow you to make up your own mind"

[john enger]

"Scotland living off Emgland for the last 300 years"

[Ben]

surely just Och Aye?

[Jose A Lopez]

“Scotland, where freedom died with William Wallace”

[Andrea J]

Scotland: It's called a kilt, yer numpty.

[r.b. glennie]

"Welcome to Alba - and don't pick up the pennies."

[Charlie. London UK.]

Was it Dr Johnson who said the best thing about Scotland was the high road to England?

[Tom Foster]

Welcome to Scotland - Sponsored by England.

[Colin]

I never pass the previous deplorable slogan without winceing at the thought of how it must be viewed by citizens of other small countries with far better claims to be "The best small country in the world". "Welcome To Scotland" suits me fine. It is plain, polite, and with no gimmicky nonsense. Just the way I would like my country to be seen

[Ted]

Here's my entry: "Freedom's just another word, until you've visited Scotland"

[Mason]

As the State of South Carolina was preparing to secede from the Union in 1860, James Louis Petigru observed that South Carolina was "too small to be a country...too large to be a lunatic asylum." Since Scotland and South Carolina are pretty similar in size, Scotland should feel free to use it. As a slogan, it is rooted in history, memorable, and brings a smile. What more could one want?

[Graeme]

Scotland; where the dole is cool!

[Graeme]

Scotland, You starin at ma bird? Sayin' she's ugly like!

or

Scotland, SQUARE GO!

or

Scotland, 300 years later and now we lose our manager to English gold... what a parcel of rogues...

or

Scotland, what were you thinking?

[Graeme]

Scotland, the only country daft enough to offer free education to Europe!

[Laughing all the way]

Scotland, there are more Scots in other countries than actually live here... what does that say?

[guy]

it should be'you can take our mcewans but ull never take our freedom,oh,u have,balls.'

[Mark]

As they (GG) say on ISIHAC: "You'll have had your tea?".

[rod morris]

Jings, crivvens, help ma boab!

[Torben]

How about that famous Trainspotting line, "We're a nation colonised by wankers"?

[Sarah Law]

"Bri-ga-doon, Brih-hih-ga-doooon..."

[mark]

I agree with Simon - surely we have had enough of spin, personality cults and the like. Plus it is misleading to say this is "all" they came up with as further reading shows.

A simple greeting works for me

[Andy McDonagh]

Scotland - not as tight as you thought!

[Alan Healy]

We've already got one -

Nemo Me Impune Lacessit
.

Disgusted by link on web page - "£100,000 for this ? " followed by pictures of Scottish flags .

A blatant attempt to elicit responses such as that of John Enger .

Shame on you , Thunderer of old .

[Marie]

They could have say something like

"Neither european,neither english,Scotish we are!Semper fidelis."(semper=always,fidelis=faithfull)

(I copied it from a very famous town in Britany....)but this sound good!

[Silver Shred, in the jam jar]

Where's "Emgland" ?

And where's your evidence for the £100k suggestion, Finkelstein?

[David]

I'm with Sir Alf Ramsey on this one.

[ron wilcox]

"Whusky, fooba' fightin'

[Marc Holt]

Scotland soon to be free!!!!

[Tom Smith]

Scotland: Welcome to Britain's Largest Council Estate

[ben]

Inventor of the modern world.

[Archie]

"Hae a drink. Jimmy"

[Matt Smith]

Last one out, switch off the lights

[Alan Lothian]

How about:
"It wisnae me"

Gordon Brown could use it, too.

I write as a Scot; I imagine my English friends will understand my motto.

[neilwp]

Scotland - the land of granite,whisky, tartan and deep fried mars bars

[Jez W]

"Welcome t' ma' caave."

[Eric Reynolds]

At the Border It says Welcome to Scotland(the worste is over!,

[Frank Upton]

Chips for tea, chips on shoulders.

[Martin Pilcher]

Scotland the Brave

[Andrew Sims]

New slogan, "Stop whining, start working" but i dont think it will catch on :)

[Uday S Kulkarni]

I think Scotland is a beautiful country and would have made more progress on its own. Yet it seems sensible to remain as United Kingdom for both England and Scotland.

[Edwin]

You'll Have Had Your Tea

[Riccardo.]

"we're crap and we know it (unlike that lot down south)"

[Richard Watson]

hows about...
Scotland- the 'we almost made it' country.

[R Bingham]

Scotland - On top of it

[Colin of England]

More accurate would be;

'Welcome to Scotland - unless you're English.'

[Colin of England]

More accurate would be;

'Welcome to Scotland - unless you're English.'

[Ken Robertson Oxford]

Three motto suggestions:
1. Essential double-meaning for split Scottish views "Union Blues"
2. "X marks the s(ubsidy)pot"
3. ALBATROSSACHS

[Edmund Burke]

"OK, we can't change the historical fact that the union of England and Scotland was the work of a Scottish king, who inherited the English throne. But come on, folks, how can we make it look like a filthy land-grab on the part of the Sassenachs? Can anyone come up with a motto?

[Paul Smith]

Scotland: come and see where all your hard earned cash has gone.

[Andrew Bremer]

Gimme,gimme,gimme!!!!

[Padwick]

"The home of Mel Gibson's imagination"

[R Bingham]

Scotland - More than just scotch

Scotland - A breath of fresh air

[Simon Moss]

How about taking a leaf out of the Welsh book and adopting the slogan common on road signs all along the English/Welsh border:

Welcome to Scotland, English go home

[Duane Lightley]

Welcome to Scotchland home of the Scotch people. Never Knowingly paid for something without using English tax payers money

[Frankie Cooper]

I think that they should have borrowed from Burns with 'Wha's Like Us?'

[Ann Keith]

Scotland for chips - on your shoulder and fried with Mars bars

[tally]

what's oors is oors and what's England's oors too.

[Chris]

Home of the eternal whine...

[Mirko]

Feel free to stomp on Scotland yards.

[Nick Trench]

Feck off home ya English bastards

[Jim Currie]

Better than labour's old 'Costa Clyde' for goodness sake! But how about borrowing the first line of the old song "There'll always be an England - as Long as Scotland stands"? Nah, nah nee nah nah!!

[Simon Stephenson]

Colin and Mark

Thanks for your support. Modernity will prevail though, I'm afraid.

Still, I suppose that as it's no longer necessary to grow up in order to survive, it's perhaps a good thing that we have become, mentally, a society of teenagers.

[Mr Lachie Todd]

Mr. Thinkelstein has always been a Scotophobe so his anti-Scottish sarcasm is nothing new!

Unlike The News of the S****s, which was left with more than ample amounts of rotten egg on its red-top face, after running a recent pack of lies about Scotland's contribution to the U.K. economy, Oxford Economics, a respected City of London firm of economic
consultants, recently carried out widespread research into this contentious matter and was astounded to find the following:

* Scotland brings in £9593 per head in tax - more than any other part of the U.K., except London!

* In the past financial year, the Scots paid £49 billion in tax with only London, paying more!

*People in the North-East of England claim on average £3284 per head in State Benefits compared to £3086 in Scotland!

Public Spending in Scotland at £9631 per head is lower than London at £9748!

Oxford Economics also found that none of the above statistics include the tens of billions of pounds of corporation tax and associated income from for e.g exploration licences in the U.K. Sector of the North sea which the Treasury has always calculated separately!?

It was also found from interviewing many economists, both in the private and public sector, that Scotland is the 4th best performing part of the
U.K. next to London, the South-East and East of England!

In the last year Scotland's exports increased from £32.8 billions to £41.5 billions which is an astounding sum for such a small nation of 5 million people!

However, the greatest export that Scotland has ever produced is her highly educated and innovative
people, one of whom I suspect rubbed poor Mr. Thinkelstein the wrong way, and he has never forgiven being upstaged?

Wherever the Scots have travelled, Australasia, North America, the African Continent, Japan, China, and England, their adopted lands have benefited from both their remarkable genius, and the Scots remarkable gene pool!

Indeed, I suspect that IF Mr. Thinkelstein was to trawl the CBI
register of large and SME's he would find that a large percentage have Scots CEOs, directors and managers, and many are based in London and the South-East of England! Trust the Scots!

However, I don't think Mr. Thinkelstein will go to these lengths because he wouldn't want the hard facts to get in the way of his
absurd views, would he?

[Ben Bow]

Welcome to the Scotland where men wear skirts and women wear trousers.

[jon]

We take cash!

[iii]

Abandon hope all ye who enter here

[martin hinton]

SCOTLANDS MAIN EXPORTS ARE
OIL AND GORDON BROWN AND THEY WANT THE OIL BACK!!!

[Graeme]

IS THE MODERATOR A RACIST?

[Cameron Ells]

Freedom's Friend

[Alan Addison]

Welcome to the Almost Independent Republic of Salmondia.

[malky y]

you've been warned!

[Frank]

Scotland: where Britain's leaders and scientists are born

[Robert the Bruce]

Welcome to Scotland - we're not so insecure that we need a slogan to make us feel important.

[Guy Cavendish]

How about: "Welcome to We Hate England-land"

or "Scotland: Land of the eternal grudge"

[A. Lear]

I'm alright Jack!

[DickW]

Everyone is welcome in Scotland...

[Jock]

Scotland. Look at the trash we have for neighbours.

[malky y]

this borders on offensive racism

[jim english]

Scotland: The place for people who cant make it anywere else on the planet,

[Graeme]

I'd like to commend Mr Lachie Todd for his comments...keep on hammering this home and quashing the appalling myths that many on this page (one amongst many!) have bought into.

How about, for a slogan,

"DON'T BELIEVE THE NEGATIVE HYPE" ?

[Papa-T]

Scotland: The Original Hill Billy's, or Hill William's or High Landers or whatever....thanks for the country,blue-grass & mountain music anyway.

[Andy]

Mmm, these games are fun aren't they! Can I suggest that next up, we have "write a slogan for blacks" and "write a national motto for Jews".

[K Wells]

Just add " You are" therefore "You are welcome to Scotland"

[Erin Dexter]

You won't be able to understand a word we say, but we're glad to have ya!

[Graeme]

Scotland, We'll set aboot ye!

[Graeme]

Scotland... sending black gold, electricity and water South and getting nothing but abuse and pennies in return!

[Graeme]

Scotland, where the British Empire got it's cannon fodder and where people still like the union, for some weird reason.

[Stan B]

"If it's not Scottish it's CRAP!" (credit to Saturday Night Live)

[Julian Cox]

"Blow your wind southerly."

[Chris]

Scotland, where whining is the national sport.

[dougie]

Scotland, there are more Scots in other countries than actually live here... what does that say?

i think the english could top that statistic also you cant move in edinburgh or the highlands without tripping over an englishman

[John Westrick, St Paul, MN, USA]

How about (in the principal Scot's gaelic dialect, of course!): "First I am, Second I was, Scotland does not change!" Many of you will recognize this as the motto of Chateau Mouton Rothschild after it was elevated to first-growth status in 1973.

[pk]

Scotland
Home of Salmond Lochs and Eggs

[jezz]

just a wee doch n doris just a wee yin tha's a'!

[Why no?]

Scotland, haud yer wheesht!

[Dave P]

Scotland: Insert Subsidy Here.

[david phelps]

"welcome to Scotland - no longer being bled dry by the English parasite (who's 300 year lifespan nears its end)"

or

"no longer shackled to a nation of whinging morons"

[Paul Wade]

Celtic By Nature

[JockeyethaNoo]

Where Scotch folk live

[raph]

Scotland: "Permit Holders Only"