Top ten Gordon Strachan ripostes

The other day, monitoring the football scores on the internet, I came across a fabulous riposte to a journalist by footballer manager Gordon Strachan:

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?" Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Then, searching for a link to the Strachan comment, I discovered he makes a habit of it.

Here are my ten favourite:

1. On Wayne Rooney : It's an incredible rise to stardom, at 17 you’re more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.

2. Reporter: Can I ask you about Augustin Delgado [an underperforming player Strachan had purchased for Southampton] Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Augstin Delgado.

3. Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around? Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I’m useless."

4. Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result? Strachan: You’re spot on! You can read me like a book.

5. Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you? Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you’re spot on there.

6. Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it? Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

7. Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up? Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

8. Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie [one of Strachan's players] deserves to be in the England squad? Strachan: I dont care, I'm Scottish

9. Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon? Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

10. Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today? Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there….

Comments

[Hadleigh Roberts]

I'm no football fan, but that man's "spot on!"

[Duncan]

My favourite:

BBC employee: 'Garth Crooks is out on the pitch waiting to interview you'

Strachan: 'Tell him to start asking his question and i'll be out in five minutes...'

[Alan]

I used to love watching him on Soccer AM but I'm willing to bet ALL these comments are before he came to Celtic. He seems to have lost his sense of humour since he came up here.

[Alex]

The 'velocity' joke was told on Five Live just the other day but ascribed to an old Manchester United captain, I forget his name but I think its from the 70s. So either Gordon was copying that joke, or its been wrongly attributed, or its a bit of a footballing urban legend.

[Frank]

Martin Buchan was the Man U captain who uttered the "velocity" joke many years ago. Strachan could well have been aware of his fellow Scot's remark.

[Dr Richard Goldberg]

He should cut out the repostes and get on with his job of managing Celtic

He is under pressure big style

[Bill Walsh]

The velocity quip is from Martin Buchan, a Scot (and Man U captain for most of the late 70s), and that's almost certainly where Strachan got it.

[Minton]

On the contrary Duncan, Gordon Strachan hasn't lost any of his humour since coming to Celtic.

It's more the case that many in the Scottish media seem to be less able to deal with Gordon Strachan's humour now than many of their colleagues in the media in England, and so his comments rarely gets reported as being humour.

Many Celtic fans still enjoy Strachan's comments to reporters though, even if some in the media don't.

[nick]

I have always found Strachan's willingness to accept that his team have lost to a better one very refreshing.
Even more refreshing is his obvious unwillingness to "perform" for the cameras and dignify the mindless and puerile questioning of interviewers with a response full of the usual cliches and platitudes.
Watching assorted managers performin in post match interviews I am increasingly suspicious that they are just playing a part and responding as expected. Arsene Wengers oft repeated "I did not see it" is now just a joke. We know it's a joke, he knows it's a joke. The only ones who don't are the press and TV interviewers.
Strachan knows full well that there are more important things than football and better things to do with his time, even if it is only ensuring strict date rotation in his fridge.

[sandy]

The scene is a BBC studio.It's half-time in an important World Cup match between 2 countries ,neither of which are from the UK.

After a couple of minutes discussion of the first half the conversation moves on to the subject of what changes should or should not be made by England's manager for their next match.

Time moves on and it's almost time for the second half to begin.Gary Lineker turns to Gordon Strachan,who has sat silently through the discussion,and asks him "What would you do Gordon?"Strachan says "It's nothing to do with me ,I'm not English." Lineker persists."Yes but if you were English,what would you do?"
"What would I do if I was English," comes the reply.
"If I was English I'd top myself."

[NEIL]

No wonder Buchan used that line he was out of Burnley at the speed of light , bottling pre season when he was our shortest ever serving manager, Gutless was more appropriate for him .But still we now have Owen Coyle to take us up.

[Big Dan]

Another one attributed to Strachan.

Reporter ....so Gordon..what was your impression of the Barca attack..particularly E'Too ?

GS " I dont do impressions !"

[Colum Deignan]

I think Mr. Strachan also made a classic quip when he was manager of Coventry who hadn't won away from home for nearly/over a year, after their first away victory the reporter asked something along the lines of 'Gordon, what changes did you make to the team to gain your first away win in over a year?' Strachans' reply was simple yet classic 'We sacked the bus driver'

[Club67]

strachan is as funny as ever! now give us 3 in a row and you will be the man hail hail!!

[follow follow]

hail hail !! ? weather forecast ?

[Billy Boy..Aka BJK]

He wont be laughing come the end of the season....Smarmy Wee Git..

[ptw]

What we need are more Strachanisms; and less of the crap from the blue bigots on this thread. Go on WGS, get right intae them. C'mon the loop-the-loops!!

[john doe]

anybody that even remotely think strachans funny are as ignorent as what he is

[DAVID LYONS]

gordon starachan is a funny guy.. or we wouldnt be talking about him here would we? can someone please show me walter's top ten loines please? im still waiting..

strachan also knows how football should be played, none of this 1 up front carry on.

[Donny D]

"Billy Boy..Aka BJK"... sad, sad Bigot....

ps We'll all be laughing at the end of the season....

[Duncan T]

When Strachan was a pundit he made a "witty" remark about Aiden McGeady, a Scots-born player who has chosen to play for the Republic of Ireland. Strachan said he would string McGeady up for what he clearly saw as an act of treachery. I wonder what he thinks on the subject now he's McGeady's manager at Celtic?

[GGR]

Having read some of the comments on this thread, it looks like it some Celtic fans that have lost their sense of humour.
The wee man is still the most entertaining football interviewee in Scotland. Other than Jim Jeffries' moaning, that is.

[BeeGee]

Not being a football club supporter I think it is refreshing when a football manager, who all seem to take themselves too seriously, shows a sense of humour. Now that David Coleman (balls) has gone we need Strachanisms.