Can you write an oath of allegiance?

So Lord Goldsmith wants us all to start swearing the oath of allegiance, does he?

Well I think we should help him, don't you?

Not just with that, but with the idea of "re-energising" citizenship ceremonies, perhaps by inviting schoolchildren to come along and sing We Are The World. (I did not make this up).

So. Can you write an oath of allegiance? Or think of alternative ways to "re-energise" the citizenship ceremony?   

Comments

[Ben Cooper]

I pledge allegiance to the ASBO,
the Identity Card and Giro.
And the country for which it stands,
One nation, under CCTV,
With violence and bingeing for all.

[Heather_B]

"I pledge my allegiance to the people of the United Kingdom, to respect, tolerate and understand them. I further pledge to act responsibly as a citizen of this country meeting my obligations where necessary and exercising my freedoms when required."

[clive smith]

Politicians,BBC journalists and immigrants may need to take an oath of alleigance but dont involve the silent majority who are quite patriotic enough thanks very much. Let the political class and the immigrants learn to live together and stop bringing everyone else down to their level. They deserve each other in so many ways.

[Arundel]

I swear (often) not to dis that Queen woman an' show respek to somefin else.
What?
Oh, the flag an' at.

Innit.

[Brian Harris]

"I pledge allegiance, to the flag of the United Kingdom. And to the Republic for which it stands. One nation, under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all." Might sound a bit familiar to Americans.

[Margaret on the Guillotine]

This will end up the way of the "British motto", which I believe the Times ripped the Michael out of not so long ago.

Brown really doesn't get what it is to be British, does he? It isn't about American-style oaths of allegiance to the flag, or little Stars and Stripes lapel badges or flagposts in the front garden. It's about a quiet sense of pride, "patriotism" as opposed to "nationalism".

[Neil]

I [insert name] do hereby pledge my allegiance to the Crown and to the government of Her Majesty.

I shall engage in the political process, which Her Majesty's government have decreed constitutes voting for them and shutting up in the meantime.

I shall not drink, over-eat, gamble, have fun or engage in any behaviour not advocated by Comrade...Her Majesty's government.

I swear to pledge allegiance to Her Majesty until such a time that I am required to pledge my undying devotion to President d'Estaing.

[Andrew Garcarz]

My Oath -

I promise that I will honour my country and my flag,
I will conduct my self with dignity and respect and I will uphold the principles of justice, fair-play, freedom and mercy my whole life long

[Huw Sayer]

Any truly British pledge should probably go something like this (unless you want us all wearing lederhosen and well pressed arm-bands!).

I pledge never to doff my cap or tug my forelock to any flag, institution or person just because they hold a title, rank or office of authority - I pledge to ask awkward questions - to challenge illiberal laws - and to fight my corner. I pledge to remind politicians and bureaucrats that they are public servants and are therefore answerable to the people (they are not our leaders, our bosses or our jailers) - I will choose when and whether to defend this country, its laws and its institutions (and reserve the right to attack them in word and spirit if I think that they fail to serve the interests and protect the freedoms of the people) - that said, if I see a better hole I will go to it.

[Jez W]

Ok,

I have a winner. Picture this;

Jamacian steel band, drumming in the background and in the foreground several Asian dancers, exactly like what used to be between the programmes on BBC1.

Have two huge posters behind all this;

one with Nelson Mandela on it (AK47 descretionary)

and on the other, Gandi in his loin cloth in a sit down protest of some sort.

In Swahili- or whatever, the new citizen says.... er, well anything really-

they can't speak English you see...

and to end it all three guys will walk on and slaughter an upside down horse or something, whilst relaying a verse toward a God of some relevance to the corner of the globe they've all come from.

Now you can't say that'll offend anyone, can you?

New Labour. New Britain. Yeah!

[Robey Jenkins]

"In the name of democracy, equality and history, that are the foundations of this country I am proud to call my own, I swear allegiance to the Crown of the United Kingdom, promising my loyalty, my commitment and my utmost in its service. Let this oath sit upon my heart in perpetuity, keeping me ever mindful of my obligations to my neighbour, my nation and my world."

Note that "this country" may equally be any part of the United Kingdom or its entirety, entirely at the discretion of the oath-taker.

[robert everitt]

Does Daniel think this has anything to do with Britishness ?
It's just Brown closing a flank that is exposed to the West Lothian question.Labour has lost Scotland for now and we might wake up to the fact that England, which does not have it's own Government, is run by people who's seats are in another country and call themselves,when convienient, Scots.
No doubt Daniel imagines that yesterdays headline about the troops ,underfunded by Brown,wearing their uniforms in public was to be taken at face value.The ban in Peterborough was a year ago and was resurected and trumpeted by Brown so he could lead all in praise of the people he has consistantly ignored.
One would expect journalists to display some of their legendary cynicism, especially when the "face"of these initiatives claims to have a moral compass.

[Mark]

Here's our song about the pledge of allegiance. Perhaps it suits the mood better than We are the World.

>I pledge allegiance to the flag
>It flies so high above this pilfered land
>Driven through the hearts of men
>I pledge allegiance to the flag

>Our consciences remain unfazed
>Despite the genocidal wars we wage
>Cover the past with shopping malls
>And pledge allegiance to them all

>Where's the equality we seek
>Take it from the strong and give it to the weak
>Take a good look at their rags
>And pledge allegiance to your flag

Have a listen: http://www.reverbnation.com/unitednation

I pledge allegiance, to the flag of the United Kingdom and its commonwealth. One flag, one nation, indivisible, under God and the Queen.

[Mikey]

"I am British through and through, with values of justice, decency and tolerance that no filthy foreigner can match"

[C Addison]

How about:
"I promise never, never, never to be a slave: although, I may ocasionally wave the rules".

[Rachel Titley]

Just adapt the guide promise a bit.
"I Promise that I will love my fellow man (or deity of your own choice)
Serve the Queen and the country and uphold the laws and ordenances of this country and the rights of my fellow countrymen."

Even add "Do a good deed every day" if you really want to.

[John Price]

I pledge to respek de Queen an not to carry de gun an not to nick stuff coz I is to bone idle to work an not to drain the country of its resources dat de residents have spent all der lives working and payin de taxes fer,an not to do drugs.An if you believe dat den the more fool you.Which way de dole office.

[Sam B]

I pledge to never commit any action that acknolwedges the people as a servant of the Government, instead of the Government as a servant of the people. This including reciting Government-approved pledges.

I pledge that if forced to take this pledge, I will respond "I do not so pledge, because I alone define my identity as an Englishman, as a man and as a free soul, and I deny absolutely any power of the government to dictate my identity."

I pledge that I will instruct my children to do the same, encourage my friends likewise, and educate any immigrants that have already been mislead into taking this pledge that Britain is more than a red line on the map reading "Gordon Brown Is Allowed To Levy Taxes Within This Area".

[Ray Turner]

I, Fred Bloggs, pledge to my fellow British citizens, whatever their race, political, religious or sexual orientation that I will respect their right to live a peaceful and prosperous life in this country and that I will appreciate their mutual respect which collectively allows everybody to live their lives harmoniously and to the full.

[Jim]

"O Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, and our own most gentle Queen and Mother, look down in mercy upon England, thy Dowry, and upon us all who greatly hope and trust in thee. Through thee it was that Jesus our Saviour and our Hope was given unto the world; and he hath given thee to us that we might hope still more. Plead for us thy children, whom thou didst receive and accept at the foot of the Cross, O sorrowful Mother. Intercede for our separated English brethren, that they may be united with us in the one true Fold. Pray for us all, dear Mother, that by faith fruitful in good works, we may all deserve to see and praise God together with thee in our heavenly home. Amen."

[Hugh]

I promise not to give a tinkers damn about anyone except myself. In particular:

(1) I will exercise my rights without regard to responsibilities.

(2) I will cheerfully betray my friends, family and the people of Britain in return for which I require their respect, support and protection.

[steven]

I pledge my......... zzzz, arn't we subjects rather than citizens anyway?

(not impressed with the whole thing, obviously..)

[Mark T]

al·le·giance /əˈlidʒəns/ –noun 1. the loyalty of a citizen to his or her government or of a subject to his or her sovereign

You won't see me swearing allegiance to this Government thankyou
The Queen no problem

[A Patriot]

I vow with my whole heart and my whole mind, my service of loyalty to this land of Great Britain and its Queen.

I vow to be their shield if it is required, I vow to be their sword if it is asked.

I vow, that I will uphold Great Britain until the day I die. I vow that I will hold the Union Flag high until it is prized from my cold, dead hands.

[TGR]

This is a serious point, that anybody who lived through the period from 1933 to 1945 or who watches the History channels will remember.

What if the Oath were as follows ?

"I swear by God this sacred oath that I shall render unconditional obedience to ........, the Leader of the British Empire and people, supreme commander of the armed forces, and that I shall at all times be ready, as a brave soldier, to give my life for this oath."

Enough said ?

[Gordon Brown]

"I do hereby acknowledge the sovereign right of the Scottish people to determine the form of Government best suited to their needs, and do hereby declare and pledge that in all our actions and deliberations their interests shall be paramount."

[Lily H]

This whole oath thing smacks of insecurity. Mottos, flags, the whole shebang is just a bit unnecessary.

I think Hoffa says it best: "The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his own self, the more ready he is to claim excellence for his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause."

So no, no oath for me. I exercise my right as an Englishwoman to say bugger off to that, we're fine as we are.

[McGovernment]

I swear allegiance to Wales, Northern Ireland but foremost to Scotland. I promise to use the term 'The Regions' when referring to the nation formerly known as England. I swear to use her, to deride and abuse her, to insult and accuse her, forever and ever...oche aye!

[Georgie]

Oh, that I were a Brit and could have the wish of my heart! To be again a countryman with all my severed parts.

'Tis nobleness to be a lout and not a prince today. I only hope to wake in time to have a cup 'o tay.

I'll sit me down and rest awhilst the politicians flee, from their sweet romps in London Town and Thames down by the sea.

The only pledge for me: I will not pledge to government but to this idee...."Marvels are many but Man is the greatest", not government.

[Dr. H. William Winstanley]

I swear allegiance to the United Kingdom of Great Britain and to the Crown.
I promise that I will serve and honour my country and my flag. That I will conduct my self with dignity and respect. I will uphold the principles of British justice, fair-play, freedom and mercy my whole life long. God Save the Queen.

[Linda]

Don't do it, folks. You don't know what you're getting into. The [US] Pledge of Allegiance, which started out as an innocent article in an issue of *St. Nicholas*(a children's magazine) around the turn of the 20th century, was co-opted by the US legislature, and has caused endless trouble ever since - from adolescents mumbling it in assemblies with no interest in or concept of its meaning, to naive children who thought there really should be liberty and justice for all and who wouldn't say the pledge because they saw none, to busybody adults who continue to row over the addition in the 1950's of the "under God" phrase and who don't believe in God, or believe in God but not that one, or think everyone should believe, that saying it would make that so, and that everyone trying to have it removed is (nasty word) unAmerican. [pause for breath] Thankfully, militant atheists finally forced the elimination of the Generic Public School Prayer "Almighty God/We acknowledge our dependence upon thee/And beg thy blessings upon us/Our parents/Our teachers/And our country/Amen", said in a brainless monotone at every assembly.

[Well Educated Professional Ex-pat]

"Will the last one to leave remember to put the lights out and lock up."

[Simon]

Politicians eff off.

[Mary, Milton Keynes]

Oaths may impress, but deeds of loyalty are most meaningful.

[Gavin, Southampton]

Aruguably the greatest historian of our age, Eric Hobsbawm, cited both an intensification of nationalism in homogenised European and global community, and the shortage of people willing to kill, or die, for their country in modern times, awareness of affairs, as conflicting challenges for 21st Century governors of states.

And here we are, the army recruiting outside of Universities and an Oath of allegiance proposed upon adolescents before they can grasp an understanding of the aged politics that define a nation.

The world is getting smaller, and people are conscious of it.
If a government doesn't protect its borders, it cannot expect its youth to swear by them

[pk]

"some hae meat an cannae eat
while some hae none anwant it

We hae meat and can eat
say the lord be thankit"

Some wee Scot fellow wrote it

[SK]

I pledge to respect my fellow citizens, the British cultural heritage, its customs, Parliament and the law. I will participate in democratic elections, work hard and be faithful to the values of kindness, fairness and honesty.

[Louise]

I pledge my allegiance to the Queen and to hell with the Government who steals my taxes.

[Vic Ladd, Boynton Beach, Florida, USA]

They removed the use of God in the US pledge, and next probably the oath itself if liberals here have thier way and have it is considered a prayer by law.

I would hate to hear 50 oaths here, what makes our parent country the UK a great sovereign, is the unity of the colors on your flag and what it signifies. You as we, are made up of all great peoples united for the same causes. Don't fix whats not broke!

[Di Millman]

How about "yeah, whatever......`/`'

[Mack Hall]

Don't plan on saying it in English.

[Scott Benowitz]

Didn't we already answer this back in this past December- Somebody submitted "Dipso Fatso Asbo Tesco"- Just toss in a couple of references to God and Crown and you've now got it--

[Peter Farrington]

When is the Prime Minister going to let us celebrate St George's Day as a national holiday? Perhaps if he supported such a move his efforts to encourage us to be more patriotic might seem less hypocritical. As far as I can see he and New Labour have spent the last 11 years trying to prevent English people having any pride in our nation and history.

[CH]

The Government can start by making St George's Day a public holiday, recalculate the Barnett formula and then ban Scottish MPs voting on English matters, thereby solving the West Lothain Question. Only once the disparities in the Union are ironed out will i be proud to take an oath and call myself British.

[Tom Freeman]

"I'll see what I can do."

[david G Jones]

I pledge my allegiance to this planet and the universe that it is a piece of. I dedicate my energy to serving the nation and its people that for the moment harbour me. I commit myself to being a continuous learner, a patient observer and an unselfish contributor. As I am homo sapiens, I will accept nothing that is not evident and proven. I will not suffer those who thrive on, and promote delusion and false expectation for their own gain. I am grateful for my existence, and tireless in my gratitude. D. Jones. Wales and Canada

[Daniel Blackburn]

I do pledge alligiance
To Sid Vicious and Jarvis Cocker
Let's give rebels a chance eh?

[Daniel Blackburn]

I do hereby abandon my right
to think what I like
By being forced
To Pledge Alligiance
To anyone
As well as the Queen.

[Sarah C]

I pledge aliegence to the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britian and Northern Ireland. May my taxes, my inherience when my lawyer cannot find my relatives when I am dead, my old fashioned buildings, my money, the money to the Diana inquest, the column inches and the diamonds on your crown. Belong to you. Amen.

[tom atkins]

I (name) pledge my allegiance to my Queen and to my country Great Britain, to defend its laws and constitutions. So help me God.

[Steve Jones]

...and what will be done with the people who refuse to swear this "Oath of Allegiance?"
Nothing. of course!
This is just political piffle. The BBC used to be above reporting hares set by politicians, but now it believes it should give space to anything the government wants aired.
Andrew Gilligan, anything to say?

[Andrew Milner]

Oath of Allegiance? To what or whom, exactly? Surely swearing allegiance to the monarch is a risk too far for Gordon Brown's Socialist government. Keep in mind the Civil War, when the forces of Parliament and King Charles I fought a bloody civil war. Many that couldn't stomach either "wrong but romantic" or "right but repulsive" emigrated to seek their fortune in the new North American Colonies. Now that really was having the courage of their convictions.
When I first raised the issue of potential revolution or insurrection in UK some 10 years, this notion was dismissed out of hand. What do you think now?
But except to football supporters, the notion of jingoistic patriotism, nationalism has become so last season. Loyalty to what? Allegiance to whom? While it's not yet "every man for himself", Titanic UK has been holed below the waterline. You still have a choice of lifeboat, but don't take too long deciding.

[Chris]

1. I will maintain candour and fidelity in love and devotion to the tried friend: though he strike me I will do him no scathe.
2. I will never make wrongsome oath: for great and grim is the reward for the breaking of plighted troth.
3. I will deal not hardly with the humble and the lowly.
4. I will remember the respect that is due to great age.
5. I will suffer no evil to go unremedied and to fight against the enemies of Land, Folk and Family: my foes I will fight in the field, nor will I stay to be burnt in my house.
6. I will succour the friendless but to put no faith in the pledged word of a stranger people.
7. If I hear the fool's word of a drunken man I will strive not: for many a grief and the very death groweth from out such things.
8. I will give kind heed to dead men: straw dead, sea dead or sword dead.
9. I will abide by the enactments of lawful authority and to bear with courage the decrees of the Norns.

[Gareth Price]

National Anathema

(to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

Dear Lizzy with her pox’ed clan,
So like us, we’re all smiles,
The cast of Shameless but with some dosh,
Prince Andy with Air Miles.

I’m white, and British, and for me
I refuse to get a job,
I’ll leave it to the foreigners
While I go out and rob

These Poles you see, they’ve raised the game,
And the minimum wage as well,
I’ll let them pick the vegetables,
For on our streets, crack I’ll sell

I’m not against the immigrant,
Far from it, you can see,
A simple man, all I need
Is my Giro, and chips for tea

I’ll serve my Queen, I won’t question
The injustice I see around,
But look at me the wrong way mate,
And I’ll knock you to the ground

I’ll drink my Stella, beat my wife,
Ask not what I can do for thee,
I’ll hate the immigrant, salute the flag,
But the state provides for me.

Gareth Price

[bill inch]

I vow to keep paying through the nose for all the policies the goverment come up with to break down society. And to keep funding the usless parts of said society until no one but myself will find working worthwhile

[Fergs]

I solemnly swear, that I will uphold the virtues of drinking foreign lager while bemoaning the numbers of foreigners in our national sport while eating our national dish which is from the sub-continent. I shall also swear to mutter under my breath at anyone pushing into a queue, unless it is Christmas Eve, in which case I shall complain to the manager that I have had to queue on the busiest shopping day of the year.

[Dave]

"I swear not to do anything a politician wouldn't do."

There, nice and easy.

[Jimmy]

I pledge to stand quietly in line, and to never push in, even if I'm in quite a bit of a hurry.
I pledge to grumble about about the weather, but not so much as to upset other people.
I pledge to be annoyed by things in restaurants, but when asked how the meal is I will always reply 'oh lovely!'
I pledge allegiance to the rich tea biscuit, the most superior of dunkers.
I pledge to like cricket. Or at least look interested.
I pledge to be slightly uncomfortable with physical contact.
I pledge to defend justice by tutting at things or signing petitions.
I pledge to be suspicious of Europe.
One nation for all, under tea ,(or a hot beverage of your choice), if you fancy it.

[Fiona]

"God save the Queen, the fascist regime..."

[DLL]

I swear allegiance to the Queen, to the United Kingdon of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and its constitutionally elected Government and to its people. I undertake never to take up arms against any of them and to honour the freedoms that come with citizenship. As part of this great nation, I will respect the individuality of others, accept and obey the laws that govern our lives and will contribute to society in a way that harms no one, but benefits all. I acknowledge that I am part of a greater society and that my needs may sometimes need to be set aside for the good of all. Above all, I am proud to be British (Irish).

[Mark Mercer]

I pledge, as a citizen of the United Kingdom that I will faithfully and fully comply with the newly up and coming imposition of Sharia Law throughout the Kingdom. I will uphold British pessimisim, I will hate and loath the United States, I will support unlimited immigration from Islamic countries and finally I will do nothing to reject the leftists who have destroyed this once great and proud nation! So help me....Allah?

[Alan]

It would have to be in Urdu these days. Vee 'British' have it as our main language.

[Matt James]

I faithfully promise to always accept second best in everything from transport, education, heathcare.
I will find fighting, puking and mooning socially acceptable.
I will never accept reponsibility for my own actions, but blame someone else -usually an immigrant.
I will be daft enough to pay over the odds for everything that the rest of the world will see me as weak.
I will be a legend in my own lunchtime and remind people of two world wars and '66.

Hope I haven't left too much out.

[mitch]

Gordons a fool! if you have to ask what being British means then you just don't understand.

[Robin Hunter, Sutton, UK]

I swear my allegiance to the Queen
The best group I have ever seen

Brian May and Freddie

Now to be British I am ready

[Jovan Weismiller]

This works for Canada, with appropriate changes:

"I swear (or affirm) that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, Her Heirs and Successors, and that I will faithfully observe the Laws of the United Kingdom and fulfill my duties as a British citizen."

God Save the Queen!

[Andy]

I swear an oath of allegience to all those Latte Drinking Liberals who have dragged this country down and taken a huge backward step in democracy

[Warrior]

I pledge allegiance to all the things that make living in the UK worthwhile, i.e. my, German car, Swedish furniture, Japanese TV, Korean DVD player, French wine, Argentinian beef, Russian Vodka, favourite Chinese takeaway, favourite Indian restaurant, Irish Guinness, new zealand lamb, South African rugby, Brazilian coffee, Bangladeshi tea, Iraqi Oil and of course the Afghan poppies so lovingly restored by our democratic actions in the Region.

What a place

[Annie Maxton]

I pledge myself to serving a force for change. To bring a bankrupt and despondent country into the twenty-first century (albeit eight years late) and in doing so rid us of the Disneyland existence of residents who frequent Buck House and other homes for parasites and attempt to find them all good paying honest labour jobs. I pledge to bring dignity to our poor and illeterate nation and provide health-care to all and to give our seniors the country they fought for, free from squalor I pledge to work for all of those things and to design a flag that does not perpetutae our past.

[Heiko Khoo]

I swear allegiance to those who watch the cameras.

[steve tea]

I promise to be sujubgated by a unfair tax system that fails to meet the demands of the world for free housing, free education, free healthcare and free social security. I swear my oath to the politicians who have their own best insterests at heart and who's overall package rises above inflation and futher to this I will show respect to all the tax dodgers in the Royal Family who do not pay tax propionate to their wealth.

[carl]

i pledge allegiance to SONY and PLAYSTATION3. We will defeat the wii and the 360 ALL HAIL PLAYSTATION 3 the only reason to stay alive in this rubbish depressing country.

[Bry Barnes]

I promise to pay my Taxes.
I promise to pay my Taxes.
I promise to pay my Taxes.
I promise to pay my Taxes.
I promise to pay my Taxes.
I promise to pay my Taxes.
I promise to pay my Taxes.
I promise to pay my Taxes.
.....
And spill my blood so as those in Government can profit by it.

[Tony Robinson]

The people who are forcing the "EU" upon us would have broken any worthwhile oath of allegiance, so what is the point?

If they ever point a gun to my head and make me swear an oath of allegiance to the "EU" I will do so. I just won't mean it.

[Faustino]

I pledge allegiance to truth, honesty, integrity, selflessness and compassion.

No need to sully this with sectional interests.

[Ian Kemmish]

I reckon Baden-Powell came up with a pretty neat one.

And I once had to swear an oath of fealty to the Master of Trinity College, Cambridge. I'm not sure if he's planning a coup, though....

[Henry Percy]

F*** you, F*** you, F*** you, F*** you; I am British.
An alternative oath of allegiance.

[Candace]

For England at least, how about a passage from Shakespeare's Richard II:

This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

[Rulley]

The british,
the british,
the british are best,
and
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest.

(Flanders and Swann)

[Deborah Parr]

I promise faithfully never, ever, ever to vote Labour again.

[James]

I promise to vote Labour, to pledge my allegiance to glorious socialist revolution and to whoever the Labour National Executive Committee decides to make Prime Minister.

[Anthony Asbury]

I can think of no better source than the Magna Carta. This would give us something like:

I swear to remember that the rights and freedoms I enjoy were won by blood and sacrifice. I will honour this sacrifice by defending these rights and freedoms so that they can be given to the future.

I swear to remember that the power government is my power and must always be kept within my reach.

I swear to ensure that justice must be given to all or it cannot be given to me and mine.

The relevant articles in Magna Carta:

We have granted also, and given to all the Freemen of our Realm, for Us and our Heirs for ever, these Liberties under-written, to have and to hold to them and their Heirs, of Us and our Heirs for ever.

THE City of London shall have all the old Liberties and Customs which it hath been used to have. Moreover We will and grant, that all other Cities, Boroughs, Towns, and the Barons of the Five Ports, and all other Ports, shall have all their Liberties and free Customs.

NO Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned, or be disseised of his Freehold, or Liberties, or free Customs, or be outlawed, or exiled, or any other wise destroyed; nor will We not pass upon him, nor condemn him, but by lawful judgment of his Peers, or by the Law of the Land. We will sell to no man, we will not deny or defer to any man either Justice or Right.

[John Ledbury]

If I ever become prime minister I will respect the Ballot. I will strive to get myself elected by party or by my own country, or by the one I claim to lead. And if I promise a vote I will keep that promise. I will not be a mere squatter at No 10.

[Gareth Williams]

I swear allegiance to the principle of freedom where an individuals can think for themselves and so long as they are not harming others live their lives as they so wish without being encouraged to swear allegiance to anyone else especially a control freak government or unelected monarchy

[SWF]

I promise to go into other countries, consume a skinful of alcohol and fast food, vomit, gesticulate, expose myself and generally threaten violence to the peacable burghers in my own language, not theirs until I am deported to my rightful home.

[Mr T]

I pledge allegence to God... no, that doesn't exist... Erm, The Queen? No, she's not democratically elected... How about one of the many parliaments, regional assemblies or local governments? But which one? And who does what?

Tell you what - I'll not kill you, and you don't kill me. You can't say fairer than that.

[Justin Case]

To the Empire that was.
But alas no more is
To the Queen - who may be
To the Government and Opposition who will swap chairs
I swear allegiance to England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, America and the European Union.

What a totally un-British thing to suggest.

[Ed]

I solemnly swear not to get involved, to tut quietly when inside I feel like killing those who annoy me. I promise to complain about the lack of English spoken abroad, and refuse to learn other languages. I will only think of myself. My home is my castle and I will not invite the neighbours in. I will complain about everything, but do nothing to change it. I will complain about the politicians, but I will not vote. As a Briton, the value of my house defines me. Can't believe Britney's got herself in such a state. Looks like rain again.

[Tony Volpe]

The only pledge I regularly made as a boy was the scouting promise. Some of it seems a tad old fashioned now, but some of the sentiments are maybe a good place to begin.

"On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight."

[John]

I swear to take an alligenace to my Scottish colonial masters. I swear not to complain when they take my money to spend on Scotland.

[Brian Rainwash]

"I wish to pledge an oath of allegiance to a country that does not technically exist" does not really work! So, here's my suggestion...

I wish to pledge an oath of allegiance to the EU commission.

Hail the EU commission! I love the EU commission! I will lay down my life for my superiors in the EU commission. I will never question their infinite wisdom and will do everything I can to silence anyone that does.

Hail the EU president. I love the EU president more than any of my friends or family. My life will be complete if the President sent me to go and die for the glorious people of the EU commission.

My friends and family all want me to fail where the EU commission knows what is best for me and I trust in the EU commission to make all of the right decsions for me because I have not got the intelligence to do so myself.

I will wear my ID card with pride and hail my glorious leaders by getting myself into debt, consuming and working harder and harder for less money.

We are free.

---

How about that?

[Eric]

I promise not to blow up my fellow citizens, engage in a "religion of peace" that allows Female Genital Mutilation, homophobia, anti-semitism, disrespect of all all kuffars and poligamy.

[B Keeling]

"I am British anyway and whether I swear what is written down here or not is entirely immaterial."

[Joe]

You Britons are better off without one. I'm an American and I think our Pledge of Allegiance and hand over the heart gesture are stupid.

[A Doty]

The only meaningful oath is one that requires the oath-taker to obey the law. All else is tradition.

[Kara Swart]

I pledge my allegiance to British values of fairplay, a never say die spirit and hardwork. As a newly minted Britisher, I will fight bigotry and injustice in all forms . I will instill these values in my children if and when I have them. I will consume, spend and save responsibly and make my society sustainable and happy. And where possible, I will work to spread these values around the world peacefully and ethically.

[Darren from Sydney]

I pledge allegiance to Her Majesty the Queen of the United Kingdom, as the embodiment of the history, values, institutions, rule of law and people of the Kingdom.

[Tom]

Warm Beer
Literary queers
The thwack of leather on willow,

City pomp
Period romps
Elgar's use of the cello,

Pop Psychedelia
Religious paedophilia
Home grown skunk isn't mellow,

Wide boy racing
Labour Volte-Face-ing
I want to be a good British Fellow.

[dewsbry]

I pledge much allegiance to ……….. ( whoever)
Many nations under many gods.
Divisable, with some liberty and justice for different people.

Should be rendered by standing at attention facing a flag of your choice with your hand over your heart or whatever.