Cristiano Ronaldo and Paris Hilton to sing Elvis songs on Celebrity Big Brother
Time for a new competition, which I think we will call the Britney Spears award.
Recently I posted on an deeply unnecessary BBC programme. The post was headed "Lindsay Lohan, the porn star and the BBC." A fellow blogger accused me of "Google whoring". I had to look up this phrase on the internet.
But now I know what it is, I am able to provide Comment Central readers with an opportunity for fun that is almost endless.
Google whoring is stuffing your headline full of key words and phrases likely to feature in popular internet searches. The story does not need to be, ahem, robust so long as it can appear under a string of terms that people look for on the net.
Let me give you an example. The Telegraph featured this fantastic story:
Britney Spears to play lesbian killer in Quentin Tarantino film
I wouldn't start queueing for tickets in anticipation of this movie actually being made.
So now I want you to invent your own Google whore headline and post it here on Comment Central.
My colleague Anne Spackman suggests:
David Beckham's celebrity sex tips
Or you might try:
Cristiano Ronaldo and Paris Hilton to sing Elvis songs on Celebrity Big Brother.
Can you do better?
Obama-Britney sex tape shocks Liberal Democrat spring conference
(I'm still working on the end...)
Posted by: Tom Freeman | 9 Jan 2009 17:14:15
This is just a variant on the old red-top headlines wheeze:
"Teenage Surgeon and Archbishop in Palace Sex-Change Mercy Dash Probe"
Posted by: Teesbridge | 9 Jan 2009 17:14:35
Britney and Paris to play Lesbian Nazi Twins in PC -vs- Mac Blockbuster
Posted by: Michael | 9 Jan 2009 17:50:26
New York plagued by relentless rain, President Obama pleads with God to save the world from flooding. Signs of armageddon approaching.
Posted by: Andrew G | 12 Jan 2009 10:08:33
Or, for that matter:
Palin sends Iraq troops naked photos using new 4G iPhone
Posted by: Michael | 12 Jan 2009 10:09:08
"Daniel Finkelstein ate my hamster".
Posted by: Arbie | 12 Jan 2009 10:09:59
You missed out the "Presley" in "Elvis songs". Tut tut.
Posted by: Marcus Warren | 12 Jan 2009 10:12:55
Johnathan Ross in racist slur against Obama's lesbian porn star sister Lindsay Lohan
Posted by: lexusperplexus | 12 Jan 2009 10:13:03
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes sex tape leaked entitled "One Night in Paris with Eyes Wide Shut featuring Beyonce"
Posted by: lexusperplexus | 12 Jan 2009 10:13:31
Paris surprise in Conservative leak
or
Credit crunch to freeze interest in Britney after Madoff enquiry
Posted by: Anth.Sun | 12 Jan 2009 10:21:50
journalists put to death for polluting the internet with endless meaningless tittle tattle.
Posted by: kris weston | 12 Jan 2009 10:22:34
Prince Harry and Borat in teen drug sex scandle
Posted by: James | 12 Jan 2009 10:25:29
Abramovich repoted missing after accusations of him being in possession of russian "stolen" gas.
Posted by: Chris | 12 Jan 2009 10:26:18
George and Laura Bush discuss gay-straight-transgender issues with Barack and Michelle Obama
Posted by: Bruce | 12 Jan 2009 10:26:59
Sarah Palin denounces porn flick
Posted by: Ian | 12 Jan 2009 10:27:14
It was in Michael Frayn's "The Tin Men": "Sex-change Pope in Mercy Dash to Palace".
Posted by: Tom | 12 Jan 2009 10:27:19
mannequins measure Britney for straight jacket. Film at eleven.
Posted by: Schwanne | 12 Jan 2009 10:27:24
Chuck Norris caught in star wars porn iphone scandal.
Posted by: James | 12 Jan 2009 10:27:48
Her Majesty The Queen's Divorce proceedings underway...Brad and Angelina Rape Chaos...Obama and Bush plead Guilty to Heroine Export Charges...Elvis Presley found Alive on the streets of Michael Jackson's Private Disney Village...
Posted by: Christopher Heather | 12 Jan 2009 10:28:10
I used to have a Google Adsense account and this is an actual headline that appeared on my website during the US elections: "Sarah Palin is dead".
I clicked on it to find something completely unrelated and a few days later Google kicked me off the Adsense scheme for clicking my own links - how could you not click that, though?
Posted by: SJRH | 12 Jan 2009 10:28:21
Pope and Richard Dawkins agreed to schedule meeting with God
Posted by: Helena Rudolph | 12 Jan 2009 10:28:32
Here's one for the business page
Britney Ferries, Hilton Hotels and Spear & Jackson to hold merger talks in Paris?
Posted by: Steve | 12 Jan 2009 10:29:26
Teen arrested in Britney iPhone sex tape scandal.
Posted by: Steve | 12 Jan 2009 12:32:25
Obama to free porn magnate.
(hoping for bonus hits with "free porn")
Posted by: Jack | 12 Jan 2009 12:32:40
Obama Facebook page shocker has YouTube link to video of Gordon Brown in porn movie with Sarah Palin discussing plans for 2012 Olympics whilst fiddling with iPhone
Posted by: Zita | 12 Jan 2009 14:34:39
No-knobby bobby gets to keep jobby
(Sex-change constable wins fight to keep job)
Taken from The Sun
Posted by: John | 12 Jan 2009 14:34:58
"Cheryl Cole is Adolf Hitler" confesses Obama lookalike Michael Jackson
Posted by: P | 12 Jan 2009 14:35:42
Obama and Beyonce Hot and bothered by Free XXX Sex Blog
Posted by: Sambo | 12 Jan 2009 17:53:36
I think I've won:
http://timesonline.typepad.com/blockbuster_buzz/2009/01/vanessa-hudgens.html
..what's the prize?
Posted by: Michael Moran | 12 Jan 2009 17:53:40
Beatles reform for Princess Diana resurrection.
Posted by: Bill Peter | 13 Jan 2009 10:09:19
Britney & Paris in Lesbian BDSM World Of Warcraft Style Scene With Dwarf
Posted by: Louisa | 13 Jan 2009 10:09:58
Brown, Obama and Putin to offer free financial aids to credit crunch hit i-player, porn and gas companies.
Posted by: Rob Pullar | 13 Jan 2009 10:12:44
Prince Philip and Boy George in missing hours drama - Britney knows holds the key
Posted by: James | 13 Jan 2009 15:30:15
Three entries:
1-Madonna and Prince Harry: no racial sex slur against David Cameron or Beckham regarding house-price crash.
2-Robert Pattinson not in lesbian sex scene with Nicole Kidman and Angelina Jolie in Oscar nominated movie about stock market crash.
3-Hillary Clinton not to approve of porn Twilight New Moon movie about bailout to James Bond staring David Tennant
Posted by: smurf | 13 Jan 2009 18:02:21
"Britney to swap celebrity lesbian BDSM sex tapes for iphone credit with Obama, Bush, Prince Harry and Cheryl Cole"
a bit of an amalgamation of previously posted good ideas!
Posted by: SKINNER | 13 Jan 2009 18:02:27
Hard-Up Porn Industry Seeks Helping Hand from Obama as US Slides Deeper Into Recession!
Posted by: David Gibson | 13 Jan 2009 18:02:55
Princess Diana meets her new lesbian lover Britney Barrymore in the Paris Hilton only to discover she is an illegal immigrant and ex porn star.
Posted by: SimonP | 13 Jan 2009 18:05:33
Credit crunch strictly a fake, John Sergeant reveals to celebrity friends in free iPhone texts.
Posted by: David Leathem | 13 Jan 2009 18:08:59
The Rolling Stones & Obama to star in next Harry Potter film ... with a Big Brother twist!
Posted by: Patrick | 13 Jan 2009 18:09:27
new facebook rumour says Lewis Hamilton and Obama to be contestants on Big brother celebrity
Posted by: Hajira | 13 Jan 2009 18:11:44
Obama, Clinton on Pritikin Diet
Posted by: Chris R | 13 Jan 2009 18:12:31
Prime Minister averts global meltdown after Bankers attempt bring down Western civilisation.
Hmmm, maybe not . . .
Posted by: Russell S | 13 Jan 2009 18:12:42
Sex change lottery winner from Big Brother to appear on X-Factor backed by Louis Walsh
Posted by: clockendjim | 13 Jan 2009 18:56:02
Just take almost any headline from The Sun, but you can't print that because guess who the parent company of The Sun is...
Posted by: Scott Benowitz | 13 Jan 2009 19:03:43
Daniel Radcliffe to change his name to Harry Potter
Posted by: Patrick | 13 Jan 2009 19:47:36
Cheryl Cole says Kate Winslett should apologise to Angelina Jolie by Facebook
Posted by: Hugh | 13 Jan 2009 20:29:22
Win free sex pictures of Britney and David Beckham; full frontal nudity
Posted by: Eric G | 13 Jan 2009 20:47:38
Palin-Lohan Iraqi sex scandal stumps Obama
Posted by: Rebecca Dollery | 13 Jan 2009 21:45:51
Sarah Palin to Star in Dancing with the Wolves II,
After being lost while on a whale hunting expedition when she was a todd[ler] Sarah discovers that she was really raised by a wolf pack mom with lipstick of course. This new revelation causes her to arm the pack with the newest technical invention of fart pellets that are capable of knocking pack hunters out of helicopters with one blow. Throw yo hand up - Unnn!!!
Posted by: Al | 13 Jan 2009 22:28:41
Britney, Lindsay, Cherie Blair, Michelle Obama and Vladimir Putin in lesbian sex-change sado-masochistic bondage World War III scam.
Posted by: C. Edge | 14 Jan 2009 00:30:32
Becks, Posh in naked love-child Obama drama!
Posted by: Woof Woofsson | 14 Jan 2009 04:12:58
your all thinking too hard
FREE PORN
and if you were going for over kill
Britney Spears stars in free porn
Posted by: lex | 14 Jan 2009 09:03:04
Obama and Cheryl Cole Sing X Factor Credit Crunch Duet, All Captured On YouTube And Posted By iPhone On Facebook
Posted by: Jude M | 14 Jan 2009 12:01:13
Britney Spears seen coming out of charlie chaplin acting school.
Posted by: John Clarke | 14 Jan 2009 13:09:54
Angelina Jolie Excited By Obama's Cameo In Twilight Sequel
Posted by: Gilli Bean | 14 Jan 2009 15:01:32
years ago I arranged a web version of our school yearbook, and used to regularly check how people had found the site and what key word searches they had used. Lo and behold a story about someone's hockey skirt falling down and revealing pink knickers was looked at more times than other pages. No pics either. How very disappointing for those searching...
Posted by: Lara | 14 Jan 2009 17:30:05
"Brad Pitt & Sarah Palin Host Wii Awards Amidst Rumors of Escalating Feuding in Legal Team of Latest Blagojevich/Madoff/Pelosi Insider Trading Scandal"
Posted by: Trina L. Grant | 15 Jan 2009 02:53:57
Paris Obama-Laden and Hannah Gates-Jordan bomb as gay illegal aliens in Britney Bush-Beckham's nuclear terrorist movie "Jesus Hilton-Jackson is a Nazi Sex God"
Posted by: Joseph | 15 Jan 2009 06:36:50
google googles google
Posted by: Fakiee | 15 Jan 2009 13:32:47
'Weird footage emerges on facebook and youtube of Barack Obama having a dance off with Britney Spears - it must be true, it's on Wikipedia'.
Who knew this could be so much fun!
Posted by: Terri | 15 Jan 2009 16:43:03
Britney's Al-Qaeda video Heathrow runway storm over Kaka transfer: Beckham youtube iPhone shocker.
Posted by: TigerBoy | 16 Jan 2009 09:21:38