You may have noticed that the Obama administration - using language you would be hard pressed to make up - has decided to rebrand the war on terror. According to a piece three weeks back in the Washington Post:
In a memo e-mailed this week to Pentagon staff members, the Defense Department's office of security review noted that "this administration prefers to avoid using the term 'Long War' or 'Global War on Terror' [GWOT.] Please use 'Overseas Contingency Operation.' "
Now Joe Queenan has responded with a brilliantly witty column in the Wall Street Journal:
If the intention of the Obama administration is to tone down the confrontational rhetoric being used by our enemies, the effort is already reaping results.
This week, in a pronounced shift from its usual theatrical style, the Taliban announced that it will no longer refer to its favorite method of murder as "beheadings," but will henceforth employ the expression "cephalic attrition." "Flayings" -- a barbarously exotic style of execution that has been popular in this part of the world since before the time of Alexander -- will now be described as "unsolicited epidermal reconfigurations."
In a similar vein, lopping off captives' arms will now be referred to as "appendage furloughing," while public floggings of teenaged girls will from here on out be spoken of as "metajudicial interfacing."