Five Books Jane Austen definitely did not write

Ahhh! Another day, another bloody Jane Austen adaptation! The woman snuffed it 200 years ago but still there is no escaping her mushy, cocooned take on Regency Britain. Not only do my partner and au pair seem to have the TV permanently tuned into the latest Austen tosh but last night they left me with the kids to go and see Becoming Jane (left), a Hollywood biopic on the woman. Anyway, out of spite and bitterness, here's a list of five novels Jane Austen definitely did not write. Feel free to write in with a few of your own...

1/ American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis (below)
2/ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S Thompson
3/Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh 
4/ The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris
5/ Les 120 Journées de Sodome by the Marquis de Sade