Heathrow border control

The immigration minister, Liam Byrne, says that we all want “compassionate” but “stronger” borders – to prevent illegal immigrants, identity fraudsters and the like entering our fair country. Hence fingerprinting visa applicants, plus other “compassionate” schemes – increased deportation powers, ID cards for visa holders etc.

When I came back from the APA in Chicago to Heathrow Terminal 4 last week, I thought things had already changed, even for us UK passport holders.  Maybe I haven’t been concentrating on what has been happening there recently, but (if you were a suspicious soul, unlike me, of course) it seemed to have taken a few steps further towards the police state.

Of course, shamefully, I am a paid-up member of biometric Britain, so I whizzed through the iris-recognition booth with no delay at all. But my colleague was wanting to wave his passport, for which there was a large queue – so I had plenty of time (some 25 minutes) to observe the surroundings, while I waited for him. It turned out to be even worse than the USA, where at least citizens slip through quite quickly, even if visitors are herded into a long and twisty line.

As it happens, even if I hadn’t been waiting for the friend, I would anyway have been hanging around the luggage carousels for ages. It appears to take the combined talents of BAA (OK, at least they weren’t on strike like they might well have been)  and the world’s favourite airline almost an hour to deliver your luggage from the plane.

But the changes? The first was a big notice, behind the immigration staff, saying “UK border” –as if that wasn’t obvious.

And then there was what appeared to be an array of orange metal barriers, completed with wire mesh, looking as if they were designed to hold back a mass invasion either of illegal immigrants or of disgruntled, queuing passport holders Neither prospect seemed too likely to me. But the effect was to make the whole experience feel like entering some down-at-heel Eastern European republic.

More to the point, this was the first time I had actually registered that the immigration officers were wearing uniforms rather than ordinary civilian clothes. This was all  part of New Labour’s plans for border control – and it rested on the argument that the officers would be invested with greater authority if they were uniformed.

For me it works the other way. Uniforms, with the possible exception of those worn by the upper echelons of the military, signal low-grade, underpaid functionaries – or, at best, boy scouts.(Hence in the old days, to take a hospital analogy, nurses were made to wear silly frilly hats, and symbolically white aprons, while consultant doctors wore whatever they liked, even if it was usually a suit.)  I have more respect for those who are trusted to wear their own clothes, than those made to wear what someone else chooses. In my view, these people have been down-graded, rather than up-graded.

The cheap response: if they really think that uniforms invest the wearer with authority, why don’t  MPs devise one for themselves?

(I seem to remember that someone in the reign of Nero suggested that slaves should wear uniform. The proposal was quashed on the grounds that it would show to the slaves how many they were.. which is another story.)

Comments

[Tony Francis]

http://www.elfwood.com/art/f/a/fallyn/slave_uni.jpg.html

http://www.elfwood.com/art/f/a/fallyn/slave_uni_formal.jpg.html

[TN]

(I seem to remember that someone in the reign of Nero suggested that slaves should wear uniform. The proposal was quashed on the grounds that it would show to the slaves how many they were.. which is another story.)

Does anyone know the provenance of this suggestion?

[Paul Potts]

It may be that blogs do not disappear so easily, Lord Truth. Thinking about blue food and crockery, I suggest that the colour has little or nothing to do with human psychology. It's rather that the colour rarely if ever exists in our normal world, certainly not in vegetative or animal products. Tony Francis' blue cabbages turn a disappointing shade of green on cooking, though that there are (partially) blue cheeses I cannot deny. The only blues in nature are mineral, such as cobalt, and what is called "lapis lazuli" whose chemistry is mysterious.

Cyanide (from the Greek word for blue - there seems to be none in Latin) is apparently very blue, which may relate to Dr Preller's observation that pharmacists used to use it as a warning sign.

But I do want to tell you about Blue Vinney, a cheese that was made in Dorset, which was made by lacing the curd with old horse harness, especially those bits that went under the tail. It was banned by the EEC, but you can still buy it under the counter in some places in Dorset, provided they know who you are, and you are not dressed like a health inspector.

Paulo

[Tony Francis]

I don't know if Elvis' building left the planet, or if Elvis ever left the building. But it is reported that his colon weighed more than 60 pounds at autopsy. Whether this was due to blue food or blue plate specials is difficult to discern. Could have been narcotics.

[Cogito Ergo Doleo]

Not wearing a uniform, paradoxically, becomes its own kind of uniform, the same way masters and slaves change position, ISTM.

TF: You are missed. May this year be your bestest blissed. The Blue Plate Special's fascinating. Makes one think of all the blue-mood food on the menu and wonder if, when Elvis left the building, did the building leave the planet?

Happy You Near! Website + /fyi.html.

J/Fly-By Cyber-Hi . . . Great Blog, Dr. Beard. It *is* an addition magnif to all that's good, right, and fun in this wonky world (whatever *is* is ;)).

[Lord Truth]

Before this blog disappears I have a strange story that perhaps someone out there can answer.Someone I know(English) always used to be waved through passport controls with a friendly smile-then a few years ago when getting a new passport opted for a machine readable one -not at that time a legal requirement
When they first took this though UK entry control the rather angry officer-who had apparently had a difficult time with someone else in the queue and was perhaps tired-put the passport into the 'reader'saw something(?) then angrily typed about ten letters into his computer, handing back the passport with a menacing stare
Since then every time this person uses their passport -in the UK or abroad , officers sit up,frown and return the passport with a hostile look.
Needless to say this person has no criminal or other nefarious connections
Is it possible for Passport Officers to victimise people in some way- and what actually comes up when a passport is machine read that may produce some reaction-and is it possible to find out what it is?
If something came up like 'Terrorist suspect' 'Drug dealer' etc one would imagine such persons would be interviewed perhaps at length by other officers
Perhaps someone can shed light on this mysterious situation- after all it might happen to any of us -and the way things are going, probably will.

[Xjy]

Ah... airports... Brits... M le commissaire... Mary, did you ever see Joan Robinson drifting around Cambridge in her blue and red sari get-up? I wonder how many years she'd get for turning up at Heathrow in that?
Like Zareen I do the bored thing. Turn myself off. Remove any buttons or badges or indicators of any living thought. What I might do to fight off the tedium though is recite some Lucretius to myself, and that's dangerous - big risk of flashing eyes and something alive being seen flapping about inside the skull.
Whatever they're doing (say Blair putting a ring of tanks around Heathrow to encourage security think) they ain't doing it for me.
And these are the crud who sacked our ambassador in Tashkent (Craig Murray) for whingeing about human rights abuses there. But then, the people-poaching president of Uzbekistan is a staunch ally of "ours" in the War on Terror tm, which of course we obviously aren't...

[dr venables preller]

Pharmacists traditionally used blue vessels for poisonous substances, and a subliminal association might be useful for appetite management, perhaps for those at risk of obesity. Those who delight in eating from porcelain in cold northern light might prefer the aesthetics of Royal Copenhagen as an alternative to Dresden or Delft.

[anthony alcock]

The first three items in the photo list can function as attributes, but Switzerland can't, so the adjective form has been used rather than a concatenation of nouns with adjectives.

Blue cheese.
The cabbage known as "red" is actually quite purple.

If you go to a spice market in Egypt (Aswan, for example), you'll find among the spices some blue stuff, but as far as I know it's a dye. I've never bought it, used it or seen it used on food.

[Tony Francis]

The wiki article on the Blue Plate Special indicates the Blue Plate may have originated with Fred Harvey. He was the English restauranteur who started the first US chain of eating establishments.
http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Harvey
So the story goes, Fred Harvey was a five star chef who lost his job during the US Civil war. He got a job working for a railroad. He opened several restaurants on the old Kansas Pacific line which went through Salina Kansas between Kansas City and Denver. He entered into an oral contract with the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe (The Santa Fe) to open as many restaurants as he wanted. It was said he served beef cut the thickness of a man's hand. He died of colon cancer, telling his sons "don't cut the ham too thin, boys." So the idea of Fred Harvey chincing by using a cheap psychological trick like a blue plate doesn't quite ring true. Fred Harvey insisted that his "Harvey Girls" remain unmarried while in his service. No doubt, Harvey Houses were the site of a lot of repressed sexuality, much like libraries.
http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harvey_House
There is an old Harvey House in Newton Kansas. Amtrak stops at the station, but a lawyer's office occupies the old restaurant area.

[Tony Francis]

A few years ago, I heard that Heinz was marketing a blue ketchup which kids had voted for. I don't think it was on the market long. My mother had some china which had a pastel blue pattern on the rim and some pink flowers in the center. It always seemed very consoling and appetizing. The overall color of the dishes was white. She also had some china with an alarming pea green/ dark green pattern which I always found to be off-putting. She said it was really expensive. But for my part, I wouldn't have paid anything for it.

[abc]

just back from dinner with my cousins. Blue - electric blue for electric blue pyjamas and Peter Rabbits called Keith. Lots of work.

[Eileen]

I went to the colormatters site. Yes, those solid blue plates are sickening all right. guess that's the reason chinese ceramics, delftware etc, have blue-white designs. by the way, only solid blue dishes I've ever seen are those metal ones used by campers.

[Eileen]

blue as an appetite suppressant is a new one to me. From the point of view of color design theory I have always heard that a blue-patterned china contrasted with and enhanced the colors of the foods that we normally eat--so in that sense blue would be thought of as appetite stimulant. I will take a look at the wiki article though.

[Zareen]

As ever, a personal anecdote about being an Indian citizen travelling to Britain:
Last week, I returned from my Christmas vacation. After a 40 minute wait in line (where I too noted the absurdity of the new 'UK Border' notice) the immigration officer asked me: "What are you here for?" I answered, "I study at the University of Essex" in my most bored voice.
"And that," he replied, with a wry smile, "is as exciting as it ever gets."
I imagine he as more bored sitting there doing Labour's work as is humanly possible. Poor soul. 10 hours of flying and all the waiting around and I was still better off than him.

[Tony Francis]

Paulo: Yes, there is a reason food isn't colored blue. Blue color is an appetite suppresant.
http://www.colormatters.com/appmatters.html
In the US during the depression, many diners served a "blue plate special", usually on a blue plate. I have heard that the owners of diners discovered that people ate less if the "all you can eat" meal was served on a blue plate. This seems to be a fact wiki has missed:
http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-plate_special

[Paul Potts]

What a wonderful idea blue food is. I mean, we eat any colour from green to purple and brown to pink or grey. But not blue. Is there a reason for this?

Paulo

[abc]

odd thing about this was that I was allowed to change my school uniform. my parent is foreign and I think two girls in the class did it and somehow we got away with it on continental grounds. Another girl also successfully came down from 'posh school', completely tattooed her body, started dyeing her cooking classes food blue (to the disgust of her parents who had spent an absolute fortune on these activities), walked around barefeet with numerous toe-rings and, well, ended up, rather successfully, telling her parents to bog it before providing an effective service for the NHS.

[Paul Potts]

So, then, Mary, why do you do it? You can deliver your lecture, complete with illustrations, by internet, without the multiple airport humiliations you describe. Next time, perhaps, you too can wear uniform. But I can see that an Amazon bow and arrows, with the other cosmetic or surgical requirements, might cause difficulties, however accepting the airport authorities may appear to wish to be. But yes, it's the getting back that would create the real problems. You will find much more about Heathrow than you seem to know.

Paulo

[anthony alcock]

I thought the point of uniforms was to make groups easily identifiable. The nice thing about the school uniform was that you shed it (and school) as soon as you got home.

[Annette Laing]

After Xmas, my eight-year-old son and I visited the UK to see family and friends. My son is a US citizen, while I'm British and a permanent resident of the US. At the Gatwick "border crossing", I was grilled about when my son would return to the U.S., which I pointed out would be at the same time as my own return. "So you're no longer a resident of this country," said the jobsworth with an air of finality. "No," I said, "But last time I looked, I 'm still a British citizen." Very scary from the perspective of someone who has given up various privileges in the U.S. to retain her UK citizenship, and a sad day when I get a warmer reception from the INS officer in Atlanta than I do from an official in the land of my birth.

[Katharine Edgar]

Surely a uniform is more about depersonalization than authority - it doesn't so much say 'I'm powerful' as 'No point in trying to think you can get round me - I'm here to do a job'. That's why judges wear them, isn't it?

[Oliver Nicholson]

Surely there is a Privy Councillor's uniform - not unlike that of a county sheriff, with black knee-breeches and a sword. And I recall my old tutor (a herald) telling me that the full-dress robes of the Lord Chancellor, the Chancellor of the University of Oxford and the Chancellor of the Exchequer were identical.

[Jackie]

It's interesting that there were any immigration officers on duty. They belong to HMRC, the department that is supposed to lose huge amounts of staff in the next couple of years, as an 'efficiency' measure. Putting them in uniform will only demonstrate how few there actually are to hold back the 'hordes'.