Rise of the eco-argument: the top 10 subjects that my boyfriend and I argue about and how to avoid them

Time was when domestics were simple. You quarrelled over who did the washing up/made tea/cleaned the toilet. Now there's a moral dimension to kitchen sink drama. Green arguments are on the rise. Or they are in my house anyway. Not perhaps for Tony Wrench and Jane Faith who live in this roundhouse made of wood, turf and straw in Wales - both of whom must be equally committed to their sustainable lifestyle (click here to see more of these marvellous photos - thanks to the BBC In Pictures section). But here's a list of ten things that have sparked us off in the last few months. Because I'm the diplomatic sort, I have made notes on how one might remedy the situation.

Let me know what eco-feuds you have - if nothing else to lessen my growing sense that I am a green monster to live with.

1/ How full the kettle should be. We should invest in one of these babies.
2/ Who left the computer/printer/record decks on overnight. Get a one click adaptor and one flick of switch means all your appliances are properly turned off.
3/ Why the veg peelings have been left to rot instead of being taken out to compost. Um... have children and give them sole responsibility for this job? 
4/ Why there are plastic bags breeding under the sink and who's going to take them back to the supermarket. Pin up a bag full of plastic bags near the front door to remind guilty parties to take one when they go to the shops. Actually, I tried this, and it's still hard to remember to fill your pockets with them.
5/ Bedroom lights: why on when no one home? Swap to a renewable energy power company so at least the wasted power is the good sort.
6/ Who's going to eat the leftovers and mouldy fruit and veg. To bother putting them in tupperware boxes and eat them for lunch or to bin? Check out Thomasina Miers' book on soups. Perfect for using up remnants of veg box – there will be no leftovers.
7/ Electric fan heaters being mysteriously left to blast an empty room with hot air every few minutes. More stylish woolly jumpers from Howies in order. 
8/ Nike trainers, grrr! Would rather I could dress my loved one in these, but it's a tall order for a dedicated trainer snob.
9/ Why the TV is left on standby. Refer to one click device mentioned in 2/
10/ Why mobile phone recharger is always plugged into wall with switch on but no phone on end. Stick this newstory about how much electricity this wastes on the fridge.

Comments

[Al Holland]

Why can't we go to Greece next year? Marvellous, an opportunity to restate all the evils of air travel - noise, CO2, cloud formation etc. Mind you it gets hard when FOE has a book about Green Travel worldwide in its shop

[Anna]

Holidays, of course, how can I possibly have forgotten to row about this? Oh well, glad to hear someone else has the subject covered. Thanks Al.

[Tracy]

Why he's been in the shower for so long? And why he won't press the "eco" button on the shower?

Why does he have to drive over the speedlimit on the motorway, and create more CO2 emissions than necessary?

[Al Tepper]

Should we use disposable eco nappies by Moltex or regular nappies from Pampers on our young son - although to be honest the argument quickly ended when we realised eco disposables are easily available and not much more costly.

Cheers

Al

[Peter Parkes]

On the trainer front, you could always try New Balance - they're made in the UK, which avoids sweatshops and trainer miles at the same time.

[anna]

our number 1. should we leave the central heating on overnight (i prefer a cold bedroom), and during the day when we're both at work? he say 'yes', I say 'no way.' HE maintains that my method (timer and thermostat) is MORE wasteful as the heating has to work harder when it comes on. I remain skeptical.

[anna]

oh, and, also the 'why drive so fast' and 'why can't you switch your computer off at night' (ans. because it 'does maintenance', apparently).

[Vicky Stevens]

Why can't you take my flowery patterned tote bags to get the shopping? You won't look silly with them and besides I WILL NOT have more carrier bags in this house! Well, that's the gist anyway.

[stef]

I LOVE TREES<3

[Robin Bather]

I'm with you Anna, not your boyfriend.
There is no shadow of a doubt that leaving the central heating on will use more energy than using the thermostat.
Print this out and stick it on the CH thermostat.

[David Oglaza]

I argue most with my partner about recycling. I leave the papers, glass and cardboard nr the back door to save it to take a car full to the recycling only to find it all in the bin when I get home from work....it creates mess she says...I pull it out and she puts it back in when Im not looking....either that or she wants to drive to the tip to put 3 newspapers and a glass bottle in recycling...sigh...

[Tom]

I got a one click adaptor for xmas after reading this (glamorous!) and it works really well - plug it in and your monitor turns off by itself. No more standby, never have to think about it again. Not sure the reduced standby electicity will really make up for manufactuing the plastic plug, shipping it over from China etc, but never mind...

[Zareen P. Bharucha]

hah. for starters, an indicative list:
- Why on earth do you care so much (vs. WHY do you NOT!?).
- YOU can't save the world, you know (I am painfully aware of that fact, thank you very much, but could you please, PLEASE stop reminding me!?!)
- Climate change is blown all out of proportion. (Enough said)
- Yes, I want to fly to Scotland
- Organic vegetables are just frightfully expensive (forget the healthcare costs non-organic is likely to impose on you later)

[Brien Comerford]

Our condominium association in Glenview, Illinois does not recycle. I have so much guilt. I love trees but my condo association does not recycle. I'm vegetarian, I don't drive and don't waste much energy. But I feel really guilty for not recycling at home. Forgive me Sacred Trees.

[Donné Putter]

NIKE trainers - wow, that was a really big fight.
And what about him wanting to "invest" in seaside property that will turn a productive farm into a golf course - his argument "but if i don't someone else will" grrrr! now that really released the green monster in me!
To his credit - completely loves the organic veg, and open to recycling.

[jim jim]

I watched al gore take off again in his fuel sucking airplane. Yep, he was off again to make a few speeches and rake in millions of dollars off of suckers who believe in this farce he has been promoting by telling people the earth getting warm is mans fault. It is a natural occurance and so far it has been great for the planet. We have nothing to fear if the planet finally returns to how used to be.

[Peter Smart]

Not from my partner but from those friends and acquaintances you used to like until you discover they share none of your environmental values when they say "I'm not convinced about this Global Warming thing". This is one of the great "cop out" lines used in response to any proposed eco-friendly activity. Anna, can we run a post asking for best responses to this line?

You're either a bearer or a burden.

Peter

[Mekhong Kurt]

Boy, are the knives out!

I live alone, so any debates I have are with friends. Or, at least, I try to keep them on the level of calm, rational debate, though some people simply refuse to do so.

I have a number of friends here who could care less about air pollution, despite the fact Bangkok's air is filthy. Forget global warming -- cleaner air would be nice, period.

A good many green issues can be re-cast in on-green terms in similar fashion.

So, you want to drive your way oversized SUV because (1.) you don't believe GW is an issue and (2.) you can afford it -- fine. But wouldn't you be interested if someone came up with a more efficient energy source that would lower your expenses operating it -- without any regard to the potential upside for the environment?

I've heard this argument for decades that turning heating/cooling off-on takes more energy than just leaving it blasting non-stop. Many years ago, one day when I went to pay my electric bill, I asked to speak to someone on the technical side. The guy I spoke to said there's some truth to that if you're talking about very short time frames (minutes), but that the difference quickly converged then reversed as you stretched the time frame out. Being strapped to keep up my electricity bills on my laughable salary, I tried it both ways, paying attention to the meter (and keeping records). He was right. Back then, the environment wasn't all that much on my mind, but getting through to the next paycheck darned sure was.

A lot of folks in the countryside here have large tubs or urns to catch and store rainwater. They use it solely for drinking and cooking. Outside Bangkok, the potability of local water can be very iffy, so these folks use that water, if they're on a public water supply (rather than a well or some such) they use that water for flushing toilets, washing clothes, etc. And they save a little money in the process. Nothing wrong with that -- and it makes a small contribution to the environment, painlessly.

My Sister used to love to hop in her [big] car and head the 10 or 12 miles to the nearest Wal-Mart Super Center just to browse the aisles, even if she needed nothing. These days, with high fuel prices, she nows treats her forays as treats for herself and goes only when she has to be in the area for at least one other reason anyway. And she works out in advance what she might need to buy for home, her job, whatever. No more "I'm bored, it's midnight Friday night, so I'm going to Wal-Mart" for her. Actually, she came to that conclusion some years ago, and has saved a substantial amount on not only fuel, but on not making as many impulse purchases! Yes, for awhile she missed her spontaneous outings, but she quickly got used to the new program, so in that sense, there was an initial "cost" of sorts. Didn't take too many months of paying greatly-reduced monthly gasoline bills for her to not only stop feeling the pain, but actually feeling the pleasure of having more money so she could make that occasional silly buy!

When I was a kid, we had a broom with a wooden handle and straw; even the binding on some brands were made from natural products. Here, to this day it's very difficult to find a broom using anything other than straw, bamboo (for the handle), and maybe a little metal wire (though not always the last). Both work. There are said to be about 15-16 million households in this country; adds up to a lot of plastic.

But no. Some of my friends don't want to hear any of that, and at their most extreme, they can get really under my skin, i.e., when they explicitly say they don't give a damn if the actions they and others with similar views DO end up harming other people. (Sorry to say, I do encounter that on occasion -- not usually, but enough for it to be irritating.)

Anyway, forget global warming and the rest. Look at the wallet.