Air Travel: Why flying first class is good for the environment

by Michael Moran, author of Sod Abroad: Why You'd Be Mad to Leave the Comfort of Your Own Home

With constant reminders that our holiday air travel is destroying the planet, it’s increasingly hard to enjoy the experience of jetting off to foreign climes. Given that the air travel experience now consists of a series of frustrating motorway tailbacks as we wait to line up in frustrating check-in and security queues it’s tempting to wonder how we could ever recapture the carefree glamour of the 1960s, when jet-setters whizzed around the globe without a single guilty thought about their carbon footprint (or being asked to remove their shoes by security guards for that matter)

I have the ideal solution for this vexing eco-dilemma. First Class tickets.

Yes, they cost a little more – indeed quite a lot more – but if we saved up for a holiday every five years or so instead of jetting off to Malaga every Bank Holiday we would do less to harm the environment and less to destroy our sanity. Besides, flying first class is not ‘like flying economy only a bit better’. Flying first class is quite simply the most sensually luxurious experience a person can ever have.

Really.

Once you’ve flown First Class you’ll never want to fly with the common herd again, and it’s so punishingly expensive that means you’re going to be flying a lot more rarely. But it honestly is worth it.

From the moment you arrive at check-in, ever single member of the airline staff seems pleased to see you, is keen to please you, by some miracle knows your name and furthermore uses it more often that might seem reasonably plausible. Unlike the nail-biting catch-as-catch-can seat allocation of cattle class, first class travellers are encouraged to take free choice of seats. It’s almost as if the staff care about your happiness. The very idea.

The sense of privilege is continuous. For example, Virgin’s self-regardingly named Upper Class has its own security gates, precluding the necessity of rubbing shoulders with the hoi polloi as they remove their cheap shoes and drop their pitiful handfuls of greasy slot machine change into plastic trays.

Then, yes, there’s a terrible dash through the shopping court where one is obliged to mix with the common man but once that has been negotiated, and an appropriate quantity of tax-free handbags purchased, there is the tipsy nirvana of the first class lounge.

Reminiscent of one of those television advertisements that suggest a lager manufacturer might be capable of setting up the finest nightclub in the free world, the first class lounge is an extraordinary oasis of calm in the trolley-bag hurly burly of airport life.

Food, fine wines, and complimentary wi-fi are almost forced upon the lucky first class traveller with apparently unstinting generosity. It’s wonderful, but after a short walk to the aircraft it gets better: instead of the irksomely combative competition between passengers to force hand baggage into overhead lockers there is instead a leisurely amble to the seat, whereupon solicitous cabin crew offer to whisk away coats and superfluous baggage to a mysterious wardrobe for the duration of the flight.

By contrast with the economy traveller’s ‘two duff action flicks and some old BBC stuff’ menu, limitless first run movies are on offer to the lucky Upper Classman.

But opportunities to actually watch them are limited. Barely a minute passes when one isn’t being pestered by people trying to give you wine or brioche or a massage or somesuch.

And the food. Oh, the food. One might be forgiven for thinking that the only meals that can be served at high altitudes are superheated radioactive chicken and volcanically hot microwave beef. Not so. Upper Class passengers are treated to food that looks and more importantly tastes like food, and are furthermore permitted to eat it with metal utensils. The incessant flow of complimentary drinks is served in real glasses too.

Of course both of these last luxuries are, by dint of being re-usable, significantly more eco-friendly than the plastic ones that are, let’s not forget, essentially made from oil. I have no idea why this small courtesy is not afforded to all passengers. Admittedly they could be more dangerous in the wrong hands but surely washability outweighs the comparatively small chance of misuse. Perhaps terrorists can only afford the cheap seats? It seems so. Certainly I was afforded a view into the flight deck for a good part of my journey which for a chap of my proclivities was quite a thrill.

It was impossible to get a good look at what the pilots were up to though. Like my much-prized window seat it was impossible to enjoy because people kept coming up and pressing more Champagne upon me. It was quite annoying. Perhaps I’d be happier in economy.

Comments

[daniel goodare]

If you are to fly first class, do not embarrass yourself by referring to 'the hoi polloi' as it's translation includes the word 'the'. The correct erminology is to simply describe the subordinate masses as 'hoi polloi'.

[Bill Peter]

To Sasha regarding Virgin "placements"; have you seen Casino Royale (the remake)? A Virgin 747 takes off in the background at one point, and Sir Richard Branson is an (uncredited) extra going through security.
To Hugh; try Singapore Airlines - free champagne in cattle class.

[Why does it matter?]

Why is everyone so worked up about airlines suupposedly polluting the planet, when even if we do take a big leap of faith and assume that CO2 is responsible for global warming, ships are far greater polluters?

[Derick Lachlan]

Ha ha ha! I fly first class when I fly for work, and it is admittedly luxurious compared to economy (which I fly at my own expense), but is it "quite simply the most sensually luxurious experience a person can ever have?"

Well, it's not as comfortable as my own sofa, or my own bed, my modest DVD and wine collection is superior, and I prefer people who know my name because they are friends. So yes, it's nice as flying goes - but only because flying is horrible!

However, I'll remember this article and rejoice if I'm ever diagnosed with a 'relatively benign' form of cancer!

[Matt Turner, Brighton, UK]

Haha, nice to see a more lighthearted approach! Seriously though, any environmentalist who tells you "Well maybe we'll just have to stop flying" is an idiot. Pure and simple.
If that sort of attitude was commonplace, we'd still be living in caves wondering how to start a fire...... The world needs to be connected and people won't accept being told to stay in one place anymore. Flying - ie. international cargo, holidays etc - is too much a part of Western culture to just 'disappear' now; we just need to find another way of doing it with science that won't damage the planet. People mock Virgin for their recent biofuels idea but it's a hell of a lot more than most other airlines are doing.
As I say, nice to find somebody who cares about the planet but doesn't feel a need to scream when they hear one of their buzzwords (eg. plane, new Heathrow runway, foreign travel....)

[hugh]

Ah Michael how sensible you are!!!Why not continue your logic and just stay at home?

[Sasha]

The ultimate in being good for the environment is to simply be sensible!! Treat people, animals and things as you would want them to treat you! Neither frivolousness nor miserliness is really good for anybody! Any extreme means ridicule sooner or later. Consequently, flying just for the heck of it debases what once used to be a treat...

[Where are those times gone when even in economy one could get decent food, decent seating-room, and respect? Why did we have to make 2nd-class into 3rd-class??]

Finally, MUST people fly just on a whim or because everybody must be at a certain place for this or that often-wasteful and unneeded meeting?? Especially in this age of fast Internet communications, leading soon to even having video-telephone available??...

[Terry Hawker]

All very obvious except for the green argument. KLM once flew me business class following a missed flight, but I could never justify the expense.

How is it that Virgin seemingly always manage to receive "placements" on newspaper articles and TV background shots about airlines, travel, and airports? Co-incidence or other agendas at work?

[CS]

Laura - you made me laugh out loud. Thank you!

And Emma - you're absolutely spot on.
Like your good self, I too have to pay for my Business Class fare when I fly long haul home to NZ.
Make no mistake folks, I would sell a kidney to avoid Economy - Business Class and beyond really is THAT good.. .

[Ken Belcher]

If more 'green' campaigners were able to make their points with such a light touch they wouldn't be seen as such a bunch of moaning minnies by the rest of us.

Never flown 1st, probably never will now. Sounds great!

[Laura]

"One might be forgiven for thinking that the only meals that can be served at high altitudes are superheated radioactive chicken and volcanically hot microwave beef"

Ha. As a regular Monarch flyer I've been making do with a bag of Hula Hoops and a tin of Fanta for years.

Funny piece

[Paul Feagan]

The treatment for First Class passengers varies wildly by airline. Using the Virgin formula format I can tell you my experience of flying United Airlines:
First = Premium Economy
Business = Economy
Economy = I dread to think how those poor souls down the back of a United plane are treated - something akin to stowage on the Titanic I imagine.

[Emma]

Loved the article and oh so true. I've flown Virgin Upper, BA Business and Qantas First and I have to say out of all of them Qantas First had the best service and champagne but Virgin had the most comfortable bed. Unlike most of the travellers in these classes I've paid for all these flights myself and would never ever go back to Economy for long haul flights. Travelling in these classes definitely makes a difference to my jetlag when I land in Australia.

[Tom]

Dear TALESEKNOWSITALL, please stop it as you are emberrasing yourself. You have clearly never flown First Class. Once you do then let us know what you think.

Virgin:
Upper Class = Business
Permium economy = Premium economy
Economy = Economy

BA:
First = First
Club World = Business
World Traveller Plus = Premium Economy
World Traveller = Economy

There are 40-50 Upper Class seats on most Virgin planes. A first class section does not have more than 10 or so seat (BA has 14 First class seats).

Virgin Upper Class competes directly with other airline's business class, they say so themselves.

Upper Class seats are comparable to BA business seats. As is the number of such seats, service, food, inflight entertainment, etc.

First class on a good airline will typically cost twice the price of an Upper Class ticket. Try and book one yourself. I try every month so I know.

Virgin is a great airline but I wish they could introduce a first class and then upgrade me as BA sometimes do.

[Patrick Henry]

I suspect that this sarcastic article was an exercise to measure how clueless the left-wing readers of the paper are.

Based on the comments here, it appears that there is no limit to liberal stupidity.

[David Carr]

Lovely column. First Class across the Pacific, LAX to SIN is something!
Don't fly much now, can't afford it.

[Simon]

I've never flown First or Business but i think if you offered people in First £6,000 in cash (or whatever it is on NY return) to sit in economy many would be happier with the money.

[Sebastian]

Flying First Class in British Airways is better. Simple as that.

[Digger]

What non-sense bigger seats mean less seats on a plane, less seats means fewer passengers, means more flights to carry everyone.

Silverjet B767 all business - 56 seats (approx) V's Zoom B767 268 seats (Y+ and Y) class.

That makes Zoom's passengers 5 x times greener than Silverjet's

And don't argue that fewer passengers equals less weight.... The all business airline make their money from selling cargo to fill up the space the bags left!

[Christian McArdle]

Premium Economy in Virgin is nowhere near business class. Let's compare. British Airways World Traveller Plus has a 38 inch seat pitch, identical to Virgin's Premium Economy. BA's business class has lie flat beds at a pitch of 73 inches, almost double Virgin's Premium economy. To suggest that Premium Economy = Business is laughable.

Virgin just doesn't distinguish between First and Business.

[robert everitt]

Like to try it ,whatever it's called ,,just once.

[TALESEKNOWSITALL]

Tom, Raj is not correct, just as you are not correct. Maybe because you fly Upper Class, you dont see the people in Premium Economy and Ecomony. So I ll explain it too you,

UPPER = First
Premium Economy = Business.

They are equivalents. Obviously some are better than others and charge more.

There ends the lesson.

[HJ]

I've flown in all of Virgin's classes (mostly paid for by my employer).

Really, premium economy is just fine. Even economy is OK provided you aren't expected to work once you get to the other end.

Upper class is obviously nicer, but so what? I'd still be more comfortable at home watching the TV and getting myself something to eat and drink.

It's no big deal. It's just a few hours on a plane. Who really cares?

[Andreas]

Now if you factor in that a first class seat takes the space of five (aproximately) cattle-stools, you reduce the passenger load by five (The passenger weight won't matter that much here). Each first class passenger will then have five times the carbon footprint of an economy traveller, offsetting the savings of one holiday in five ears... But if Michael was serious, he'd advertise standing, densely crammed together - mind the gap!

[Marco]

Perhaps we should all drive Rolls Royces too. Those under retirement age or thereabouts wouldn't drive, and even the retired wouldn't perhaps drive so much.

[smash]

life is short, and i want to fly more and more, like i want cheez more.....who carez about environment friendly stuff......arent we meanful enough to waste our time in discussing such things as "SAVE THE PLANET" come oooon who cares.......

[Tom]

Raj is correct. Virgin does NOT have a first class, only business class. It is branded Upper Class and competes directly with BA's business class in both price, seat layout and service (its branded Club World).
As a Gold card holder with Virgin and silver with BA I should know as I use both frequently.
A proper first class is something else alltogether - so Michael Moran should report back after taking a first class trip and then he might conclude that it is better to do a holiday every 10 years instead of 5 as he argues. And then there's private jet...which is on a different level, so how about one holiday in a life?

[MJ]

So I should pay an airline more money, so their staff can be better actors at pretending to care? Ha! Ha!

[graham]

Glamourous advertising for Virgin?

[Freddie]

More Environmental alarmist propaganda. When will you people wake up and realise that air travel is not going to end the world!? Where would we be without air travel...stuck on this Island not knowing whether Sydney had a bridge or not.

This person has never had to buy a ticket in its life I fly to work. and go cattle class to keep the cost down. which no doubt subsidises these high flyers.

[Matthew D]

Uhh...Matthew? It isn't print?

;)

[Paul Rutherford]

Hahah! It's refreshing to see an Eco-freindly argument that's got a sense of humor and not completely pofaced!

[Julian]

Funny, and truer than you might think.

If we flew less often it would be more of a treat and we'd do less harm to the atmosphere

[Taleseknowsitall]

Raj, Upper Class on Virgin is First Class. Their business is called Premium Economy.

Mathew, this idiot has probably just enlightened those people who fly economy, and he has it 100% right. 1 flight is better than 5 and it is soo much better, although I am sure you and Raj know this already.

Amusing, factually correct article.

[Matthew]

Whose decision was it to let this idiot appear in print?

[Raj]

Upper Class is generally considered to be business class and not first class