O what a circus O what a show - Virgin Mary the Musical

Ever since the news that the Vatican is staging  its first ever musical - blessed by the Pope - on the life of the Virgin Mary,  I have been trying not to launch a competition for lyrics in such religious musicals ("She was a Vi-ir-gin - Despite all ur-rr-gin - Had her baby inna manger, fled from Herod's army danger..." ).
        But its no good.  Not now that I  think about the normal standards of subtlety in musical theatre, and  read that the writers  use some "poetic licence" to show Mary as a modern woman, and that  the music  is composed by Stelvio Cipriani, whose other scores have graced such films as  Piranha Part Two: The Spawning, Black Orgasm and Sex of the Devil.  Sorry. But it has to be.  Write your own lyrics, and never forget that Mantilla rhymes with Killer. 

Comments

[Jay]

So... why didn't they just ask Madonna?

[Sandy]

Oh dear! I really do hope that somehow this "show" will honour the Mother of God. Mary is his most glorious creature, loved by Him above all others. I just do not feel that she should be the subject of a "show", as if she were Evita. I hope I am wrong as regards the possible dumbing down of one of the mysteries of our salvation, and I very much hope my fears are unfounded, and that it will always be produced as a religious contemplative exercise and not as showbiz.

[John]

This is my story of pain and woe
I was a young girl, not a crazy buck-wild ho.
I had visitors at night, one of them Gabriel
Her eye patch on, singing “dreams can come true”
When Joseph asked I thought quick on my feet
“The divine birth canal is a one way street”
I am forever faithful to this Palestinian myth
And don’t give a s*** about theological rifts
Virgo Intacto was not my situation
But the Greeks came along with the wrong mistranslation
And what is written in Hebrew as just a “young woman”
Was mistranslated as “This woman’s a virgin”

And with this fact, my myth is just not true
I am no different from Jesus or you.
I’m part of story that once was told
That there isn’t any “all knowing” to behold
I cared for my son, the natural duties of one
Who realised this nonsense shouldn’t have begun
And in the end, nobody can win
Cos I’m still paying off my original sin
Of that Eve woman, with a penchant for fruit
Who uprooted humanity, and rid us of roots
And here we now stand, banished from the garden
Fighting fundy crazies with perma god Hardons

[Jamie MacNab]

Sandy : you seem to be a Christian, as I am. But surely we have to get used to the very modern and progressive idea that we live in a three-dimensional world ; what goes on around us right now is what matters to the modern mind ; the habit of seeing ourselves in four dimensions is gone. The past is dead ; those who lived in the past are dead ; and once you're dead, you're no better than dog meat unless an enterprising person can do better with you.

We have to accustom ourselves to the thoroughly modern and progressive habit of seeing our ancestors as so mistaken that it is not only unhelpful, but unseemly, to perceive any good in them ; certainly we must not venerate them.

Their use to us is purely a 'today' use, a three-dimensional use. For example, they can be a means of making money. We can exploit them by writing musicals about them. The very cleverest among us can even write rude songs about them.

I'm sure you get the idea.

[john]

Jamie - what are you trying to say?
Are you about to spew some alistair mcgrath type nonsense our way or is that a version of hard-hitting Christian woe-is-us sarcasm?

I apologise to the religious among you, it's appalling that you have to deal (in the words of George Bush)with the "reality based" section of society, in language that everyone can use. Us atheists really must make more of an effort to learn the Christian language of jibberish and nonsense.

I'm not sure about rude (please point out where you believe it to be rude, and why) songs, but I seem to have missed the point of this blog. Wasn't it just crying out for some songs about Mary (from both sides)? Christians in "sense of humour bypass" shocker!!

Sandy? where is your evidence?

Please comment on the divine conception being a translation error between Hebrew and Greek.

[Lux Aeterna]

Don't cry for him Theotokos
The truth is, he hasn't left you
He's gone to heaven
He will be back soon
And later, He'll take you with him

[Lux Aeterna]

Tune "Like a Virgin" (Steinberg and Kelly)

My soul proclaims how great God is
My spirit’s joyful too
For he has chosen me for this
Gabriel, thank you!

From now on, everyone,
Will praise me, call me blessed too
God has done great things
Done great things for me
His name’s holy

Chorus
I’m a virgin
With child for the very first time
I’m a virgin
And we’re saved by
This Son of mine

God looks after those who fear him
In each generation
He’s shown the strength in his arm
Taking kings from their throne

He lifts the lowly up
Feeds the hungry and sends the rich away
Aids his servant Israel
Remembering his promise
To Abraham

Chorus
I’m a virgin
With child for the very first time
I’m a virgin
And we’re saved by
This Son of mine

[Rick Beekman]

Many Times on This Blog have I stated that the RCC Is A buisness/church/United Nation Member.
This Time It's to promote "Religious Show Buisness". The RCC is Only concerned with raking in the Dollars/Euros/Pesos/Pounds whatever they can get. Catholics Should wake up and see that This church who does'nt even teach how to be saved Would rather promote false doctrines and care less what The scriptures say. No wonder people are leaving this Church. People are wiser Today then Several Hundred years ago. The Real Mary (Mother of Jesus) Would have nothing whatsoever to do with this False Worship/Veneration. So I Hope The Vatican Rakes in the Bucks from the Gullible followers of the "Virgin Mary Cult" (Formerly "Venus" "Semaramis" "Ashtoreth" And "Diana" Of Greece)....

[Rick Beekman]

Many Times on This Blog have I stated that the RCC Is A buisness/church/United Nation Member.
This Time It's to promote "Religious Show Buisness". The RCC is Only concerned with raking in the Dollars/Euros/Pesos/Pounds whatever they can get. Catholics Should wake up and see that This church who does'nt even teach how to be saved Would rather promote false doctrines and care less what The scriptures say. No wonder people are leaving this Church. People are wiser Today then Several Hundred years ago. The Real Mary (Mother of Jesus) Would have nothing whatsoever to do with this False Worship/Veneration. So I Hope The Vatican Rakes in the Bucks from the Gullible followers of the "Virgin Mary Cult" (Formerly "Venus" "Semaramis" "Ashtoreth" And "Diana" Of Greece)....

[John]

Rik - The clarity with which you so elequently pick apart catholicism just leaves me frustrated - just go one myth further and you're there!!

[Andrew Milner]

Remember back in the 1960's, how stories in the NoW of unmarried young women who on becoming pregnant, swore blind they'd had no contact with a man (men) were treated with derision. The dichotomy is that a central tenant of Christianity rests on virgin pregnancy. The Bible presents Mary as half way to being a celestial angel. Keep in mind that Jesus had four brothers and two sisters, presumably half brothers/sisters. In fact (half) brother James took over the movement when Jesus was executed, in the same way as Jesus had taken over from John the Baptist.

[e skelton]

You mean a woman holier than Diana actually lived?

[Rick Beekman]

John;
What "Myth" am I promoting? Please Explain and I will gladly reply!...

[Chris Gillibrand]

I am reminded of the late, great Alice Thomas Ellis who being asked in a survey for a women's magazine what was the most significant event for women in history, simply wrote back "The Annunciation". Well before any feminist movement, the Marian movement allowed the world to be seen differently- for instance, there is a Marian Stations of the Cross (properly indulgenced and recognised by ecclesiastical authority) which proceeds through the Stations in reverse order- the return of Mary from Calvary.

[Paul Leigh]

I don't know about the mysteries of salvation - the mysteries of the religious mind are baffling enough. Sandy not only knows that God exists, but also that Mary is the most beloved of his creations. How she can be so sure of this is anybody's guess, but I have a strong suspicion that nuns were involved...

[Martin]

So where is the item on the Miss Muslim Headdress contest? Or is that just a teaser?