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Richard Scudamore... Where did it all go wrong?

To say that Richard Scudamore has become an infamous figure in domestic football would be a gross understatement. As the race for the Premier League hots up, a certain unnamed newspaper columnist put his weight firmly behind the camp of Crystal Palace in their assault on the play-offs last weekend. His reasoning? Scudamore's allegiance to Bristol City.

The Agony and the ‘Exeter City Ecstasy’

Plainmoor, Torquay, 2:10pm –Monday 5th May 2008 - Torquay 1 (3) – 0 (1) Exeter

Dejected, disillusioned and incredibly despondent, is the only way to describe it. After driving over 3500 miles since August from Cardiff to follow Exeter City in over 25 games. Begrudgingly handing over countless £5.30 toll bridge fares and purchasing gallons of petrol to follow City home and away  was it seriously going to end like this?  Anti-climax doesn’t come close.

The Riot Act

With a string of passes and one finish that beat Marcus Hahnemann, Spurs had beaten Reading for a rare away win.  More surprising was Tottenham getting a win at all with the long string of draws that they have been achieving.  Perhaps there will be more stringing the fans along during a summer of speculation.

The trouble with Didier

I’m sure you all remember the days when you could shrug off the effects of a hangover by 11, leaving you clear-eyed and bushy-tailed when your elders and betters were still groaning into their coffee. Nights spent curled up in the architectural equivalent of Skinner’s box, with your head hanging over the edge of someone’s sofa, meant nothing to your lithe physique. Blessed with the springy, elastic frame of youth, the mild discomfort of a contorted night’s sleep soon gave way to the promise of a new day. But no longer.

5th time lucky? The key lies at the Palace.

You can't knock Bristol City fans for disliking the thought of settling for the Championship play-offs despite coming straight up from League 1 the previous season; In the 21 year history since the system was introduced domestically, City have been involved 4 times, and despite finishing in the top position twice, have consistently failed to win promotion using the contentious method.

They say that form doesn't matter in the play-offs, and they'd better be right - a 5-0 thrashing of Burnley by Crystal Palace on Sunday will have done their confidence no end of good. But, so long as we can keep 11 men on the field for more than 7 minutes, we should be able to surpass Burnley's somewhat meagre achievement at Selhurst Park.

Every Cloud (or Two Worlds Collide Part 2)

A week or so ago, the poster of the month awards for the last three months were posted on this Blog/Forum/Website. Once again there was no mention of us, with the awards going to people who address the general football issues of the day and thus (most importantly it seems) get loads of comments.

Being pretty proud of the stuff we post online and generally being a competitive sort of chap, its fair to say I was (pathetically?) a bit disgruntled by yet another snub by the 'award givers' of the Fanzone. 

It’s the despair AND the hope that kills you!

The former Brentford manager David Webb once described the play-offs as “a hell of a cup competition where you've got to play 46 games just to reach the semi-final!" And he’s right. I do not want even consider the idea that  come late Bank Holiday Monday afternoon all that hard work and endeavour put in through those 46 games could be worth nothing and we will be planning our sixth season as a Non-League club.

I’m so bo-o-red with the M-L-S!

Over the weekend I watched the Superclasico - the legendary name usually given to the clash between arch rivals River Plate and Boca Juniors, a powder keg derby of passion and excitement. Even though the score was 5-2, the match that I watched didn't live up to its grand title and was a very long way from Buenos Aires. I saw the LA Galaxy vs Chivas Honda Superclasico - an addition to the name as absurd as when they stuck a Starbucks next to Canterbury Cathedral - grafting commercial money grabbing onto sporting history.

Are Boro Safe?

With two games remaining, Boro are just above the relegation zone. It is possible for Middlesbrough to go down. Will they? or will they stay up?

Thank you Frank, thank you Avram

Seldom have I taken such pleasure in being wrong. And , in all honesty, that is the last time I will doubt the commitment, quality and character of Frank Lampard.

Exeter vs Torquay - A Momentous Encounter?

 It seems the public can’t get enough of their ‘moments’. In recent years we’ve witnessed the ‘100 greatest scary moments’, ‘100 greatest sexy moments’, ‘100 greatest tearjerkers’ and countless others spread over four or five hours on late night Channel 4.

There is a desire to see thousands of hours of events chopped up and diluted into a convenient countdown of ‘moments’.

In the interests of a quiet life

I see that, as always, the Anfield contingent has been out in force in the build-up to this game.

"Anticipation has a habit to set you up for disappointment..."

It could, of course, only happen to Manchester bloody City. Our long suffering supporters are used to the element of farce that comes following the club; as far as I'm aware we're still the only team to get knocked out of the F.A. Cup by a balloon, for instance. But the events of the last 24 hours, where it has transpired that Sven Goran Eriksson's position as manager has become untenable, are extremely difficult to comprehend or accept. This represents a major balls up, even by City's standards.

Drawing A Line Under The Season

Another 1-1 draw saw Spurs allow Bolton a vital point in their bid for Premier League survival and in the process take our unbeaten (and unwinning) run to four matches.  Hardly title winning form, but then that hasn't been on the agenda for a long time.

Not that the football was that bad, as the sun on our faces helped make the lack of three points easier to bear, as it signals a summer of haggling and money spent, of which some has been shelled out already.

So near, yet so far.

Just under 12 months ago I witnessed a travesty of a performance by Bristol City at Milwall, in a game that, had we won, would have sealed our promotion to the Championship. After that shambles, the thought of finishing in the Championship play-offs, with the Premiership prize still on offer well into May 2008, would have seemed a million miles away - had I even contemplated being there.

Fanzine Fanzone Fan of the Month Awards

You just never know when the champagne is going to turn up...not a sniff of bubbly for months and then three bottles arrive at once.

Yes, you've guessed it...it's time for Fanzine Fanzone's Fan of the Month Awards.

Come on Fergie, throw away your shackles

When the English travel to Europe they have a reputation for behaving exactly as they would at home, ignoring local customs, or throwing off all inhibitions and running wild. Not so the champions of English football. When Manchester United go away in the Champions League — they play in Barcelona on Wednesday — they forget their swashbuckling domestic ways and come over all continental, cautious and sober. Too often they end up looking like a red-faced beery Brit trying to blend in with the tanned Catalans on Las Ramblas.

Grant can ease nervous disorder

After the fireworks of the previous manager’s departure, Chelsea’s season has been characterised by a succession of nervous disorders. There was the borderline hysteria of the sacking, resignation, mutual hate-in; the mind-numbing catatonia of some of the more leaden games; the occasional bout of paranoia as key players like Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard edged ever closer to the exit; and finally the resentment — shaded with psychotic loathing — that surrounds an impending two-legged cup-tie with Liverpool. You could have blinked and missed the moments of ecstasy and yet, here we are, still in contention for as many trophies as this season’s outstanding team, Manchester United.

Forget tradition, can we keep Chelsea?

If familiarity does, indeed, breed contempt then Anfield will be empty on Tuesday. This may well be the 15th time the two clubs have met since the semi-final, first leg in 2005, but tickets will still be as rare as Dirk Kuyt controlling a pass or Frank Lampard keeping his shirt on. No one wants to miss this game. The fans’ contempt will instead be reserved for their visiting fat cats from Uefa and for the way they have prostituted the purity of the Coupe des Clubs Champions Européen, giving us instead the bloated marketing opportunity that is the Uefa Champions League, the biggest misnomer since Hitler thought he could throw a Nazi Party.

Recycling Garbage?

Joe Lovejoy, of The Sunday Times, ran an article today that you can read here. In it, He takes the Avram Grant comments from a recent press conference and runs with them. Boy, does he run with them.

Two World's Collide

Another Saturday another Premier League defeat for Derby County. Still, only 3 games to go now so this season from hell is nearly finished.

One thing that was a bit strange about Saturday's defeat, apart from the fact that we didn't actually deserve to lose, was the comparative attitude and mood of the two sets of fans.

What’s The Point ?

You could almost have predicted the outcome of Tottenham’s game at the JJB Stadium before the match took place.  In fact, rotten at predicting as I am, that is exactly what I did on the MEHSTG website.  It is a bit like a film you have seen before where you know that there will be a happy ending for someone.  And further to that, it might be worth a punt on the last three Spurs games finishing 1-1.

You could say things are looking up

Things are rosy at Portsmouth Football Club. According to a source well-placed inside the club, everyone is wandering along with meaningful smiles on their faces, smelling of roses. David James and Glen Johnson regularly have little chats about their respective afros, and apparently Mr Redknapp has been seen on more than one occasion skipping across the training pitch.

The Away Day Blues

“You travel with a certain amount of pre-match optimism- this is dangerous. Although you are on the road, away from your usual environs, you must try to keep a grip on reality. Just because you are making the effort doesn’t mean the players are going to” (Taken from ‘How To Support A Crap Football Team’ by Steve Crancher)

Robert Louis Stevenson once said “To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive.” and I’m sure football fans around the country echo his sentiments. How often is an enjoyable away trip instantly ruined by a few early goals with no hope of a comeback?

Bold Bruce Rewarded

After the 1-1 draw with Chelsea, Latics manager Steve Bruce was doubly happy. The result left the Latics six points clear of the relegation zone and also helped his former club, Manchester United, preserve most of their lead at the top of the table.

On what should have been a night of celebration for Chelsea as they notched up 100 home games unbeaten, the draw was little consolation in the race for the title.

Chris Kirkland was outstanding in the Wigan goal under the watchful eye of England manager Fabio Capello and Heskey's goal with have done him plenty of favours if the Italian stayed to the end this week.

Bruce was bold enough to add Antoine Sibierski and Jason Koumas to the game at a time when the Latics were 1-0 down and most managers would be wanting to preserve face.

However, this proved to be a tactical masterstroke by the former United skipper as first Sibierski was denied, before Koumas curled his cross behind the defence and onto the outstretched leg of Emile Heskey.

This was only the third goal of the season for the 29 year old but it cancelled out Michael Essien's striker earlier in the game for Chelsea as Wigan came away with a vital point.

Perhaps somewhat more suprising than the 1-1 scoreline was the comment from Bruce post game in which he confirmed the ability of United boss Sir Alex Ferguson to send a text message.

A fantastic result for the Latics as much as this must be a let down for Chelsea. A superb team performance and some cracking saves from Chris Kirkland means that mathematical safety is within touching distance.

"Our Wayne" Is Better Than Yours.

  I am still haunted by Wayne Rooney. Even now, sitting in my exile in the rust-belt of the Midwest, his short Everton career boomerangs back into my mind again and again. I was there in the Park End the day Wayne scored that goal. Sat there, in what - looking back - felt like a Royal box seat for Rooney's coming-of-age - I wasn't sure exactly what I was witnessing. Was Wayne going to be another false dawn like Danny Cadamarteri, the dreadlocked 17-year-old who came into the world of football feet first and hit the ground running, like a precocious young chess champ seemingly intent on playing a pickup game of speed chess with the Grand Masters.   

Stumbling Over The Finish Line

How often do we hear the phrase “It’s a marathon, not a sprint” ?  Too often, but on London Marathon day it might have more than a ring of familiarity with the tail end of Tottenham Hotspur’s season.

The Second Goal Was Offside!

Around half past two on Saturday afternoon, I was sat in the pub with a few friends having a good time. I had mentioned calling a taxi a couple of times but we'd put it off. One of the party then suggested that we forget about the game altogether. Almost every match-day has run a similar course this season; great pre-match banter and general chat, abruptly ended by going to the stadium. The afternoon generally goes downhill from there. As my Dad likes to say "we had a great day apart from the ninety minutes in the middle". We caved in though phoned a taxi to the ground.

Gareth Is Nearly There

Gareth Southgate is nearing the end of his second season as manager of Middlebrough FC. The former leader on the pitch is now beginning to show he can do as good a job off the pitch as he did so on it.

Once criticised by the media for his lack of experience and coaching qualifications, the Boro boss is now being tipped as a potential England manager for the future.

Episode 3 - The Search For A Watchable Game

I wonder… do Liverpool fans view the upcoming pair of fixtures against Chelsea with the same sense of impending tedium as I do? Probably not. Victory, as any modern Chelsea fan will tell you, goes a long way to relieving the spirit-crushing boredom of a soulless game. 

A lesson for Stoke and Hull

A few of the teams Derby have signed players from since January: Blackburn, Rangers, Man City, Tottenham, Everton. A few of the teams that players have left The Rams first team to join: Plymouth, Leicester, Stoke, Ipswich, Barnsley. When Craig Fagan left his right wing slot to become Hull's fourth choice striker it said everything, although I'd started to get the hint when our captain and centre forward both made a smooth transition to a club 5 places from League 1.

Toast

I suspect that's it for us now.  Sunderland stuffed us on our own turf.  Enough said.

Relegation?   I liken it to a hypothetical situation in which I am dumped by Jennifer Lopez:  fine, because I despise her and all she stands for, but... well, there were certain shallow perks that might occasionally be missed in the future.

Oh well.

Taking the first Step

What a difference three weeks makes eh?  At half time against Birmingham three weeks back we were starting to panic as we headed further towards the bottom three.  From the moment that second half whistle went, to now, 3 and a half games and 10 points later we look totally transformed and KK's first mission has been achieved - safety.

Communication Breakdown

Isn’t it funny when a player speaks exclusively to the club website ? I mean, we all know that ghost writers pen their auto-biographies, but do they do their entries on the website too ? That looked to be the case when Dimitar Berbatov and Robbie Keane had a stand up row in the middle of Ewood Park in what sparked up what looked like a game dying a slow and lingering death.

No Country For Old Men

Like a perfectly nuanced advertising campaign that convinces hordes of teenage girls that they simply have to buy those jeans, the people over the pond seem to have been duped by the smoke and mirrors of the Beckham brand. When Becks appeared on Jay Leno's chat show earlier this week, the crowd squealed as if a member of a boy band had strolled out; and in reality that's exactly what he is - the LA Galaxy, with their ersatz Real Madrid kit and their sub-prime "Galacticos" policy (sitting uneasily within the straitjacket of the MLS designated player rule) are a boy band of a team, and not even a good one. When Beckham told Leno that he'd just received his 100th cap for England the audience dutifully whooped, clapped, and hollered, before Leno asked him to explain what that exactly meant.

"Don't these times fill your eyes..."

These are frustrating times dear reader. City, having unexpectedly spent much of the season looking like genuine contenders for the top six, have reverted to type and are once again surrendering in games in the manner we have been doing for, well, the past 25 years. Saturday's abject display at St Andrews was one of the worse I've ever seen, but then I always say that so either City are getting progressively worse or I'm prone to hyperbole. I suspect the latter.

Thieving Magpies

Well, British Summer Time is here and don’t the Spurs players just know it ??  All that was missing today were a few deckchairs and some sun-tan lotion as the players basked in the spring sunshine and the glory of their League Cup win.

But hold on ... that was five weeks ago and is now approaching ancient history.

Dizzy Spell

Well, what was all the panic about eh?  At half time on Saturday, a few Geordies were developing nervous twitches as results all looked to be conspiring against us and the whiff of relegation started to appear again, but by the end of the weekend we were all but safe and with an absolute rout to our name and not even with us on the receiving end!  Heady times indeed!

Record Breaking Rams

Over the past few weeks, the media have increasingly speculated about which particular "worst ever" records Derby will break. Saturday saw an impressive hat-trick of: joint longest Premier League run without a win; first team to be relegated during March; the clubs longest winless streak.

The clubs new American owners General Sports Entertainment are quite big on "the match day experience" so I was disappointed not to see a hologram of Roy Castle appear at the final whistle, in the style of the absent Robbie Williams at a Take That concert. I can only think that the trumpet blast of "Dedication's what you need" put them off.

Stranger Than Fiction - Mansfield Town FC

Easter may have come early this year and taken many people by surprise but Mansfield fans would have been far more alarmed to discover this morning that April Fool's Day had not followed suit. Fans were up in arms that plans for their club, unveiled this morning in a leaked email, were not some newspaper hoax and in fact might be about to turn Mansfield into the biggest joke of all.

For fans of the Stags and football fans in general there is nothing remotely funny about this potential takeover with consequences seemingly too far fetched for any April fool’s day. Last week a Derby Fan humorously compared the goings on at his club to Harchester United, the team in the Sky One football soap Dream Team. I’m about to explain how, in the case of Mansfield Town FC, being compared to a fictional TV soap is one joke that’s about to go too far.