"Heaven knows I'm miserable now..."

It's seldom boring supporting Manchester City. I concede it can be humiliating, degrading and mortifying at times, but it's never dull. Well, apart from Stuart Pearce's tenure maybe. Sunday's 8 (EIGHT) - 1 capitulation at the hands of Middlesbrough was merely the latest in a long line of farcical events that City seem to have made their trademark over the years. We don't so much shoot ourselves in the foot as blow it clean off with a pump action shotgun. Except we'd probably miss. And the resulting bullet would ricochet around before lodging itself somewhere altogether more uncomfortable and make our remaining days even more bloody miserable. No one concedes eight goals in the Premiership, and certainly not to teams like Middlesbrough.

Fortunately family commitments meant I missed the game at The Riverside but, contrary to what Simon and Garfunkel think, it wasn't a better ride than what I had planned. Instead I found myself in Leeds, cheering on my nephew in an under 13's cup final. They lost 2-0 in case you're interested, but displayed roughly 17 times more skill, endeavour and courage than City had.

Just to compound my misery I had to endure a pack of guffawing Yorkshiremen (and women) chortling into their Tetley's as the day's scores filtered through. "Man City?", roared one such Fred Truman alike, "they're bloody rubbish!" to much amusement all round, whilst I bit my lip so hard I nearly severed an artery in my face.

To make matters worse I had to tell my young nephew (probably the only Manchester City supporter at Leeds Comprehensive) that not only had he just lost a final, but that City had lost, 8-1, much to the amusement of his team mates. As donkey scrubs and camel bites rained in on him, I caught his eye at the bottom of the melee, and I could see the resentment in his face. Why on earth did you make me support that team?!

Ah well. That which does not kill us can only make us stronger. I like to think that supporting City is a good prelude in dealing with the endless crushing disappointments life invariably throws at you.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the game, unfortunately. The sadist in me forced me to watch Match of the Day and, my god, we were monumentally bad. It was marginally less enjoyable than smashing your jaw on a door frame. Repeatedly. If, as we were led to believe, the players were so incensed by the treatment of Sven Goran Eriksson then what better opportunity to make a statement to sinister chairman Thaksin Shinwatra. Ironically this abject display will ultimately prove to be the final nail in Sven's coffin. Instead it was left to the fans to show support for the beleagured boss, with a fine Pink Floyd cover:

"We don't need no Phil Scolari,
We don't need Mourinho,
Hey Thaksin!
Leave our Sven alone..."

If only the players had displayed such creative flair and imagination.

So, another season passes in the soap opera world of Manchester City. By our standards it was a fairly low key season: being taken over by an exiled human rights abuser, the appointment and imminent sacking of a high profile European coach, getting knocked out of the FA Cup by a balloon, and enduring the two worst defeats in our recent history. Oh, and it looks like we'll qualify for Europe. By virtue of being the fifth least dirty team in the Premiership. Never a dull moment...

Ric Turner
www.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk

Comments

[Jones]

I don't think he does actually. Anyone who can kill off and resurrect three of his grandmothers can surely make a few hairs grow back.

[Will Fred]

Christ - you'll be telling me that Stephen Ireland doesn't wear a wig next.

[Jones]

So, OT's full every game - so what? There's more than enough daytripping Chinese, Irish and Norwegians around. Plus, even those deameaning little cup games are full cos the club forces the fans to buy tickets. And you call our chairman parasitic?

Yes, the Glazers own the stadium at the moment although they've still only really paid off the interest for the loans. They can only hike ticket prices up so much. Then what?

As for why United fans are bitter, well, mention Liverpool's European record, the fact that Arsenal's football is much more admired than theirs and the perception that City's fans are regarded as loyal and funny whereas theirs are are just seen as humourless glory-hunters and watch the bile spew. Any United responses to this will merely prove my point.

[hors manure]

who cares ? well YOU obviously ! so let me get this right - old trafford was full every week when you were winning nowt , and your attendances have increased only because the capacity has gone up ? are you by any chance gordon brown ?? BTW your relegation season was 74/75 not 75/76 - nice try though

[Will Fred]

Hors Sense

1. It's 32 years not 30. 33 unless you win a gong before Xmas.Nice try though
2. You'll find Old Trafford's capacity is up 70% which may help answer your question - full houses in the old second division 75/76 when we weren't exactly ripping up trees
3. Barrow/Liverpool - stop rambling, who cares?

[hors manure]

and of course old trafford would be packed to the rafters every week if they had gone 30 years without a trophy ?? check your average attendance in 88/89 (before the trophy haul under fergie began) and nowadays - approx 70% increase !!! and apparently in those bygone days you could not move around barrow in furness without seeing liverpool shirts ?

[Will Fred]

Ah bless Graham, we are not allowed to comment on our next door neighbours - boo hoo. We "Rags" take as mcuh pleasure in your long running demise as you do in our odd setbacks.

Yep, the Glazers do indeed own Old Trafford, the council own Wastelands but your club is run by a Far Eastern politician with an "interesting" human rights record whose first choice was actually to try and buy Liverpool. Interesting alternative.

Oh yeah, what about those empty seats though ?

[Micky]

Ironically, you got knocked out of the FA Cup by a balloon belonging to your own supporters too. Classic.

It seems when City do something good, like win both Manchster derbies for the first time in nearly 4 decades (close to when they last won the league) for instance, they shoot themselves in the foot several fold by losing 6-0 at Chelsea when 3rd, and trying to prove you're serious about playing European Football, lose 3-2 when 2-0 up to the team in 19th place then embarass yourselves at Riverside.

There should be one person they should get rid of at your club, the owner, unless you can employ a manager as ruthless as your owner was when prime minister of the nameless country he comes from.

It was a Manchester Sunday, a United one, not a City one.

[Gary]

hahahaha
United fans are 'bitter' - why?
City won both Derbies - so?
City fans, be honest, you have nothing to celebrate this season and an owner even more parasitic than the Glazers. Say byebye to Micah Richards and hello to the Championship by next year, you'll be much happier there, tara.

[Graham Whitty]

Well bless my soul a Rag in the form of Will Fred reading a Blues fanzone. What a parasite and to think not one Blue hasm entioned the Derbies. Saddo being Blue but even worse being a rag with nothing better to do than catch upon someone elsies dirt. Paranoid Reds as ever.CTID

[Jones]

Always makes me smile when our not-at-all-bitter neighbours refer to our stadium as "the counil house". Yes, it belongs to the city in which we play and can never be sold or renamed to make a quick buck. Who exactly owns Old Trafford at the moment?

[Will Fred]

So both Hors Manure and "Ric" had "family commitments" on the last day of the season? What a coincidence - looking at the empty seats at the council house most weeks there must be an awful lot of busy people in Stockport with very, very pressing "family commitments".

No end of season open top bus tour for being Champions of Manchester then ?

[hors manure]

in an effort to avoid yesterdays rag fest , i removed myself to barrow in furness to visit a family relative - after a sunny afternoon on walney island we retired to the town centre in search of a quick pint before leaving for the m6 , i passed about 6 pubs which had several persons in red AIG tops stood in the doorway -eventually entering the "derby" pub near the main shopping centre , i gulped my first sip of tetleys as "giggsy- wiggsy" (was he not the biggest cnut ever to wear a red shirt only a few short weeks ago, according to most stretford fans ? ) scored uniteds second - "never mind" i said to my missus , city will win to save our (ever crumbling) credibility ! the gasps followed by laughter as the 8-1 scoreline was flashed on the screen will live with me for a long time - we city fans are used to humiliation on a regular basis , this seasons first half was outstanding and we were right to believe that it was the start of something good (for once) it has been back to square one since christmas , which makes yesterdays events even harder to stomach (it is like a kid getting a new bike for it,s birthday then being told five months later that it has to go back !) - the next management appointment is crucial , i can only see "the special one" making any difference at all -otherwise we will be spitting the same bitter bile once more , this time next year .