Chelsea stroll as Ferguson mobilises

In my blissful ignorance, I imagine everything in China to be state-owned. Obviously this is unlikely to be the case but, for the sake of a cheap gag, I’ll cheerily depict the Chinese Football League as an entirely state-run organisation where the weekly winners are selected on the basis of regional productivity.

-    Ah, I see that handheld radio manufacture is up 22% in Hunan. They shall defeat Sichuan Guancheng by 3 goals to nil this weekend.
-    What... no recognition of Sichuan’s grassland-clearing project?
-    Very well. Guancheng may have a consolation goal late in second-half injury time.   

A quick glance at Wikipedia, that fountain of conjecture and opinion, tells me that Guangzhou Pharmaceutical have changed their badge (and name) 6 times since 1984, each time incorporating their new sponsor’s name and logo. I can’t imagine what the outcry would be if the Glazers turned round and informed Sir Ferg that their team would henceforth be known as Manchester Gatorade, or indeed if the Surrey supporter base would even notice that their home ground had been re-christened “The Gatorade FizzBowl”, but clearly the Guangzhou fans are a patient lot. I’ve no idea what it’s like to live under a communist regime. Forbearance is probably an important life skill to develop.

Guangzhou Pharmaceutical were, of course, Chelsea’s first pre-season opponents on their now-customary Oriental cash-and-grab tour. Something to do with spreading the brand, no doubt. Any concerns about the “Pharmaceutical” part of the club’s name – personally, I wondered if we were about to face 11 exquisitely tinkered-with examples of biochemical engineering... a sort of Universal Soldier for the football pitch – were quickly dispelled as Chelsea went to town on an obliging Guangzhou. 4 goals from 4 players, including the exciting but very gangly prospect Franco di Santo, meant a comfortable win with the absolute minimum of fuss. It was almost enough for everyone to stop talking about Frank Lampard’s contract-or-not.

Almost.

On a different subject, I don’t suppose there’s any chance we could stop referring to Ferguson’s half-baked bile as “mind games”? Even otherwise reputable newspapers seem happy to try and pass off these comments as the opening salvo of a devastating psychological blitzkrieg. You’ll have to excuse me while I refer back to my Sun Tzu and find the particular chapter that deals with destabilising your enemy by making vaguely derogatory remarks at a pre-season press conference. Perhaps it’s in the annotated Wordsworth Classics edition, next to Appendix C: Pre-emptive Strikes in the Transfer Market.

To be fair to Ferguson, there’s actually very little controversy to be found in his recent rumblings. Saying that it’s hard for Chelsea to progress beyond what Mourinho achieved... well, that’s like saying that it’s hard for Sir Edmund Hilary to find a bigger mountain. In terms of domestic results, Mourinho had it all his own way for over two years. As fans, many of us echo the suspected sentiments of our owner. Is it possible for Chelsea to achieve that relentless domination of League football whilst introducing elements of Barcelona-like flair to the tactics? Anyone who watched United consistently last year will know that they approached these heights, but that they never truly sacrificed pragmatism for exuberance. When they played Chelsea in the second League game, it was partly their caution that exposed them. And the same could be said of the Champions League final, where both Drogba (in open play) and Terry had chances to win the game.

So, here we are. Far-flung friendlies and Ferguson’s flatulence. The season’s so close, you can almost smell the money. 

Comments

[Joe Tooga]

If recent history is anything to go by, this man Scolari is a bafoon! He has won nothing for Portugal in 5 years. Despite having good players at his disposal and playing at "home", he managed to lose to Greece twice in the €uro2004 in Portugal, and lose the Championship in the process. Another example of his "qualities" was Portugal's disastrous qualifying campaign for €uro 2008! Portugal only just managed to qualify by the scruff of the neck against very, very mediocre opposition. His football tactics are laughable and his substitutions ridiculous. His interviews are masterpieces of bufoonery and ignorance. When he does not know how to explain his pathetic errors... he simply plays the "phylosophical" clown. Of course... with the players he has, a place in the top three is guaranteed!!! JOE TOOGA

[johnboyblue]

With essien playing in midfield now bosinegwa is at right back, and an improoving mikel taking over the holding role, chelsea will be stronger than ever.

[Patrick Flynn]

Ferguson is an absolute joke to talk about age being a Chelsea problem ! After announcing his proposed retirement about five years ago,the mancs almost fell apart ! Using his fertile imagination he decided that they couldn't survive without him ! He then decided to stay on ! It is now becoming increasingly apparent that the job has become far too much for him to handle ! Senile dementia is beginning to take it's toll on the old boy !

[Plum coloured nose]

You know the article is rubbish when it has this ....

Chelsea’s first pre-season opponents on their now-customary Oriental cash-and-grab tour

Since when has America been in the Orient, seeing as Chelsea have been there for around the last 3 seasons ?

Can't even get simple things like that right .

The 2 teams starting 11 have roughly the same age, Fergie is going senile.

[Rob]

I'm not sure you quite understood what I was saying. Giordano. Lost in translation, perhaps.

Chelsea pushed United all the way to the wire last season. Along the way, they were missing their main striker and their captain for significant chunks of the season.

The point is that for Ferguson to say it's hard to improve on what Mourinho has done... well, of course it is. He won everything in England. What are Chelsea going to do for an encore... enter themselves for the World Cup? Not that I'd put it past Kenyon...

I'm still convinced that Chelsea are the stronger team. As for your point about Drogba, Cole, Lampard and Ballack... I'd say that at least 3 out of 4 are at their peak. Barring injuries, Chelsea should be capable of taking the title back.

[MrScott]

The touble with the cmment made is that the dunces responsible no nothing at all about the mechanics of the Chelsea Football Club. We willbuy the best available and constantly rotate the current squad Di Santo is inally getting a gig obviouslyhighr on the pecking order than Ben Sahr and themn if we get Robinho it's all cahane at Platform 1 once aain In a few words never write off the Chelsea. My Religion My team!!

[blue boy]

fergie should just shut his pie hole..... there's still the champion's league, that was way beyond mourinho's reach

[Giordano Bennetti]

I agree that there is nothing controversial in what Ferguson is saying. He is not being insulting. He's just making the point that Chelsea are very good but are (in horseracing terms) exposed; whereas Arsenal and Liverpool have more potential for improvement - though from a lower base. It's an interesting point, and suggests he thinks that, since Chelsea weren't good enough last season, if United stay at the same level (or improve) then Chelsea won't be good enough this season.

Ferguson must believe (and with good reason) that Rooney, Tevez, Ronaldo, Anderson and Nani have plenty of scope for improvement.

At Chelsea, Drogba, Cole, Lampard, Ballack and Shevchenko have all clearly peaked, and Wright-Phillips, Malouda and Anelka have flopped. It will be up to the new signings - like Deco (who is surely past his best already) - and the younger players - like Kallou (who looks nothing special) - to provide the improvement. It looks unlikely.