Sheikh Your Money

It’s getting increasingly difficult keeping up with events at Manchester City these days. Many Blues woke up this morning nursing sore heads after an impressive 3-0 victory had lifted the level of expectations at Eastlands, only to discover that the club were in the process of being taken over by an incredibly wealthy Arab consortium. To put it in perspective, their collective wealth makes Roman Abramovich look like Franny Lee. These are truly exciting times at City.

I keep fearing that the last year has been a prolonged twisted dream, and I’ll wake up to discover it’s still 2006 and Stuart Pearce is tracking players of the calibre of Billy Sharp and Izale McLeod. Luckily, it is true. I’ve seen it on Sky Sports News, so it must be, right? Adding to the sense of surrealism, a father and son combo were interviewed with tea towels gaffer taped to their foreheads in a bizarre Mancunian welcome to our new Arab owners. Knowing our luck, they’ll find the whole thing so distasteful that they’ll withdraw their offer.

So who exactly are our new wealthy benefactors? Going under the dubious name Abu Dhabi United, they will be represented on the board by Dr Sulaiman Al-Fahim. With Dr Thaksin Shinawatra retaining a small shareholding we’ll soon have enough doctors to open a hospital. Which is a good job really, as the levels of excitement in the blue three-quarters of Manchester are such that many people will be requiring medical assistance before the end of the day.

Media reports are suggesting that a big name signing is imminent too, with Dimitar Berbatov and Thierry Henry amongst the names being mentioned. Obviously, every silver lining is tainted by a cloud, and it is with great regret that Ecuadorian striker “Big Phil” Caicedo has left the club after a staggering return of, um, no goals in a City shirt. See ya Phil.

When Thaksin Shinawatra took over City in 2007, we were treated to a Thai-themed party in Albert Square. Hopefully we’ll get a similar Arabian night this time around.

Let the good times roll again. I need a lie down. God (sorry, Allah) only knows what developments will have occurred the next time I wake, but I'll settle for a triple swoop for Lionel Messi, Kaka and Cesc Fabregas. Nothing seems implausible any more.