Everton in Limbo

They say that problems come in threes, and for Everton read: Blackburn, Liverpool, and Standard Liege. Like a classic hat-trick, Everton's trio of losses have involved both feet and a head...The feet are both lodged in Moyes' mouth, and his head is in his hands.

In reality though, we have more than three issues. Troubles have come in all shapes and sizes for us and the People's Club has been pebble-dashed with problems.

Everton have ticked several boxes in the self destruct manual of late; moving from a panic stricken summer, to a shaky autumn. The fact that the angst grew all summer, with AJ leaving, Wyness leaving, noone signing and Kirby plunging into stadium pergatory meant that by the time Moyes did sign someone we had already torn our hair out.

And then there's the absence of Lee Carsley. Our wily Irish mechanic was allowed to move to Birmingham. He had been the perfect shield for our defence - a defence that, it turns out, flattered to deceive and now looks dangerously porous. The levee has broken without Carlsey and Moyes' answer, £15m Fellaini and cheap Equadorian Segundo Castillo, is an attempt to replace an Oak with two acorns.

The loss of Carsley has caused a big splash, rippling both ways towards defence and attack. At the back Tim Howard, our elastic goalkeeper who always exerted a firm control over his defence, has now morphed into a Quiet American. Our back four have layered mistake upon mistake. Recently our international defender, Joleon Lescott, has seemed to lie back and think of England, letting many a wide man use him as a doormat. Our other defenders, Yobo, Neville, and Jagielka, have also been like frail facsimiles of last season's defenders.

Up front the adage goes that if you feed the Yak, he will score, but recently he has had to bin-dive for scraps of service. Ironically, with such a stripped bare midfield, even Andy Van Der Meyde could get into our side, but alas he's injured and seems content to Bacardi breeze through his career.

And finally there is Moyes, whose unsigned contract remains the most potent sign of our instability. He has been, throughout his reign, a melding of austere dourness and molten ambition, like a stodgy Scotch broth laced with Scotch whisky. All the uncertainty should come to an end very soon, as I write this he has said: "I am here and I will sign a new contract with Everton shortly, maybe even before the weekend."
But, like the late, late, signing of Fellaini, has the damage already been done? For months now, Moyes has been walking around like a married man not wearing his wedding ring; signing this contract guarantees his commitment, but not his future.

For the architect of the People's Club, uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

Comments

[Paul Jones]

"David Moyes is a football genuis" as the travelling Kop sang at the Derby. I really, really hope the deluded fool signs that new contract. Please Gollum, make my christmas come early.

And please keep using "The People's Club" term, it's very amusing. Especially when the only time that wooden pit is filled is when reds snap up the left over tickets every year. Comedy.

Thank you.

[Big Philly]

Let`s hope Moysie does sign up as he is now as big a laughing stock as `Wally` Smith,

`Out of Europe twice in a month..` song has been replaced by Evertons new sponsors...Easyjet, In and Out of Europe in 90 minutes......

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!