Arsenal: A letter from Nike to Nicklas Bendtner

[Disclaimer: our reporter imagines how the company might have reacted to the Dane's performance against Burnley]

Dear Nicklas,

                    We are writing to you today to inform you that we are terminating the contract that allows you to wear our new Nike Mercurial Vapor Rosa boots

At Nike we worked long and hard on the celebrated pink boots and each time we see a player sporting the Rosas all of us here at Nike feel a great sense of pride.

However, here at Nike we believe in sticking to our word above all else.  To us there is nothing worse than breaking a promise.  I must now point you in the direction of our press release for the Rosas.

“The Mercurial Vapor is the boot of choice for some of the fastest and most prolific strikers in football today."

While we certainly admire your stand-out confidence Nicklas, we feel that we may have been a bit rash when handing you the Rosas.  We feel that though you have a lot of potential it would not be fair to class you as one of the “most prolific strikers in football today”.

We understand that you will be hugely disappointed by this notification but we must act in the best interests of Nike and currently your performances are slowly beginning to tarnish the pristine reputation of this company.

We greeted your goal against Dynamo Kiev with many a cheer in the Nike office as your first goal in the Rosas was awaited with bated breath.  But despite this, the glaring one-on-one chances that you squandered against Burnley eclipsed the small success of the Kiev goal.

At Nike, we view teamwork as a holy principle that should not be voided by any callous individual.  On Tuesday, it was apparent that you were going out of your way to run around in circles instead of playing simple balls to your teammates.  There were flashes of potential, but once again these stood in the shadow of your painfully clear errors.

We can understand some of your frustration in playing in the Carling Cup, but what you must realise is that you put on a display of incompetence and petulance that shamed you, your team and most importantly the sacred Rosas.

Here at Nike we can no longer associate our showcase product with your sub-par finishing and misplaced arrogance.

It is with a deep sense of sadness (rarely is our judgment so poor) that we have decided to terminate your association with the Nike Mercurial Vapor Rosa boots.  You must turn in your boots to your nearest Nike outlet and resume play with your previous model.  If you are seen to be wearing the Rosas again within a ten mile radius of Arsenal’s training ground or the Emirates Stadium, then you will be contacted by our legal team.

Wishing you all the best on your Rosa-less future.

                                                                    Nike

Comments

[Cassie Jones]

" Bentner should have his poofters pink boots shoved where the sun don't shine ."

Posted by: Ivan | 4 Dec 2008 15:18:00

Look, just found this in the OED:

"Poofter, noun:
Word used by closeted homosexuals to describe those whom they wish to emulate/shag;

Word used by small-minded, narrow individuals whose vocabulary is so limited and imagination so dull that they think that references to sexuality (real or imagined) constitute an insult."

[Justin]

You do realize he is wearing them for breast cancer research?

[Kim]

Oh yeah Kay, Keane's done so well with that old fashioned "non nonsense" approach of late hasn't he? Get with the times darling. It just doesn't work with the modern footballer. And some of the comments here are just thinly veiled homophobia. Grow up boys and stop getting your knickers in a twist about a pair of pink boots. So what??? It takes balls to wear them - but the irony of that has been lost on you "lads." Obviously you all need to go out and grow a pair. Who knew that the typical British male would be soooo intimidated by the colour pink. And if any of you jokers dare call yourselves Arsenal fans, get behind the lad and give him some support. He's 20 years old for god's sake. I hope he flaunts these boots at every bloody game!

[Liam]

He wears them to show his support for breast cancer, hence why they are pink. So don't call him arrogant or a show off for wearing pink boots.

[Raymond]

Great bit of fun. I live in Denmark where the locals think that the sun, moon and stars shine out of the spot where his boots, of any colour, should be. The local commentators gave him tonnes of praise after an Arsenal match a couple of weeks ago in which he was dreadful, as usual ... the same week in which he was rated to little more than 3 on BBCs player rater.

[Raymond]

Great bit of fun. I live in Denmark where the locals think that the sun, moon and stars shine out of the spot where his boots, of any colour, should be. The local commentators gave him tonnes of praise after an Arsenal match a couple of weeks ago in which he was dreadful, as usual ... the same week in which he was rated to little more than 3 on BBCs player rater.

[kop4life]

Pink boots??? well i guess bendtner figures after so many poor performances for the first team he might try get a spot in Arsenal womens team hahaha....its sad you consider bendtner your 4th striker, when you have players like Vela thats younger and soo much better. As for liverpool we have torres, keane, kuyt, babel, ngog. all of which are better than bendtner...

[Jasper Ford]

lol nani doesn't deserve those boots. Ronaldo ye. Bentner no :P

[Marcus]

wow thats hilarious, i read it and didn't thnik it was real, wow that sucks. lmao he's not worthy of the boots in my opinion but some people really aren't like Nani, good. Ronaldo, good. Ibrahimovic, exellent, Bendtner, questionalbe. he doesn't play much so when he does he should make it fantastic, look at Tevez agianst Wigan (?) brilliant. anyways whutever

Tommy Smith, Norman Hunter, Johnny Giles, Jack Charlton, Chopper Harris, David Webb, Ron Yeats etc etc etc. Bendtner wouldn't have got out of the tunnel in his pink boots. The boots, with Bendtner still in them would have been flushed down the nearest convenience. These chaps thought Alan Balls white boots were girlie and they lasted only one season [along with Georgie Best side ties which were like slippers and yes I had a pair - for one season - the limit to the amount of stick I could take!!!!]

[AQ]

haha classic! bendtner is the worst arsenal player i've seen in a while

[Charlie]

He epitomises everything wrong with modern football. Don't get me wrong, there are many great things about the premier league and world football in general. However, morons with mulletts and pink boots like Bendtnar who think they are great, drawing ridiculous salaries for doing bugger all, are detrimental to the game and society as a whole. If I was as bad at my job as he is I would get sacked.

[Ladi]

Bendtner was certainly awful on tuesday. But he wasn't the only one! He is selfish and a tad arrogant though, that must be said. The youngsters did well in the Carling cup overall. But the worry is, are they ready to play top flight next season? I predict the loss of cesc, adebayor and gallas. Sad times at the Arsenal!

[jim]

Sure Bendtner isn't great but he's only 20 and at the end of the day he's still only our 4th choice striker after Ade, RVP and Edu. Compare that to the 4th choices at the other "big 4", United have Welbeck after Rooney, Berba and Tevez, Chelsea have Di Santo after just Drogba and Anelka so god knows who their 4th choice is and I gues 'pool have Ngog after Torres, Keane and Kuyt. So who would you rather have up front Bendtner, Welbeck, Di Santo or Ngog? I'm prettey sure I'd feel happier with the pink boots up front then any of the other 3.

[Josh]

Ivan> He's a tosser? Well, then, no place for him at our club, regardless of how good he is... It doesn't make any sense to give him stick, though, and then say you'd rather see Vela and Simpson - they both need support to, and neither is as good as Bendtner.

Jakk> You may well be right that he's not ready to be first choice sub yet, but that's Wenger's fault, not his. How much more ready do you think he'd look if he got a bit of support instead of stick for something he has no control over?

He has Ade, RvP, and Eduardo ahead of him; any other team would love to have, as 4th or 5th choice, a 20 year old with great potential, and would back them when, due to injuries, the youngster ended up playing a lot more than intended.

[Rob]

Isn't it lovely that in moments of crisis, the Gooners turn on their own.

Don't tell me... your next witticism will be to demand Wenger's resignation.

[LiverpoolFaithful]

Haha! This is really funny but in all seriousness... bendtner is a decent striker and is still learning at such a young age. Cut him some slack alrite? In arsenal, strikers like these will turn into world class players under the management at the Emirates. He is a true striker with maybe a little bit of arrogance but confidence is vital in surviving in the rough world of football today. Pink boots or no pink boots, bendtner is still in my list for upcoming strikers in football today. :D

[Kevo P]

This is a hilarious article, fair play. I dont even support Arsenal and it still pains me to watch Bendtnar on a football pitch. Is Wenger losing his mind?? Why does he keep playing that DONKEY

[Kevo P]

This is a hilarious article, fair play. I dont even support Arsenal and it still pains me to watch Bendtnar on a football pitch. Is Wenger losing his mind?? Why does he keep playing that DONKEY

[Jakk]

That article was pure gold lol

@Josh + Barry:

Denilson might have potential but he should not be holding a first-team place. Fabregas has to cover him at times which prevents him to push up and do his thing.

Bendter is no prodigy and it isn't his lack of finishing that has most people pissed off, it's his 'misplaced arrogance' and lack of teamwork and effort. His terrible passing and finishing definately doesn't help though. Carlos Vela should be starting ahead of him, now there's a true prodigy.

[Jakk]

This article was pure gold.

@Josh+Barry: denilson might have potential but he shouldn't be holding down a first-team spot, as for bendter he is no prodigy of any kind. Also many are pissed off at him not because of his lack of finishing, but his 'misplaced arrogance' and seemingly lack of teamwork and effort. His woeful passing and finishing definately doesn't help. Carlos Vela should definately be starting ahead of him in my opinion, now there's a prodigy.

[-dean]

Badly written, childish and spiteful. Call yourself a supporter?

[Football Boot]

Bendtner deserves the stick he is getting.

Arrogant, lazy and so cocky he wears pink boots!

Great post....

[Nik]

Yeah, he is only 20.That's why he should be on loan somewhere else. Gunners need more reliable strikers now!!!

[Ivan]

Josh says " he's a brilliant prospect". He's a tosser Josh , plain and simple . Another Senderos . We couldn't sell him - we had to put him out on loan !!Simpson and Vela play well together and Simpson's reward for getting 2 goals in the previous round was a place on the bench at Burnley!Bentner and Almunia should be sent packing ASAP and Bentner should have his poofters pink boots shoved where the sun don't shine .