Fanzine Fanzone - Times Online - WBLG

Man United: At least Real Madrid won't hijack this deal

Craig Malpas

A few days ago during this weird mini-heat wave we have been enjoying in Manchester, my girlfriend asked me why Michael Owen got relegated. I thought he was good, she said, with the simplistic view that only bad players get relegated. I contemplated explaining the Newcastle saga but decided to agree that ‘yes, he’s alright’. Then came the line she has been triumphantly reminding me of tonight, she suggested that United should buy him. Yeah, course they should sweetheart – let’s get you out of the sun now you’re talking nonsense.

Is Fergie G-Owen crazy? Maybe, but I like it.

As everybody has known, Michael Owen is available on a free. Initially, clubs like Hull and Stoke were credited with an interest. Nah, he’s too good for them was my suggestion. Then there was talk that Villa and Everton could be in for him. He could be good at Villa or Everton was my initial reaction, with a bit more thinking, though, I began to think that if he still has the magic, he could be really, really good at Villa or Everton. That’s where I left it, Owen to Villa or Everton, that’ll be lovely.

Next thing I know, Sky Sports are showing a top story that the deal to United was ‘imminent’ - I thought I was seeing things. You know the way Peter Kay described garlic bread, I was much the same when digesting the headline. Michael Owen to Manchester United. What?? Crikey, Fergie, we are scraping the barrel here, big man, a bit risky I thought, bit of a gamble signing Owen. Then I thought, is it really a gamble? After all, the outlay is nothing, if the deal goes through we will be signing a player who can offer something to United which we haven’t had for the last few years. When he is fit, sharp and, most importantly, hungry, Owen is a predator. He has the instinct and desire which Van Nistelrooy had. Give either of them the ball in the box and it will probably go in. He also offers something which Rooney and Park are often guilty of lacking: clinical finishing when they only have the keeper to beat. Michael Owen with a point to prove and the desire and stage to prove it would be a cracking signing for any of the top teams on the Premiership.

Alan Shearer - the return of the saviour

   

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more bizarre in NE1, they manage to outdo themselves again.  As you will no doubt have heard, Alan Shearer has returned to St James' Park, initially as manager until the end of the season, to general astonishment and delight amongst the support.

Let's look at the facts - as of 11pm last night, Newcastle were absolutely, unequivocally going down. The management team of Hughton and Calderwood had no clue or direction and a returning Kinnear would have added absolutely zero to that combination of attributes. The team, already hindered by being (for the most part) garbage, lacked any sort of leadership to drag them out of the horrible mess they were in. Replacing that set-up with ANYTHING is a start.

The fact that Shearer is my (and many other Mags) absolute all-time hero obviously gives the whole place a massive boost. Is he qualified for the job? Who knows. One thing is for certain, he's as qualified as the clowns that are running the show at present. What he will bring is a huge lift to the place and hopefully an element of respect from the players that is sadly lacking at present.

He still has a massive task in keeping the club up and if he does manage that, then serious changes need to be made if we are to avoid relegation next season. Ashley and Llambias have made a pitiful job of running things and bringing Shearer in will be no more than a short term fix if a proper MD isn't appointed to run the club in a professional manner. 

It is also unthinkable that Shearer would take any sort of direction from Dennis Wise and a competent, proven management team will need to be drafted in in the close season to help him out - as surely he will be here for longer than eight games.

I hope that this isn't a desperate last throw of the dice by Ashley to prop up some allegedly desperate-looking season ticket sales. If the mistakes over Keegan are repeated here, then Ashley risks more than a boycott-driven backlash - the whole future of the club would be at stake.

As for now...it couldn't be in (realistically) better hands.

Good luck Al, son.

Gareth Harrison
True Faith

Black and white blood

The Newcastle Fanzone has been very quiet recently. Things have been rather busier at Newcastle United. Five weeks into the football season and it’s already impossible to summarise the goings-on at St James’ Park without the result resembling something like War and Peace – in terms of length and theme.

Mercifully, a summary is unnecessary, given the blanket media coverage the whole sorry circus has generated. So where are we now? In a right rotten mess.

Last Saturday, as anti-Ashley songs were sung outside, Newcastle’s players ran out onto the St James’ pitch to ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’. It was movingly apt. ‘And ambitions are low, and the resentment rides high,’ sang Ian Curtis. The fact that a pathetic Newcastle gifted three vital points to the mighty Hull City seemed to be lost amid the surrounding protestations.

Shola Ameobi was booed from the pitch after turning in a typically inept performance. Danny Guthrie was applauded from the pitch after stupidly breaking a fellow pro’s leg. It was a thoroughly depressing afternoon. At the final whistle, the stadium DJ played ‘There Is A Light That Never Goes Out’. I felt like blubbing.

In the pub we looked into the bottom of our pint glasses and talked about the final straw and the end of the line. Because this is not about Mike Ashley or Kevin Keegan, it’s about 40 years of mismanagement and failure. That Freddy Shepherd had the gall to turn up on Sky Sports News offering the ‘I-told-you-so’s was gobsmacking. Relegation is now a real and looming possibility, and bouncing back from such a blow is no longer a given – just ask fans of Leeds United or Nottingham Forest or Sheffield Wednesday.

Taking the first Step

What a difference three weeks makes eh?  At half time against Birmingham three weeks back we were starting to panic as we headed further towards the bottom three.  From the moment that second half whistle went, to now, 3 and a half games and 10 points later we look totally transformed and KK's first mission has been achieved - safety.

Dizzy Spell

Well, what was all the panic about eh?  At half time on Saturday, a few Geordies were developing nervous twitches as results all looked to be conspiring against us and the whiff of relegation started to appear again, but by the end of the weekend we were all but safe and with an absolute rout to our name and not even with us on the receiving end!  Heady times indeed!

Sky, Setanta and Looking After Your 'Customers'

If ever you wondered where the priority of the decision makers in our national game lies or where the balance of power has shifted now completely, then something as seemingly minor as a few fixture changes has summed it up neatly in the past couple of days.

Not Much Hope In Our Hearts

Another weekend of unfavourable results coupled with a predictable loss at Anfield has plunged NUFC deep into the mire and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that the next fortnight could determine which division we find ourselves in next season.   

Panic on the Streets of NE1

A heartbreaking defeat left Newcastle deep in relegation trouble on Saturday after other results at the bottom left us just three points from the drop zone.  After trying our hand at losing whilst playing miserably the last few weeks, we went for the novel option of dominating the game throughout only to blow it in kamikaze fashion this week and most were left scratching their heads as to how we actually lost.

The Waiting Game

So the hunt for the first win in the new Keegan era goes on after a disappointing game against not really local non-rivals Middlesbrough at SJP.  However, it is difficult to be too downhearted as this is certainly the team that Sam built and as he looked down from the Sky gantry (what is it about Sky employing our failures as pundits – Gullit, Souness, Allardyce…) it would be difficult for him to find any evidence of where we were going to progress under his stewardship.

It Coulda Been Us!

After all the excitement of this week and the subsequent hackneyed lines eminating from Fleet Street (or Wapping!) about us winning every game 6-5 from now on, it was written that Keegan's first game back in charge would end nil-nil.  I'll try not to be too disrespectful to a Bolton side that are fighting for their lives and need every point they can find but dear me, they were negative.