Crisis - broken computer

Dear readers, service on this blog this weekend is going to suffer I am afraid because my brand new HP computer has died. I won't bore you with the details...

I was in the middle of writing a piece about the Swimming Pool section when, after dashing out to meet up with Lewis for a short chat after the second session of practice, I returned to find a lifeless machine. The point I was trying to make was that I thought I had more or less got used to the ridiculousness of Formula One cars racing around the cramped streets of Monaco when I first visited on race weekend last year. I was wrong. Today I spent half an hour on the trackside on a beautiful sunny day and I was stunned by the speed and precision on show during the two sessions of practice.

Anyone who genuinely believes that modern Formula One drivers no longer require a big and brave heart should come here and see what these guys get up to and how committed they need to be to get anywhere near the pace. Today I had been at the second, slower, part of Swimming Pool - that is the right-left switch at 60mph(second gear) - for some time when I decided to amble along towards the first, much faster, first section where the drivers throw their cars left-right at 125mph(sixth) and then accelerate along the short straight with terrifying speed. I could barely believe my eyes and - truth to say - I started swearing under my breath as first DC came ripping past, then Koo-bick-a, then Fisi - each one on the edge of the infintessimally small margin between coherence and catastrophe.  Racing cars perhaps, but more like jet fighters on the ground and something which television pictures can never bring home. You simply have to come to Monte Carlo and see it for yourself. (On that subject, I am enjoying my second visit - computer problems nothwithstanding- much more than my first. It's better when you know how the place fits together).

Back at the second section I noticed a few things that may interest you. First the cars are much smoother sounding than they were with traction control and other electronic aids when they rattled and spluttered through the corners. Second you sense, when you are this close, how off-putting a car immediately in front must be when a driver is concentrating so hard just trying to stay on the track and not hit the barriers. Third, again a function of being so close, you see perhaps more clearly than anywhere the difference between a car on a hot-lap and one on a more routine tour of the track. When they are on it, the car seems to be straining in every sinew as the power pulses through the chassis and the front-end twitches under braking and acceleration. Slippin' and a slidin' they go with the driver's hands whipping over, left-over-right then right-over-left, a brisk chopping motion to keep it all on line.

Finally a few observations

Robert: total commitment, close to the edge, almost lost it on entry but gathers it up just in time; red helmet bobbing with every bump in the road

DC: the old man of Formula One looked at home here but the eyes deceived because his times were not that hot

Felipe: gives himself and his car a very rough ride, hitting the curbing(and taking out the marker pole), none of the finesse of Nick or Lewis who showed all the signs of driving a competitive car. He(Lewis) looked slow but travelled smoothly and that usually means speed and it showed on the timing sheets.

Kazuki: another one on the edge, exciting to watch

Heikki: cautious

Nico: an artist at work

Hondas: gratingly noisy - quite different engine note to all the others and still look pretty ugly with their "Bugs Bunny" nose wings

Err that's it...

Comments

[Derek Smith]

Great to see a Williams up near the front again in the first two sessions. Rosberg's performance would tend to indicate that the problem with the car is in the aerodynamics.

[Melanie]

Err, that's it?

Nothing interesting about how Kimi, Lewis and Alonso drives around Monaco?

Anyways, good article!

[Nick]

My first realisation of the speed and precision of this sport was back in '93, at Silverstone, I was being a bit naughty and watching the Grand Prix from the bridge, (at bridge corner !) They came hurtling towards me and then seemed to come to a dead stop in an instant, followed by a gentle float round the corner, and then Wallop ! off up to luffield, again and again and again ! Awesome !

[Weasel]

You wax poetic Ed - but what a sensory overload description to us paupers who have not been invited onto a private yacht. Great piece but I hate you!

Seriously though, great writing, but do get yourself a Mac - the Airbook is perfect for a travellin' man such as yourself and you can then quietly shake your head at the unwashed masses with their Windows frightmares.

You'll soon learn that Windows is about as user friendly as a cornered rat and wonder why you put up with it for so long. You can still run Windows apps on the Mac - if you really must.

Once you go Mac you'll never go back.

[colin grayson]

don't follow the comments about felipe Ed
hits the curbs/ marker
looks smooth

they sound mutually exclusive to me

thought I warned you about standing behind the armco at the swimming pool entrance ....we need you to keep stirring the pot !

[CHIUNDA]

Ed, about the computer - believe me, you will live :-)) Minardi used to have those double seater PR drives for journalists - i don't think you'd have been as excited in one of those as by standing besides the track - talking about G-Forces is glamorous but experiencing them is very nauseating for the unseasoned.

[Carleton Twitchell]

Now do remind me ..when was it a low-powered nimble car like an Arrows very nearly won at Monaco ? ..definitely not a circuit for huge horsepower .. hence Honda sounding de-tuned ?..now about this computer stuff ..get an APPLE! It was probably all those Xrays it went through at the airport ...assuming you didnt motor down with Murray in a Bentley !Or it couldve been that image of Max on his balcony doing early morning Tai-Chi?
I see Alonso is 16/1 to win ...Webber 66 /1 ..does Monaco allow gambling ? Im joking! ...of course they do silly!
Must look up that car that nearly beat the Big Boys .. and on a rainy day too..
Seen any Rolling Stones yet? Mel Gibson ?(Mad Max-Beyond Silverstone sequel??:) Toodlepip..

[Dean Rodrigues]

Ed - is there still a yacht for sale - about 8th or 9th one down after the Nouvelle Chicane from the tunnel exit?

I want it. A lot. It is grey and dingy here in Oxfordshire.

Furthermore, you mentioned (in your earlier post) that Michael Schumacher's around in a big way - is he doing anything special or just around and about?

Sorry about your laptop. I recommend Sony VAIOs. They just work.

[Alex Watson]

Excellent post Ed, and I now know what you mean about the way the car looks when a driver is on a hot lap. I was lucky enough to watch first and second practice yesterday from a yacht in the Swimming pool complex, and Hamilton's 1:15.1 looked really, really together. Neat and full of purpose.

[Alex]

Just one observation, and not on a driver ...

Ed, in his observations clearly did not want to comment on Lewis or Tragic as he does not want to have to mess around editing 200+ comments with all those free bars and stunning women wandering around....

p.s. Don't listen to the Mac evangelists, they lie.

[D]

^
Ed >

You left a new, working, computer unattended - in Monaco - and returned to find it dead...

Forgive me for asking, but do you think anything you've written recently about a resident of Monaco might not have been entirely appreciated by some?