Isn't She Talking Yet? - Times Online - WBLG

Off topic once again

My favourite website of the day is Gizoogle, which usefully converts any webpage or section of text into (very specifically) Snoop Dogg speak. The results are entertaining whatever you put in, but become completely hilarious if you get it to translate, for instance, Daily Mail editorials. I'd post an example, but as you would expect there's a certain amount of language. Invaluable site, especially if you're Lauren Booth of the South London Massive.

A baby

finding something extremely funny. He is completely beside himself with mirth. Dong! Bing! Hahahahahahahaha.

Poetry in, er, motion

I love this so much. Liz Barraclough wrote: "As parents of two children, one with high support needs, we are constantly frustrated at the labyrinthine system we find ourselves in.  Last week I found myself talking for an hour to justify my daughter's need for more nappies.  Since going to a mainstream school she's received better care and is getting changed more often. Our response to these frustrations is to try and laugh, so my husband wrote a poem about it."  

And pretty damn great it is too. (Combine the writer's first name with his subject matter and you get Andrew Motion - don't know about you, but this is making me snigger quietly all by myself).

Four Times a Day

Or lines written upon learning that disabled children should only be changed four times a day (nappies that is)

The regal Bison when wandering the plain
Is free with his movements (he pees with disdain).
And when Nature calls him he rations it not
But dumps pounds of manure right out of his bot!

But if you’re disabled the policies say
You only need go some four times a day.

When flying the high clouds, the Eagle does dare
To shout “bombs away” without further care
And no inclination ever crosses his mind
To number the motions of his proud behind.

Ah but if you’re disabled you have to know
Four times a day is all you can go!

The Bear is often inclined to slink
Off into the woods (to sit and think)
And oft, whilst sitting, will gleefully pass
Its motions, unburdened with statistical tasks.

But if you’re disabled keep out of the woods
Four times a day is all of your goods!

The Orang-Utang whilst munching fruit
Is often heard to break out a “toot”
And if it should happen to follow through
Why then who’s counting, me or you?

But if you’re disabled the state wants to know
Four times a day is all you can go!

The man about town, when out on the lash
Does not number the times he nips out for a slash.
Nor would he take kindly, no not one iota
To be told he had taken far more than his quota.

But if you’re disabled you better learn soon
A four gallon bladder would be a real boon.

Animal and Man, from nation to nation
The whole of the planet – the whole of creation
We try to determine – Just who is it
That tells us the number of times we can shit?

And if you’re disabled and needing to go
Who can gainsay you, who tell you NO
Your rights are the same, let’s fight this together
And go when we want to, the more times the better.

Andy Barraclough, 2006.

Completely off-topic

but this never fails to make me laugh. It's a YouTube clip of a man demonstrating The Evolution of Dance. If you haven't seen it before, it's very much worth a click.

Why am I posting at 11.15 at night? Because someone's on sleep-strike, and sitting on my lap.

The nights are drawing in

and a person needs to keep her ears warm. If you're a knitter, you might want to check this out. No, it has nothing to do with special needs, unless your child suffers from hair loss and doesn't scare easily. But I think it's worth posting all the same.

Just seeing if I can post a picture...

...of Nell playing the keyboards dressed as a dinosaur - has a kind of 70s Elton John vibe to it. But it probably won't work. I've already got rid of an entire sidebar by accident...