Wedding singer in Baghdad

Embarrassing doesn’t come close to what happened yesterday.
It was at the Baghdad wedding of one of my Iraqi staff to a young woman.
The party was great, live Arabic music, lots of clapping and laughing, bride and groom sitting on posh, cushioned chairs looking lovingly at each other, the works.
Then the nightmare began.....

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Halfway through the evening, my employee cheerily beckoned me over to him and his beautiful, new wife.
The conversation went something like this:
Him: Remember that chat we had about singing at my wedding?
Me: The one when I jokingly agreed to break into song?
Him: But the best present you could give us is to sing today.
Me: You must be [a swear word that I won’t repeat] joking?
Him: Please, it would mean so much.
His new wife: [Offers sweet persuasive smile and nods]
Before I could say no and sprint back to my hotel, the groom had jumped up from his gold-framed chair and bounded over to the (very accomplished) wedding singer to whisper in his ear that he was about to be replaced.
All I could do was stand and watch in rapidly-rising panic.
There was no escape.
To make matters worse, at the back of the packed hall of family members and friends-of-the-groom was a gaggle of fellow foreign correspondents, looking curiously in my red-faced direction.
What happened next was a bit of a blur.
Faced with the option of either turning down my long-serving employee and doing a runner or swallowing my pride along with all traces of self-respect and belting out a song, I went for the latter.
In the back of my head, I reminded myself that I had won the Aldershot Folk Singing Contest aged 14 so couldn’t be that talentless.
Sadly 14 is a long time ago and my vocal chords have decayed with age.
Adding to the shame, the only vaguely suitable song that I know the words to is the ‘90s classic “Eternal Flame” by the Bangles.
Humiliating doesn’t do the next three minutes of my life justice, as evidenced by the video clip attached to this blog.
Still at least the bride and groom appeared to appreciate the gesture.
[Picture - Bride and groom cut the cake]

Comments

[Steve Kelly]

Oh God. That is my worst nightmare, I think I would have just bolted from the room. Fair play to you for doing it, and for posting the video!

What a great song and singer!

[Sennacherib]

I agree with Steve Kelly. Top marks to you for having the courage to go through with it!

[Jip]

Phew life in Baghdad gets better! Might be worth reporting by some of those fellow correspondents this side of the pond... Also should the biog now read? "She first reported on Iraq in 2004, covering the deteriorating security situation"... and then its dramatic improvement?

[neville weston]

So Whats new? Your readers surely don't doubt your courage, Its the least we expect from you!!

[Joe No]

What are you doing in Iraq in the first place? Your employee? Wow. You just told on yourself. You are profiteering on genocide.

[Robert]

Heart warming to see normal in this part of the world. Even more heart warming to see Iraqis and westerners enjoying the event together.

[Peter]

"one of my Iraqi staff" - Gees, you're only a journo and a terrible singer to boot.

[Zappy Corleone]

ROFL hahaha XD

[Catherine]

embarassing and lucrative - check teh phone ad before you can get to the fun part, which wasn't fun - don't know what teh audience thought.

[Pop]

I thought you sang beautifully, as you did in Aldershot. Love Dad x

[sian]

I seem to recall that you once sung the bangles at a japanese wedding also?!

you clearly spread a little happiness and humour too, your colleague's laughter is contageous!

well done - you have beautiful eyes..

[Hannah]

To resort to slang:
MEGA lolz...

How many other contestants exactly were there in Aldershot...?
Ah well, at least you went for the original version, not Atomic Kitten!
H.

[John]

Don't do yourself down - you sing beautifully Debbie. It would make Louise and I so happy if you were able to perform the same song on our big day.

X

[Kelly]

Wow what a performance! I am surprised you didn't choose 'Walk like an Egyptian' - as I'm sure you know the moves.

[Ferrah]

ummmmmm, you went to a wedding with out me!!!!!!!!!! you look good and sound good honey, thats nice of you to do that.

Love ya

[Alex]

Yes Peter, you pompous fool, one of her Iraqi "staff"... presumably staff such as interpreters, fixers, drivers, security staff etc. - just like any other journalist operating in a foreign country.

[Luke E]

Ah takes me back to the tokyo karaoke days... that unforgettable voice, the memories...