A century of the ICC

Crack open the complimentary peanuts, the ICC is having another jamboree in Dubai tomorrow (Tues) with a two-day board meeting that will consider, among other things, a successor to Malcolm Speed as chief executive, the audit of Zimbabwe Cricket's finances (hint: with inflation running at almost 8,000 per cent, I'd imagine it's f****d) and an increase in the number of elite umpires, presumably so that it will be easier to steer Darrell Hair away from diplomatically tricky fixtures as and when he finishes writing "I must not be seen to pick on Asian countries" out 50 million times.

The item on the agenda that catches the eye, however, is this: "The ICC's centenary is due in 2009 and the ICC Board will consider appropriate ways to mark the occasion." The International Cricket Council was founded in 1909 as the Imperial Cricket Conference, with England, Australia and South Africa the first members. It was expanded in 1926 to include India, New Zealand and West Indies and now has 101 members, from the United States (joined 1965) to Swaziland (2007).

Any bright ideas out there for how the ICC should mark the occasion? I'd quite like them to have a month of apathy, when they do no administrating and we can see whether the game will survive. Or how about a month-long World Test Championship, when the leading eight Test nations, divided into two pools with a final for the teams that come top, compete in the only proper form of cricket?

Nah. They'll probably just have another 50-over tournament to fill the gap between the 2008 Champions Trophy and the 2011 World Cup.

Comments

[Miriam]

I want them to have a "lucky dip" tournament where all the countries turn up but they play in mixed teams picked out of a hat.

[Peter McGuinness]

I think they should celebrate in the following fashion:

1. Punch themselves in the face

2. Senior administrators and power brokers forced to learn how to bowl, bat and field so that they have an abstract understanding of the wonderful game they are wringing the life out of. Start with a net session against Devon Malcolm and Ian Bishop.

3. Sack themselves

4. Reapply to a panel of randomly chosen cricket lovers from around the world (not including Tin-Pot Dictators) for their former positions

5. Upon failure, return to their day jobs as Politicians, TV executives, Military Advisors, Gamblers and Cheaply Attired Solicitors.

6. Punch themselves in the face.

7. Using funds 'obtained' during their tenure at the ICC, pay for a place in the Russian Space Academy.

8. Enrol in the Mars program.

9. Purchase a One Way ticket.

10. Blast Off.

Hope this helps Patrick. Kindly pass this suggestion onto Murgs for approval.